Don’t Ignite It chapter 93

Difficult to Escape Blame: Xu Zhan × Ruan Sen(Part 22)

At almost the same moment, Xu Zhan was also thinking that they had been apart for eighty-one days. Nearly three months without seeing each other, and it seemed like Qin Sheng had also slimmed down a bit. He was dressed in a suit, tall and elegant, but not too formal. It was unclear where he had just come from, perhaps a private gathering.

Embarrassingly, for a split second, Xu Zhan almost turned around and ran away. He wasn’t a timid or fearful person, and he despised shrinking away from situations. However, when he saw Qin Sheng’s handsome and profound face under the streetlight, a shiver ran down his spine.

Three months was too short.

He remembered everything about this person clearly, the happy dates, the New Year’s fireworks, the kisses on their lips, and the pain of their last parting. But he couldn’t escape.

This was his home, and there was no reason for him to turn and flee like a coward.

Xu Zhan blinked his eyes, took a deep breath, and finally took a step forward, walking past Qin Sheng and his car without saying a word. He took out his access card, swiped it, and opened the door. But just before he walked through the door, he heard a voice from behind, “Professor Xu.”

With a snap, a long and powerful arm reached past him and forcefully closed the door. He instinctively took a step back and found himself pressed against a familiar chest.

He looked up and met Qin Sheng’s dark and mysterious eyes. Qin Sheng was slightly taller than him, with broader shoulders and a more imposing figure, completely trapping him in his embrace. The two of them were very close, close enough for Xu Zhan to count Qin Sheng’s individual eyelashes.

The moon had already risen in the sky, and its gentle light fell between them, filling the empty embrace.

For some reason, Xu Zhan’s heartbeat suddenly seemed to falter.

“So, after not seeing each other for so long, you have nothing to say to me?” Qin Sheng said. “Did you just walk past me pretending not to recognize me?”

The question was somewhat absurd. What was he supposed to say? “We no longer have any connection. Where you appear is your own business.”

He didn’t put on a facade of not recognizing Qin Sheng. That would be too childish. Hesitating for a moment, he pushed Qin Sheng’s shoulder. “Could you please step aside? I need to get inside my apartment.”

But it was clear that Qin Sheng didn’t budge. Instead, he held Xu Zhan’s hand tightly, almost painfully so. Xu Zhan was starting to feel annoyed.

“Qin Sheng, What exactly are you trying to do? This kind of back and forth is honestly ridiculous, You’re a man with a reputation and a name. Shouldn’t you care about your image?””

Ridiculous. Qin Sheng pondered over that word, and he couldn’t help but feel pitiful about himself. Yesterday, he had secured a huge deal for the company and he was to celebrate with his friends. But instead of flying to California for a victory banquet, he appeared in Chuan City, China.

It wasn’t just Xu Zhan who thought the past half-year had been like a dream; he felt the same way. But he still couldn’t wake up from it.

Suddenly, he relaxed his grip, no longer holding Xu Zhan’s hand, but in the next moment, he seemed to exhaust all his strength. He pressed his entire body against Xu Zhan, his chin resting on Xu Zhan’s shoulder, and his arm wrapped around Xu Zhan’s waist.

“I didn’t want to come,” he said.

“But I’m just so pathetic. It’s been three months since we broke up, so why haven’t I forgotten you?”

These three months, he had refused to hear any news about Xu Zhan. When Aurora wanted to talk to him, he had refused. He accompanied Aurora to social events, allowing media outlets to report on their fake relationship. Childishly, he hoped Xu Zhan would see it and become furious, and call him.

But he also felt that maybe Xu Zhan wouldn’t care at all. And now, he had lost the only chip he had to make Xu Zhan angry. He had just canceled his engagement with Aurora, and the news had spread like wildfire, especially in China. He wanted Xu Zhan to regret it, to make Xu Zhan restless and unable to eat or sleep at night.

But in the end, the one who regretted it first was him.

Xu Zhan suddenly stopped pushing Qin Sheng’s hand away. But it was only for a moment, then he pushed Qin Sheng harder. This time, Qin Sheng moved away a bit, leaving a small gap between them, allowing the moonlight and the ambient light to filter through.

Xu Zhan could see Qin Sheng’s face clearly. Unlike the seemingly indifferent expression from earlier, Qin Sheng was now staring intensely at him. His eyelashes were thick, and his black eyes looked almost sad, like a discarded dog left out in the rain. But Qin Sheng seemed unwilling to admit it, slightly tilting his head.

