Try Again chapter 27

He Wants Him

Holding his breath, Jiang Lin listened to the increasingly pronounced sound of his heartbeat in his mind, anxiously waiting for Ji Minglun’s next move. But the person holding him remained still. Just as Jiang Lin was about to lift his left hand to return the embrace, the arm resting on his shoulder slid down to the sides, and Ji Minglun muttered in his sleep again.

Quietly turning his face, Jiang Lin saw that Ji Minglun still had his eyes closed, leaning against the headrest as if he hadn’t woken up.

His palm, which had been pressed against the seat’s edge, began to tremble from the strain. Jiang Lin retreated to the passenger seat, his rapid heartbeat calming down as his emotions subsided. But in its place came a sense of emptiness, a fatigue that filled his chest.

Ji Minglun must have been dreaming, or maybe just confused from sleep. Yet at that moment, Jiang Lin had gotten excited, thinking that Ji Minglun wanted…

With his right hand on the door handle, Jiang Lin endured another wave of pain in his abdomen, quietly got out of the car, and closed the door.

After hearing the door close, Ji Minglun, who had been peeking with a barely open eye, finally relaxed a little and opened his eyes.

Jiang Lin opened the gate and walked upstairs. There was no lighting outside, but Ji Minglun had a vague feeling that something about Jiang Lin’s posture was off. Before he could see clearly, the gate closed, and then he noticed that Jiang Lin had left his phone by the car door.

The screen reflected the soft purple glow of the ambient light. Thinking about the embrace they had just shared, Ji Minglun rubbed his face in frustration.

He hadn’t expected to be so drowsy that he actually hugged him.

From the driver’s seat, he couldn’t see the staircase to the right, so Ji Minglun calculated that Jiang Lin had probably made it inside. He lowered the car window and leaned out. A faint light was coming from the kitchen of Jiang Lin’s home.

Leaning back in his seat, he glanced at Jiang Lin’s phone again.

Bringing it up right now would be awkward, especially since he had just pretended to be asleep. Jiang Lin probably wouldn’t think too much of it, but it was better to wait a bit.

After stepping out of the car, Ji Minglun walked over to a phoenix tree nearby and leaned against it. The night was thick, and a shared bike and sandbag against the wall were hidden in the shadows. His mind drifted back to the embrace they had shared.

Jiang Lin hadn’t pushed him away, probably because he was startled. Fortunately, Ji Minglun had chosen to keep pretending to sleep, otherwise he wouldn’t have known how to handle it.

Unable to resist, he lit another cigarette, calming down as he puffed out smoke. After standing there for a while, he returned to the car. Just as he figured it was time to return Jiang Lin’s phone, the lights on the seventh floor lit up, followed by the fifth floor, then the fourth. Soon, the gate creaked open, and Jiang Lin was walking toward the car.

Instinctively, Ji Minglun shut his eyes and pretended to be asleep again.

Jiang Lin quietly sat back inside the car, closing the door without making a sound. Suspicious, Ji Minglun wondered what was going on, but in his hurry earlier, he had ended up facing the car door, unable to see Jiang Lin. Realizing he couldn’t keep this up, Ji Minglun decided to drop the act, opening his eyes and pretending to have just woken up.

Glancing at him yawning, Jiang Lin didn’t mention how he had spotted Ji Minglun smoking while leaning against the tree earlier. He simply asked, “Why didn’t you wake me when we arrived?”

“You looked really tired. Besides, I was feeling full and a bit sleepy myself,” Ji Minglun played along, stretching for good measure.

Picking up the phone by the door, Jiang Lin said, “I’ll head up now.”

Ji Minglun watched him open the door, saying, “Your car’s still in the same spot. Don’t forget to pick it up tomorrow.”

“Got it,” Jiang Lin replied flatly, reminding him to “drive safely on the way back” before closing the door.

“Okay,” Ji Minglun waved, and after Jiang Lin disappeared behind the gate, he started the car, smoothly turning around and driving off.

Jiang Lin stood at the corner of the second floor, watching as the car, enveloped in the night, brightened its taillights as it prepared to turn a corner. The lights gradually dimmed, disappearing from view.

Leaning against the wall, he stared into the deep night, lost in thought, until a tenant on the first floor opened their door, jolting him back to reality and prompting him to go upstairs.

Once inside, he stripped off his clothes and stood under the shower.

The medicine for his stomach had worked well, and the pain had subsided. Adjusting the water to a comfortable temperature, he reached for the shampoo. The familiar scent of sandalwood and cedar soon enveloped him as he tilted his head back, letting the water hit his face. He hadn’t meant to dwell on it, but the memory of that embrace kept coming back.

It felt like an invisible pair of hands wrapped around him from behind, the person’s breath falling near his ear. As water soaked his skin, a hand slid down his chest, stopping where he most wanted to be touched.

The sound of breathing grew heavier. He couldn’t tell if it was his or theirs, but soon, his consciousness was overtaken by the heat of the moment. Something spilled onto the floor, washed away by the clear stream of water, slipping into the drain.

Leaning against the wall, he gasped for breath, looking at his disheveled reflection in the mirror.

After showering, he collapsed onto the bed, his body drained of energy. Despite his exhaustion, his mind refused to let him sleep, and as morning light slowly filtered into the room, he remained wide awake, still dreaming.

He dreamt of Ji Minglun kissing him, holding him, their faces close, whispering in his ear, asking if he liked him. Even though his body had just been satisfied, it still longed to be touched. That uncomfortable, unsatisfied feeling burned slowly around his heart, painful and hot, yet he lacked the strength to break free.

That afternoon, he was late.

