Let Me Meet You chapter 19

 I Like Men (Part 2)

Li Xuan strode out to the car, his face dark. He slammed the door shut with such force that both Yang Xu and the driver jumped.

The driver, assigned by the company, had driven Sheng Min around many times and knew him to be mild-mannered. Seeing his face like this was unheard of, and he had no idea what was going on. He glanced questioningly at Yang Xu.

Yang Xu, thinking he knew the reason but too afraid to say it, shook his head quickly. Li Xuan sat in the back seat with a brooding expression, not acknowledging their glances or saying a word. The driver, feeling the tense atmosphere, made an excuse to use the restroom and quickly got out of the car.

“Ge,” Yang Xu asked tentatively, “um… where’s Li Xuan? Did you two have a fight?”

Li Xuan glared at him, and Yang Xu felt as though he’d been scalded by the stare. He hesitated, fishing for words: “So, are we leaving now? Or should we wait for him?”

“The driver was here, and you didn’t ask him. Now he’s gone, and you suddenly remember? Why don’t you drive?” Li Xuan’s face was expressionless.

Yang Xu opened his mouth but couldn’t think of a retort, and Li Xuan had already turned away.

His mind was both troubled and annoyed. How could Sheng Min possibly be gay?

Li Xuan scowled out the window at the dimly lit parking lot, which reminded him of a dark memory from his teenage years. Even after all these years, the thought of it still made him feel sick.

He grabbed a water bottle from the side of the car, unscrewed the cap, and took a large gulp, forcing down the urge to vomit.

“It’s different,” Li Xuan thought, frowning, “Sheng Min is different; this is an entirely different matter.” Yet, he still couldn’t understand why a man would be attracted to another man.

He was genuinely surprised, though, upon further reflection, he realized there had been signs. On the first day, Sheng Min said, “It’s fine if you’re okay with it,” before taking a shower. Zhang Zhihua’s odd attitude when he saw him at Sheng Min’s house, and Sheng Min’s inexplicable stiffness and awkwardness whenever he got a little closer… There were plenty of clues, but he had rarely noticed them and had never thought along those lines before.

Li Xuan ran a frustrated hand through his hair, forgetting about the hair gel that had just been applied, making his hand sticky. He grabbed a tissue to wipe it off and checked his watch; almost fifteen minutes had passed, and Sheng Min still hadn’t shown up. His irritation grew, and he slapped the backrest of the front passenger seat.

“Ge.” Yang Xu, who had been pretending to play on his phone, flinched in surprise, dropping his phone under the seat. “Ge, what are you doing?”

“Go call him,” Li Xuan muttered.

“Call who?” Yang Xu bent down to retrieve his phone, finally finding it after a while. “Old Liu?”

Li Xuan frowned. “Who’s Old Liu?”

Yang Xu looked puzzled. “The driver…”

Li Xuan looked at him in exasperation. Yang Xu realized, “Oh, you mean Li Xuan… Ge, should I really go call him?”

Li Xuan glared at him and reached for the door handle. “I’ll go!”

“No, I’ll go, I’ll go! I didn’t say I wouldn’t go!” Yang Xu hurriedly stopped him, scrambled out of the car, and muttered under his breath before rushing off, “Ge, you’ve really got a temper today…” 

In the dressing room, Sheng Min sat quietly, occasionally hearing footsteps outside that soon faded. The sky outside was growing darker; the room faced west, and the sunset cast fragmented rays across the mirror, creating a harsh light that he found slightly piercing. He buried his face in his arms.

He didn’t feel particularly sad or embarrassed.

Since realizing he only felt attracted to the same sex, these two emotions had lingered around him for many years. But after hearing Yang Xu talking to Li Xuan at the door, Sheng Min had, after a brief moment of mental blankness, surprisingly found himself calm, unexpectedly so.

He could have walked away. Although Li Xuan’s temper was sometimes bad, he wasn’t an impulsive person. If he pretended not to know, Li Xuan probably wouldn’t press the issue. But for some reason, Sheng Min didn’t want to hide, even if avoiding conflict had always been his way.

So, he had come in and now didn’t regret it. The only thing he felt was a bit of disappointment. Judging by Li Xuan’s reaction, it seemed unlikely they could remain friends. Although, they had only known each other for a few days; he wasn’t even sure if they counted as friends…

Sheng Min closed his eyes, letting his mind drift, blocking out the sounds outside the door until a hand patted his shoulder and Yang Xu’s startled voice rang in his ear. “Are you crying?!”

“No.” Sheng Min looked up, blinking at the sudden light.

“Hey, don’t cry.” Yang Xu looked anxiously at his face.

“I’m really not crying,” Sheng Min said. “Why are you here?”

Yang Xu looked at him skeptically. “I came to get you.”

“I see.” Sheng Min pulled himself together and stood up. “Then let’s go.”

They walked down the corridor, with Yang Xu following behind, hesitant to speak. Finally, as they reached the elevator, he couldn’t hold back and called out, “Li Xuan.”

Sheng Min turned to see Yang Xu looking deeply troubled.

“What is it?” Sheng Min asked.

“Xuan Ge,” Yang Xu suddenly changed his tone, “did you have a fight with Sheng Ge?”

“No.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Yang Xu exclaimed. “He’s sulking with a face as long as a horse’s, although it’s hard to tell because of his small face. Don’t tell me you two didn’t fight! I didn’t even provoke him, but he’s snapping like a firecracker today.”

Sheng Min pressed the elevator button, unsure how to respond.

Yang Xu was silent for a moment. Once they got into the elevator, he watched the doors close and finally spoke. “Sheng Ge has a hard time. He probably didn’t tell you, so you wouldn’t know.”

Of course, I know, Sheng Min thought, though he didn’t feel it was that difficult. But seeing Yang Xu nearly in tears softened him.

Yang Xu wasn’t the sharpest sometimes, but he had been devoted, working as his assistant for four or five years, even when he was at his lowest.

As Sheng Min was lost in thought, Yang Xu spoke again. “I’m only saying this because he seems to care about you. Otherwise, I wouldn’t bring it up. He even yelled at the manager today and got really mad, like a completely different person.”

He was indeed like a different person, but not in the way Yang Xu thought.

Sheng Min sighed internally and was about to respond when Yang Xu sniffled. “Please don’t fight with him over jealousy about his ex. He won’t bring it up, and I shouldn’t either, but that guy was awful, and Ge has been over him for a long time.”

If Yang Xu hadn’t mentioned it, Sheng Min would have barely remembered that person. Even when they occasionally crossed paths at events, his heart no longer stirred.

Ultimately, there wasn’t much to remember. But for those who knew bits of his past, they would always doubt him. Initially, he hadn’t wanted to explain, and by now, it was too late to clarify.

“Yang Xu,” Sheng Min interrupted gently as Yang Xu grew angrier. “You’ve misunderstood. I… I’m not in the kind of relationship with him that you’re thinking of.”

Yang Xu looked him over, still unconvinced.

“Really. We had a disagreement, but it’s not about feelings, and there’s no romantic involvement between us. I’m staying at his place by coincidence, hard to explain, but please don’t misunderstand.” After a pause, Sheng Min added, “He’s been a bit short-tempered lately, so be cautious in what you say and do. Even if he snaps sometimes, it’s not out of ill will; don’t take it to heart.”

Yang Xu couldn’t understand how, when he intended to comfort Li Xuan, he suddenly found himself being the one consoled. But this gentle, patient manner seemed strangely familiar, and he was at a loss for words.

Just then, the elevator arrived at the basement level. Sheng Min gently pushed Yang Xu’s shoulder. “Let’s go.”