Difficult to Complete chapter 7

When Shen Qi arrived at the shooting range, this was the scene he saw: Gu Yan and a man were standing close together, talking intimately, with Gu Yan always smiling.

Perhaps hearing the noise, they both turned to look at him. The man removed his teasing gaze and replaced it with a more appropriate smile, nodding to Shen Qi: “Shen Ge.”

Shen Qi recognized this man as the one who had invited Gu Yan to sing at KTV. His surname seemed to be Tan, and his name was Tan Xiaolei.

An inexplicable annoyance rose in Shen Qi’s heart. He felt that this person was very displeasing to him, and just seeing his smile made him uncomfortable and uneasy.

Gu Yan glanced over briefly, then quickly turned his gaze away. He walked to the break area, grabbed two bottles of mineral water, and drank one with Tan Xiaolei. They even clinked their bottles together as if they were toasting with wine, and shared a tacit smile.

For a moment, Shen Qi felt quite out of place, as if he shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be in their sight, and shouldn’t be making them… notice him.

But it shouldn’t be this way. Shouldn’t he be the one standing next to Gu Yan? Why did he end up watching Gu Yan being affectionate with someone else while he became the awkward one?

The two of them went to the break area chatting and laughing, while Shen Qi stood alone, his fingers tightly twisted together, his eyes and nose slightly tinged with a hint of tears.

He sniffed and followed them to the break area, sitting two seats away from Gu Yan, staring at his recently picked-off fingertip, nervously tearing at the broken skin.

It was quite painful, but no amount of physical pain seemed to fill the emptiness in his heart.

He and Gu Yan had broken up. He had no standing, no right to care about who Gu Yan was with, let alone expect Gu Yan to look at him or smile at him again.

He had been the one to initiate the breakup, so why was he feeling so sad?

“Hey, Shen Ge, weren’t you on a business trip today?”

Tan Xiaolei pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, took out a few, handed one to Gu Yan, and then called out to Shen Qi, indicating he would throw one to him.

Shen Qi didn’t smoke and politely declined. Tan Xiaolei then put one in his mouth and lit it with a lighter.

Shen Qi watched as Gu Yan took the cigarette and Tan Xiaolei leaned in to light Gu Yan’s cigarette with his own.

The action brought their faces very close together, and from Shen Qi’s perspective, it looked like they might kiss each other any second.

“Yeah, I was supposed to go on a business trip, but it was canceled at the last minute.”

It wasn’t that he intended to deceive anyone; a few days ago, he had indeed refused Tan Yan’s invitation because of the trip. But he received a notification from his boss last night that the meeting with the partners had been postponed by half a month.

He could have used the business trip as an excuse to avoid this gathering, but when the time came, he still ended up coming, inexplicably compelled to do so.

His gaze inadvertently swept over. Gu Yan was sideways, one foot on the ground, the other on the horizontal bar of a nearby bench, taking a puff of his cigarette and exhaling slowly, his eyes slightly closed, in a very relaxed pose.

Shen Qi knew that Gu Yan smoked in social settings and often came home smelling of smoke in the evening, but he would always change his clothes immediately and had never smoked in front of him. So, he had never realized that Gu Yan actually enjoyed it, and that he looked so attractive while doing it.

“Is that so?”

Tan Xiaolei might have just asked casually, not really caring whether Shen Qi came or not. After asking, he turned to chat with Gu Yan.

They weren’t avoiding any topics and spoke about things that weren’t sensitive, quite casually and freely.

From the recent unpredictable weather to the previous World Cup games, and from difficult bosses and clients to popular songs, Tan Xiaolei seemed interested in everything and could discuss a few sentences about each topic, with Gu Yan always engaging in the conversation.

Later, they talked about firearms and racing. Gu Yan spoke more, using terms that Shen Qi couldn’t understand.

Gu Yan used to like these things a lot, Shen Qi knew.

But after Gu Yan had a minor accident while racing and got hurt, Shen Qi had a big argument with him, accusing him of joking with his life and not caring about him.

Since then, Gu Yan seemed to have stopped engaging in these activities, only occasionally coming to the club for climbing or shooting.

Sometimes Shen Qi would accompany him, but more often, he wouldn’t. Gu Yan didn’t force him to like it but still habitually asked every time they went out.

What he had previously ignored now seemed incredibly clear. Gu Yan really liked these things, and when he talked about them with others, his eyes sparkled like bright stars.

But Shen Qi had never noticed before. He had arrogantly thought that Gu Yan’s hobbies were too dangerous and had restrictively prevented him from doing what he liked, all under the pretense of “doing it for his own good.”

But Gu Yan had indulged him, willingly sacrificing his own preferences.

The more Shen Qi listened, the more his sadness grew.

He thought to himself that he really wasn’t a good person. He felt he had made a not-so-bad decision; breaking up was good, freeing himself and Gu Yan, allowing Gu Yan to find a partner who shared his interests. It was better than being with him, right?

