Don’t Ignite It chapter 29

A Negative Example

When Xia Yu entered the house, he found that Xu Zhan was still awake, sitting in the living room and reading a book.

Xia Yu walked over slowly, plopped down next to Xu Zhan, and rested his head on Xu Zhan’s lap.

Xu Zhan casually stroked Xia Yu’s head and joked, “Back from a date?”

He knew why Xia Yu had been coming home late recently.

“Yeah,” Xia Yu replied, poking the stuffed cat in his arms.

Xu Zhan noticed it and picked up the small cat, furrowing his brow with curiosity. “Did you buy this?” he asked.

Bringing back a small cat toy after a date made it seem like a gift from a date. But who would give another adult a stuffed toy?

Not even his young lover in his early twenties would do that; he would give him different kinds of condoms instead.

Thinking about this made Xu Zhan feel a bit awkward, and his face flushed.

Xia Yu shrugged and said, “I won it while playing the claw machine. We got it together after watching the movie.”

He adjusted his position, lying down on Xu Zhan’s lap. The stuffed cat covered half of his face.

Xu Zhan looked at Xia Yu and asked, “Then why do you look so unhappy? Aren’t you supposed to be happy after a date? Did he upset you?”

Xia Yu closed his eyes and replied, “No.”

He couldn’t put it into words. He hadn’t been unhappy at all during the entire evening, but he still felt restless.

But he didn’t want to dig too deep into it.

He moved the stuffed cat away and asked Xu Zhan, “What about you? You’ve been at home these past few days. Aren’t you going to see Ruan Sen?”

“Yeah, he’s been busy lately and said he couldn’t meet me,” Xu Zhan replied.

Xia Yu couldn’t understand. “What could he be busy with?”

Because it was someone Xu Zhan liked, Xia Yu didn’t want to be too explicit. But for a professional escort and sugar baby, accompanying a generous client should be the only task.

“He didn’t tell me; he just mentioned some family matters,” Xu Zhan said. “He hasn’t talked much about his family, only that his parents have a rocky relationship, and his family doesn’t pay much attention to him.”

This made Xu Zhan feel a bit sorry for Ruan Sen.

When Ruan Sen talked about it, his expression was quite indifferent. As a young man in his early twenties, he seemed completely unaffected, as if he didn’t care at all.

But Xu Zhan, sitting on the hotel bed, couldn’t help but wonder if things would have been different for this young man if he had met him earlier. They might not have met in a nightclub, but under the shade of a tree at school.

He knew he was being unrealistic, but he couldn’t help asking Xia Yu, “Do you think if I helped him go back to college, he would be willing?”

“Who? Ruan Sen?” Xia Yu’s brow furrowed, unsure of how to respond.

“He’s been away from school for so long; going back might be difficult for him,” Xia Yu said. “And does he even want to?”

He looked at Xu Zhan with some concern.

Recently, Xia Yu had been busy with the art gallery and had been sneaking away to meet Lu Zhao, so he hadn’t paid much attention to Xu Zhan’s emotional progress. After all, Xu Zhan had said they would break up.

But now, counting on his fingers, it had been almost two months since Xu Zhan had told him that, and yet this escort was still firmly by his side.

Hearing that Ruan Sen might not want to go back to school, Xu Zhan looked even more disappointed.

Xia Yu looked at Xu Zhan thoughtfully and asked, “You’re not… falling for him, are you?”

Xia Yu was very familiar with that expression.

Back when he had fallen into Lu Zhao’s web, he had the same expression, infatuated and unable to resist thinking about that person.

“I don’t know,” Xu Zhan replied without refuting it.

His gaze was deep as he looked ahead. “I’m happy when I’m with him. Sometimes when I’m in class, I look at the students in front of me and wish he was sitting there.”

He was a bit confused and lowered his head to look at Xia Yu. “I want to give him a better life, a stable one, without wandering around. If something happens, he can come to me for help, and I’ll be there when he needs company. Is that love?”

Xia Yu was stunned.

If this wasn’t love, then what was?

Especially when Xu Zhan was asking seriously.

Although he was twenty-nine years old, Xu Zhan had a very limited history of relationships, with only one unrequited love that had fizzled out.

And his relationship with Ruan Sen had started out quite absurd, making it difficult for him to judge.

For a moment, Xia Yu wanted to tell Xu Zhan that this wasn’t love, that he shouldn’t invest his emotions in an escort. It was even more unrealistic than Xia Yu falling in love with Lu Zhao.

But when he looked into Xu Zhan’s eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to say that. In the end, he could only say hesitantly, “I don’t know. It could be, but it could also be feelings born out of physical intimacy.”

“Is that so?” Xu Zhan’s voice still sounded a bit uncertain, but his gaze wandered, and he thought of Ruan Sen.

A young, sexy, and handsome man, bare-chested, bathed in sunlight like Apollo from mythology, exuding a sense of power, every casual glance stealing hearts.

He had initially convinced himself that it was just a physical attraction to Ruan Sen.

But…

“I thought so at first, that it might just be physical attraction,” Xu Zhan continued. “But then I realized that when we’re not in bed, just being with him is also enjoyable. Whether it’s going for a drive, watching a movie, or going to a nightclub.”

