Don’t Ignite It chapter 14

Overestimating Oneself

That evening, Xia Yu stayed at home as a matter of course. His room was on the second floor, and outside the balcony stood a century-old camphor tree, lush even in autumn, exuding a natural fragrance.

Before bedtime, the housekeeper, Wu A-Po, heated a bowl of milk for him, as if he were a child, watching him drink it.

Xia Yu obediently sipped the milk but then smiled. “A-Po, I’m not a baby anymore. There’s no need to make me drink milk every day.”

There was honey in the milk bowl.

Wu A-Po shook her head and spoke in the local dialect. “Just because you’re in your twenties doesn’t mean you’re not a little kid anymore. Although you’re married and considered an adult, when you come back, it’s still the same as before.”

She had watched Xia Yu grow up and, being a widow, had become a part of the Xia family over the decades of service. She treated Xia Yu like her own grandson.

Her rough hands gently touched Xia Yu’s face, and she said affectionately, “Make sure to come home more often. Although you’re doing well outside, your face is still so fair and tender. Our young master is quite handsome.”

Xia Yu laughed even harder.

He held Wu A-Po’s hand and, just like when he was a child, rubbed against it. “A-Po, you’re clearly biased. You think I’m better than everyone else.”

“Of course,” Wu A-Po replied matter-of-factly. No one could compare to her beloved little one, whom she had raised.

“Alright, go to bed early. If you need anything, ring the bell and I’ll get you whatever you need..”

Xia Yu watched A-Po leave and then returned to his bedroom. Originally, he was looking at his phone, but as he slowly sipped the sweet milk, he drifted into deep thought.

As the youngest son of the family, Xia Yu had always been loved by everyone in the family, even Wu A-Po showed favoritism towards him. However, in the past couple of years, he had rarely come back.

It wasn’t that he had become estranged from his family; it was because of his relentless pursuit of Lu Zhao, which had exasperated his family to no end. When he finally came to his senses, he felt embarrassed to face his family.

His family didn’t object to his preference for men, but he shouldn’t have fallen for someone like Lu Zhao, who had no interest in him and had even left him heartbroken and unrepentant.

His parents had sighed countless times behind his back, and his brother had been upset because of him.

That’s why Xu Zhan, who came later, was so well-liked by his family.

In reality, it might not have been because of Xu Zhan. Anyone who loved and treated him well would have been liked by his family.

After finishing the sweet milk, Xia Yu went to take a shower. When he came out, he noticed a missed call on his phone from Lu Zhao.

He had no intention of calling back, but the next moment, his phone vibrated again, and Lu Zhao’s name flashed on the screen.

Xia Yu hesitated for a moment and then answered, “Hello.”

“It’s me.”

“I know. It’s late. Is there something you need?”

Lu Zhao was taken aback by the question. Xia Yu’s voice sounded polite and distant, as if they were far apart.

“Nothing, just wanted to see where you are.”

Xia Yu leaned against the bed. “Where else could I be? I’m at home.”

“At your parents’ place?”

“Yeah, my brother came back today and brought my niece, so it’s a kind of family gathering.”

Lu Zhao felt a slight sting in his heart, and he knew it was wrong to ask, but he still couldn’t help himself. “Did Xu Zhan come too?”

“No, he had something to do today,” Xia Yu yawned, “but my parents have been asking about him. His status in the family is almost higher than mine.”

Lu Zhao fell into a deeper silence.

He sat in his office, looking out the window. He had just finished a meeting, and now the room was eerily quiet, accentuating his lonely reflection on the window.

He couldn’t help but ask about Xu Zhan, knowing that this person wasn’t by Xia Yu’s side. His heart felt a momentary relief, but Xia Yu quickly made it clear that whether Xu Zhan was present or not, he was still a part of the Xia family.

This made Lu Zhao jealous to the core.

He changed the subject. “I haven’t visited your home since I returned. I should find some time to go.”

Xia Yu was stunned by the suggestion and then asked incredulously, “Are you crazy? Do you think my family would welcome you?”

