I Only Want You chapter 40

Sub CP 2

Bian Xianyang’s straightforwardness and unexpectedly pure nature were qualities Yang Xiaole had long been aware of. Although they didn’t have many opportunities to meet like this, casual conversations revealed that Bian Xianyang was even more carefree than he appeared.

“Why are you so surprised? After that day, I clearly asked if you understood what I said. You didn’t get it?”

Yang Xiaole’s mind was in complete disarray, making it impossible for him to think rationally. He pressed against the door, “You, I, okay, I understand now, very clear.”

Bian Xianyang wasn’t entirely convinced, raising an eyebrow and looking at him, “So, can I come over now?”

“Why come over? You can talk from where you’re standing!”

Bian Xianyang estimated the distance between them, “..I just want to hug you.”

“Men and women shouldn’t get too close!”

“Are you shy?”

Rather than being shy, Yang Xiaole felt like turning around, opening the door, and running away. He genuinely wanted to run, but for some reason, looking at Bian Xianyang standing there, his legs seemed glued to the floor, unable to move.

“…Can I come over?”

“No, no, no! Wait, wait!”

Bian Xianyang obediently stood still since Yang Xiaole hadn’t agreed to let him come over. He looked at him with confusion, “Wait for what?”

“I’m thinking.”

“Thinking about what?”

“Don’t ask!”

Bian Xianyang felt somewhat wronged by his sternness, “Are you regretting it? Because I mentioned marrying you?”

Yang Xiaole didn’t know what to say to his question. His throat felt dry, “I don’t regret it. I just feel… I feel like you might regret it.”

Bian Xianyang looked serious, “I’m committed to a lifelong relationship. I would never play with someone’s feelings. I will cherish you.”

Every word of this made Yang Xiaole’s heart feel like it was about to jump out of his throat. For the first time in his life, he felt anxious and wished to find a hole to hide in.

This development was entirely unexpected!

He thought Bian Xianyang’s interest in Nana was just temporary, perhaps finding an underground romance exciting. Never did he think Bian Xianyang was serious!

Is Nana really that great? Does he like Nana so much that he wants to marry her?!

“Have you decided? Can I come over?”

Yang Xiaole looked at Bian Xianyang, realizing that he liked every aspect of his face, from the prominent nose to the delicate eyebrows and eyes. Blushing this much was all because of him. He sang well, was talented, handsome, and knew how to be affectionate…

That’s the reason he couldn’t refuse him!

Several seconds of silence and agreement were almost equivalent. Bian Xianyang tentatively took a small step forward. Seeing that Yang Xiaole didn’t look angry, he breathed a sigh of relief and walked up to him, reaching out to encircle his waist and draw him close.

“I really like the dress you’re wearing today, it’s very beautiful.”

Yang Xiaole was wearing a vintage-style long-sleeved floral dress, fresh and elegant. It was one of his favorite dresses, and he wore it specifically for today. Unexpectedly, Bian Xianyang liked it as much as he did.

“You’re strange…”

“Hmm? What’s strange about me?”

Yang Xiaole gently pushed him away, “Everything is strange. I don’t know if I should call you casual or foolish. Who rushes into a relationship with the goal of getting married after five meetups?”

“Hmm? My family is like that. Moreover, wanting to be with the person you like for a lifetime is a very normal thing. If dating isn’t aimed at marriage, wouldn’t that be unfair?”

“…Why would that be considered unfair? Dating can also be a way for two lonely people to have some fun, not necessarily with the intention of marriage.”

Bian Xianyang hit the nail on the head, “Isn’t that avoiding responsibility?”

“Is it wrong not to take responsibility?”

“Of course, it’s wrong. Baby, that’s not right. Who told you that? Were you deceived? Liking someone means wanting to cherish them. Those lonely people having fun, that’s too frivolous. It disrespects both parties and oneself.”

Yang Xiaole felt like he was being scolded for the first time in his life, every word hitting home and stabbing at his sore spots.

Unaware of Yang Xiaole’s unease, Bian Xianyang, holding his hand, walked them towards the bed. He hugged Yang Xiaole’s waist, making him sit on his lap.

“Baby, did I scare you with what I said earlier? Is that why you’re upset?”

“…No.”

“Is it because I mentioned marriage, and you feel pressured?”

“Yes.” Yang Xiaole felt a bit embarrassed by the overly intimate gesture of sitting on his lap.

Bian Xianyang lowered his head along with Yang Xiaole, intimately holding his hand, “There’s a mole on the side of your palm.”

Yang Xiaole pulled his hand back, “Don’t change the subject.”

“Sorry, I just thought the previous topic was a bit heavy.”

“You also know it’s heavy. Why are you taking it so seriously?”

“Because I want to cherish you.”

“Here we go again… You don’t know me at all. We’ve only met a few times, and how do you know I’m someone worth cherishing? Just because you fell for me at first sight? You don’t even know my full name.”

“You tell me, and then I’ll know.”

“I won’t tell you.”

“You’re being unreasonable.”

“Yes, I am. I’m just that unreasonable! If you don’t like it, let’s break up!”

After saying that, Yang Xiaole stood up, but Bian Xianyang pulled him back onto his lap.

