Try Again chapter 20
Climbing into bed?
A hand reached out in front of him, and before Jiang Lin could react, Ji Minglun took the phone back.
Ji Minglun hadn’t seen the lock screen, so he didn’t notice what Jiang Lin saw. He just asked, “Have you met your dad since you got back?”
Jiang Lin came to his senses and slowly shook his head. “He’s on a business trip in Shenzhen. He won’t be back until next month.”
Ji Minglun said, “He probably called because he saw the typhoon and was worried about you.”
Jiang Lin’s expression remained unchanged, but he suddenly snorted and turned his face away.
Ji Minglun knew all too well about the tension between Jiang Lin and Jiang Jianchen, and he also knew Jiang Lin didn’t want to hear more about it. So, he dropped the subject and glanced at the pillow and blanket on the sofa. “Get some rest.”
Jiang Lin averted his gaze, feeling a bit tempted to ask about the WeChat message he had just seen. But he didn’t know how to start.
Deng Yi and Ji Minglun were friends, and asking for a birthday gift was normal. While Jiang Lin hesitated, Ji Minglun sat down by the sofa and draped the blanket over himself.
Jiang Lin was momentarily stunned, then quickly said, “I’ll sleep on the sofa.”
Ji Minglun picked up the remote and changed the channel. “I’ll sleep here. I’ll watch some TV for a bit.”
As he said this, Ji Minglun kept his eyes on the screen. After flipping through several channels, Jiang Lin, who had been standing still, walked over to the coffee table, blocking his view of the TV.
“You’re here to help. I can’t let you sleep on the sofa,” Jiang Lin’s voice was firm, but the last sentence sounded a bit weak. “Why don’t we just sleep on the bed together?”
The hand holding the remote lowered, and Ji Minglun stared at Jiang Lin, his mind filled with the phrase “sleep together.”
Even though he knew Jiang Lin didn’t mean it that way, and had long since resolved to move on, hearing such a potentially ambiguous statement still made him react in a way he shouldn’t have.
He masked his emotions by grabbing a tangerine from the fruit tray and said, “Alright, I’ll go in then.”
It wasn’t until the guest bedroom door closed that Jiang Lin turned back.
Though the result was expected, the heavy feeling of disappointment still settled in when Ji Minglun chose to sleep alone rather than with him.
Sitting down where Ji Minglun had been, Jiang Lin turned off the TV, pulled the blanket over his face, and let his mind go blank for a while before remembering he hadn’t turned off the lights.
He got up to turn off the lights. As he reached the wall, he faintly heard the sound of someone talking. He flipped the switch, and sure enough, light leaked through the crack in the guest bedroom door.
Guessing that Ji Minglun was on the phone, Jiang Lin went to the kitchen to get some water. While rinsing his cup at the sink, another flash of lightning streaked outside.
He stared at the blurred world beyond the window. After the flash of lightning, thunder rumbled across the sky.
The booming sound rang in his ears, and it felt as though his heart was being crushed by the pressure. He struggled to catch his breath for a moment. After turning off the faucet, he leaned against the wall to recover, then immediately brewed a cup of warm water and drank it.
When he returned to the living room, he found himself lost in the only remaining light. But this time, there was no more talking—perhaps the phone call had ended.
Lying down on the sofa, he placed his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure how much time passed before the light in the guest bedroom went out. Once again, he pulled the blanket over his head, trying to force himself to sleep.
The blanket muffled the sound of the wind and rain outside, but even after tossing and turning on the sofa for a long time, sleep eluded him.
Compared to that day when he slept on Ji Minglun’s sofa, tonight felt like torture.
His family’s furniture was all in traditional Chinese style. The sofa, designed for comfort while sitting, had a curve that fit the human body well. Sitting in it felt cozy, but lying down caused him to slide into the inner side, unable to lie flat, which became increasingly uncomfortable over time.
After turning over again, he stared at the crack of the door to the guest bedroom, wondering if Ji Minglun had fallen asleep yet. Suddenly, a muffled thunderclap rolled across the sky.
The thunder seemed to explode right next to his ear, and he immediately sat up, his eyes fixed on the master bedroom door.
At the same moment, the person in the guest bed, who had also been tossing and turning, unable to sleep, looked at the bedroom door.
