Pheromone Deficiency Syndrome chapter 46

Stolen Glances

Gu Jinyi also spent a complete summer on Roselle Star.

When he came here, it was only a month into summer, but now it was nearing its end.

During this time, he had been receiving packages from Baidi Star, all containing miscellaneous small items: his custom-made paints, the original edition books he had been searching for, coffee beans he liked to drink, medicine to manage his allergies…

It seemed like someone was afraid he wouldn’t adapt to the things outside, meticulously taking care of everything for him.

These packages would be delivered to his doorstep every few days, with no sender’s name or address, but he knew in his heart that they could only be sent by Xie Huaizhou.

If he were a bit more ruthless, he should have rejected them outright from the first time Xie Huaizhou sent something, and had the delivery returned.

But he stood in front of the garden gate for a long time and still accepted them.

He ground the coffee beans, unpacked the paints, and put the books on the shelf.

Sitting by the window, he drank coffee and drew design sketches, occasionally glancing outside.

Roselle Star had always had many tourists, especially in the summer. The streets were crowded with people, and boats filled the river, their gem-like colors making the usually calm waters exceptionally lively.

Outside Gu Jinyi’s villa, across a not-so-wide street, was the river.

Sometimes, he would look at the crowded river and wonder if Xie Huaizhou was hidden among them.

He knew Xie Huaizhou very well; this person always listened but only halfway.

He warned Xie Huaizhou not to come find him, so Xie Huaizhou wouldn’t appear on his own, but he couldn’t be sure. Would Xie Huaizhou pretend to be a stranger tourist and show up on Roselle Star, outside his house?

Just like when he was at Lande Academy and G6 Star.

Gu Jinyi stopped his hand, and his silhouette fell on the window sill, looking a bit lonely.

But after being lost in thought for a while, he found that it was already nine o’clock.

He had agreed to meet Qu Xi that day to watch the simulation match and have lunch together at noon.

He put down his work and called Chu Xiaonian to get up, wash, eat, and sent him to the old professor’s house for class before leaving.

After arriving at Lande Academy, he didn’t go straight to find Qu Xi, but went to Tao Tao’s place first.

He heard from Qu Xi that Tao Tao’s parts were deteriorating faster and faster, with multiple functions in chaos, and perhaps wouldn’t last much longer.

But when he arrived, this youthful-looking little robot was still the same as before, with soft golden hair, red lips, and white teeth, either making smoothies or sunbathing.

He bought a caramel cream smoothie, and when paying, he gave Tao Tao a few new gemstone cards. Tao Tao accepted them happily and added some syrup for him.

Gu Jinyi then carried the large smoothie and went to Qu Xi’s office, where they shared it together.

Qu Xi didn’t have classes in the afternoon that day, and because she had been busy recently, she and Gu Jinyi hadn’t seen each other for seven or eight days. They chatted aimlessly while drinking smoothies. Outside the window, the greenery was lush, and the sounds of insects were constant, making it quiet and serene.

Qu Xi was no longer interested in introducing potential partners to Gu Jinyi.

Because Gu Jinyi often came to find him, the single alphas in the adjacent offices were all a bit eager, but she didn’t even bother to mention it to Gu Jinyi, let alone set up a meeting.

She dug into her smoothie, glanced at the wrist revealed by Gu Jinyi’s cuff, slender, fair, and empty, hanging a wristwatch that was never there.

Although Gu Jinyi’s spirits were still good these days, and he often smiled, she always felt that he had lost some weight since he first came to Roselle Star.

She sighed inwardly, feeling a mixture of emotions she couldn’t describe, but still smiled at Gu Jinyi and said, “Let’s go, it’s time for dinner.”

They spent the whole day outside.

Chu Xiaonian sent a video halfway through, saying he would stay overnight at the old professor’s house and play with the old professor’s grandson. Gu Jinyi thought for a moment, although he felt a little embarrassed, but the old professor kept urging him with joy, so he agreed.

Since there was no need to pick up Chu Xiaonian, they had dinner outside again. The two of them watched a performance of a water opera for tourists and then walked back leisurely along the path.

Gu Jinyi talked to Qu Xi somewhat absentmindedly, but his mood was a bit low.

He remembered Chu Miyun.

When Chu Miyun was still around, the three of them sneaked out of school like this, drinking and watching plays, returning only after curfew, climbing over the wall one by one. They were almost caught by the security guards several times.

Now, Gu Jinyi and Qu Xi would never have curfews again, but as they walked leisurely along the riverbank, Chu Miyun would never be there to urge them forward.