Deng Feng called him twice, but he didn’t pick up. Around three o’clock, he called back. Deng Feng noticed his heavy nasal tone and hoarse voice, thinking he was sick. He said he just hadn’t slept well and would be there soon.

After washing up, he remembered his car was parked across from Lao Yu’s porridge shop, so he walked outside the complex to catch a ride. By the time he reached the café, the slanting sunlight had already hit the west side of the counter. A person was sitting on the only barstool at the counter, chatting casually with Deng Feng.

Seeing him arrive, that person nodded at him, and he nodded back. Then he heard Deng Feng ask, “You really okay? You look terrible, don’t push yourself.”

While speaking, Deng Feng came out from behind the counter and touched his forehead with the back of his hand. He dodged it and said, “I’m fine.”

“Go home and rest today.”

“No need, I’m good.” He looked seriously at Deng Feng and walked around him into the café.

Watching Jiang Lin’s back, Deng Feng sighed, hands on his hips, while Shen Ran, who was sitting on the high stool, asked, “Feng Ge, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Deng Feng replied, glancing at a customer waiting at the counter before quickly walking over.

Shen Ran pulled out his phone. As Deng Feng finished taking the order, he heard Shen Ran say, “Why hasn’t senior turned on his phone yet?”

“Call him later. He probably pulled an all-nighter last night,” Deng Feng replied casually.

Shen Ran knew there was emotional tension between Ji Minglun and Jiang Lin. Thinking of how Jiang Lin had looked overly exhausted when he walked in, he tentatively asked, “Who did he hang out with last night?”

“He didn’t say,” Deng Feng poured the chopped avocado into the blender and added some ice, “But my sister ran into him at the concert last night. She didn’t see who he was with.”

Shen Ran also had friends who went to the Grass festival last night and posted over a dozen videos of the event on their social media. If Ji Minglun had really mysteriously gone with someone and stayed out all night, it was probably Jiang Lin.

After all, Ji Minglun had come out to their group of friends but had never openly expressed liking anyone. The last time he used Shen Ran to provoke Jiang Lin, he specifically told him not to tell anyone, not even Deng Feng.

Taking a couple sips of his lemon tea, Shen Ran’s gaze shifted when Jiang Lin came out with his apron on. He looked at him differently now.

Jiang Lin didn’t notice Shen Ran’s gaze. He had pulled an all-nighter, and though he’d slept during the day, it had been restless sleep. He still felt sluggish.

In the evening, Ji Minglun finally showed up. Hands in his pockets, he walked into the café, scanned the room, and didn’t see Jiang Lin. Instead, Shen Ran, sitting by the bar, waved his arm and complained, “Senior, you finally came. I’ve been waiting for you for two hours, and your phone’s been off.”

Ji Minglun asked, “What’s up?”

Deng Feng interrupted, “This guy wants to ask if he can join you on your trip to Xi’an.”

Ji Minglun looked at Shen Ran. “What about you and Li Ting?”

He didn’t finish the sentence, but Shen Ran understood. His face darkened as he quietly said, “We broke up. I’m not going to Yangzhou anymore.”

This outcome wasn’t unexpected. Ji Minglun patted Shen Ran’s shoulder. “A trip to clear your mind sounds good. Sort out your schedule.”

Deng Feng laughed, “See, I told you it wouldn’t be a problem, but you insisted on waiting here.”

Shen Ran’s expression softened. He hopped off the stool and said, “I just needed to confirm. I’ve got some things to handle at school, so I’ll head out first.”

Ji Minglun reminded him to be careful on the way, and after Shen Ran left, he turned to head inside to find Jiang Lin. Just as he was about to, he noticed the small supply room door by the fridge open, and Jiang Lin stepped out holding a bottle of mint syrup.

Their eyes met for a moment, and Ji Minglun headed toward the break room. Deng Feng took the syrup from Jiang Lin’s hands and asked, “I’m about to prepare dinner. What do you want to eat?”

“Anything’s fine,” Jiang Lin said, watching Deng Feng take the syrup. He asked, “Were you guys just talking about the trip to Xi’an?”

Deng Feng paused as he opened the bottle, “Yeah, we’re leaving on the 6th of next month. The café will be closed for a week, but everyone will still get paid.”

Jiang Lin nodded and attached the spout to the syrup bottle. Just as he placed the bottle on the rack, he heard Deng Feng say, “Are you interested in joining?”

Jiang Lin turned to look at Deng Feng, “Are there a lot of people going?”

He didn’t outright refuse, so Deng Feng got excited, “Not really. It was originally just Minglun who wanted to go, and I’ve never been to Xi’an, so I decided to join him. Then my sister invited some friends, and now Shen Ran’s going too.”

“If you come along, that makes six. We haven’t booked tickets or hotels yet. You wouldn’t have to worry about anything—just join us and have fun.”

Jiang Lin listened carefully, but Deng Feng was worried he might end up declining, so he started listing some famous spots in Xi’an.

“So, what do you think?” Deng Feng nudged his arm. “Want to come relax for a few days?”

Jiang Lin had never been to Xi’an, but the destination wasn’t the point—it was that Ji Minglun would be going. But Ji Minglun hadn’t even mentioned the trip to him. Would he want him to join?

As he hesitated over how to bring it up, Deng Feng suddenly called over his shoulder, “Minglun, is it okay if we add one more person to the Xi’an trip?”

Jiang Lin immediately looked behind him. Ji Minglun, wearing the café’s black apron, was staring at the two of them with a blank expression.

Deng Feng, oblivious to the tension, walked over, put an arm around Ji Minglun’s neck, and pointed at Jiang Lin. “Let Jiang Lin come too. He rarely gets a summer break back in the country—he can’t just spend it working in our café!”

Author’s note:

Deng Feng: Watch me dig my own grave.