Evil Love Appears chapter 95

The hospital was adjacent to a small elementary school around the corner, so at this moment, there were many school children playing in the middle of the park’s amusement area. Xu Lang had brought Nanyi to the hospital once before when accompanying Murong Jingya for a checkup, so he was quite familiar with the area.

Nanyi was quite happy to go to the park. He had an outgoing personality, and during their previous visit, he had even made friends with a first-grade boy there, who, of course, was a beautiful, big-eyed, fair-skinned boy. He was eager to see him again, so as soon as they arrived at the amusement park, he couldn’t wait to join the other kids.

“Daddy, don’t follow me.”

Though Nanyi was young, he was naturally social and understood that having parents around when there were other kids would be uncool.

He took a few steps forward and then turned back to instruct Xu Jiale, “But don’t go too far. I should be able to see you when I look back!”

His eyes were small, and as he smiled and blinked, he looked like a little fox.

Even in moments like these, Xu Jiale couldn’t help but smile. “Okay, your grandpa and I will sit on the side and wait for you.”

Once Nanyi had run off into the distance, Xu Jiale and Xu Lang sat together on a bench on the side, watching the children in the distance playing and running around, making noise.

Autumn was approaching, and the ground in the park was already covered with many fallen leaves. The evening breeze blew gently from behind, carrying a cool breeze.

“How’s your health? Is your stomach still hurting?”

“It’s okay, not too uncomfortable.”

“You should eat lightly, avoid alcohol, and not stay up late to speed up your recovery process.”

Xu Lang habitually repeated these words, but he could tell that his son’s thoughts were elsewhere. After a pause, he directly asked, “Jiale, a few days ago, you suddenly went to Vietnam. Did you go to see your previous partner?”

“Yes,” Xu Jiale replied.

He felt like hearing Xu Lang say that phrase, “your previous partner,” made his stomach ache. Then he realized that Xu Lang had followed up with another question, “why”

He quickly added, “It’s because he got dengue fever from a mosquito bite in Vietnam, and I was worried, so I didn’t think much and booked a flight to go there in the middle of the night. It was quite awkward, actually.”

Xu Jiale’s mouth twitched with a bitter expression, and he didn’t know if that counted as a smile. He lowered his head and said, “We don’t have any relationship anymore. Going there only made him feel uncomfortable. Fortunately, his illness wasn’t severe.”

Xu Lang sighed softly and, after a while, he looked at the lively playground in the distance and said in a low voice, “Are you still thinking about him now?”

Xu Jiale turned to look at Xu Lang, opened his mouth, but for a moment, he couldn’t speak.

This alpha, although in his fifties, still dressed meticulously. He wore golden-rimmed glasses, a black T-shirt, and a camel-colored thick-knit cardigan, giving off a bit of a middle-aged, yuppie vibe.

With his finely arched eyebrows, high nose bridge, and taut skin, he not only aged gracefully but also exuded an air of noble elegance. Yet, due to his gentle demeanor, his pride wasn’t outwardly displayed.

“Jiale,” Xu Lang said, sitting closer, and asked earnestly, “How did you two suddenly break up back then? Was it because of the child?”

“Nanyi… he still doesn’t know about my divorce from Jin Chu. That day, he had an asthma attack, and I was genuinely scared…”

Xu Jiale didn’t finish the sentence; he suddenly felt a bitter taste in his mouth.

He had explained the same reasons to Wen Ke countless times and even to himself. Now, as he explained it to Xu Lang, he felt fatigued and absurd, unable to convince even himself.

He eventually said hoarsely, “Dad, I thought I could do without love and focus on being a responsible father. But now, I regret it. I’m not only a lousy lover, but in the end, I’m also a lousy father. I haven’t done anything right.”

“Jiale, you’re not a lousy father,” Xu Lang said in a deep voice, exuding a strong sense of security.

At that moment, Xu Jiale felt like he had returned to his childhood, and he couldn’t hold back any longer. He shook his head as if he were a child who had done something wrong.

“Jiale, what about me? Am I a lousy father too?”

Xu Jiale suddenly looked up.

He felt a strong urge to retort, but before he could speak, Xu Lang continued, “Before you went to the United States, you were always angry with me, don’t you remember? We hardly spoke for a week, and you spent your time at your friend’s house or locked in your room. Because I never divorced Jingya, did you… also resent me? Resent my weakness, resent my miserable life?”

“I…” Xu Jiale’s voice trembled slightly.

He couldn’t say he had never resented Xu Lang.

During his rebellious teenage years, love and hate were as intense as the midsummer heat. He had come home once during one of Jingya’s heat periods and, filled with anger, smashed the glass of Xu Lang’s bedroom. Then he ran away, lying alone on the red plastic running track at the school until security guards kicked him out before nightfall.

But hate was not the whole story. Growing up, he realized that it was rare to have either pure love or pure hate for his dad.

His long pause filled Xu Lang’s eyes with a hint of sadness, and Xu Jiale felt the same heartache.

“Xu Lang, you’re not a lousy father,” he took a deep breath and self-deprecatingly smiled, “In fact, you’re the most remarkable and great father in my heart.”

Saying such words as an adult was quite embarrassing for an alpha. However, since they had come this far, there was no need for more secrecy. He continued, “Xu Lang, I know that everything you’ve done is for me. From childhood to adulthood, I’ve always wanted to be a responsible father like you, really.”

His growth had been so contradictory.

