Last Love chapter 20
“I liked you too.”
Han Jiangque’s pitch-black eyes stared straight at him, a hint of pain vaguely concealed in his eyes. “I didn’t dislike you, Wen Ke. I fell in love with you ten years ago.”
Wen Ke stared blankly at the painting in his hand. “You…”
“So, back then, were you coming to find me?”
He even suddenly trembled. Although he didn’t finish the sentence, suddenly it became clear to him—
The boy, never good with words, had drawn an ugly giraffe portrait for him. Then, he had the boy in the picture tie a heart-shaped bow around the giraffe’s neck.
This was the confession of sixteen-year-old Han Jiangque.
“I wanted to spend your first heat with you.”
Han Jiangque looked at Wen Ke, took a step forward, then awkwardly halted his steps, continuing to explain. “The day after receiving the report, you didn’t come to school—I was in turmoil. Wen Ke, at that time, I really didn’t want you to be an Omega. I kept thinking, how could you be an Omega? I also wondered, what should I do if you really are an Omega. I didn’t pay attention in class that whole day. I repeatedly took your report out of my desk, looked at it, and put it back, but the result didn’t change.”
“Later, I thought, there’s nothing I can do. Whether you’re a Beta or an Omega, even if you’re an Alpha, I don’t want to lose you.”
“And then…?”
Wen Ke felt like he could almost hear his own heartbeat, nervously watching Han Jiangque.
“Wen Ke, I know I hurt you at the hospital.”
He reached out, but ultimately only weakly grabbed the doorknob. He lowered his head. “But I didn’t know how to talk to you about it. That day, I rushed home to draw a picture to apologize. My mind was full of that incident. After school, I was called out by the head teacher for a lecture, and I forgot about the report under my desk. When I came back to class, everyone knew about you being an E-rank Omega. It spread too much, and I couldn’t find out who first peeked at the report and leaked it. I’m sorry—it’s my fault, Wen Ke. I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry…”
Wen Ke’s nose suddenly felt intensely sour.
Of course, he believed that Han Jiangque wouldn’t intentionally hurt him or share the report with others.
However—
“Han Jiangque, why didn’t you clarify all this with me ten years ago?”
Wen Ke asked with a trembling voice.
“You blocked me.”
Han Jiangque’s voice was low. “I felt like you didn’t trust me at all. I was angry and sad. Wen Ke, at that time, I didn’t know how to face these emotions. I would get angry with you one moment and miss you the next. But when your heat was approaching, I couldn’t hold back anymore, so I finished that painting and went to find you. I thought… we could reconcile, or even be better than before. I never expected that, in the end, it would turn out like this.”
Wen Ke stared blankly at the spot of light on the floor of the elevator hall.
Yes, he never expected it to end up like this.
He knew how forgetful Han Jiangque could be, but that was just a small annoyance in life. He never imagined that this minor annoyance would lead to others seeing his medical examination report and causing him to misunderstand Han Jiangque.
At the crossroads of his life at the age of eighteen, he made many wrong judgments and choices, and so did Han Jiangque.
Some decisions were made out of defiance, some out of sensitivity, and some out of anger.
At that time, these seemed like insignificant decisions influenced by the hidden and immature emotions and concerns of adolescents.
However, these small decisions, each time they passed each other in the corridors of Beisan High School, led to cold wars and eventually drove them in opposite directions, resulting in an irreparable ten-year separation.
“Wen Ke…”
Han Jiangque spoke softly. “Can you forgive me?”
“Han Jiangque, I don’t blame you.”
Wen Ke felt tears welling up, forcing himself to widen his eyes, holding back the tears. “Really.”
Wen Ke imagined the feelings of that sixteen-year-old boy standing at his door, holding this painting, wanting to spend his first heat with him.
However, his door opened, and it was Zhuo Yuan standing in front of him—
The room was filled with the scent of pheromones, evidence of their intertwining during Omega’s heat after being temporarily marked.
Han Jiangque must have been heartbroken when he left Wen Ke’s home.
The timeline of their senior year seemed to gradually become clear. Han Jiangque knew he had been marked by Zhuo Yuan, so when he later told Han Jiangque about being with Zhuo Yuan, Han Jiangque just coldly said, “It’s none of my business.”
Han Jiangque was a proud person, and after that defeat, he never came to find Wen Ke again.
So, the words that were left unspoken, they never had the chance to say to each other again.
So, how could he blame him?
The events of ten years ago were a series of unfortunate accidents mixed together.
Han Jiangque did nothing wrong, and neither did he, yet they deeply hurt each other in this way.
Time has passed, and blaming and accusing each other now would be futile.
If there is some force beyond human control, perhaps that is destiny.
Destiny separated them, throwing them into different life trajectories.
Actually, if he could choose, he would rather not know that Han Jiangque had liked him.
Because he almost dared not think about how Han Jiangque had spent these ten years.
Did Han Jiangque miss him when he went abroad? Did he miss him every time he checked the weather forecast in B City?
