Difficult to Complete chapter 9

Gu Yan sat on the sofa in the hotel lobby, arms crossed, eyes closed, trying to rest. He looked calm and clear-headed, not at all like someone who had been drinking, but he had indeed had too much.

Most of the time, it was hard to tell whether Gu Yan was drunk or not; he just became less talkative. Those who didn’t know him well might think he had an incredible tolerance, but that was not true.

Gu Yan wasn’t someone who couldn’t get drunk, nor was he unapproachable. It’s just that when he had too much to drink, he became very sluggish and unable to pick up on external signals.

At such times, he was more like someone who was deaf and blind. What others said or did didn’t catch his eye or enter his heart; he completely shut himself off.

This was quite disadvantageous for Gu Yan. When he was in school, his friends were aware of his situation and didn’t mind. However, after starting work, it led to many misunderstandings. Either he stubbornly drank to the point of gastric bleeding, or leaders and partners thought he was cold, arrogant, and dismissive of them.

Shen Qi had often lost his temper with him because of this. Later, Gu Yan learned to control his drinking and, when he felt it was getting out of hand, would pretend to be drunk and talk nonsense, which saved a lot of trouble.

“Gu Yan, let’s go home,” Shen Qi said, bending down to support him. Gu Yan, however, remained unmoved, seemingly unable to hear, until Shen Qi grabbed his arm and pulled him off the sofa. Only then did Gu Yan slowly open his eyes and give Shen Qi a cold, indifferent glance.

But his feet still didn’t move.

Shen Qi wondered if he didn’t recognize him. He bitterly smiled but still tried to coax Gu Yan, repeatedly saying he would take him home.

Yet Gu Yan remained unresponsive, merely scrutinizing him with that cold, detached gaze, as if trying to recognize who he was.

The two remained in this stalemate for quite a while, even prompting the hotel doorman to come over and ask Shen Qi if he needed help.

Shen Qi politely declined the offer, but his heart grew more and more bitter.

In the past, he was special and unique in Gu Yan’s heart. Even if Gu Yan was dazed and didn’t recognize anyone else, as soon as he saw Shen Qi, his eyes would light up, and he would cling to him, embracing him tightly and kissing him.

It was as if he was the only one in Gu Yan’s world; as long as Shen Qi was there, Gu Yan’s world was bright and colorful.

But now…

“Gu Yan, let’s go home, okay?” Shen Qi’s voice unconsciously carried a hint of tears, sounding more like a plea than a request.

After a long moment, Gu Yan moved his fingers, grasped half of Shen Qi’s sleeve, and then slowly blinked twice, hesitantly calling out his name:

“Shen… Qi?”

The tears that Shen Qi had been holding back all evening finally surged uncontrollably. While he scrambled to wipe his tears, he responded to Gu Yan:

“Yes, it’s me. Let’s go home, okay?”

Gu Yan blinked again and replied, “Okay.”

Gu Yan did recognize him.

Shen Qi didn’t know whether to feel happy or sad. A strange, indescribable emotion filled his chest. For a moment, he both cried and smiled, looking like a madman, pathetic and laughable.

He hadn’t had a drop of alcohol, but he was more like someone who was drunk and crazy than Gu Yan was.

Gu Yan, Gu Yan, Gu Yan…

At this moment, his mind was filled with this person. Even though they were so close to each other, Shen Qi felt as if he hadn’t seen this person for a long, long time and missed him terribly.

…..

At the beginning of December, Gu Yan took his secretary and two young designers to Country A to see a well-known design exhibition. Upon returning, he received an invitation to dinner from Tan Xiaolei.

Since the club incident, Gu Yan had had dinner alone with Tan Xiaolei two or three times.

Of course, it wasn’t the so-called date Tan Xiaolei had mentioned before the competition. It was just casual meals, talking about work and life, which felt quite comfortable and relaxed.

But on the last occasion before he traveled to Country A, Tan Xiaolei insisted on clarifying their relationship and confessed his feelings to Gu Yan.

