What Are Your Tastes? chapter 26
Do You Really Not Mind?
The three of them had no time to explain before the woman started crying loudly: “Why are you doing this? How have I treated you badly? You’d rather fool around with men than come home?”
Realizing she was Tao Jin’s mother, Lu Yunchu wanted to explain the misunderstanding, but Tao Jin stepped forward, lifted his head, and shouted back hysterically: “I should be asking you, when will you ever stop?”
His shout startled Lu Yunchu, who couldn’t have imagined that the seemingly gentle and shy young man could have such an outburst.
“They’re the ones who found Sabrina. It has nothing to do with me. Do you even know what you’re talking about?”
The woman was stunned, speechless for a long while. Tao Jin, like a machine triggered by a special switch, uncontrollably spat out harsh words, making his mother feel even more ashamed and nearly collapsing into tears.
“Please, stop pressuring me, okay?” she murmured, “I didn’t know. I’m sorry, I misunderstood. How could I not be worried when the teacher said you didn’t go to school this afternoon? What am I supposed to do?”
Since it was a private family matter and the misunderstanding was cleared up, Lu Yunchu and Zhou Yanchuan found an excuse to leave the mother and son.
Lu Yunchu hadn’t driven there, so Zhou Yanchuan gave him a ride back. What happened tonight didn’t need much explanation from Lu Yunchu; Zhou Yanchuan could guess: Tao Jin is gay, he went to a gay bar behind his family’s back, and Lu Yunchu called him out, coincidentally when his mother also showed up.
“I feel…” Zhou Yanchuan said thoughtfully as they drove away, “he’s not very suitable to raise Sabrina.”
A crack in the car window let in some air. Lu Yunchu didn’t look at him or respond, staring out the window instead. The wind occasionally brushed his bangs against his eyes, making them itch a little.
Zhou Yanchuan didn’t say anything more. Driving back to Blue Bay, they encountered heavy traffic and numerous red lights.
When they pulled into the underground garage, the clock showed it was past nine. Zhou Yanchuan unfastened his seatbelt and noticed Lu Yunchu beside him was still motionless, as if he had fallen asleep, though his eyes were half-open.
“Lu Yunchu?”
Lu Yunchu withdrew his arm from the car door armrest, pressed the seat belt release, and met Zhou Yanchuan’s gaze. “Actually, Tao Jin and I are the same kind of people.”
“What do you mean?” Zhou Yanchuan grasped the key point, “You are—”
“I’m gay, inherently.”
Lu Yunchu immediately opened the car door and got out, leaving Zhou Yanchuan momentarily stunned. When he stepped out of the car, Lu Yunchu was already several steps ahead.
From the garage to the elevator, then to their apartment door, Lu Yunchu remained silent, and Zhou Yanchuan didn’t know how to continue the topic.
He thought Lu Yunchu called Tao Jin out of the gay bar out of concern for the kid, never expecting him to say they were the same. He wasn’t even sure if Lu Yunchu went to the gay bar following Tao Jin or if he was there himself and just happened to run into Tao Jin.
Wanting to say something but unable to, Zhou Yanchuan was left conflicted. He didn’t even realize when Lu Yunchu went home, finding himself alone in the dimly lit hallway. He absentmindedly took out his keys.
Lu Yunchu’s mood was indeed off that night, which Zhou Yanchuan noticed. It seemed to start after he mentioned that Tao Jin wasn’t suitable to raise Sabrina. Then in the garage, Lu Yunchu told him they were the same kind of people, both gay.
Zhou Yanchuan pondered this and realized belatedly that Lu Yunchu might think he had a problem with gay people.
Feeling uneasy, he didn’t want Lu Yunchu to be hurt by a misunderstanding. Yet, seeking him out specifically to explain felt awkward. So he sent a WeChat message:
[When I said he wasn’t suitable to raise Sabrina, it wasn’t because of his orientation.]He added another message: [I have no problem with gay people.]
However, there was no response even by the next morning, with his two green-background messages still at the bottom of the chat.
Unable to sit still, Zhou Yanchuan went to knock on the door opposite, wondering how to bring up the topic to minimize awkwardness.
The previous night, Lu Yunchu indeed felt a surge of indescribable emotions, impulsively revealing his secret.
In hindsight, since they lived across the hall from each other and their relationship was growing into a good friendship, there was no need to hide such things. If Zhou Yanchuan minded and stopped interacting with him, it would be the same result whether he knew sooner or later.
But Zhou Yanchuan coming to find him early in the morning was unexpected.
“What’s up?”
Zhou Yanchuan got straight to the point: “Did you see my WeChat messages?”
“WeChat?”
“You didn’t see them?”
Zhou Yanchuan’s messages must have come while he was showering. Then he went straight to bed and didn’t check his phone.
Lu Yunchu quickly glanced at his phone screen. Zhou Yanchuan repeated, “I really have no problem with it. Don’t overthink.”
Lu Yunchu locked his phone, smiling slightly, “What am I overthinking?”
“You’re not overthinking?” Zhou Yanchuan’s expression clearly showed disbelief.
“It’s nothing,” he said. “Have you had breakfast? I just made some, want to join me?”
Zhou Yanchuan felt awkward always being taken care of, but after the misunderstanding, refusing felt even worse. He politely asked, “Is it convenient?”
