Reservoir Dogs chapter 54
Shame
Glutinous rice chicken has many ingredients and takes a long time to prepare, so Jiang Chengyuan brought back only some home-cooked dishes.
Xiao Zhou said he craved glutinous rice chicken, but it was more about homesickness.
When Jiang Chengyuan returned with the food, he was awakened by the smell. Seeing Jiang Chengyuan set out the dishes, he was shocked and puzzled, “Have you been to my home?”
Jiang Chengyuan handed him a pair of chopsticks, nodded, and said, “Yes, your mother is very kind.”
Xiao Zhou frowned, “You didn’t tell her I was hospitalized, did you?”
“No, do I seem like someone who doesn’t know their boundaries?”
Xiao Zhou still frowned, “Then why did she let you bring food?”
Jiang Chengyuan smiled, “I told her you were too busy and hadn’t had dinner yet, so she prepared this for me to bring to you. Remember to call her. You haven’t contacted her for a few days, and she’s very worried.”
Xiao Zhou was surprised to hear Jiang Chengyuan talk about his mother so familiarly, feeling like he was dreaming. He had only taken a short nap, yet Jiang Chengyuan was talking about his mother as if they were old friends.
Xiao Zhou picked up the chopsticks and tentatively took a bite of the shredded potatoes. The familiar sour and spicy taste awakened his taste buds; it was still warm and delicious, but a bit strange.
After finishing, Jiang Chengyuan helped him lie down and took the bowls and chopsticks to wash. Xiao Zhou turned his head to watch Jiang Chengyuan enter the bathroom attached to the hospital room. The dim light shone on him, and his white shirt absorbed the light, creating an elegant curve at the back of his neck. His sleeves were rolled up, and the sound of running water could be heard. After a while, he came out with still-wet hands, grabbed a tissue from the TV cabinet, and wiped them dry.
It looked so down-to-earth and real.
Xiao Zhou stared blankly, “Why are you doing this yourself?”
Jiang Chengyuan said, “Amoline had some family matters to attend to, so I let her go home. I’ll stay here tonight.”
Xiao Zhou felt uneasy, “Actually, you don’t need to. I can manage by myself.”
“It’s okay.” Jiang Chengyuan replied, lowering his head to respond to a few messages on his phone. He glanced around the room and saw a few novels Amoline had left to pass the time, all in English. He picked one up and read a couple of pages; it was a romance novel.
Xiao Zhou, having just woken up fully rested, wasn’t sleepy at all. Seeing Jiang Chengyuan reading Amoline’s book, he couldn’t help but ask, “What book is that? I asked her, but she never really responded.”
Jiang Chengyuan shook his head, “She can’t speak, but she understands everything.”
Xiao Zhou was surprised that Amoline couldn’t speak, “Has she been with you for a long time?”
Jiang Chengyuan said, “Several years. She was tricked into coming here and lost her voice during the smuggling process. Later, she escaped from her husband’s family and has been working as a maid for various households. Seeing that she was diligent and honest, I kept her.”
Such a pitiful person, Xiao Zhou thought.
“Don’t want to sleep anymore?” Jiang Chengyuan asked.
Xiao Zhou nodded.
Jiang Chengyuan brought the book over, “Shall I read to you?”
Xiao Zhou nodded, feeling a bit expectant. His hands were inconvenient, and the books Xiao Ping brought to pass the time had been read several times already. He was too embarrassed to ask for materials from Jiang Chengyuan’s side, so now he finally had something new to occupy his time.
Jiang Chengyuan initially wanted to translate directly for him, but Xiao Zhou insisted on hearing the original text. It had been a while since he had engaged with anything entirely in English, so it felt somewhat unfamiliar, prompting Jiang Chengyuan to read slowly.
He had a broadcaster-like good voice, especially pleasant when reading English. The deep, magnetic tone was like striking a row of keys in the low range of a piano. Seeing that Xiao Zhou didn’t understand and looked confused, he would stop and explain in Chinese.
The story was clichéd, a rags-to-riches tale where a royal member falls in love with a poor girl. Not a classic, but a time-killing romance novel.
Because he had to listen and translate at the same time, Xiao Zhou listened very intently. Having nowhere to rest his gaze, he sometimes just stared at Jiang Chengyuan’s lips as he read. Occasionally, he would look at the fingers resting on the book cover or his half-lowered eyelashes.
The prince in the book was professing his love, using countless beautiful and intricate metaphors to describe his feelings, saying that the girl’s figure, words, smile, even her sleepy look when dozing off were all deeply imprinted in his mind, all so touching. It was excessively sentimental, Eastern restraint versus Western works always being enthusiastic and bold, never hiding their emotions.
Those words from Jiang Chengyuan’s mouth, aside from the fervent vocabulary, carried a restrained elegance, making love and desire so light.
Listening for a long time, Xiao Zhou found himself a bit dazed.
Time flew by without feeling its passage.
Perhaps due to the two cups of water he drank earlier, Xiao Zhou gradually felt a need to pee, his lower abdomen swelling.
