Don’t Ignite It chapter 82
Difficult to Escape Blame – Xu Zhan × Ruan Sen (11)
Xu Zhan didn’t notice Ruan Sen’s change in expression; he hung his head, his expression somewhat complex. He didn’t intend to provoke Ruan Sen’s jealousy, and he didn’t believe Ruan Sen would be jealous. It’s just that this matter had been lingering in his heart for a long time, and he always wanted to confide in someone. Recently, the only person who knew everything was Ruan Sen.
He said, “He told me that, in fact, it was his fault back then. He didn’t understand his own feelings and didn’t handle his sexuality correctly, which is why he rejected me in that way. He was wrong, not me.”
Xu Zhan paused for a moment, recalling the chocolate that Fang Xieyi had given him in the end, as if they were still eighteen, with him sitting by the window, and Fang Xieyi suddenly appearing with sweet candies. Even over the course of the past ten years, he couldn’t avoid thinking about Fang Xieyi.
But back then, the boy who smiled at him by the window and handed him one side of the earphones did indeed brighten that part of his life.
He continued, “He asked me, if he hadn’t made a mistake back then and hadn’t rejected me, what kind of future would we have had…”
By this point, Ruan Sen couldn’t conceal the anger in his expression. He coldly looked at Xu Zhan, his hand pressing against Xu Zhan’s waist like a venomous snake ready to strike in the next second.
He slowly tightened his grip on Xu Zhan, his lips intimately pressed against the back of Xu Zhan’s neck, but he also seemed to be tempted to take a bite on that snowy white neck.
“So, how did you respond? Did you agree? Did a few sweet words from him soften your heart? Your first love doesn’t even know what kind of person he is. He might be failing outside and turning to deceive you,” Ruan Sen taunted, his tone filled with sarcasm. He knew he wasn’t a good person, but years of upbringing shouldn’t have made him slander others like this. However, he couldn’t control himself. “Only a fool would fall for it. If you really agreed to him, then get ready to be deceived again.”
Xu Zhan let out a painful groan.
Ruan Sen’s hand slipped under his clothes, deliberately causing him pain due to his inability to control his anger. Yet, it wasn’t just pain; there was also a tingling sensation rising from his tailbone.
Struggling, Xu Zhan turned his head with difficulty, but Ruan Sen pressed him down on the sofa by his shoulder. The cold leather of the sofa rubbed against his face. His eyes were blindfolded with a ribbon he didn’t know where Ruan Sen had found, and his hands were held behind his back, fastened with a clasp, but he couldn’t break free.
“Ruan Sen, what are you doing…” Xu Zhan was a bit flustered. “I didn’t…”
But before he could finish speaking, he felt a chill on his body as the buttons on his shirt snapped and fell to the ground.
Ruan Sen looked down at Xu Zhan from a superior position.
He felt strange about himself as well.
He didn’t really believe that Xu Zhan wanted to rekindle his relationship with his first love, but thinking about the important place this person had once held in Xu Zhan’s heart and now seeing him eagerly seeking reconciliation, it ignited a burst of anger in his heart.
This anger was giving him a headache.
He was born privileged, which had nurtured his arrogance. He had always been able to get whatever he wanted, and he had grown up in the admiration of others’ eyes, even Xu Zhan had looked at him with admiration and infatuation from the first glance.
But now he was thinking that he might not be that special to Xu Zhan.
No matter how unbearable that first love might have been, it had once been Xu Zhan’s beloved. Now that the beloved had turned back, Xu Zhan couldn’t possibly have no emotional response.
Thinking about this, he couldn’t restrain the resentment in his heart. His palm lightly covered Xu Zhan’s throat, not applying pressure, but because the throat was so delicate, it sent a shiver down his spine involuntarily.
Xu Zhan lay on the sofa, trembling slightly.
Ruan Sen stared at Xu Zhan without any hesitation.
Xu Zhan was undeniably beautiful. He possessed a kind of male gentleness and handsomeness, yet also carried a natural submissiveness, as if he could willingly devote himself to the one he loved at any moment, but at the same time, he was like a calm lake, allowing any passerby to find solace in him.
It was contradictory but also enchanting.
Especially now, with his eyes covered, his fair skin, trembling lips, he looked like a fallen deity, like a saint wrongly accused, which only ignited a cruel desire in Ruan Sen’s heart even more.
Ruan Sen never considered himself a gentleman.
He lowered his head and sealed Xu Zhan’s lips with his own.
He said in a leisurely manner, “Professor Xu, let’s play a game. Today, you’ll be the student, and I’ll be your professor. I’ll ask you questions, and you’ll be an honest student.”
Xu Zhan was puzzled. Losing his sight made him even more anxious now. Everything was dark before him, and his sense of touch was amplified for a moment.
He involuntarily arched his back, looking somewhat pitiful and flustered.
Ruan Sen asked gently, “The first question, how long did you spend with your first love today? What did you do?”
Only now did Xu Zhan grasp the meaning of the questioning. He replied with difficulty, “We didn’t… we didn’t do much, just had coffee and chatted for a while.”
Ruan Sen chuckled sarcastically, “Coffee, huh? You do have the luxury of time.”
He continued, “The second question, if he hadn’t rejected you, what kind of future do you think you would have together? I’m curious.”
Xu Zhan shook his head. Perhaps it was too hot in the room, or maybe he was nervous, but he had broken out in a thin layer of sweat. “There is no future. There’s no ‘if’ between us anymore.”
This answer satisfied Ruan Sen somewhat, but it wasn’t enough.
His deep eyes bore into Xu Zhan as he asked the final question, “So, when you think of this first love now, seeing that he still can’t forget the past… Do you feel any heartache?”
There was a hint of sourness in his tone that he couldn’t quite contain.
What had eighteen-year-old Xu Zhan been like? Xu Zhan doing homework by the window, Xu Zhan dozing off in class—Ruan Sen had never witnessed any of that.
Yet, that bastard could have it all.
This made him, in his jealousy, bite Xu Zhan’s finger again.
Xu Zhan winced in pain but remained silent for a while, not immediately answering the question.
This was not because he didn’t know how to respond. Fang Xieyi was already a closed chapter. The one who had loved Fang Xieyi was the eighteen-year-old Xu Zhan, not the current one. His affections now belonged to someone else.
Xu Zhan blinked behind the satin ribbon and softly said, “No.”
Ruan Sen snorted coldly, feeling somewhat pleased yet still somewhat doubtful. But the next moment, he heard Xu Zhan say, “Because I’ve fallen in love with someone else.”
Ruan Sen froze.
His fingers lingered on Xu Zhan’s collarbone, where there was still a lingering mark of a kiss, one he had bitten. He saw Xu Zhan’s eyelashes tremble gently behind the ribbon, a mix of unease, rawness, and relief.