Thinking of this, Gu Jinyi blinked his eyes lightly, feeling a slight sourness in his eyes.

He whispered to Qu Xi, “Do you think Xiaonian will look a lot like Miyun when he grows up?”

He said this with a smile, as if he had already seen what Xiaonian would look like in the future.

Qu Xi thought for a moment and smiled too.

“He probably will. His eyes and eyebrows are like Miyun’s, very beautiful, but his lips are not like hers,” Qu Xi said, “His lips and features should resemble his father’s.”

As she said this, both of them were momentarily stunned.

In fact, they still didn’t know who Xiaonian’s biological father was.

Chu Miyun had only said back then that the child’s father had passed away, without mentioning his name or identity.

Gu Jinyi and Qu Xi believed it at the time and didn’t dare to ask for details.

But after many years, both of them had some doubts. Perhaps Chu Miyun hadn’t told the truth.

Because they had never seen a photo of Xiaonian’s father, this person seemed to have evaporated from Chu Miyun’s heart after his death, never mentioned again.

This was not at all like Chu Miyun’s style.

But Gu Jinyi and Qu Xi didn’t dare to ask, pretending not to know for so many years.

Now that Chu Miyun was gone, they might never know who Xiaonian’s father was.

Qu Xi kicked a small stone on the road. She was the only one among the three who had never been in love, but after witnessing the bone-deep love from Chu Miyun and Gu Jinyi to their partners, she felt that being single for a lifetime was not a bad thing.

She couldn’t even say who she felt more sorry for between Gu Jinyi and Chu Miyun.

But Chu Miyun was gone now, and all the past had disappeared like smoke, but Gu Jinyi still had a long life ahead of him, with many years left to live.

This made her always feel inexplicably sad.

The two of them walked very slowly, but the road was not long to begin with, and Gu Jinyi reached the door of his house first.

He asked Qu Xi if she wanted to come in and sit for a while, but Qu Xi shook her head. “No, I’ll just go straight back.”

Gu Jinyi didn’t insist either, and lowered his head to scan his fingerprints.

But when the garden gate opened, he heard Qu Xi asking him softly from behind, “Jinyi, what are your plans for the future?”

Gu Jinyi didn’t understand and turned back somewhat puzzled.

“What plans?” he asked.

Qu Xi bit her lip. “Are you going to stay on Roselle Star forever… aren’t you leaving?”

Gu Jinyi was stunned.

He hadn’t expected Qu Xi to ask this.

But he smiled lightly, avoiding the heavy topic. “What’s wrong? Are you tired of me and don’t want me to stay here anymore?”

But Qu Xi didn’t smile.

Of course, that wasn’t what she meant. She just felt that life on Roselle Star wasn’t what Gu Jinyi wanted.

Roselle Star might give Gu Jinyi a temporary respite, but it wasn’t what he truly desired.

They spent the whole day outside that day, but Gu Jinyi was only accompanying her and didn’t really want to come out.

But she didn’t ask any further when she saw Gu Jinyi avoiding her gaze. Instead, she handed him the snacks she had just bought.

“You can stay for as long as you want,” she muttered, “But remember to give some snacks to Chu Xiaonian, don’t hog them all for yourself.”

Then she took a few steps back, walked down the steps, and waved to him. “I’m leaving.”

She left under the moonlight.

Gu Jinyi watched her leave before reopening the garden’s gate and walking in.

But before he entered the garden, he glanced outside and, whether it was his imagination or not, he always felt like someone was watching him.

But when he turned around, the street was deserted. The flower shop across the street had already closed, the curtains of the French windows were drawn, and all he could see behind them were the sparse shadows of trees.

He thought about it and felt he was being too sensitive.

Once he entered the foyer, he changed into his home clothes and didn’t linger downstairs, going straight to wash up and sleep.

But before he fell asleep, he remembered Qu Xi’s question and the look in her eyes.

Qu Xi’s voice was soft, filled with unwillingness.

He knew Qu Xi was asking him if he wanted to leave Roselle Star.

For Qu Xi, this was probably the hardest question of her life.

Because she knew exactly where he would go if he left Roselle Star.

But she still asked, just because she sensed that he might not be that happy.

Gu Jinyi thought, although his love life had been rocky, his luck with friends had always been good.

He lay on the bed, touched his fingers, empty, without a wedding ring.

He didn’t answer Qu Xi’s question.