Their family was like a paper house in a storm. Xu Lang had carefully pasted it layer by layer, even though raindrops still occasionally seeped in.

But regardless, it had survived.

Therefore, he had always been rebellious and hated Xu Lang’s compromises. But at the same time, he had never had an absolute sense of security, so he quietly depended on Xu Lang’s sense of responsibility and protection.

“Jiale…”

Xu Lang stared at Xu Jiale for a long time and suddenly tightly held Xu Jiale’s hand. “My son, I have always loved you. But I haven’t divorced, not just out of a sense of responsibility.”

“At that time, when Jingya had an affair, I also thought about getting a divorce. But he didn’t want to. Even though I said I wouldn’t hold him responsible and wouldn’t ask for his shares, he still refused. In my younger years, many times I didn’t know what to do. I hated him, but I was unwilling to leave, so it dragged on.”

Xu Jiale stared at Xu Lang in a daze, unaware of the many intense struggles between his two fathers.

“We let it go… and got back together,” Xu Lang said. “You were about to go to the United States at the time, and he often came back to Shuncheng. You didn’t know. After this operation, Jingya was planning to retire completely. He said he didn’t want to be busy outside anymore and wants to spend his old age with me.”

Xu Jiale was somewhat dazed as he looked at Xu Lang. “Xu Lang, can you… truly forgive him?”

“I don’t know either,” Xu Lang replied with a faint smile. There was a calm and serene quality in his expression that Xu Jiale couldn’t immediately understand. He continued, “Even after all these years, I still hold a bit of resentment against him. Maybe this lingering resentment will never go away until I die. I’ve just learned to live with this tiny bit of resentment.”

“Jiale, I’ve never properly talked to you about the things between Jingya and me over the years. Maybe it’s because I didn’t want my son to look down on me, thinking I lived a pitiful life. But Jiale, I don’t want you to see me as that pitiful either, as if I were just shouldering the responsibility of being a father and propping up a family out of compromise. It’s not like that.”

“I have always loved your father, of course, I love you too. You’re his and my child. Even if you may think I’m insignificant, even if the love isn’t as pure as it was when we were younger, it’s still love. If there wasn’t even a hint of love remaining, I couldn’t have sustained myself, couldn’t have carried on for decades by sacrificing myself and feeling responsible. It’s simply impossible, do you understand? Even for me, it’s impossible.”

Xu Jiale was stunned, and his fingers involuntarily trembled slightly.

That answer was so unexpected, yet it seemed like it had always been lurking in his heart.

So people… can’t really sacrifice themselves, can they?

Even his idol, Xu Lang, couldn’t do it.

It’s something only gods can do.

“Jiale, if that’s the case, would you still think of me as a great father?”

“…” Xu Jiale turned his head slightly and finally said in a very soft voice, “Dad, it doesn’t matter if you’re great or not. Right now, I just… hope you can be happy.”

He struggled to say these words.

He might never be able to forgive Murong Jingya in his life, but Xu Lang’s choice was ultimately Xu Lang’s choice.

In that moment, his heart felt like it was swept by a melancholic autumn wind.

Xu Lang plucked a fallen leaf from Xu Jiale’s body and said softly, “Jiale, my son, you want me to be happy. Nanyi wants the same. Nanyi wants you to be happy.”

Xu Jiale gazed silently at Nanyi, who had already joined other children and was having a lively time not far away. Suddenly, he couldn’t control himself and buried his face in his hands.

It wasn’t a breakdown.

It was just that, in that moment, such intense emotions washed over him that his shoulders trembled involuntarily.

“I used to think that not explaining things was to prevent you from being angry or disappointed with me. But I was wrong. I didn’t realize this until I was in my fifties: as a father, to teach your child something, you need to live it yourself.”

“Jiale, you’re also a father now. What do you want Nanyi to be like in the future? Do you want him to only remember the heavy responsibilities, or do you want him to be happy?”

“I… want…” Xu Jiale choked up and said, one word at a time, “I want Nanyi to be happy, courageous, and always… be honest with himself and love the person he wants to love.”

“Then you have to start living like that from now on,” Xu Lang said gently.

The rushing wind blew into his mouth and collar.

It felt like his chest had opened up.

He had to live this way too.

Bravely, honestly, and in love with Fu Xiaoyu.

“Daddy!”

The little guy didn’t know when he had rushed back. He seemed to find Xu Jiale’s appearance somewhat comical. Unable to resist, he stood in front of Xu Jiale, grabbing the raised hair on the alpha’s head, and said, “Daddy, what are you doing?”

“Sweetie, don’t…” Xu Jiale, somewhat embarrassed, covered his face and felt that his hair was being pulled out, one strand at a time.

“Grandpa, is Daddy not feeling well? He doesn’t look good,” the little one said.

“Sweetie, Daddy is just thinking about you,” Xu Lang smiled, speaking gently to the little guy. Then, he used his other hand to rub Xu Jiale’s back.

“Oh!” Nanyi suddenly became happy, stood on tiptoe, and wrapped his two arms around Xu Jiale’s head. He playfully “kissed” Xu Jiale’s head with a loud “mwah” and said, “Daddy, I love you!”

Xu Lang, Xu Jiale, and Xu Nanyi.

Two pairs of fathers and sons connected by him.

The serendipity of life, in this autumn, made him feel so warm and fulfilled for the first time.

Xu Jiale stubbornly refused to lift his face, feeling both embarrassed and happy, surging together—

He was really silly.

And life was really good.