Don’t Ignite It chapter 92

Difficult To Ecape Blame: Xu Zhan × Ruan Sen (21)

Losing Qin Sheng seemed somewhat easier to accept than Xu Zhan had anticipated. Perhaps people naturally have a self-protective instinct. He quickly learned to forget that less-than-six-month love affair with the busyness of work.

In reality, Xu Zhan wasn’t even sure if it could be called love. A relationship built on lies couldn’t be sincere, and using the word “love” to describe it would be a stain.

But as he sat in the library, searching for materials, he lifted his head and saw the leaves outside the window gradually turning green. Young men and women walked past the bookshelves, and when they noticed him, they greeted him, calling him “Professor Xu” politely.

His heart would still ache slightly.

Professor Xu.

Ruan Sen occasionally called him that too, especially in bed. He was of an age where he could have been Xu Zhan’s student, and the playful and ambiguous use of the term “professor” was obviously insincere, but it added another layer of inappropriateness.

He lost himself for a few seconds, then looked up to find the students still looking at him eagerly, asking in hushed tones if he needed help finding research materials.

He shook his head and thanked them.

The students then left, and his gaze drifted over to their intertwined hands.

It was nice.

He thought that college relationships should be simpler, happening on campus, knowing each other thoroughly, with daily activities like classes and homework, leaving no room for secrets.

A while later, news of his divorce from Xia Yu began to spread.

He had become noticeably thinner lately and seemed even more lifeless. On the other hand, Xia Yu quickly found a new partner, none other than Lu Zhao, who had a complicated history with Xia Yu. Lu Zhao was the only son of a wealthy family and held real power in the Lu family. He was indeed more outstanding and wealthy compared to Xu Zhan, which led some people to criticize Xia Yu.

Xu Zhan tried to explain, but Xia Yu didn’t seem to care about the gossip.

Xia Yu had been visiting him often lately, sitting barefoot on his sofa, nibbling on an apple.

“Who cares?” Xia Yu smiled sweetly, “who cares about what others think? My ex-husband is so outstanding, and my current boyfriend is so infatuated with me. That’s enough.”

Xu Zhan chuckled.

He shook his head and took the apple that Xia Yu had peeled. It was surprisingly sweet.

“Doesn’t Lu Zhao mind that you’re here with me?”

He knew that Xia Yu just wanted to keep him company. Although he hadn’t discussed Qin Sheng’s situation much, Xia Yu could tell that he had been in low spirits the past few days.

However, both he and Xia Yu were divorced now, and Xia Yu kept coming to his place. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for Lu Zhao.

“What does it have to do with him?” Xia Yu sweetly smiled, deliberately leaning against his shoulder. “I’ll be wherever I want to be. I like being with you.”

Xu Zhan smiled again.

Xia Yu rested against him, reminding him of a long-haired rabbit he had raised when he was a child. It was usually overly lively, had broken several flowerpots, but when he was in a bad mood, it would obediently nestle in his chest, warm and making him soft-hearted.

He patted Xia Yu’s hair. “It’s okay, you don’t have to keep trying to keep me company. I’ve been quite busy lately. I have to grade student assignments, write manuscripts, and go on business trips. I’m doing well.”

Xia Yu pouted in disappointment but immediately perked up and went to get some snacks.

As Xu Zhan watched him, he couldn’t help but think that Xia Yu was like a little pet he had raised, full of energy and happiness.

When he first married Xia Yu, Xia Yu wasn’t much different from a withered flower, always faintly smiling, organized in his work and life, but lacking vitality.

At that time, Xia Yu had just come out of a failed relationship, which, strictly speaking, was more painful than his current situation with Ruan Sen. Xia Yu had loved Lu Zhao for three years with no results, and just when he finally let go, Lu Zhao turned around and said he loved him, making it more ironic than not loving him at all.

Yet, Xia Yu was now lively and happy being with Lu Zhao.

Xu Zhan looked at him, and he couldn’t help but think that maybe he would forget and move on one day too.

He hadn’t forgotten yet. It was just that the time was too short. There were four seasons in a year, and time passed quickly. He had only been apart from Ruan Sen for a little over a month.

So, he allowed himself a moment of weakness, allowed himself to not have completely moved on yet.

In the second month after breaking up with Ruan Sen and having gotten a divorce, Xu Zhan received an unexpected confession.

It was from Fang Xieyi.

After his divorce from Xia Yu, all the past pursuers suddenly became active again, thinking that he was deeply hurt and needed a new relationship to heal. He even began to avoid social gatherings for fear of being bombarded with dating invitations.

But he didn’t expect Fang Xieyi to join the commotion as well.

Fang Xieyi was more straightforward than others. Leveraging their collaboration at the university, he waited for Xu Zhan directly outside his office and invited him to lunch.

During the meal, Fang Xieyi got straight to the point. “I know you’re divorced now. Can you give me a chance now? Even though I used to be a jerk, I’m trying to change. I’ve also come out to my family, and they won’t pressure you. Compared to other pursuers, at least we knew each other when we were young, and we know each other well. I won’t break up with you easily, and I won’t cheat on you. I’m serious.”

In his final words, Fang Xieyi subtly hinted at Xia Yu.

Xu Zhan picked up on it. He looked at Fang Xieyi and said, “Xia Yu and I had an amicable divorce. He didn’t do anything wrong to me, and we’re still friends.”

“Alright, I misunderstood,” Fang Xieyi apologized readily. “Then you should consider trying something new. Look, your ex-husband has a partner and a successful career now. You shouldn’t live like a hermit. I don’t think you need to commit to a relationship with me. Just enjoy the process, even if there’s no outcome, at least make yourself happy along the way.”

