Difficult to Complete chapter 16

Getting a job at Gu Yan’s company was something Shen Qi never expected. After leaving his previous job, he spent every day at home browsing job listings and submitting resumes. He interviewed with several companies, but for various reasons, nothing worked out.

He thought he might be unemployed at home for a while, but on Christmas Eve, he saw the job listing for the marketing department at Gu Yan’s company. Without thinking much, he sent in his resume.

He applied, but never dared to hope he would actually get in, let alone that their two departments would be on the same floor, and so close.

Shen Qi’s workstation was near the door. When he chose this spot, his colleagues had advised against it, joking that it wasn’t a good place to sit because it was easy for the boss to catch him slacking off. They suggested he move to the corner in the back instead.

But Shen Qi was quite satisfied with his choice, as from this position, he could easily see everyone coming in and out of the design department across from him. To him, it was an ideal spot.

The entire morning, with the help of his colleagues, Shen Qi familiarized himself with his work environment and got a general understanding of the projects he would be taking over. After that, his attention was fully focused on the design department across from him.

But there was no movement over there until nearly eleven o’clock, when he finally saw a group of people from the design department burst out of the meeting room. Some returned to their offices, while a small group headed to the break room next door.

It turned out they had been in a meeting.

Gu Yan was the last one out, talking to a female colleague wearing black glasses beside him. His steps were unhurried, but his brows were furrowed.

Shen Qi stared at him for a long time, watching until he walked into the design department and then into his private office, where he could no longer see him.

Lunch was with his colleagues. By coincidence, they chose the Hong Kong-style tea restaurant because one of the colleagues suddenly wanted to eat their honey-glazed barbecued pork.

His colleagues didn’t know that Shen Qi was also a regular at this restaurant. When ordering, they enthusiastically recommended the restaurant’s signature dishes to him. Shen Qi didn’t explain much and simply picked a few dishes from their recommendations.

It was rather amusing, thinking about it. A few days ago, he had regretted that he might not have the chance to eat here again, but it hadn’t been long before he found himself back here.

Yet, for some reason, as he ate the familiar-tasting fried rice noodles and salted egg custard buns, he couldn’t shake the feeling of a long-awaited reunion.

It was as if the last time he ate here wasn’t just ten days or half a month ago, but a much longer time.

Then, memories of his first date with Gu Yan at this place came flooding back. He realized that he still remembered every dish they ordered back then: fried rice noodles, salted egg custard buns, steamed chicken feet in black bean sauce, shrimp dumplings, fish fillet congee with lettuce, and curry fish balls. And two bowls of wonton noodles.

During that meal, Gu Yan kept piling food onto his plate, barely eating anything himself. He had lied, saying that his roommate had forced a big meat bun on him before he left, so he was already full.

But later that afternoon, while watching a movie, Gu Yan’s stomach growled loudly, almost drowning out the movie’s background music. Shen Qi couldn’t stop laughing, and Gu Yan laughed along, embarrassed.

After the movie, Shen Qi insisted on going for afternoon tea, ordering the largest Supreme Pizza at Pizza Hut for Gu Yan. He ate one slice, and Gu Yan finished the rest, clearly starving.

There was an hour and a half lunch break at noon. After eating, there was still about an hour left to rest. Many colleagues fell asleep at their workstations or teamed up to play games in the meeting room next door.

But Shen Qi sat alone, seemingly playing on his phone, but actually keeping a close eye on the office across from him.

Gu Yan had lunch somewhere unknown and returned to the office not long after Shen Qi did, alone.

Shen Qi’s gaze remained fixed on him, locked on through two frosted glass windows.

Gu Yan flipped through some documents while talking to a male colleague beside him. Gu Yan bent over, pointing at the computer screen and saying something. Gu Yan turned and returned to his private office. Gu Yan… was no longer visible.

Shen Qi lowered his head and opened WeChat. Tang Yan’s group chat was always at the top of his list with 99+ unread messages.

Shen Qi clicked into it and skimmed through, but it was all meaningless chatter, so he quickly exited.

But then he suddenly didn’t know what to do next. Propping his chin on one hand, he boredly fiddled with his phone case, peeling it off and putting it back on, again and again…

He felt like he shouldn’t have come to Gu Yan’s company. Sitting here, he couldn’t focus on work at all. His mind was completely occupied with thoughts of that person.