It turned out that Tan Xiaolei was also a university alumnus, from a year before Gu Yan, majoring in history, and now a history teacher at a local university.

He admitted that he had secretly had a crush on Gu Yan since university, which began when Gu Yan sang a song at a campus singer competition.

But at that time, Gu Yan had someone in his heart, and no matter how handsome or beautiful others were, they couldn’t catch his eye. Tan Xiaolei only quietly watched from a distance, never daring to get close or cross any boundaries.

The most extreme thing he did was become a friend of Gu Yan’s friends and sneakily observe Gu Yan’s updates from their social media.

Now that Gu Yan had broken up, he finally dared to step forward and express his feelings.

It was impossible not to be shocked. Gu Yan only realized at that moment that while he was looking at Shen Qi with all his heart and eyes, there was also another person looking at him in the same way.

Moreover, Tan Xiaolei had a very handsome face and always dressed in a trendy and avant-garde manner. Gu Yan couldn’t believe he was actually a history teacher.

How should he put it? Tan Xiaolei seemed very un-historical.

Gu Yan was no longer the naive youth he once was. Having opened his heart to someone, he naturally knew the value of love and wasn’t willing to casually discard or dismiss someone else’s affection. But he also couldn’t easily accept it.

He thanked Tan Xiaolei and said, “I’ve just ended a relationship and am not looking to date right now. Sorry.” It was half the truth, half an excuse.

Tan Xiaolei nodded in understanding and didn’t force him. He simply said they could start as friends and let Gu Yan get to know him slowly.

….

“Let’s have dinner together tonight. My treat,” Tan Xiaolei said cheerfully on the phone.

Gu Yan had just landed and was dragging his suitcase with one hand while holding the phone with the other. After confirming his evening schedule with his secretary, he apologetically responded:

“I have a meeting with a business partner tonight. Maybe another day.”

After becoming the deputy director, such dinner gatherings had become more frequent, many of which were unavoidable, and Gu Yan felt quite helpless.

However, that night’s dinner was not something he had to attend. He asked his secretary on purpose, intending for Tan Xiaolei to overhear.

As he had told Tan Xiaolei before, he wasn’t ready to accept a new relationship yet.

Tan Xiaolei seemed quite regretful but did not insist.

After hanging up the phone and leaving the terminal, Gu Yan realized it was raining outside. None of them had packed umbrellas, so the secretary went to buy one, but Gu Yan stopped him.

The rain wasn’t heavy, and they wouldn’t get too wet if they took a cab home. They could just take a hot shower when they got home—no need to be overly fussy.

They queued up in the taxi area. The rain came suddenly, and the number of people waiting for a taxi had doubled. Gu Yan leaned against his suitcase, looking down at his phone and reading the chat messages from Tang Yan and the others.

Someone hurriedly passed by him and accidentally bumped into his suitcase, causing it to slide forward. It was about to fall onto the platform below, but Gu Yan managed to catch it in time.

“I’m sorry, are you alright?” the person who bumped into him said, with a sincere tone.

Gu Yan paused, then slowly turned around to look down at the person who had bumped into his suitcase.

At that moment, the other person looked up, and their eyes met. Gu Yan saw shock and disbelief in their gaze. “Gu, Gu Yan.”

Amidst the crowd in the waiting area, it was a coincidence that it was Shen Qi who had bumped into him. It felt like a poorly written script.

Gu Yan nodded coldly, said nothing, and moved his suitcase to the side.

“Shen Qi Ge, what are you doing? Hurry up!” someone called out to Shen Qi.

The female voice was familiar to Gu Yan; he had heard it from Shen Qi’s phone a few months ago.

He instinctively looked in the direction of the voice and saw a young woman in a light gray trench coat among the rushing crowd. She was as beautiful and bright as Gu Yan had imagined.

Gu Yan shifted his gaze back, turned on his phone screen, and continued reading the chat messages. When he looked up a few minutes later, Shen Qi had already disappeared, likely having left with the woman named Lingling.

“Mr. Gu, our car has arrived,” the secretary reminded him. Gu Yan nodded, putting his phone in his pocket. “Let’s go.”