Xu Zhan’s heart skipped a beat. Absurd. He had thought that Qin Sheng had come to confront him. Or maybe there was something left behind at his place that Qin Sheng wanted to retrieve. But Qin Sheng was here to say that he hadn’t forgotten him.

“Are you kidding me?” Xu Zhan’s voice trembled as he stared at Qin Sheng in disbelief. “Do you think this is a game of make-believe? You can break up if you want, and reconcile if you want?”

He hadn’t forgotten how painful his breakup with Qin Sheng had been. The red marks on his wrist had taken nearly two weeks to fade, and the scars in his heart still hadn’t healed. He asked Qin Sheng, “is it because you broke up with your fiancée that you thought of me again, thinking you hadn’t had enough fun yet?”

Qin Sheng’s face changed suddenly. “There was no fiancée,” he said, staring at Xu Zhan. “Three months ago, I had already broken up with her. To say we broke up isn’t accurate. Aurora and I were never together. She’s my friend, and the engagement was purely for mutual benefit. We had agreed to dissolve the engagement long ago.”

As he spoke, his face took on a weary expression. He should have said this three months ago. “Before you sent me to the airport on Christmas, I told Aurora that I met someone in China and wanted to be with him.”

It was the first time he had ever fallen in love with someone.

Qin Sheng looked at Xu Zhan, and his eyes gradually became watery. Three months had passed, and now that they were reunited, he had to admit that he had never forgotten Xu Zhan.

“I hated you,” Qin Sheng continued, his voice trembling. “I really hated being played for a fool. You were dating me while living under the same roof as your husband. When I found out, I truly despised you. But when I found out you were divorced, I started to think… Does that mean, at least in comparison to that person named Xia Yu, you chose me?”

“Does this mean… you still love me a little?”

Qin Sheng thought it was ridiculous. Given the current situation, he could only dare to say that Xu Zhan still loved him a little. He, who had once been so full of himself, thought that Xu Zhan loved him deeply. He asked Xu Zhan, “I know I’ve done a lot of wrong things, and concealed many issues from you. But now that you’re divorced, and I’m single, can we start over?”

He learned to lower his head and let go of pointless pride for the first time in his life. He still hated lies and betrayal, but Xu Zhan could be an exception. He could be a coward and pretend that Xu Zhan’s previous marriage didn’t exist.

Xu Zhan looked at Qin Sheng’s teary eyes, and he could see the emotions in Qin Sheng’s eyes. Qin Sheng had always been somewhat like a spoiled young master, too young and too proud. He had the best family background, education, looks – everything top-notch. Such a person, who had been a kept lover for a few months and ended up becoming a joke in the end, would understandably lose his composure in anger.

And now, this young master was in front of him, with red-rimmed eyes. To be honest, Xu Zhan couldn’t bear to see Qin Sheng looking so sad. He truly loved him. A few months ago, if Qin Sheng had that expression, he would have agreed to anything, his head spinning with agreement. But now, it was different. Adults were like this; their healing abilities weakened with age, and it took a long time to recover from a wound.

“Should I thank you for being so generous?” Xu Zhan chuckled lightly. “Thank you for forgiving my affair, for forgiving me for not loving you enough?”

He wanted to. He also wanted to love the person named Ruan Sen a little less. But he watched as Qin Shen’s gaze gradually became blurred.

“But did you only lie to me about the engagement? Your name, your history – everything was fake. We’ve been together for almost six months, and I don’t know which of your words is true.”

“That’s because I…”

Qin Sheng tried to explain, but Xu Zhan shook his head to stop him. Xu Zhan leaned against the glass door, and perhaps it was because the glass door was too cold; even his bones ached.

He said, “You said your engagement was fake, but my marriage was also fake.”

He looked at Qin Sheng and tried to muster a dignified smile. However, tears still rolled down from the corners of his eyes. The explanations that were three months overdue had lost their original meaning. For both him and Qin Sheng.

Qin Sheng actually knew nothing about Xu Zhan’s marriage, whether it was real or fake. He had come back, and waited downstairs at Xu Zhan’s home because he couldn’t forget him and found it hard to move on. After careful consideration, he wanted to start over, to forget that Xu Zhan had once been married and cheated on his husband with him.

But Xu Zhan’s marriage was also a lie.