But in that instant, the face of Xie Huaizhou flashed through his mind, the day they parted.

The lights in Gu Jinyi’s villa went out, but the street lights outside were still on, illuminating the deserted street.

In the flower shop on the street, behind the sparse shadows of trees, two figures had been sitting there all afternoon, hidden in the darkness, unseen from outside.

It was Xie Huaizhou and Xie Ke, who shouldn’t have been here.

Xie Huaizhou had been sitting here all afternoon, but Gu Jinyi hadn’t returned.

Now he finally saw Gu Jinyi, but it was brief, like a fleeting moment. He could only see the lights in the villa turning on and off.

He recalled Gu Jinyi’s figure passing by the street earlier, his fingers resting on the edge of the coffee cup, tapping.

“He seems… not very happy,” Xie Huaizhou said, as if asking and talking to himself at the same time.

Xie Ke sat opposite him, not daring to respond to this sentence.

How could he tell if Gu Jinyi was happy or not?

He had been sitting here with Xie Huaizhou all afternoon.

The owner of this flower shop was from the Xie family, a cute round-faced girl who looked no different from other shopkeepers, but could easily knock down three alphas with ease.

When Xie Ke first learned about this, he thought his cousin was having another episode and wanted to do something to Gu Jinyi.

But now he realized that his cousin had someone open this flower shop just to hide inside and watch Gu Jinyi from afar.

Thinking about it, he felt sorry for his cousin.

Waiting for Gu Jinyi all day, not daring to show himself, and even if he did, he could only glance at him from afar, behind the flowers and trees.

Who would believe that this was the head of the Xie family?

He pondered carefully, cautiously saying to Xie Huaizhou, “If you think Gu Jinyi is not living well here, just go and bring him back. If he refuses, apologize more and pester him.”

He thought for a moment and added, “It’s been over two months now. Gu Jinyi should have calmed down.”

Calm down?

When Xie Huaizhou heard these words, his lips curled sarcastically.

“He has never been angry. How can he calm down?” Xie Huaizhou said softly, “Even when he said he hated me, it was fake.”

He knew Gu Jinyi very well, knew that he was always soft-hearted, loyal to someone once he liked them, and couldn’t even learn to retaliate.

He deserved better but refused to let go.

“He just… seeing me causes him pain,” Xie Huaizhou finished, lowering his eyes and taking a sip of coffee, the same kind he often drank with Gu Jinyi, with its gentle floral and fruity aroma.

Xie Ke didn’t understand. From his simple understanding, if there was neither anger nor hatred, then why weren’t they together?

But he didn’t dare say anything, only melancholically playing with a small silver spoon.

Meanwhile, Xie Huaizhou continued to gaze out the window.

This was his first time on Roselle Star in months. He was well aware of his own greed; he could restrain himself when he didn’t see Gu Jinyi, but once he did, it was like a wildfire burning.

And now that he had seen him, even just for a brief moment, it had almost shattered the rationality he had held onto for months.

He stared at the window of Gu Jinyi’s bedroom. After the curtains were drawn, nothing could be seen.

But he knew his lover was behind that curtain.

He softly asked Xie Ke, “It’s been over two months, hasn’t it? Quite a long time.”

Xie Ke was vague but still nodded.

Xie Huaizhou didn’t speak again, just turned the ring on his finger.

He wore two rings: one was his wedding ring with Gu Jinyi, and the other was the signet ring symbolizing his position as the head of the family.

He had taken the latter from Xie Yuncheng’s hands, snatching it himself.

He didn’t know how much blood the Xie family’s signet ring had on it, but once it was cleaned, it looked as good as new.

Before coming to Roselle Star, he had visited a mental hospital in the suburbs of Baidi Star, where his biological father, Xie Yuncheng, was held.

When Xie Yuncheng was defeated, Xie Huaizhou had him locked up, publicly claiming he was recuperating.

He had never been a kind person, not even to his biological father. Xie Yuncheng might not have been insane when he came in, but he was definitely one now.

And as he observed Xie Yuncheng through the thick glass, he felt neither pity nor satisfaction, just indifference and calmness, as if the person on the other side of the glass was a stranger with no relevance to him, alive or dead.

His mother had always taught him about tolerance and gentleness, but it hadn’t left much of a mark on him.

But the Xie family’s paranoia and ruthlessness were deeply ingrained in him.

He felt a little guilty about it because he had disappointed his mother’s expectations.

But he couldn’t change.

He was just that kind of person: not good, but still hoping others would love him.