“Don’t be so fierce. I don’t dislike it, and I don’t want to break up.”

Yang Xiaole felt a bit overwhelmed, turning his face away, “This is too chaotic, too chaotic. Why did things suddenly turn out like this? Help me, Momo.”

Bian Xianyang, smelling the fragrance on Yang Xiaole, curiously asked, “Who is Momo?”

“Mind your own business. You don’t know that person.”

“Oh~ Can I kiss you?”

“No!”

“That’s how it went… After a while, I made an excuse and ran away.”

Yan Lan watched Yang Xiaole, sitting cross-legged on the chair, holding a cup, for a while before picking up a pen and paper to write: This is troublesome.

“I know it’s troublesome.” Yang Xiaole put down the cup and covered his face, “No, I’ve completely lost control. If he finds out that Nana is actually a guy, he’ll probably want to kill me.”

That’s really hard to say…

“What should I do, Momo? I feel like I’m at a dead end.”

After thinking for a moment, Yan Lan wrote: You can’t drag this on any longer. You have to confess everything to him.

“Isn’t that seeking death?”

Yan Lan: It’s not that serious. Apologize sincerely and explain the reasons.

“It’s too late now.” Yang Xiaole shook his head, his face pale, his mind in chaos. “We’ve already kissed. If he finds out he kissed a guy, he might be disgusted and want to vomit.”

Yan Lan: So, you think it’s better to keep it a secret?

“Yes, absolutely. I can’t let him know that Nana is a guy. I’ll find an opportunity to break up with him, or maybe just tell him I’ve fallen for someone else.”

Yan Lan, with a worried expression: Can that work?

“It has to work!”

Yan Lan noted down the most crucial question: Can you reject him? The development of your relationship so far is because you couldn’t reject him, and he has been pressing on.

Yang Xiaole instantly felt helpless, leaning on the table, “What’s scarier is that he wants to cherish Nana. In that case, I’ll be a complete villain, a frivolous scumbag who disregards love. I was wrong, I was really wrong. I shouldn’t have gone to his Hotel from the beginning. I shouldn’t have met him. If I hadn’t met him that day, how could things have turned into this mess now? And when he said he wanted to cherish me, I shamefully felt moved. I wish I were really Nana, but I’m not. I am Yang Xiaole…”

Yan Lan walked over and gently patted his back, offering silent comfort.

Yang Xiaole sighed, “Being in love is truly confusing. I had many chances to reject him, even now I could break up with a text message, but I just can’t do it. I can’t do it, Momo.”

Deep within, Yan Lan sighed heavily, picked up the paper and pen: So, that’s why I worry about you. You clearly like him. You’re not as dismissive as you claim. You can’t reject him because you can’t bear to disappoint and sadden him, right? So, if he wants to meet Nana, you let him. If he wants to kiss, you let him.

“Because I’m a soft-hearted person…”

Yan Lan, raising an eyebrow, looked at him: Are you really soft-hearted? You disappeared quite decisively with those people before.

“Well, okay, maybe I’m a heartless person.”

Yan Lan: I understand that you don’t want to hurt him. But at this point, you can’t avoid hurting him anymore, whether you like it or not.

“I know, I’ll think about it seriously…”

Yan Lan touched his soft hair. There were many questions he wanted to ask, but in the end, he didn’t. All along, he thought he knew Yang Xiaole well, knowing that he was a tough person who appeared invulnerable, but sometimes he seemed to sense the vulnerability that Yang Xiaole never revealed in public.

Concerned about Yang Xiaole, Yan Lan’s mood had not been good these past few days. He feared that Yang Xiaole would think too much and thus accompanied him at all times—attending classes together, having meals together, watching TV series together, and even doing makeup for Pameela together.

As a result, Xie Yun Zhi, who felt neglected, had some opinions. One evening, after finishing work, he didn’t have dinner and went straight to the School of Fine Arts. Waiting at the south gate for Yan Lan, all his dissatisfaction turned into longing and grievance the moment he saw him.

“I understand that you want to console your roommate, but isn’t it a bit too much to ignore your boyfriend completely?”

Yan Lan looked at him with a puzzled expression, took out his phone, opened WeChat, and showed him the chat history between the two. Then he typed: I haven’t ignored you, and I haven’t taken more than half an hour to reply to you.

“It’s not that you haven’t, but your mind isn’t here. I’m flying to Hong Kong tomorrow, and you don’t seem to care at all.”

Yan Lan: I do care.

“You don’t.”

Yan Lan looked helpless: But you’re coming back tomorrow night.

Xie Yun Zhi grabbed his hand, placed it near his lips, and kissed it. “Stick closer to me, and I’ll buy you diamonds.”

Yan Lan looked baffled. He gently pulled back his hand: What do I need diamonds for?

Xie Yun Zhi didn’t explicitly say but stated, “Tomorrow at the auction in Hong Kong, there will be a vibrant pink diamond. I want to bid for it.”

Yan Lan nodded, thought for a moment: I wish you all the best.

Xie Yun Zhi smiled and leaned over to kiss his lips, “It will be smooth. Wait for me to come back.”