When he couldn’t see him, he wondered what he was doing. When he saw him, he couldn’t look away, just wanting to take one more look, and then another…

But if you asked him to quit now, he couldn’t bear to do it.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t let go of the job; he couldn’t let go of… Gu Yan.

Given their current strained relationship, it was incredibly difficult for him to see Gu Yan. Unless their friends arranged a gathering, or he got rear-ended a few more times and happened to be picked up by Gu Yan again, he shouldn’t dream about it.

But in reality, what difference did it make whether he could see him or not? What if he saw him? What if he didn’t? He and Gu Yan had already broken up. Yet he just couldn’t bear to let go.

Before he saw the recruitment notice for the marketing department, he hadn’t even considered this possibility and didn’t dare to think about it. But now that he had actually been hired, and was really just one wall away from Gu Yan, all his emotions were spiraling out of control, spreading in directions he couldn’t predict.

He felt a little regretful about breaking up with Gu Yan. Just… a little.

But it was so stupid. So ridiculous.

Shen Qi forced a bitter smile, swallowing down the bitterness in his mouth. Then, he slumped onto the desk, his fingers idly brushing the cactus a female colleague had given him, like some kind of lunatic counting the spines on the cactus—

Gu Yan still likes me.

Gu Yan doesn’t like me anymore.

Gu Yan still likes me.

Gu Yan doesn’t like me anymore.

Gu Yan… Gu Yan walked out of his office.

Even though he knew Gu Yan wouldn’t look his way, Shen Qi instinctively ducked behind his computer. Even he didn’t know why he was hiding.

Gu Yan was holding a cup, apparently heading to the break room.

Shen Qi followed suit, picking up his cup, but he had just been to the break room, and his coffee was still hot…

In the break room, Gu Yan was brewing coffee while scrolling through news on Weibo.

A Mr. Zhang from Hangzhou, an executive at a company, had been dating Ms. Wang from Haishi for three years, but they had never been intimate. Until half a month ago, when Mr. Zhang drank a little too much at a banquet and, in a moment of heat, climbed into Ms. Wang’s bed, only to discover that the petite and lovely Ms. Wang, who had been living with him for three years, was actually a man. Mr. Zhang was devastated and, in his anger, reported it to the police. According to “Ms. Wang,” he had resorted to cross-dressing to find someone to support him because he couldn’t find a good job, but he didn’t actually like men…

What kind of nonsense is this? Damn it.

Gu Yan couldn’t bear to read the news any longer, but the coffee wasn’t done brewing yet. Feeling somewhat irritated, he tossed his phone onto the tea cabinet and grabbed a cup of hot water, taking a few sips.

It was at this moment that Shen Qi came over. When their eyes met, both of them froze for a moment. Gu Yan stepped away from the water dispenser and moved to the side.

Shen Qi nodded at him, then walked to the coffee machine, setting down the cup in his hand. He leaned against the tea cabinet, his gaze falling on the coffee beans Gu Yan hadn’t yet put away, as if he was reading the information on them. It seemed like he was here for the coffee too.

Gu Yan glanced at the coffee machine, unsure whether to leave or stay, and a bizarre piece of news he had just seen inexplicably flashed through his mind.

“Hello, Mr. Gu.” At that moment, a designer came over to get some water. Upon seeing Gu Yan, he greeted him politely. Gu Yan nodded in acknowledgment, responding with a brief “Hmm.”

After the designer finished getting water and left, the coffee was finally ready. Gu Yan originally intended to grab his cup, but noticing Shen Qi glancing in his direction, he said, “You first.” Shen Qi nodded again and took the cup of coffee.

Gu Yan quickly filled his own cup and followed Shen Qi out of the tea room. Just as they were about to reach the office, Shen Qi stopped and looked back, and their eyes met once more.

This time, Gu Yan didn’t look away. He simply stared at Shen Qi, and then he saw Shen Qi purse his lips, turn his head back, and push open the door to the marketing department office, returning to his desk. Gu Yan took a sip of coffee and suddenly had a strong urge to smoke.

He wasn’t addicted to smoking, so aside from necessary social occasions, he usually didn’t feel the need to smoke. But today, the craving hit him hard.

However, he didn’t plan to indulge this craving. Instead, he downed half a cup of coffee, forcibly suppressing the urge.

He had just turned down Tan Xiaolei, and now Shen Qi had appeared. This was… Gu Yan didn’t even know what to say and could only curse inwardly.

Damn it.