In fact, the reason he agreed to bring the cakes to Jiang Lin today instead of Deng Feng wasn’t just because it was difficult to get a cab in the typhoon weather. It was also because Jiang Lin’s mother had passed away on a stormy typhoon night.
Back then, Jiang Lin had sat unmoving by his mother’s sickbed, listening to the rumbling thunder and pouring rain outside the window, until he had arrived.
He remembered that when he got there, the hospital room was already filled with people—besides Jiang Jianchen, Jiang Lin’s grandparents, uncles, and aunts were all present. But it wasn’t until he arrived that Jiang Lin, who had been sitting rigidly in the corner, finally reacted. His lifeless eyes looked toward him, like vines weaving through thorns, and his heart clenched.
Later, he took Jiang Lin to the restroom outside. In a private stall, Jiang Lin finally collapsed on his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably.
They had both been only fourteen at the time, but Jiang Lin’s heart-wrenching cries that night were seared into his memory. From then on, every time a typhoon hit, he would spend the night with Jiang Lin—until the early summer of last year.
Even though they were now separated by the vast expanse of the Pacific, he couldn’t help but wonder if Jiang Lin would still recall those painful memories during stormy nights. But back then, he could no longer be by Jiang Lin’s side, so no amount of worrying mattered.
His drifting thoughts were interrupted by a light knock at the door. Before he could respond, the door handle turned, and the door opened.
He shut his eyes, leaving a small slit to peek toward the door. Jiang Lin peeked in, checked on him, and then quietly entered, closing the door behind him.
He wanted to see what Jiang Lin would do, so he continued pretending to sleep. Jiang Lin tiptoed over, confirmed that he wasn’t awake, and then placed a pillow on the large carpet by the bed, wrapped himself in a blanket, and lay down.
After waiting for a while, seeing that Jiang Lin hadn’t moved again, he rolled over to lie flat. As expected, Jiang Lin sat up, watching him nervously. But when he didn’t react after turning over, Jiang Lin relaxed and lay back down.
Opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling, Ji Minglun sighed inwardly.
They had said they would remain friends, but it must have been hard for Jiang Lin too. Always approaching so cautiously, trying to please him—it was hard to tell who was worse off, him or Jiang Lin.
They had once been so close, but he had ruined it with his impulsiveness. He clearly remembered how uncomfortable Jiang Lin had been for a long time after seeing two boys kiss in an alley during their second year of high school. So why couldn’t he hold back, insisting on confessing to Jiang Lin before he left for abroad?
If nothing had ever happened, wouldn’t it have been better? He could have kept that affection to himself and at least held the position of closest friend.
Was Deng Feng right, though? Should he find some guy to date, to distract himself, so he could keep a proper distance and remain friends with Jiang Lin?
But whenever he thought of being with someone who wasn’t Jiang Lin, he just couldn’t muster any interest.
His mind was a mess, and time slipped by without him realizing. After that single rumble of thunder earlier, the sky had stayed quiet. Ji Minglun looked at the moonlight shining in through the window and waited a long while before sitting up quietly.
Peeking down, he saw that Jiang Lin had curled up on his side, facing him, already asleep.
Maybe because of his position, even in his sleep, Jiang Lin seemed somewhat vulnerable.
Ji Minglun stared at him for a moment, his gaze falling on Jiang Lin’s hand near his face.
During dinner earlier, he had caught a glimpse of the eczema on his hands, which had been getting better, but now seemed to have flared up again.
He reached down from the edge of the bed, his fingertips stopping just short of touching Jiang Lin’s, then moved to gently stroke Jiang Lin’s cheek.
Jiang Lin had fine features, lacking the rough masculinity of most boys. With his slightly longer hair, he exuded a melancholic air. Ji Minglun used to love seeing him tie a small ponytail at the back of his head, often finding his hands itching to touch it, only to be met with an exasperated look from Jiang Lin.
After watching for a while, Ji Minglun got out of bed carefully, picked up Jiang Lin, placed him on the bed and moved him to a more comfortable spot.
Later that night, the rain quieted down, and Ji Minglun, watching the person beside him, gradually drifted off as well. But he didn’t sleep deeply, and woke as soon as daylight touched his eyelids.
No surprise, his arm was pinned beneath Jiang Lin’s head, with his other arm draped over Jiang Lin’s back. Jiang Lin’s hand rested on his waist, his face buried in his neck, sound asleep.