In the first few days, he relied on a bedpan for relief. Once he could move, he insisted on going to the bathroom, though he needed someone to help him walk and couldn’t stand steadily.
After holding it for another hour, unable to endure any longer, his bladder started to ache intermittently. Between the options of losing control or asking for help to the bathroom, the latter seemed more bearable.
It took a lot of mental preparation for him to speak up.
Jiang Chengyuan closed the book, stood up without a word, helped him sit up from the bed, then placed one of Xiao Zhou’s arms around his neck and another hand on his waist, supporting him to stand up, and slowly moved to the bathroom.
Standing in front of the toilet, Xiao Zhou withdrew his hand, feeling a bit embarrassed, “Can you turn around?”
Jiang Chengyuan looked at him, “Can you stand on your own?”
Xiao Zhou nodded.
“But your hands are bandaged like this. How do you plan to manage?”
Xiao Zhou stammered, “I’ll re-bandage them later.”
“That’s too troublesome.”
Jiang Chengyuan reached around him from behind, circled his waist, and with both hands helped him undo his belt and pull down his pants, then held him.
Xiao Zhou didn’t expect him to do this, feeling extremely stiff and uncomfortable all over. Being watched made it impossible to release.
Seeing that he wasn’t moving at all, Jiang Chengyuan rested his chin on his shoulder, his mouth close to his ear. As he spoke, his breath flowed over Xiao Zhou’s ear, “Are you shy?”
Xiao Zhou felt a jolt through his body, blood rushing up, “Don’t do this.”
“What am I doing?” Jiang Chengyuan maintained his position, the teasing tone in his voice becoming more evident, “Don’t be nervous, relax. You can’t hold it in all night.”
Xiao Zhou’s face flushed red, “I can stand on my own.”
“The floor is wet; it’s safer this way.”
It was more his mischievousness than genuine concern. Xiao Zhou’s body trembled violently, most of his strength relying on Jiang Chengyuan’s embrace. Half his face buried in Jiang Chengyuan’s clothes, he caught a whiff of the spicy alcohol scent from him.
He whispered, almost pleading, “Stop teasing me.”
“I’m not teasing you.” Jiang Chengyuan kissed the top of his head, “Just do it.”
Xiao Zhou knew he couldn’t win against him. Jiang Chengyuan was determined. He had been very tolerant recently and needed to let off some steam.
Xiao Zhou stiffened for a moment before slowly relaxing his body, feeling a sense of hopelessness.
Then, a clear sound of water flow was heard, piercingly loud in the empty hospital room, the shame threatening to strip him bare, exposing a raw, bleeding chunk of flesh.
Xiao Zhou’s teeth chattered, and he shut his eyes tightly as if to escape. When the sound of the water subsided, another stream of warm liquid flowed from his eyes, soaking Jiang Chengyuan’s shirt, leaving a small wet spot.
“Why are you crying?” Jiang Chengyuan bent down to kiss away his tears, “I didn’t bully you, did I?”
He took a tissue to wipe him and then put little Xiao Zhou back, fastening his belt. Xiao Zhou remained limp, seemingly drained of all strength.
Supporting Xiao Zhou to stand for a while, Jiang Chengyuan washed his hands and then led him back to the bed.
Xiao Zhou sat on the edge of the bed, his head drooping, revealing a chin so pale it was almost transparent.
Jiang Chengyuan knew he had pushed him too hard. It was different from making love, and it crushed his pride. Jiang Chengyuan felt a bit soft-hearted but had no regrets.
He walked over, squatted in front of Xiao Zhou, lifted his face, and found him biting his lower lip, the sharp little teeth drawing blood.
He reached out to wipe away the blood, sighing, “One place just healed, and another is hurt again.”
Xiao Zhou’s eyelashes, dried from the tears, fluttered. He looked up, his throat feeling clogged, unable to speak. He silently lay down, turning his back to Jiang Chengyuan, a stubborn stillness in his posture.
Jiang Chengyuan covered him with a blanket, his fingers lingering on the back of his neck. When he touched the slightly protruding gland, the body under his hand still trembled sensitively. “Are you angry?” Jiang Chengyuan asked softly.
“No.” After a while, Xiao Zhou finally replied.
Jiang Chengyuan sat at the edge of the bed, looking at the back of his head. “Then face me.”
After a while, there was the sound of rustling. Xiao Zhou turned around, pressing a hand against his chest, which somehow had hurt again.
His eyes were a bit red.
Jiang Chengyuan looked at him, then reached out to cover his eyes, “Alright, just sleep like this.”
His vision was blocked, plunging him into darkness. Xiao Zhou didn’t understand why Jiang Chengyuan did this. Jiang Chengyuan often did inexplicable things.
He treated him like a pampered pet, not needing to explain anything, doing as he pleased.
Was Jiang Chengyuan good to him? In a way, yes. But did he have boundaries? Sometimes, Xiao Zhou felt that falling for him in this unequal relationship was his own delusion, a spell he had fallen under.