Don’t Ignite It chapter 79
Difficult to Escape Blame – Xu Zhan x Ruan Sen (8)
After returning from Yinhe City, Xu Zhan found himself caught up in busyness. He and Xia Yu went to visit some relatives. A distant relative had passed away, leaving behind an adorable child who was not even two years old. Both of their families hoped that they would adopt this child.
Xu Zhan had always considered adopting a child, but Xia Yu was still like a child himself, and he hadn’t brought up the topic. But now, as he held the hand of a child named Xu Shaoshao and kissed the soft cheek, all he could think of was Ruan Sen’s face.
This made him feel unexpectedly heavy, even as he continued to gently comfort Xu Shaoshao.
After leaving the relative’s home, he returned home with Xia Yu and sat alone on the windowsill for a long time. His legally recognized partner was sleeping in another room, and he stared at the mist on the window, wondering what Ruan Sen was doing.
He checked the calendar.
With only six days left until the three-month deadline, Ruan Sen hadn’t been calling him much lately, and he no longer asked when he would come to the hotel. The two of them had gradually grown distant without a word.
If he continued like this, when he visited the seaside villa in Yinhe City in about a week, it would probably be empty.
When Ruan Sen wanted to, he could make a person feel like they were on cloud nine, but when he withdrew, he would do so decisively.
Xu Zhan held his phone, looking at Ruan Sen’s messages on the screen, thinking that this might be how escorts behaved.
The care and attention he had bought with money could only last for three months, not a day longer. Once that deadline was crossed, this person who had made his heart flutter uncontrollably would disappear like a mirage.
However, on the third-to-last day, Xu Zhan’s car once again stopped at the entrance of the villa he shared with Ruan Sen.
Before getting out of the car, he sat in the car for a while, wondering if when he entered, Ruan Sen would already be packing his bags, perhaps just in time for a farewell dinner.
But in the end, he still got out of the car, opened the door, and entered the villa.
The villa was very quiet, and he instinctively went to the pool area first, but Ruan Sen wasn’t there. He then went to the bedroom and was surprised to see Ruan Sen lying in bed in broad daylight.
Xu Zhan found it a bit strange. He sat down on the edge of the bed and saw that Ruan Sen was just lying there, not asleep, but his face was a bit flushed.
“What’s wrong with you?” He touched Ruan Sen’s forehead; it seemed a bit warm. “Are you ill?”
Ruan Sen shook his head, his voice a bit hoarse. “Just a cold, with a slight fever.”
Ruan Sen was a bit perplexed himself, and he raised his hand to cover his face. Perhaps being sick made people want to act spoiled, especially when Xu Zhan was looking at him with such gentle concern, appearing anxious and caring.
Ruan Sen shifted his body and, acting completely justified, nestled on Xu Zhan’s lap. He complained, “I fell asleep by the pool yesterday and didn’t dry my hair. When I woke up, I had a slight cold. I haven’t been sick in seven or eight years.”
He was feeling a bit resentful, as he had always been strong and had good endurance. Falling ill all of a sudden, especially in front of Xu Zhan, made him feel a bit embarrassed.
But Xu Zhan just lovingly stroked his forehead and softly said, “Just don’t do this next time.”
Xu Zhan asked again, “Have you taken any medicine?”
Ruan Sen shook his head. “Why bother with medicine? I can handle this little cold.”
Xu Zhan didn’t insist and simply found a thermometer, helping him measure his temperature.
It was 37.5 degrees, which wasn’t really a problem. Xu Zhan couldn’t help but think that Ruan Sen’s good physical condition was probably the reason why it was only this mild. If it were Xia Yu, his temperature would probably have already gone over 38 degrees, and he’d be lying in bed groaning and wrapped in a blanket.
“If you don’t want to take medicine, that’s fine,” Xu Zhan said, checking the time. It was almost dinner time. “Have some porridge tonight, something light.”
Ruan Sen responded with a soft “okay.”
He watched as Xu Zhan found a fever-reducing patch from somewhere and slapped it onto his forehead.
Ruan Sen was a bit bewildered; he hadn’t used one of these things since kindergarten.
Xu Zhan also found it amusing and couldn’t help but smile, giving Ruan Sen’s face a gentle stroke. “You look like a little kid like this.”
His voice was low and hoarse, as if he were comforting someone.
Ruan Sen wanted to retort, but he pursed his lips and didn’t say anything.