Of course, his parents couldn’t kick Lu Zhao out, but his brother might throw a punch at him.

“Lu Zhao, you need to have some self-awareness,” Xia Yu said earnestly.

Lu Zhao was well aware of how he was perceived in the Xia family.

But he replied, “We’ll inevitably run into each other in the future, at social events and business engagements. It’s unavoidable.”

That was true.

Xia Yu rolled his eyes. “Just don’t come to my house.”

Lu Zhao didn’t argue. After a while, he spoke in a low voice, “I used to visit your parents’ house with your brother often. The first time I visited, you were taking pictures under the camphor tree.”

Xia Yu thought for a moment and realized it was true.

He had seen Lu Zhao in the library, and he had been wondering how to approach him when his brother had brought him home.

At that time, he had been taking photos of ants moving under the tree. He looked like he wasn’t doing anything productive at all. But when he had finished playing and turned around, he saw the person he had been yearning for standing behind him, looking at him with an ambiguous smile.

He had been startled and nearly dropped his camera. Lu Zhao had gently caught it and handed it back to him.

“Are you Xia Yu?” Lu Zhao had asked with a smile. “I think I’ve seen you before.”

Xia Yu didn’t remember what he was wearing that day; he only remembered holding his camera and staring at Lu Zhao.

Thinking back now, every frame of Lu Zhao’s initial appearance in his life seemed exceptionally beautiful. Whether it was at the library or in his family’s garden.

Lu Zhao, the outstanding and introverted boy next door, possessed an inherent aloofness. But when he smiled, it seemed warm and affectionate, quietly conveying a sense of focus that made Xia Yu involuntarily feel like he was reflected in Lu Zhao’s eyes and even in his heart.

How could he not fall for that?

Xia Yu laughed, “I was indeed quite foolish back then. If I were smarter, I would have kept my distance from you and not overestimated myself. Then, we wouldn’t have had so many problems later on.”

The smile that had just appeared at the corner of Lu Zhao’s mouth froze.

Yawning on the other end of the phone, Xia Yu said, “You don’t have anything important to discuss, right? If not, I’m going to sleep.”

Lu Zhao asked, “Are you free this weekend? I received an invitation to a ceramics exhibition that you might like. Do you want to go together?”

Xia Yu’s interest waned.

He no longer had the desire to see Lu Zhao. After returning home and facing his family’s concern, and his brother’s repeated warnings, he felt a renewed sense of weariness towards Lu Zhao.

Lu Zhao was like a poisonous flower and a captivating but enigmatic snake. While he still held an attraction for him, these few days with Lu Zhao had made him feel like a child with a new toy, full of novelty.

But he had been stung by Lu Zhao’s poison once before, and he had learned his lesson.

A snake like Lu Zhao could be played with occasionally in the palm of one’s hand, but if he ever wanted to keep it close to his heart, he needed to be prepared for the venom to enter his heart.

“No, thanks,” Xia Yu said without beating around the bush. “I haven’t been interested in such things lately, and I’m too busy to go out.”

After saying that, he hung up the phone.

Lu Zhao listened to the busy tone on his phone, maintaining a posture that remained stiff for a long time.

It wasn’t until his secretary knocked on the door and handed him the financial report that he returned to his work.

But he couldn’t stop thinking about what Xia Yu had just said.

“Overestimating oneself.”

Xia Yu said he had fallen for him because he overestimated himself.

Lu Zhao wanted to refute this and tell Xia Yu that it wasn’t the case, that he had been happy when Xia Yu loved him. Xia Yu, like an affectionate puppy, used to snuggle into his arms, nibbling at his lips and the nape of his neck, acting flirty in his ear. It always made him involuntarily soften.

He wanted to lower his head and kiss Xia Yu during those moments.

However, back then, he had attributed these feelings to the physical intimacy side effects. He hadn’t given back to Xia Yu and hadn’t told him that this was, in fact, love.

Now that he wanted to say it, Xia Yu no longer wanted to hear it.