Don’t Ignite It chapter 52
Starting Anew
In the end, Lu Zhao slept beside Xia Yu, as per Xia Yu’s request.
He kicked Lu Zhao’s leg out from under the blanket, no longer in the drowsy state he had been earlier. Xia Yu seemed more lively now, behaving somewhat bossy. “Come up here; I can’t sleep well alone.”
Lu Zhao complied.
After lying down on the bed, Xia Yu buried his face in Lu Zhao’s arm, wanting Lu Zhao to hold him. Then, he let out a gentle sigh.
Although holding hands brought comfort, he preferred being held.
Whether it was during those three years with Lu Zhao or lying in his arms now, pressed against Lu Zhao’s chest, he always felt comfortable, as if soaking in gentle spring water, making his bones turn soft.
Lu Zhao now had the same fragrance of lavender shower gel as him. Lying in the warm blanket, he looked exceptionally gentle.
Lu Zhao kissed Xia Yu’s forehead, nose, and made Xia Yu feel a bit ticklish.
He asked, “You said earlier that if I answered correctly, you’d exchange a secret with me. What is it?”
Xia Yu chuckled softly, “Did I say you answered correctly?”
Lu Zhao pursed his lips, unable to respond.
Indeed, no one knew what Xia Yu’s answer was.
The questioner and the judge were the same person, with the ultimate interpretation.
He didn’t press further, but his gray-blue eyes were focused on Xia Yu, clearly eager to know.
Xia Yu thought irritably that Lu Zhao’s eyes were really breaking the rules.
He whispered, “It’s not such a big secret.”
He hesitated after saying half of it. His fingers traced Lu Zhao’s wrist under the blanket as he clutched Lu Zhao’s sleeve.
Their eyes locked.
He and Lu Zhao rarely lay together so quietly, at least not since they reunited.
Every time he sought out Lu Zhao, it was for sex. It was as if that was Lu Zhao’s only value to him, and he didn’t need Lu Zhao to provide any emotional support. As long as they were satisfied, it was enough.
But in reality, three years ago, they used to lie together like this often. After Lu Zhao finished his projects and he completed his schoolwork, they were just like the most ordinary couple under the sun, cuddling intimately and chatting casually.
He would tell Lu Zhao about wanting to eat Italian food next week, how cute the professor’s dog was, and how someone had lit candles under the dorm building to confess their love, only to be chased away by the dorm supervisor.
His stories were aimless, rambling, and full of digressions, but Lu Zhao would always listen.
When he reached a funny point, Lu Zhao would also laugh along, and the way Lu Zhao looked at him could even be described as tender.
How could he not fantasize and think that Lu Zhao loved him?
They spent three years together like a couple. Lu Zhao had his bad moments, but he also gave him countless chances. How could he not feel a bit self-assured and think he was somewhat special to Lu Zhao?
And now, Lu Zhao was staring at him with such concentration, his eyes filled with unmistakable affection.
This affection was three years late, but it had finally arrived.
Xia Yu tightened his grip on Lu Zhao’s hand, and his heart felt a sourness that couldn’t be put into words, as if someone had pinched it tightly and then let go, leaving him almost breathless.
In fact, he had thought countless times that if Lu Zhao had realized three years ago how to love someone, they would have been the happiest couple in the world.
But at this moment, he suddenly didn’t want to dwell on the past anymore. Three years was a long time, but the future was even longer.
He pinched Lu Zhao’s hand in his palm, murmuring softly, “I’ll give you another chance, be serious this time, express your feelings clearly to me.”
Lu Zhao didn’t know why Xia Yu suddenly made this request.
For a moment, he felt a bit at a loss.
No matter how many times Xia Yu wanted to hear “I love you,” he was willing to say it, but he wasn’t good at expressing his feelings.
He held Xia Yu’s face in his hands, appearing calm on the surface but with a slight tremble in his fingertips. “I don’t know how to make a good confession, but I will treat you well. I’ll travel the world with you, adopt a child with you, and raise a cat and a dog with you. Even if you don’t love me, I will always love you. One hundred years from now, we’ll still be together. One hundred years from now, we’ll still be buried together, and I’ll be with you until the end of our lives.”
Xia Yu was about to burst into laughter.
Who includes being buried together a hundred years later in a confession? It was strange yet sincere.
He thought, it would have been better if he didn’t love Lu Zhao. But he couldn’t help it.
He couldn’t do it three years ago, and it was the same three years later.
Just now, as he sat by the fountain, he thought that no matter who appeared in front of him at that moment, he would fall in love with that person in a second.
But that was actually a lie.
Only when Lu Zhao appeared did his heart skip a beat in a second.
He said to Lu Zhao, “Although you proposed to me and offered a large prenuptial settlement, I still don’t want to marry you.”
Lu Zhao’s heart sank.