He reclined on Xu Zhan’s lap again and mumbled, “I have a headache.”
Xu Zhan gently massaged his temples.
The two of them didn’t say much, and the evening sun was setting outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, almost disappearing below the horizon. The sea breeze rustled, and even with the windows closed, it seemed like they could catch a hint of the sea’s salty scent.
Ruan Sen thought to himself that did he really feel that unwell? Not really. In the past, he had fallen from a horse and even fractured his leg, but he hadn’t made a fuss.
However, Xu Zhan seemed to have a kind of magic. Whenever he was around, Ruan Sen felt at ease, and he became more carefree and willful, knowing that whatever he needed, Xu Zhan would respond.
He slightly opened his eyes and looked at Xu Zhan. Xu Zhan’s long eyelashes were slightly lowered, and he exuded a natural elegance and grace, like a gentleman nurtured in an aristocratic family, with a refined and restrained demeanor.
Perhaps because of the low fever, Ruan Sen didn’t know why, but his cheeks felt a bit flushed.
Ruan Sen had a low-grade fever for two days, and Xu Zhan took care of him during those two days. On the second day, Ruan Sen said he didn’t want to eat dinner from the hotel, so Xu Zhan cooked noodle soup himself.
Ruan Sen ate quickly. His brief bout of illness from the previous night had only lasted until midnight, and that day he was energetic again. Xu Zhan almost suspected that he was faking it.
But Xu Zhan also prepared a plate of fruits for Ruan Sen. The two of them sat in the living room and watched a movie. When the movie reached the end and the credits started rolling, Xu Zhan’s phone alarm went off.
Xu Zhan turned it off but stared at his phone for a while.
Ruan Sen noticed that Xu Zhan seemed absent-minded and asked, “What’s wrong?”
Xu Zhan hesitated for a moment, then smiled faintly and showed the calendar on his phone to Ruan Sen.
“Tomorrow is the 13th, three months have passed, and you should leave.”
He said it calmly. Even though they had been affectionate just a moment ago, with their fingers intertwined, when he spoke of parting, he didn’t show any signs of sadness. Only his eyelashes fluttered slightly.
Ruan Sen fell silent for a moment and didn’t speak for a long time. He lowered his head to look at their joined hands, held intimately together. It wasn’t something he had intentionally done; he didn’t know when it had become like this.
In fact, he had already prepared to leave. He had already packed his luggage in the guest bedroom these past few days, wondering what kind of gift to leave for Xu Zhan. He knew deep down that Xu Zhan’s affection for him had exceeded his expectations.
Whether it was for Xu Zhan’s sake or his own, he should leave cleanly and disappear from Xu Zhan’s life. Although there would be regrets, in a few more months, Xu Zhan would forget about him.
Just as he had said, he was naturally carefree and free-spirited, not one to linger for anyone. And Xu Zhan would eventually meet a good man who, like him, was well-mannered, loved family, and was suitable for a long-term commitment.
But now that Xu Zhan had calmly declared that this relationship should end here, he felt torn inside. Just the thought of Xu Zhan belonging to someone else one day, hugging and kissing others, made him feel restless and angry.
“Do you want me to leave that badly?” He sneered at Xu Zhan, his eyes cold, but there was a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. “Three months seem to be enough for me, but are you ready to move on to the next person?”
He despised himself inwardly. His demeanor made him look like an escort who relied on youth to make a living and wasn’t satisfied with being dismissed by his benefactor. But he couldn’t control himself.
He couldn’t help but think, once he left, all of Xu Zhan’s tenderness, the goodnight kisses, the soups made by hand, and the evenings spent watching TV together would belong to someone else. Who would be worthy of Xu Zhan?
He ruffled his slightly curly hair and felt that he was full of contradictions. He didn’t know what reaction Xu Zhan needed to show to satisfy him.
The one leaving was him, and the one who wanted Xu Zhan to hold onto attachment was also him.
Xu Zhan pressed his phone against his chest and hesitated. Three months had been more than enough. This dream-like relationship should end now. He might be fond of Ruan Sen, but he understood that this young man was not a suitable partner for a long-term commitment. Ruan Sen was too bold and unrestrained, and his eyes reflected a lack of stability.
But after two minutes of silence, Xu Zhan spoke in a low voice, “I didn’t think about finding the next one. I just wanted to ask you if you want to stay by my side for another three months.”
The reversal came too quickly, like a tornado.