Ji Minglun closed his eyes again, savoring the warmth he had missed for so long. For a moment, he was tempted to pull him even closer.
But that thought was cut short by the reaction of his body. Given how hard it was to control himself in the mornings, and the fact that he wasn’t wearing any underwear, he knew things would get awkward if Jiang Lin woke up and noticed.
Reminding himself to let go, he was about to move when he sensed Jiang Lin emit a soft moan. Then Jiang Lin shifted, sliding a leg between his.
Holding his breath, Ji Minglun felt the hand on his waist tighten briefly before Jiang Lin settled again.
After a moment of tense stillness, when he was sure Jiang Lin hadn’t woken up, Ji Minglun finally dared to look down at his face.
Compared to the night before, Jiang Lin’s complexion was rosier, with sleep marks on his face. As Ji Minglun watched, his attention drifted to Jiang Lin’s lips. But before he could get carried away, a ringtone came from the living room.
It was Jiang Lin’s phone. Ji Minglun pretended to be asleep, and Jiang Lin, disturbed by the sound, soon woke up. Seeing how they were tangled together, Jiang Lin didn’t push him away immediately. He waited until the ringtone stopped before letting out a quiet breath, his breathing noticeably heavier.
Ji Minglun waited for Jiang Lin to pull away and get up, but he didn’t move for a long time. Just as Ji Minglun was beginning to wonder, the ringtone sounded again from outside.
This time, Jiang Lin moved, carefully withdrawing his arms and legs. After gently removing Ji Minglun’s arm, he quickly walked to the door, stepped outside, and closed the door behind him.
Ji Minglun kept his eyes closed, pretending to be asleep, only opening them after he heard the door close.
Jiang Lin seemed to have answered a phone call, and Ji Minglun could vaguely hear his low voice. It didn’t take long for him to realize that it was Jiang Jianchen who had called, so he sat up and stretched his numb arm.
Last night, Jiang Jianchen had called Jiang Lin, but Jiang Lin had ignored it. Later, when he came into the room, Jiang Jianchen called him again, asking about the typhoon weather.
Over the years, Jiang Jianchen had taken a hands-off approach with Jiang Lin, only learning about his son through him. After Jiang Lin went to Los Angeles, Jiang Jianchen continued to call frequently, until he realized that Ji Minglun really didn’t know what was going on with Jiang Lin in Los Angeles, and then the calls became less frequent.
Thinking that Jiang Lin had probably argued with Jiang Jianchen again, Ji Minglun thought of Ji Zhuosheng’s idea of moving abroad.
After that argument, Ji Zhuosheng hadn’t brought it up again for a few days, and the news hadn’t yet reached his mother. But if he really was considering going abroad, he would need to start preparing soon.
The first hurdle was language. While many people in Seoul spoke English, it wouldn’t be as convenient as Korean. There was also the issue of work.
As soon as he started thinking about these things, the pressure mounted, easily leading to frustration. However, before he could think too much, the door opened again.
Jiang Lin didn’t knock, likely thinking Ji Minglun was still asleep. But when the door was halfway open, they locked eyes.
They silently stared at each other for a moment. Just as Ji Minglun was wondering if he should pretend he had just woken up, Jiang Lin spoke first, “Did I wake you?”
Yawning, Ji Minglun said, “Mm, not sure why, but my arm fell asleep.”
He squeezed his numb arm while Jiang Lin looked a bit uneasy, changing the subject. “I’m making breakfast. Do you want a burger? There’s a quick-fix one in the fridge.”
The sound of wind and rain outside continued as Ji Minglun got out of bed and walked towards the door in his slippers. “I’ll make some noodles. We had hot pot last night, so let’s not eat something greasy in the morning.”
Jiang Lin stepped aside, and as Ji Minglun walked past him, he glanced at Ji Minglun’s crotch. After seeing what he saw, he quickly averted his gaze. Only after Ji Minglun entered the bathroom did he lean against the wall, exhaling in relief.
Looking down at the noticeable bulge in his pants, he covered his face with his right hand, but couldn’t help peeking through his fingers at the bed.
If Jiang Jianchen’s call hadn’t woken him up, would Ji Minglun have realized they’d slept together?
But why had he gotten into bed? He distinctly remembered falling asleep on the carpet.
Could it be that he got confused in his sleep and crawled into bed on his own?