Thinking about these things was almost unbearable for him. It felt as if someone had pounded a nail deep into his heart, and dark red blood slowly flowed out.
“It’s all in the past…”
Wen Ke lifted his head, his expression almost numb. “Han Jiangque, it’s okay.”
Perhaps seeing something wrong from his expression of numbness, Han Jiangque suddenly reached out and grabbed his wrist, breathing heavily. “Wen Ke, you’ve already chosen to divorce Zhuo Yuan. We can be together now. I’ll be with you, for this heat and the ones in the future. I’ll be with you—I don’t dislike Omegas anymore, trust me.”
Wen Ke stared at Han Jiangque in astonishment.
Han Jiangque’s pheromones were so pleasant, and his appearance was handsome enough to be the dream lover of any Omega.
He was perfect.
At this moment, Wen Ke just wanted to hide, to burrow into the ground like a gray mouse.
He forcefully pulled back his wrist, muttering, “Han Jiangque, I don’t want to be with you. The Wen Ke who liked you before, that was ten years ago. We should look forward and not dwell on the past. No one can make up for what happened.”
“You really don’t like me anymore.”
Han Jiangque repeated Wen Ke’s words.
For a moment, Wen Ke thought he was about to cry.
But the next second, he saw those pitch-black eyes staring at him with stubborn determination.
“In that case, you don’t have to like me,” Han Jiangque insisted. “I like you, and I don’t care if you respond or not. I’m LM’s consultant. Just consider it as you being my client. We can sign a contract, three months, six months, however long you want. Wen Ke… give me a chance, okay? The past can be made up for. I can make it up, really.”
As he spoke, it seemed like he knew he was making a desperate gamble, and the despair in his eyes grew stronger.
Han Jiangque had grown up, had grown taller.
But the despondent look on his head was far from the confident and proud demeanor of his youth.
Wen Ke almost felt his heart shattering.
How could he bear to see the once proud young man standing in front of him, so low and humble, begging him like this, even if it was just to serve him, just to stay by his side?
Wen Ke felt his heart breaking.
He endured it until now, but he didn’t expect to break down at this moment.
Before the tears could burst forth, he said in a hoarse voice, “Don’t be like this, Han Jiangque, please don’t…”
He forcefully pulled the door handle inward, shaking his head desperately. “I beg you, let me go. We’ve said everything that needs to be said. I’m going back, let’s not delay each other anymore.”
A loud “bang.”
The door closed, cutting off Han Jiangque from the outside. Finally, he didn’t have to face all of this anymore.
Wen Ke, like a gray mouse retreating into its hole, breathed a sigh of relief. However, as the breath slowly escaped, it felt like something was missing from his heart, leaving it empty.
Leaning against the wall, he slowly sat down on the floor along the wall.
Sunlight streamed into the living room, casting his shadow as a small huddled figure in the corner.
…
After an unknown amount of time, he suddenly remembered something. As if going mad, he rushed into the study, which he had just tidied up yesterday. He accurately pulled out an old A4 folder from the bottom drawer.
It had gathered a thin layer of dust, and he didn’t have time to wipe it properly during yesterday’s cleaning.
For ten years, he had hardly opened this folder, but he always kept it with him.
From that small northern town to B City, and to the new home with Zhuo Yuan.
In his bleak life, this was the only thing he couldn’t let go of.
He never deliberately thought about it, but he always remembered exactly where he had placed it.
His fingers trembled as he gently stroked the surface of the folder, as if breathing in a hint of the vicissitudes it carried from the past.
Finally, he took a deep breath and opened the folder—
Inside was a sheet of drawing paper.
Due to the long period of time, the once pristine white paper had gradually faded into a dark and worn yellow.
The crayon strokes on it were also a bit mottled, but you could still clearly see what was drawn—
It was a gloomy rainy day.
A tall, ugly giraffe bit into a huge dark cloud, gently shielding the little boy on the ground from the small raindrops.
As Wen Ke looked at it, he suddenly couldn’t help but laugh, placing the two drawings side by side.
Even though he was clearly laughing, tears involuntarily dripped onto the drawing paper. He hurriedly wiped them away with his fingers, laughing and crying at the same time, a comical sight.
Silly Han Jiangque.
The boy who could never apologize, those shy words could only be expressed through these ugly drawings.
So, throughout high school, Han Jiangque drew two pictures for him, and that was all.
One quietly hid in the folder he never opened, and the other remained sadly in Han Jiangque’s hands.
After ten years, the two drawings finally met.
But the ugly giraffe and the little boy were no longer the same as they were ten years ago.
He didn’t know what was wrong with him.
In his dark and meager life, catching a glimpse of long-standing affection was so rare. He should open his arms and embrace it. However, he chose to hurriedly escape.
Perhaps it was like what Dazai Osamu wrote: “Cowards are even afraid of happiness, getting hurt by touching cotton, and sometimes getting hurt by happiness itself.”
…