“Sure, have a seat.”
That day, Lu Yunchu made a pot of yam and chestnut porridge with two side dishes. It was too much for one person, so it was perfect for Zhou Yanchuan to share.
During breakfast, Zhou Yanchuan explained his words from the previous night: “Actually, Tao Jin liking men is his personal matter. I definitely wouldn’t have any prejudice because of that. I just feel the kid’s state is unstable, like yesterday with his mom—”
Lu Yunchu ate his porridge silently, watching Zhou Yanchuan.
“He was too harsh to his mom,” he said. “No matter what, you should show some respect to your parents. What kind of major conflicts could a family have?”
Zhou Yanchuan had a deep bond with his parents, even though they had scolded him, he never resented them. So he couldn’t imagine a child losing temper so greatly in front of their parents.
But for Lu Yunchu, his connection with his family might be even less than Tao Jin’s.
“Do you think parents are always right?”
He rarely mentioned his family affairs to outsiders; having others pity his humiliating experiences felt like exposing ugly scars, which was deeply uncomfortable.
Yet, when he asked this question, it was as if he was faintly hoping for Zhou Yanchuan’s understanding.
How could that be? Their upbringings were completely different. Even if Zhou didn’t understand at all, it wouldn’t be his fault.
It was Lu Yunshu who had unrealistic expectations.
“Even if there are misunderstandings, they can be communicated slowly,” Zhou Yanchuan said in a nonchalant tone, “Tao Jin’s mother isn’t that tough, right? Why can’t things be said nicely?”
As he spoke, he realized discussing a child like this behind his back was a bit harsh and unrelated to him, so he softened his tone: “I was just saying casually. He’s still young, maybe he’ll change in the future. The main thing is that —Sabrina…I want her to always be well taken care of.”
“I know,” Lu Yunshu suppressed his indescribable thoughts and nodded, “I once read in a novel that a dog is happiest when it is cared for by someone who needs it. It makes sense.”
“Needs?”
“I think Tao Jin needs Sabrina’s companionship more than we do.”
At this point, Zhou Yanchuan realized there was no need to hold onto anything. He mentioned it in passing and then let it go, taking a bite of food while thinking about another matter—his misunderstanding about Lu Yunshu having a “girlfriend.”
“Lu Yunshu,” he looked up, “You actually don’t have a girlfriend?”
Lu Yunshu stared at him in surprise, “You thought I had a girlfriend?”
“Because of your friend last time…”
Lu Yunshu immediately understood; he must have mistaken Ning Ruowei for his girlfriend: “Of course not. Besides, she—”
“What?”
“Nothing.” Ning Ruowei wasn’t familiar with Zhou Yanchuan, and Lu Yunshu didn’t plan to reveal his friend’s privacy as conversation fodder.
Zhou Yanchuan didn’t dwell on it either. However, as someone encountering the gay community for the first time, he couldn’t help but be a bit curious: “So, do you have a boyfriend?”
“Not currently.”
Does that mean he used to? Zhou Yanchuan instinctively felt he shouldn’t ask further, but his curiosity was written all over his face. Lu Yunshu simply told him: “Actually, there’s nothing special about being gay. We’re all just ordinary people with the same range of emotions, joys, sorrows, and flaws, like betrayal.”
“You’ve been betrayed?”
“I only had one boyfriend when I was in school. That year, during a holiday, I went out of town for a field trip and agreed to come back in a month. But I came back a few days early, and when I walked in the door—I saw him with another guy in our house…”
Zhou Yanchuan was too shocked to speak. Neither he nor his friends had ever experienced something like this, so he couldn’t empathize immediately.
“Isn’t it ridiculous?” Lu Yunshu now spoke as if telling a joke, “He said he was waiting for me to come back, but this is how he waited.”
“And now…”
“Of course, it’s nothing now,” he smiled, a hint of mischief in his eyes, “By the way, do you really not mind that I’m gay?”
“Mind what?”
“That someone you’re friends with is gay?”
Zhou Yanchuan was genuinely shocked by the revelation yesterday, but as a friend, he didn’t care.
“Why would I mind?” he said carelessly, “You’re gay, but it’s not like you like me.”
In his shallow understanding, gays only liked people with the same orientation. Besides, their personalities and interests were so different that he never considered it a possibility.
“What if I did like you?”
“You like me?”
Zhou Yanchuan’s tone was devoid of any ambiguity, as if asking someone, “Do you like eggs?”
Lu Yunshu rested his chin on his hand, feeling as if a small bird about to hatch was fluttering inside him. The ticklish, restless feeling disappeared in an instant, and he smiled, saying, “In your dreams.”
Zhou Yanchuan guessed he was joking, so he relaxed: “That’s just your imagination.”
“Yeah,” Lu Yunshu’s mood brightened significantly, the earlier awkwardness from discussing family matters vanishing, “Do you want more porridge?”
“No, thanks,” Zhou Yanchuan wiped his mouth with a napkin, “When you’re too lazy to cook, come to my place to eat.”
“Okay.” Lu Yunshu agreed and started cleaning up the dishes.
With the kitchen blinds drawn, the area around the sink was framed with a golden edge by the morning sunlight.
The emotional rollercoaster of the morning felt like driving on a winding mountain road with sudden sharp turns, leaving him little time to ponder the reasons behind it.