But a few seconds later, he heard Xia Yu say, “I’ve never been in a real romantic relationship. I’m twenty-six years old, had a friends-with-benefits, had a husband, but strangely, I’ve never had a boyfriend. I feel like I’m missing out a bit.”
Lu Zhao keenly sensed something, especially when Xia Yu mentioned having ‘had’ a husband.
He stared at Xia Yu without blinking, his breath growing heavier.
Xia Yu sniffed, “You’re not qualified to be my fiancé yet, but you can apply for the position of a boyfriend. Interested?”
Lu Zhao answered at the fastest speed in his life.
“Yes.”
He hugged Xia Yu tightly, too tightly, his arms even trembled a bit.
Xia Yu leaned against his chest, his eyes a bit moist, and he said softly, “The secret I mentioned is that I met with Xu Zhan today to discuss a divorce. We’re going to separate. Xu Zhan is a great person and a good husband, but we still have to go our separate ways.”
His feelings for Xu Zhan weren’t love, but there was genuine sadness. However, he knew this was just a passing pain, something he could endure. It was nothing like the lasting emptiness that Lu Zhao had once left him with.
Lu Zhao’s heart pounded.
He looked at Xia Yu as if he were in disbelief, like a condemned prisoner who had been pushed onto the guillotine only to be granted a reprieve.
Xia Yu was getting a divorce.
That sentence weighed heavily on his heart, making it hard to breathe.
He had hoped for this moment countless times, staying awake all night in the depths of a foreign night, imagining Xia Yu being held by someone else, suffering in pain.
But now that this had truly happened, he couldn’t believe it. He feared it was just a mirage.
“Are you serious?” Lu Zhao cradled Xia Yu’s face, his outward composure hiding a slight trembling in his fingertips. “Can you say it again?”
Xia Yu found Lu Zhao a bit troublesome.
He pushed Lu Zhao away slightly, a bit impatient. “It’s the same no matter how many times I say it. You didn’t hear wrong. Xu Zhan and I are separating. But this was a serious discussion between us, and it has nothing to do with you. Xu Zhan wants to be with his lover, and I chose to step aside. That’s it.”
It wasn’t because of Lu Zhao.
If Xu Zhan had no intention of divorcing him, he could have stayed with Xu Zhan forever, even if it meant moving into a nursing home together.
But then he stopped speaking.
He suddenly stared wide-eyed, his ability to speak lost in an instant.
Because he saw Lu Zhao cry.
Lu Zhao had always been synonymous with cold, hard strength. From a young age, he had been impassive and silent, as if he were born without emotional fluctuations. Even at his mother’s funeral, he had maintained his composure, as if he were indestructible, capable of overcoming anything.
But now, Lu Zhao was looking at him, silent tears falling one by one.
Xia Yu had seen Lu Zhao with red eyes before and witnessed moments when Lu Zhao lost control.
But he had never seen Lu Zhao cry so clearly, even though Lu Zhao remained incredibly composed, not appearing particularly distressed.
Xia Yu hesitantly touched Lu Zhao’s face.
Perhaps this was the equivalent of his world collapsing. He had always thought that Lu Zhao didn’t have tear ducts.
Lu Zhao slowly embraced Xia Yu, and this time, Xia Yu didn’t push him away.
He buried his head in Xia Yu’s neck.
“Thank you,” he whispered softly.
He didn’t care who Xia Yu divorced for, but at least in this moment, Xia Yu had truly forgiven him.
Even if Xia Yu hadn’t agreed to marry him, they were finally starting anew.
“Thank you for not giving up on me,” Lu Zhao said softly.
Xia Yu’s back stiffened, but after a while, he gradually relaxed.
He reached out his hand and slowly returned Lu Zhao’s embrace.
He hadn’t forgiven Lu Zhao’s foolishness, arrogance, stubbornness, which had caused them to miss three years and waste six years.
But Xu Zhan had started a new life.
He wanted to give himself a chance to move on as well.
He was hopelessly in love with the man holding him. It had all started with a smile from Lu Zhao by the library window, a smile that had captivated him for so many years.
He gave up struggling.
Even if Lu Zhao wasn’t perfect, he was willing to give him a chance.
He gently patted Lu Zhao’s back, and at this moment, he was far calmer than Lu Zhao.
He was the one who had put down the butcher’s knife. He had once wanted to hurt Lu Zhao so badly, to make him beg for mercy, but in the end, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
He smiled faintly, his nose tingling a bit. “You’d better behave, or I might kick you out at any moment.”
Lu Zhao hugged him tightly. “Okay.”
He would.
This time, when he held onto Xia Yu, he would never let go.
The only reason a broken relationship can be restored is love.
Let Lu Zhao enjoy his happiness for a while. The Xia family still has a tough battle ahead for him to face…