Last Love chapter 65

On the way back home, they didn’t say much.

It couldn’t exactly be called a quarrel or argument. Wen Ke just felt a kind of unexplainable fatigue, and Han Jiangque drove in silence. However, once both of them entered this anxious state, it seemed to naturally form a strange inertia of neither wanting to speak first.

After returning home, Wen Ke felt both physically and mentally exhausted, so he curled up in bed alone.

Although he closed his eyes, he couldn’t sleep at all. His mind was in a mess, and he didn’t even know what he was thinking, lying there in a daze.

Han Jiangque didn’t enter the bedroom until the evening. He gently lifted a corner of Wen Ke’s blanket.

“Wen Ke, want to eat something?”

Wen Ke opened his eyes and saw the Alpha holding a small bowl of soup, sitting at the bedside, watching him.

The room wasn’t lit, and they seemed to be engulfed in a thick and heavy darkness.

Wen Ke sat up, wanting to speak, but his throat was extremely hoarse.

Han Jiangque wrapped an arm around him, scooped a spoonful of soup, blew on it gently, and then fed him.

Wen Ke immediately recognized that it was the white ginkgo pig stomach soup from the Cantonese restaurant he particularly liked. The rich broth sprinkled with a bit of pepper was especially fragrant. Under normal circumstances, he would have loved it.

But today, he really had no appetite. He even felt a bit nauseous smelling the aroma, so after taking a sip, he had to turn his head slightly and push the bowl away.

“I… I can’t eat…”

Wen Ke struggled to speak.

Han Jiangque fell silent for a moment and said softly, “Do you want something else? Shall I buy it for you?”

“I really can’t eat.” Wen Ke shook his head uncomfortably.

“You didn’t eat much for lunch. You must eat something in the evening; otherwise, your stomach will protest.” Han Jiangque paused and his voice became quieter, almost inaudible, “Please eat… okay, Ge.”

Wen Ke looked up, staring blankly at Han Jiangque.

That softly spoken “ge” was more like a plea than a coquetry.

Han Jiangque, with his beautiful black eyes, looked at him without blinking, a mixture of pleading and a hint of helplessness.

Since high school, they had never had a cold war, and even their arguments were rare.

Teenager Han Jiangque had a stubborn temper and spoke directly, but no matter what, Wen Ke always followed behind, trying to appease him. Even if only as friends, he had always been the one actively seeking to please.

But now, they had become the most intimate lovers. The Han Jiangque, who used to be cared for by him so much, now revealed such a cautious demeanor.

Sometimes, it seemed that people only understood the unparalleled power they held over the one they loved the most.

The same situation—Zhuo Yuan could handle it in a hundred ways. He could ignore him, pretend to be indifferent, or leave with indifference. But Han Jiangque had no such means.

Han Jiangque was completely open in front of him.

So, he could absolutely dominate Han Jiangque’s emotions, whether it was heaven or hell, all at his whim.

A certain sour emotion flooded Wen Ke’s heart. He reached out and tightly hugged Han Jiangque, then kissed his forehead repeatedly.

“I’m sorry,” he took a deep breath, pressing his face against Han Jiangque’s chest, “I’m in a bad mood. I don’t know how to describe it… I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He felt really frustrated. Thinking that he had made Han Jiangque upset, he became even more depressed.

Approaching thirty, his career still amounted to nothing.

He wanted to manage his relationship well, to hold Han Jiangque in the palm of his hand for a lifetime. However, in the course of daily life, dealing with these small ups and downs, he still couldn’t handle them smoothly.

“Don’t apologize, Wen Ke..”

Han Jiangque gently stroked his hair, “I just don’t want you to suffer, and I don’t want you in any danger.”

“I know.” Wen Ke nodded and murmured, “Han Jiangque, I’m really confused. I want the last love app to be successful. We’ve come this far, but now we have to stop. I really can’t accept it. For so many years, I rarely persisted in anything for myself. So weak, for ten years, it passed in the blink of an eye. It seemed like I just numbly got through it, but now looking back, it feels terrifying. I regret too much about the past; I’ve always been a person without a self, that’s why I live such a valueless life. If I could have persisted in being myself earlier, would my life be different now?”

Han Jiangque didn’t speak.

At such moments, he deeply felt his own powerlessness and clumsiness. He wanted to understand the pain in Wen Ke’s life, but it seemed beyond his interpretative ability. He couldn’t even come up with a mature word of consolation.

“Han Jiangque, do you… do you ever feel like this? If I say I’m worried about you being in danger, so I don’t want you to box, would you be confused? I know things are completely different, but I just couldn’t think of another example.”

Han Jiangque lowered his head and looked into Wen Ke’s eyes. He remained silent for a moment, and it didn’t seem like hesitation. A trace of dim emotion flickered in his pitch-black eyes, then he calmly said, “Xiao Ke, you’re the first person I fell in love with, and the only person I love. If you say you’re worried, I won’t box anymore. Whether it’s boxing or anything else, my answer is the same.”

“Am I also… a person without a self?”

As he said this, perhaps because he knew the answer himself, he smiled lightly, with a touch of self-mockery and melancholy.

Certainly, he could be considered a person without a self in love.

Not just boxing, he could abandon a decade-long friendship, and much more, all of which made him appear a certain way in the eyes of others.

Wen Ke was suddenly stunned. Clearly, he had raised the question himself, but for a moment, he didn’t know how to respond.

That night, Wen Ke almost stayed up all night.

For the first time, he felt a feeling of not daring to touch his own inner thoughts.

He suddenly wondered if he had really changed over the years.

In high school, he was devoted and single-minded towards Han Jiangque. When facing a group of bullies pressing Han Jiangque down to protect him, he never even thought about the possibility of getting beaten to death.

What exactly was his state of mind at that time?

Thinking about his teenage years, Wen Ke almost had to grit his teeth to hold back tears.

Han Jiangque could still love him to the point of losing himself.

But could he?

The past ten years had changed him.

Although he was only two years older than Han Jiangque, at that moment, he seemed like a middle-aged person who had experienced the vicissitudes of society, looking back wearily at the clear and innocent teenage Han Jiangque.

…

Early the next morning, Fu Xiaoyu brought a pile of documents.

Han Jiangque obviously wanted Wen Ke to rest, but he didn’t want to argue with Wen Ke again, so he didn’t say much. Instead, he went downstairs to buy breakfast for them.

Fu Xiaoyu, who always focused all his attention on work, didn’t pay much attention to the fact that Wen Ke and Han Jiangque were not in a good mood. He immediately started practicing the presentation draft for the upcoming meeting with Blue Rain.

“No, it’s not working.”

“Your tone and expression are too hesitant. You need to convince the other party that your proposal is valuable. Be assertive and confident.”

“Let’s try it again. Still not working.”

Wen Ke was obviously not in good shape, and Fu Xiaoyu interrupted him several times in the first half.

“Wen Ke, what’s going on with you today?”

Fu Xiaoyu’s expression became somewhat stern.

The formal meeting was just five days away, and time was relatively tight. He had high expectations for all the projects he handled, and Wen Ke’s performance was clearly unsatisfactory.

“I…”

Wen Ke hesitated, placing the documents on the table, and then spoke softly, “Fu Xiaoyu, can we talk on the balcony?”