I Only Want You chapter 57
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Yang Xiaole and Bian Xianyang had been a bit unhappy recently—or perhaps it couldn’t be described as recently, because the issue had always existed.
When Yang Xiaole was in graduate school, he was very busy with his studies. Unlike Yan Lan, who could apply to live with his partner, Yang Xiaole didn’t have many opportunities to see his boyfriend. His boyfriend was a popular lead singer of a band, and even though they were in a relationship, Yang Xiaole didn’t get to see him often.
Unlike when they first met, Bian Xianyang’s popularity has soared, leading to an increasingly tight schedule. It was common for him to be so busy that he couldn’t return home for one or two weeks.
Especially when Yang Xiaole was in his third year of graduate school, Bian Xianyang, under the company’s arrangements, started taking on scripts for filming. Often, once he joined a production, he would be absent for one or two months, not even having time to go home.
At that time, Yang Xiaole could fully understand Bian Xianyang because he himself was busy. When busy, time flew by, and the idea of not seeing each other for one or two months didn’t seem important.
However, later, after Yang Xiaole graduated and started working, he moved to Bian Xianyang’s house immediately after graduation to live with him. Still, there were times when they couldn’t see each other for one or two months, relying on video calls via WeChat to catch a glimpse of each other’s faces. This situation became unbearable for Yang Xiaole.
He was not someone who could get used to loneliness, and he couldn’t adapt to the infrequent meetings with Bian Xianyang. However, every time he saw Bian Xianyang’s tired face during a video call, he would temporarily understand the challenges of their situation.
Bian Xianyang was already exhausted, so he had to endure it. He comforted himself by rounding it off as a long-distance relationship, telling himself that Bian Xianyang’s profession was special, and there was no other choice. Bian Xianyang himself didn’t want it this way.
But no matter how much one endures, there will always be a day when it becomes unbearable. Yang Xiaole was well aware of this, and what would happen when he could no longer endure it was clear to him, but he dared not dwell on it.
“Ah, sisters, look at Yangyang’s new drama look!”
The sudden excitement of colleagues around caught Yang Xiaole’s attention. Turning his head, he saw four or five of them gathered around someone’s desk, excitedly discussing something on the computer screen.
“This look is really good, I never thought he, a singer, would act in a drama without any awkwardness.”
“Yeah, yeah! As his fan, I’m pleasantly surprised! I was worried when he first acted, thinking he would be criticized, but the drama has a good response, and many people praise him!”
Yang Xiaole nonchalantly listened, hearing them praise Bian Xianyang and silently gave a thumbs up in his heart.
He left work at five, passed by a convenience store on his way home, bought some salad and yogurt for dinner.
His cooking skills had improved a lot in the past two years. He could cook challenging dishes, but eating alone wasn’t something he enjoyed. He didn’t want to bother with buying groceries, cooking, and washing dishes. He just wanted to eat something quickly.
The security guard in the community was familiar with him. Seeing him come back from work with a convenience store bag, the guard teased him, “Eating from the convenience store again? Buy some noodles, cook them, and stir-fry with tomatoes and eggs. It’s better than anything and cheaper.”
Yang Xiaole chuckled, “I’m just too lazy to cook.”
“Not much trouble.”
“Washing pots and dishes is also troublesome!” Yang Xiaole said, taking out two large red apples from his backpack and handing them to the guard. “I plucked these from the company. They’re quite sweet. I took three, give you two, I can’t finish the extras, afraid they’ll go bad.”
“Wow, these apples look sweet!”
“Indeed, they’re big too.”
After giving the apples to the security guard, Yang Xiaole shouldered his bag and headed towards Building A. When he reached his doorstep, he found that the double-locked door was now only locked once, and the key turned only halfway before the door opened.
Yang Xiaole stared at the door lock for a moment, then pushed the door open and saw a pair of shoes in the entrance.
Bian Xianyang was back!
“Yangyang!”
Yang Xiaole couldn’t wait and shouted, joyfully kicked off his shoes, and dropped his backpack and the bag on the entrance floor. Without even changing into indoor shoes, he ran into the room wearing socks.
The person from the master bedroom heard the sound and walked out, opening his arms to catch the person flying into his arms. Tipping his head, he kissed the person’s ear, “If you didn’t come back, I was going to grab you from your company.”
Both of Yang Xiaole’s feet were firmly wrapped around his legs, and his eyes sparkled with joy. “When did you come back? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I wanted to give you a surprise.”
Bian Xianyang tightly held the person hanging on him and walked towards the bedroom, placing him on the bed. While kissing him, he reached into his clothes.
Yang Xiaole also touched him, and as he touched, he felt a pang of heartache. “Why did you lose weight again?”
“I’m on a diet.”
“You’re already so thin, and you’re still dieting?”
“The role requires it. I need to get even thinner.” Bian Xianyang said while removing the clothes that were in the way on Yang Xiaole’s body, bowing his head to kiss his chest.
