Pheromone Deficiency Syndrome chapter 45

Reluctance

Gu Jinyi stood at the door for a while, until he could no longer see the figure of the golden-haired little robot. Then, he slowly walked along the waterside path, heading in another direction.

It was summer now, and although the Lande Academy was on the water, it was lush with flowers and trees. The green branches hung over the water, and solitary white flowers fell on it.

A girl in a white school uniform skirt passed by Gu Jinyi’s side. It Was almost graduation season again, and they were discussing where to travel for graduation. Gu Jinyi smiled faintly upon hearing this. In the year of his graduation, he traveled with Chu Miyun and Qu Xi to a place called Extreme Cold Star. They were shivering so much from the cold that they swore never to set foot there again.

Now, it’s been several years since his graduation, and returning to Lande Academy was just a passing visit for him. It took him over twenty minutes to reach the “Graduation Memorial Forest” of Lande Academy—a cluster of giant rocks submerged in water, forming a scenic park. Each generation of Lande graduates would use special pigments to write their messages on the rocks. They might not be particularly aesthetically pleasing, but every Lande student loved them.

Gu Jinyi remembered that the address of their design institute should be to the east. He followed the stepping stones on the water to the east side. Looking around, he saw the dense and colorful messages on the giant rocks, scattered without any order. Even he couldn’t find the handwriting he left behind years ago.

But Xie Huaizhou found his among the countless messages. Knowing that he regretted missing the Golden Waterfall, Xie Huaizhou prepared a date for him there. Then, in front of the Golden Waterfall, he confessed his love to Gu Jinyi.

Gu Jinyi stood in the giant rock forest for a while, the setting sun shining on his face, making his contours appear exceptionally gentle.

Just now, he accompanied Tao Tao for a while. Although they didn’t speak much, a sense of sadness kept welling up from the depths of his heart.

He didn’t know that this little robot making ice cream and smoothies at school had been waiting for his owner to come home all this time. He used to think that Tao Tao was really carefree, just like he appeared on the surface.

Now he knew better and couldn’t help but wonder what mindset Tao Tao had maintained for these fifty years.

He waited for Xie Huaizhou for six years, feeling like he was in hell.

And how did Tao Tao withstand the test of these fifty years?

Tao Tao would never see Albert again, but Xie Huaizhou was still in this world. He was just a reach away.

Gu Jinyi didn’t linger at Lande Academy for too long. Chu Xiaonian was still waiting for him.

He went to the old professor’s place to pick up Chu Xiaonian and take him home, giving Chu Xiaonian the jigsaw puzzle he bought for him.

Chu Xiaonian had been waiting for this puzzle for a long time, his eyes shining brightly. He hugged it and didn’t want to let go. Even during dinner, his mind was elsewhere, holding the bowl while his eyes kept drifting to the sofa.

Gu Jinyi chuckled and let Chu Xiaonian unpack the puzzle after dinner.

They played until after nine o’clock, and Chu Xiaonian only managed to complete half of it, his eyes still sparkling, unwilling to sleep.

Gu Jinyi carried him back to his room and coaxed him for a while before Chu Xiaonian slowly fell asleep.

And when he came out of Chu Xiaonian’s room, the whole house seemed to quiet down.

Before, when he was with Chu Xiaonian, there were always soft children’s voices and laughter in the house, and animations Chu Xiaonian liked were playing on the screen. But now, those voices were gone, and only a few dim lights remained in the living room, faintly illuminating the flowers that were about to wither. The villa suddenly became desolate. Despite being in the bustling city, it felt distant, as if secluded from the world in a mountain.

Gu Jinyi came down from the stairs, pushed open the door, and sat in the garden.

There was a swing in his garden, made of wood, gently swaying when he sat on it, and even its shadow swayed along.

When he was a child, he lived with his mother in the suburbs, and there was also a small swing in the white house.

Gu Jinyi sat on the swing for a while, not knowing what he was thinking, until he heard a noise in the distance and gently raised his eyes.

In the thick ink-like night, from a far-off place, several fireworks burst open, with silver as the main color, forming a landscape painting in the sky.

Gu Jinyi looked up, and the evening breeze lifted his bangs.

Because the distance was too far, the fireworks appeared very small in his eyes, and he could only see their bright outlines.

He remembered that before leaving Baidi Star, Xie Huaizhou had gone to the amusement park with him once where they watched a grand fireworks display together.

He also got lost, but in just a few seconds, Xie Huaizhou easily found him.

He still remembered the day Xie Huaizhou kissed him, the taste of ice cream sweetness between their lips.

In fact, he knew Xie Huaizhou’s identity at that time.

He knew that the alpha loving him nearly perfectly in front of him was the person who had left him without hesitation years ago.

But when he heard Xie Huaizhou say “let’s go home, kid,” he couldn’t help but soften.

People say you learn from your mistakes.

But he thought, he had already made one mistake, what difference would another make?

But he didn’t expect that, in the end, it was Xie Huaizhou who wouldn’t let him escape, it was Xie Huaizhou who forced him to see who he really was.

Gu Jinyi also chuckled self-mockingly.

The fireworks in the night sky had already fallen, and the streets outside the garden were quiet, with dim lights and occasional passersby.

He lowered his head and opened his Ipad.

He checked all the messages from Xie Huaizhou.

He had been on Roselle Star for 32 days, accumulating 32 messages.

He went through them one by one. Xie Huaizhou didn’t disturb him too much, even pretended to be calm and sent him some trivial daily matters, asked him if he was feeling well, showed him that the potted plant he left at the Xie’s house was blooming, and told him that Shang Yin had come to find Chu Xiaonian but couldn’t find him, making him cry.

It was as if they hadn’t broken up yet, and he was just out for a walk, bound to return someday.

But behind each of these messages, Xie Huaizhou would casually add, “I miss you very much.”

A total of thirty-two messages lay on the light screen, not filled with thrilling love words or romantic sentimentality.

But Gu Jinyi blinked, a tear fell from his eye and landed on the screen.

When he was waiting for Fu Chen in the sanatorium, when he was praying for Fu Chen to visit him in the hospital, the most he said was this sentence.

“I miss you so much.”

In fact, a year after his surgery, when his body had almost recovered, Chu Miyun had cautiously asked him if he wanted to undergo “memory closure” therapy.

This was a somewhat secretive treatment that could completely close unwanted memories in the brain, like cutting off an unnecessary part.

This treatment was not dangerous, nor would it burden Gu Jinyi’s body.

It’s just that there were some ethical controversies, so few hospitals could perform it.

But Chu Miyun happened to have such a channel.

He knew that Chu Miyun didn’t want him to suffer because of Fu Chen anymore.

He had also tossed and turned at night, wondering whether he should abandon this past, it was his life, his love, and he had the right to let it go.

But when he really got to the hospital and had to communicate with the doctor, he fled in despair.

He couldn’t bear it.

Even though this person made him so miserable, even though this relationship almost cost him his life, he still couldn’t bear to let it go.

Because memories of Fu Chen were the only connection he had with this person.

Gu Jinyi closed his eyes, leaning on the swing, his shadow solidified on the ground, motionless.

He remembered when he was studying at Lande, he had heard that the current principal had considered replacing Mr. Albert to take care of Tao Tao.

But he was rejected by Tao Tao.

Because for Tao Tao, no one else was his Albert.

And what’s the difference between him and Tao Tao?

He spent the whole day feeling sad for Tao Tao, just like objects of the same kind feel for each other.

But he was also a tamed fox, even if he left Xie Huaizhou, he wouldn’t go home with anyone else.

He could only choose to return to Xie Huaizhou’s side or drift alone in the universe like this.