He gazed at Xu Zhan and continued, “I want to make you happy. Would you be willing to give it a try?”

Xu Zhan looked at the person in front of him, momentarily lost in thought.

He had initially seen Qin Sheng’s profile in the bar, and the resemblance had reminded him of Fang Xieyi. Even now, as he sat across from Fang Xieyi, he couldn’t help but think of Qin Sheng.

That young man had said similar words, kissed his cheek, and promised to make him happier than anyone else.

He had seemed so sincere.

For a moment, Xu Zhan felt a lump in his throat, and his eyes welled up with tears. He quickly turned his head away to look out the window, preventing himself from breaking down.

“I’m sorry,” he said to Fang Xieyi, “Let’s just forget it. I’m not interested in dating anyone right now.”

Fang Xieyi silently watched Xu Zhan’s profile, vaguely understanding what was going on from his words.

He suddenly recalled the time he met Xu Zhan again in Xiangshi. Xu Zhan had walked past him to the other side, where a young man on a motorcycle was waiting.

Xu Zhan’s eyes had instantly brightened.

At that time, he had his suspicions, and now, thinking back to that scene, it took on a new meaning.

But he didn’t say anything.

He quietly took a sip of his cold lemon water, calmly cutting into the grilled lamb chop on his plate.

“Alright, I respect your choice,” he finally said.

He had arrived too late.

Youthful infatuation only came once, and the precious expression of love that Xu Zhan had offered couldn’t be repeated.

Although they didn’t become lovers, thanks to Fang Xieyi’s carefree attitude, there was no entanglement. Their relationship broke the ice, and occasionally bumping into each other in the university felt like being back in high school.

Xu Zhan sat with Fang Xieyi on a bench under a camphor tree downstairs, watching the students passing by in front of them.

He asked Fang Xieyi, “How’s the college student you’ve been dating lately?”

Fang Xieyi made a somewhat awkward expression and said, “Boring. Whenever we go out, it’s just shopping.”

Xu Zhan smiled and shook his head. It was easy to have a physical relationship, but serious dating was difficult. He had genuinely moved on from Fang Xieyi and now saw him more as a buddy, hoping he’d find the right partner.

Xu Zhan lowered his head and checked his phone. Suddenly, he received a news notification that left him looking stunned.

Fang Xieyi noticed and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Xu Zhan replied, putting his phone away. He thanked Fang Xieyi for the coffee and went back to his office, but when he sat in his office, he couldn’t help but glance at his phone again.

The news notification didn’t contain anything special, just a report about a recent fashion red carpet event, with various celebrities and socialites showcasing their outfits. However, Xu Zhan saw a familiar face among them.

Italian socialite Aurora had always been a prominent figure in the fashion world, managing several accounts and gracing the covers of many magazines. Her relationship with her fiancé had always been discreet. However, recently, he had been frequently photographed alongside her, seemingly unashamed. This had garnered much attention from paparazzi, turning them into headline news. With their good looks and childhood sweetheart story, it was excellent feed for gossip magazines to speculate about their eventual breakup or marriage.

Xu Zhan couldn’t help but wonder if this was intentional on Qin Sheng’s part. Earlier, his engagement had been kept extremely private, with very few people having seen him as Aurora’s fiancé, However, recently, he had been making public appearances more frequently.

Yet, Xu Zhan quickly realized how absurd his thoughts were. Perhaps Qin Sheng, after being with him, had also realized the stability and reliability of his fiancée and decided to settle down. His fiancée was indeed an outstanding woman, highly educated, beautiful, poised, and successful in her own right. It was no surprise that people praised their relationship.

Xu Zhan glanced at the news on his phone for a while but eventually turned off the screen, placing it back in the drawer. He resumed reading the manuscript he had in his hands. Still, he found himself repeatedly lost in thought.

He thought that he would probably see news of Qin Sheng’s wedding sooner or later. The heir of the Qin family and the daughter of an Italian tycoon, even if they wanted to keep a low profile, their union was bound to attract media attention.

It was fine.

Xu Zhan even felt a bit of anticipation. Like a terminally ill patient waiting for the final poison to seep in, the agony penetrating his bones.

But what he eventually received was the news of the cancellation of Qin Sheng’s engagement.

The news was everywhere, as if it were some groundbreaking revelation. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think it was a major scandal. Yet, there was no infidelity, no disagreement; it was just an amicable breakup.

One week after this engagement was called off, Xu Zhan saw someone he thought was thousands of miles away right outside his apartment building.

As Xu Zhan walked back from his evening stroll, he spotted a black sports car parked in front of the apartment building. A tall figure leaned against the car, broad-shouldered and long-legged. The man’s hair had grown slightly longer since their last parting, and he turned to look at Xu Zhan with the same face that was favored by the Creator—perfect features, even, and an innate air of pride and nobility.

He held a cigarette in his hand and had looked rather dispirited. But upon seeing Xu Zhan, he froze in place.

It was on a May evening, just before the arrival of summer. The evening breeze was intoxicatingly warm, carrying with it the fragrance of damp grass and flowers. It tugged at the heartstrings, needlessly stirring emotions.

Qin Sheng stood up straight, staring at Xu Zhan with a hint of disbelief.

It had been eighty-one days since they parted ways.

Qin Sheng: Is there anyone who waits three years to pursue their ex-partner? Is there? I came back in less than three months.

Lu Zhao: Get lost.