Yang Xiaole felt itchy and swollen from his kisses, slightly painful. “Gently… Do you have to play this role? You’re clearly a singer, why do you always have to join film projects?”
“Baby, it’s the company’s arrangement.” Bian Xianyang lightly bit his chest, refusing to let go, and his slightly cool hand explored downwards.
Yang Xiaole cooperatively opened his legs a bit more, unable to bear it, and complained, “You’re too busy. Why are you always so busy?”
Bian Xianyang lifted his face, leaned over to kiss the corner of his mouth, “Busy for a while, and then it’ll be okay.”
“You always say that. You said the same last time, and then you didn’t come home for forty-six days.” Yang Xiaole’s eyes held a thin mist, and his voice sounded low, as if accusing, “Five days, fourteen days, twenty-five days, thirty-two days, forty-six days, getting longer and longer!”
Seeing Yang Xiaole’s tearful and distressed expression softened Bian Xianyang’s heart. He felt that his Lele was pitiful and cute. Unable to resist, he lifted him up and placed him on his lap. “Baby, miss me so much?”
“Hell no! You never come home!”
Bian Xianyang clicked his tongue lightly. “You were so cute just now. Why did you become fierce all of a sudden?”
“Because you don’t come home!” Yang Xiaole angrily grabbed his hair.
“I also want to come home, want to hold you while sleeping, but the crew won’t let me go home.”
“How did you come back today then?”
Bian Xianyang sighed, lifting his face to kiss him, “I only have two hours; I have to hurry back for night scenes.”
Yang Xiaole had heard this many times before, and each time felt like the first time, like a bucket of cold water poured over him, making his heart feel cold.
But this time, not only did Yang Xiaole’s heart feel cold, but an indescribable restlessness and anxiety suddenly surged. “After leaving, will I see you again after forty-six days? Or fifty-six days?”
Having said this, Yang Xiaole didn’t wait for him to answer, struggling forcefully out of his embrace. Bian Xianyang tightly held his wrist, “Baby…”
“Let go! Go shoot your drama! I don’t need you to take time out of your busy schedule to come back and sleep with me!”
The harshness of these words made Bian Xianyang’s brow instantly furrow. He released Yang Xiaole’s wrist, watched him pick up his clothes from the floor while trembling with anger, then wordlessly got up, walked to the open bedroom door, and locked it.
Yang Xiaole was furious, “What’s the use of locking it? You’ll leave on your own in two hours anyway!”
Bian Xianyang leaned against the bedroom door, silently looking at him for a while. The long silence made the air between them seem to freeze into ice, giving an inexplicable chill.
With red eyes, Yang Xiaole looked at him, and tears began to well up, but he didn’t let them spill over. “You promised to cherish me, but you never do. You only make me understand and wait for you at home.”
Bian Xianyang, exhausted, lowered his head, pressing his sore forehead, “Baby, don’t be like this…”
Seeing him like this, Yang Xiaole couldn’t help but feel sorry. “If not like this, then how? I want to go out and be by myself for a while! Open the door!”
Bian Xianyang shook his head slowly, “Stay here, don’t go anywhere. I just want to see you.”
Yang Xiaole was furious, quietly gritting his teeth. He turned his head and glanced at the wardrobe, suddenly having an idea.
Bian Xianyang watched as he walked to the wardrobe, opened the door, slipped inside, and closed it again. For a moment, he wanted to laugh but couldn’t find the strength to do so. He didn’t even have the energy to laugh.
He walked up to the wardrobe and tapped on the door with his fingers.
The person inside sounded impatient, “What?”
“How can I see you if you’re hiding inside?”
“Why should I show myself just because you want to see me? Did you let me see you when I wanted to? Did I have the chance to ask you to show up and let me see you?”
Bian Xianyang no longer wasted words and directly opened the wardrobe door.
Angry, Yang Xiaole, hidden behind the hanging clothes, lifted his foot and kicked his thigh, “Who allowed you to open it? Close it!”
Bian Xianyang reached out, grabbed his slender ankle, preventing him from pulling it back, then bent down, sitting on the floor, cradling Yang Xiaole’s foot to peer into the wardrobe, looking at the half-exposed face.
“Sorry, baby, I didn’t know it would make you so angry.”
“Knowing won’t change anything.”
Bian Xianyang lowered his head again, not saying anything.
With one eye fixedly on him, Yang Xiaole said, “Aren’t you afraid that if this continues, we’ll break up one day?”
Bian Xianyang suddenly lifted his head, “You want to break up with me?”
“I don’t want to, but I’m afraid that if this continues, we’ll break up one day.”
Bian Xianyang firmly shook his head, “That won’t happen.”
“I don’t believe it.” Yang Xiaole withdrew his foot from his grasp, closed the open wardrobe door, and a muffled voice came out, “I don’t believe anyone who doesn’t come home.”