He added, “You know I don’t really like nightclubs, but when I’m with him, I feel like the night is wonderful.”

Xia Yu’s heart skipped a beat.

Enjoyable even without being in bed.

He bit his lip and didn’t say anything for a while. After a moment, he said, “Well, if you already know that, why are you asking me?”

Xu Zhan smiled but sighed.

Indeed, a twenty-nine-year-old man who didn’t know who he loved was quite ridiculous.

But he couldn’t be sure.

Walking hand in hand with Ruan Sen, feeling the touch of Ruan Sen’s long and strong fingers, he should have felt reassured. But he always had the feeling that this young man was like a mirage.

Like a dream.

One day, when he woke up, the other person would disappear.

The living room fell silent.

Xia Yu and Xu Zhan both sat there without speaking, lost in their own thoughts. After a while, they glanced at each other, paused, and then laughed.

Xia Yu slowly got up from Xu Zhan’s lap, sat up on the couch, and grabbed a pillow, saying to Xu Zhan, “Having a marriage like this is probably rare in the world.”

Not only did they have extramarital affairs, but they could also discuss it without any resentment. 

But they had once sworn in front of friends and family, pledging to stay together through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do them part.

Xia Yu squinted his eyes and suddenly realized that he couldn’t quite remember what it was like when he married Xu Zhan. He used to remember it very clearly, but now, when he tried to recall it, all he could remember were the varied expressions of the guests, his parents’ and brother’s mixed feelings, and Xu Zhan sliding the ring onto his finger.

But now, he subconsciously touched his left ring finger and felt nothing.

He wasn’t wearing it today.

Xu Zhan picked up a cup of tea from the table, took a sip, and suddenly remembered something. He said to Xia Yu, “My sister came by this afternoon.”

Xia Yu was surprised. “What did she come for?”

It wasn’t that he didn’t welcome Xu Zhan’s sister, but their respective parents and siblings rarely visited their small family.

That’s why he and Xu Zhan could live so freely, each sleeping in their own bedroom without any concealment.

“Don’t worry, she didn’t come into the room and didn’t stay long. She just stopped by to see us on her way and asked us to visit home more often,” Xu Zhan reassured him.

Xia Yu felt relieved and lay back on the couch.

A few days later, Xia Yu received a call from Lu Zhao, asking if he wanted to go on a business trip with him.

At first, Xia Yu didn’t want to go.

But Xu Zhan also had plans to go away for a few days, traveling with Ruan Sen, and had taken time off for it.

Xia Yu thought about it and agreed, but he told Lu Zhao, “I might come back after two days.”

The art gallery wasn’t busy these days, and slipping away for two days wouldn’t make a difference. However, he wasn’t sure if going out with Lu Zhao would be enjoyable, and he might not be able to stand it halfway through.

Lu Zhao agreed and said he would pick him up tomorrow afternoon.

That evening, Xia Yu and Xu Zhan packed their bags together. Xia Yu didn’t really want to tell Xu Zhan that he was going away with his lover. He felt he shouldn’t, out of politeness. Instead, he said he was going on a business trip, attending a few art exhibitions, meeting with the heads of some auction houses, and networking.

Xu Zhan didn’t suspect anything.

He finished packing his own things and helped Xia Yu check his. Xia Yu was always a bit absent-minded, and when he was at home, the servants took care of these details. But since he and Xu Zhan had been living together, Xu Zhan didn’t like strangers in the house, so he took care of everything himself.

He told Xia Yu, “It’s getting cold; don’t just focus on looking good. You could catch a cold just like last time.”

Xia Yu sat on the couch eating fruit and replied with an “Okay.”

He smiled at Xu Zhan and said, playfully, “Xu Zhan, you’re so nice, even nicer than my brother.”

Xu Zhan also smiled. “Next time I see him, I’ll tell Xia Jin.”

“Go ahead,” Xia Yu said without fear. “My brother really likes you. If I tell him, he’ll just think we have a good relationship.”

Xu Zhan chuckled and shook his head.

He had pulled both of their suitcases and placed them in the living room. After washing his hands, he sat down next to Xia Yu.

But he didn’t sit for long before he received a call from Ruan Sen.

Xia Yu originally thought that out of politeness, he shouldn’t eavesdrop on the conversation, but Xu Zhan probably wouldn’t mind, so he didn’t bother moving.

Xu Zhan didn’t mention anything embarrassing. His voice was gentle and slightly husky, as if the person on the other end of the phone was causing him some trouble.

“…Alright, I won’t be late.”

“I’m not doing anything. Yeah, I just forgot to check my phone because of some work-related matters.”

Xia Yu was stunned.

He glanced sideways at Xu Zhan, and under the soft lighting, Xu Zhan’s eyes were as tender as the sea, almost drowning him.

Xia Yu felt somewhat uneasy for no apparent reason.

Perhaps it was because he had been through such experiences before.

Seeing Xu Zhan deeply in love, completely infatuated with someone else, he always felt uncomfortable.

Love was a beautiful story when both parties were in love. It was a love story that would be passed down through the ages.

But when one person was infatuated and the other was not, it became a joke.

In the end, Xia Yu didn’t say anything and just felt disheartened.