But…

“Wow, you guys came really early! I thought I would be the first one!”

While Shen Qi was tangled up in his thoughts, Tang Yan came over with another friend, greeting Gu Yan with a big bear hug.

When he got to Shen Qi, he hugged him tightly and didn’t let go. “Stick with me later, I’ll carry the whole game for you!”

Shen Qi knew Tang Yan was looking out for him and smiled gratefully.

Shooting games were quite unfamiliar to Shen Qi. The last time he played one was during college, with Gu Yan and Tang Yan at another club in the college town.

At that time, they were with their other roommates, and the two dorms automatically divided into two teams, with Gu Yan as the captain of the red team and Tang Yan as the captain of the blue team.

They were all novices and were no match for Gu Yan’s skill. Gu Yan single-handedly almost wiped out the blue team.

But in the end, the blue team won. Because there was a “Siren Shen,” who captivated the heart of the great Captain Gu, making him reluctant to be too harsh and even surrendering despite his teammates’ safety, only to be won over by a kiss from Siren Shen, turning his gun on his own team.

After the match, Gu Yan was cornered and beaten up by everyone in the dorm. They treated him to a hot pot meal and then went for karaoke to make up for it.

After that, they would often bring it up as a recurring joke and tease him. Anyone who knew their relationship was aware that Gu Yan completely lost his mind and principles when dealing with Shen Qi. In ancient times, he would definitely be considered a foolish ruler under the spell of a seductive queen.

But not this time. This time, they were still not on the same team. Before the team division, Tan Xiaolei had proudly flaunted that he had secured his teammates privately, and other friends gathered to complain—what was the point of this? Everyone knew how impressive Gu Yan was, how were they supposed to compete?

But Gu Yan didn’t deny it, letting them grumble and unwillingly draw lots to form teams.

Shen Qi and Tang Yan were on the same team again, also on the blue team. Time seemed to rewind to several years ago, back to the day they first went to the club.

It was undeniable that Gu Yan had brought a huge change to Shen Qi’s life. Before meeting Gu Yan, Shen Qi’s life was dull and monotonous, consisting only of studying and working, with occasional club activities to mix things up.

Gu Yan introduced him to various exciting aspects of life, showing him that he could also live and enjoy himself so freely.

“Hey, Shen Qi, why are you spacing out? Quickly find cover and hide!” Tang Yan grabbed his arm and pulled him behind a small hill. “Damn it, how are we supposed to play with those two on the same team? This is outrageous!”

Each team had eight people, and within the first five minutes, half of their team had already been eliminated.

Just dealing with Gu Yan alone was enough of a challenge, and adding Tan Xiaolei to the mix made them unstoppable. The blue team might as well raise the white flag and surrender.

Bang bang bang! Another round of sweeping fire. The blue team lost more members, and in the blink of an eye, only Shen Qi and Tang Yan were left.

“We need to make sure they don’t team up next round. What’s the point of this game?” Tang Yan spat, “Shen Qi, how about we just charge at them and fight it out? We’ll take down at least one of them. It’s not like we can turn the tide anyway.”

Shen Qi had no objections. With all their teammates dead and the opponents fully intact, it was a brutal situation.

“Ahhh! Goddess of Victory, please favor me once more!” Tang Yan raised his submachine gun and yelled as he charged into the enemy camp, only to be eliminated almost immediately.

The Goddess of Victory did not favor Tang Yan, nor would she favor Shen Qi. As Shen Qi peeked out from behind the small hill, he was shot in the chest and also met his end.

Cheers and wails filled the air, but Shen Qi remained in his fallen position, staring blankly at the colored dye on his chest. For a moment, he couldn’t accept the fact that he had been shot.

That shot was fired by Gu Yan. Shen Qi saw it clearly, and Gu Yan saw it just as clearly. His indifferent expression after shooting was as if he had hit nothing more significant than a flower, a leaf, or a stone—nothing worth a second glance.

How could this be? How could Gu Yan really shoot at him, and so decisively, without a hint of hesitation?

It might sound ridiculous, but before Gu Yan shot him, Shen Qi had still harbored some ill-timed hope.

He hoped that he would still be special to Gu Yan, that Gu Yan would show him mercy and not kill his own teammate as he had done before, or at least let him survive a bit longer.

But Gu Yan shattered all those hopes with that merciless shot, making Shen Qi realize that he was no different from anyone else in Gu Yan’s eyes.

From now on, Shen Qi was just Shen Qi, no longer Gu Yan’s Shen Qi.

At this moment, Shen Qi couldn’t describe his feelings. He felt an overwhelming sadness that seemed to swallow him whole, hating his own weakness and hesitation, and also feeling a bit of hatred towards Gu Yan… for his ruthlessness.

But what right did he have to hate Gu Yan? It was an unreasonable thing. So, he ended up hating himself even more.