What Are Your Tastes? chapter 48

I Don’t Want to Go Back

On the snack street in the university town, one shop followed another, becoming livelier after dark.

The shadows of people under the streetlights, their steps varying in length, sometimes completely merging into the silver-white soft light.

Almost reaching the end of the road, Zhou Yanchuan, who had been silent all along, stopped. Lu Yunchu was beside him, less than half a meter away.

He remembered they had planned to find a place for dinner, but he had been absent-minded all the way and hadn’t noticed a suitable place to eat.

“How about here?” Lu Yunchu pointed to a small shop directly ahead, “Claypot Soup, okay?”

“Sure.”

The space here wasn’t large, and there weren’t many people temporarily. Besides a table near the staircase, the other tables were mostly occupied by students in groups of three or five, making them seem excessively quiet.

“The girl’s mother…” Lu Yunchu’s thoughts gradually returned, facing Zhou Yanchuan’s gaze, he spoke, “You know her, right?”

At McDonald’s earlier, Zhou Yanchuan hadn’t explained much to Liu Qingru, simply mentioning meeting her daughter as if she were just some random stranger he might encounter on the road.

But Liu Qingru was completely out of sorts. She called Zhou Yanchuan’s name in astonishment, and Zhou Yanchuan said to her, “It’s late, take the child home early.”

She leaned against the door again until the girl pulled her clothes and asked, “Mom, aren’t we going home?”

She lowered her head in disappointment, took her daughter’s hand, pushed the door and left. The girl turned back and waved to them, “Goodbye, Uncle!”

Lu Yunchu saw the woman’s hesitation to speak, guessing what kind of past she and Zhou Yanchuan had. He wasn’t indifferent, but he hadn’t thought of the right words at first.

“Well,” as Lu Yunchu asked, Zhou Yanchuan finished composing his thoughts, “She used to be someone I used to date.”

Lu Yunchu had read gossip and heard him mention it, somewhat mentally prepared.

“You two used to be close, right?” There was still affection in the woman’s eyes, perhaps recalling the past.

“We used to be quite good.”

Four young people came in at the door, pushing and shoving, running upstairs after seeing no seats on the first floor, and the footsteps almost covered Zhou Yanchuan’s voice.

Before, he was about the same age as these students, although he had never been to college, but he had the same spirit, louder voice than now, and bigger steps, doing everything in a hurry.

There was also a love that he thought would last forever.

“We actually——”

With a pause in his voice, Lu Yunchu looked back, “If you don’t want to say it, you don’t have to tell me.”

“It’s not that I can’t say,” on the contrary, he would like to confide, even if it was passed over in three words, “We were planning to get married, her father got sick, didn’t have the money for surgery, her husband helped her.”

The severed feelings were not like food that could be stored in the freezer for a while and taken out later to be consumed again; they were like burnt-out incense ashes, dissipated into dust long ago in the winds of time.

At least, that’s how it was for Zhou Yanchuan.

But as a listener, Lu Yunchu developed an excessive empathy. If he could, he wanted to go back ten years and hug the Zhou Yanchuan of that time.

“Was it hard for you back then?”

“It was alright, too busy with work to have time to be sentimental,” Zhou Yanchuan sighed, “She was a kind-hearted girl. Many pursued her for a long time, but she refused, always saying she had a boyfriend and kept her distance. It was only later, unable to withstand such kindness, that she changed her mind.”

Lu Yunchu ordered corn rib soup while Zhou Yanchuan ordered soybean pork trotter soup. Two small cans were brought to the table at the same time, and lifting the lids revealed steam indicating they were still quite hot.

“I don’t blame her,” Zhou Yanchuan didn’t rush to drink his soup and continued, “Back then, I wasn’t afraid to admit, my biggest wish was to have a stable job, earn some money, have a small family, and live peacefully together until old age. It was simple, so I… don’t quite understand why so many ordinary people can live their lives peacefully, while it seems I encountered something like this… perhaps it’s fate.”

He hadn’t shared these thoughts with anyone else before, feeling it was too sentimental. Today, to his own surprise, he poured it all out.

Noticing the directness of his words, Zhou Yanchuan suddenly blushed. “Did I say too much?”

“No,” Lu Yunchu’s eyelids drooped slightly, “Now, do you regret it?”

Or perhaps, would he turn back?

When he went to pick up their meals at McDonald’s, he overheard a conversation between two people. The girl said her parents were getting divorced.

“I have no regrets,” Zhou Yanchuan read different inquiries from his gaze, quickly adding, “Even if she’s divorced now, it’s impossible between us.”

It was only today that he realized, Liu Qingru had never mentioned her husband last time, because the two were divorced.

Of course, he wouldn’t arrogantly assume that the failure of the other party’s marriage was related to himself. From another perspective, even if it was really related, it was the problem between them as a couple. From his own perspective, he was just an outsider.

Before Lu Yunchu’s heart had a chance to experience a major shock, he restrained the waves of his response because of Zhou Yanchuan’s answer. Then he heard him emphasize again: “Really, I don’t want to go back.”

Lu Yunchu teased, “I understand. I’m not your current girlfriend; there’s no need to emphasize that.”

“Girl… cough—” Zhou Yanchuan finally realized, his anxious addition sounded too much like explaining his attitude towards his ex-girlfriend.

He seemed really afraid that Lu Yunchu would misunderstand his thoughts. However, noticing the expression of the other person, he suddenly felt a bit teased, mixed with a hint of resentment: “Stop laughing at me.”

The bright light shone down, and Lu Yunchu’s eyes seemed to shimmer. He slowly withdrew the smile from the corners of his lips, but still secretly savored the ambiguous atmosphere that only he understood.

“Okay, I won’t laugh,” he hoped these memories that upset Zhou Yanchuan would end there, “Let’s eat.”

Several home-cooked dishes were added to the table, and the temperature of the soup also decreased. Lu Yunchu scooped up a spoonful, leaned down, still a bit hot, but the strong sweet aroma of corn lingered on his tongue.

The Lantern Festival gathering was organized by Mo Ziyang and several other managers.

Last December, Zhou Yanchuan couldn’t attend the group’s annual meeting due to a broken arm, which everyone regretted. Although this was only a small-scale dinner party, it couldn’t match the grandeur of the annual meeting, but they still put in a lot of effort.

The venue was set at “Haicheng,” located in the park with excellent environment and views. Hongchuan booked the second-floor hall with three glass walls, offering a view of a large green area not far away, and a few people feeding pigeons in twos and threes.

Zhou Yanchuan was the protagonist of the gathering, familiar to everyone present. He arrived with Lu Yunchu and was immediately pulled into casual conversation by a client he got along well with.

Worried that Lu Yunchu might feel uncomfortable, he talked with people while subconsciously searching for his figure.

Within his line of sight, Lu Yunchu stood against the glass wall, chatting with Chen Mingxuan.