Difficult to Complete chapter 12

After hanging up, Shen Qi plopped down at the end of the bed, tossing his phone behind him and rubbing his face vigorously. At that moment, he suddenly missed Gu Yan.

Once the thought emerged, it couldn’t be suppressed. Shen Qi went to the liquor cabinet, poured himself a couple of glasses, and the alcohol ignited the fire in his chest immediately, almost turning him into ashes.

But his longing didn’t diminish at all; he still missed Gu Yan. Very much.

It was probably because he had been in a car accident and got injured today that Shen Qi allowed himself a moment of weakness. He reached out for the phone on his bed and, without much hesitation, dialed Gu Yan’s number.

“Hello, what’s up?” This time, the call was answered quickly, but Gu Yan’s tone was really cold, causing Shen Qi’s heart to tighten, feeling even more miserable than before.

Even though he knew Gu Yan couldn’t see him, Shen Qi still tried to smile:

“Gu Yan, I’m feeling a bit unwell.”

He deliberately kept it vague. He was indeed feeling uncomfortable but didn’t specify where, so technically, he wasn’t lying to Gu Yan.

There was a brief silence on the other end before Gu Yan replied indifferently, “Why don’t you call Tang Yan? Ask him to accompany you to the hospital again.”

Even after saying that, Gu Yan still wanted to push him to Tang Yan. How could this be? How could Gu Yan bear to treat him this way?

Shen Qi clutched the bed sheets tightly, his voice hoarse, “Gu Yan, I really, really don’t feel well.” His voice unconsciously carried a sob, a clear sign of vulnerability.

He knew he shouldn’t be acting so unreasonable, and shouldn’t trouble Gu Yan any further. Gu Yan didn’t want to see him or get involved in his affairs anymore, so he should’ve been smart enough to hang up. But today, his brain was short-circuited, going crazy; he was willing to lose his dignity, as long as he could see Gu Yan.

Finally, after a long time, Gu Yan spoke, “Send me your location.”

“And this is the last time, Shen Qi.”

Shen Qi’s current rented place was in an apartment building not far from his company. When Gu Yan arrived, Shen Qi was sitting on the sofa, waiting with a pale face, his eyes sunken, and his lips colorless, looking fragile and pathetic.

Gu Yan suggested taking him to the hospital, but Shen Qi refused, stubbornly sitting on the sofa with red eyes. After all, he was injured, so Gu Yan didn’t dare to treat him roughly and had no choice but to let him be.

“Fine, then go to your room and sleep. I’ll be outside. If you really feel unwell, call me, and I’ll take you to the hospital.”

Shen Qi nodded, dazed, got up holding a sofa cushion, and headed to his room. But just as he reached the door, he seemed to remember something and retreated, placing the cushion back on the sofa.

Then, he just stood there, motionless, with a blank expression as if he had lost his soul.

“What’s wrong?” Seeing him not moving, Gu Yan frowned and asked.

Shen Qi instinctively lowered his eyes, clutching the hem of his pajamas tightly, stammering, “Gu Yan, are you… are you going to sleep on the sofa? Or… come to the room with me?”

Gu Yan actually came, and it didn’t look like he was in a hurry to leave. It was like a dream. Shen Qi was reluctant to just go back to his room and sleep. He was afraid that if he fell asleep, Gu Yan would be gone when he woke up, and it would all just be like a dream, leaving nothing behind.

He inappropriately thought once again that he really was despicable, clinging to his ex-boyfriend without shame whenever he was weak and scared.

Gu Yan didn’t answer his dumb question about whether to sleep on the sofa or in the room. He silently sat down on the sofa, started fiddling with his phone, making his stance clear.

So Shen Qi felt even more foolish, thinking he was just making a fool of himself.

What kind of relationship do you have with him now that you can invite him to sleep in your room? He came because he was kind-hearted and didn’t want you to die alone at home. Yet, you thick-skinnedly pushed your luck. Have some dignity, Shen Qi!

Cursing himself inwardly, Shen Qi slowly turned around and went back to his room.

From beginning to end, Gu Yan didn’t look up at him once, maintaining the posture of playing with his phone.

Shen Qi sneaked a glance and found that Gu Yan was chatting with someone. The profile picture of the person he was chatting with was very familiar—it was that Tan Xiaolei.

Over the past few days, Shen Qi had deliberately or accidentally opened that person’s Moments several times, so there was no mistaking it—it was him.

His head felt even dizzier. He had lied to Gu Yan earlier, and now karma was hitting him; he really wasn’t feeling well anymore, even feeling a bit nauseous.

But instead of saying anything, he forced himself to take deep breaths while holding onto the wardrobe, trying to suppress the dizziness and nausea. Then, he found a thick blanket in the closet, took it to Gu Yan, and with lowered eyes, quietly said, “I’m sorry.”

The apology was abrupt, and even Shen Qi didn’t know why he suddenly said it. He just felt many emotions tugging at his chest. He wanted to say something more to Gu Yan, but when the words reached his lips, they turned into a simple “I’m sorry.”

Why?

Probably because of the seven years of deception, the sudden breakup, and the countless troubles he caused Gu Yan afterward.

So, he should have apologized to Gu Yan a long time ago, but he only said it now.

But Gu Yan probably found him a bit strange, so he looked up at him, frowning, “What?”

Shen Qi forced a smile that looked worse than crying and pretended not to care, “Nothing, I probably really hurt my head. Just ignore me.”

So Gu Yan really did ignore him, nodding coldly before returning to his phone.

Shen Qi thought he wouldn’t be able to sleep, but unexpectedly, he slept very soundly this time. Not only did he not suffer from insomnia, but even the nightmares that had plagued him for a long time seemed to have disappeared.

Just as he expected, when he woke up the next morning, Gu Yan was already gone. The only thing that comforted him was that Gu Yan had prepared breakfast for him—a sandwich and a glass of orange juice.

Shen Qi couldn’t say what he felt at that moment. He sat at the dining table, staring blankly as he forced down the entire sandwich and drank the orange juice. Gu Yan’s cooking skills hadn’t changed; the sandwich was still as delicious as ever.

What used to be a familiar and ordinary taste had now become his surprise, something he longed for but couldn’t obtain.

Since living alone, Shen Qi had rarely cooked at home. His meals were either hastily settled at the restaurant downstairs from his company, ordered as takeout, or skipped entirely. Only occasionally would he cook some rice cakes or noodles.

So, his refrigerator was usually empty, with only a few eggs and some yogurt when he remembered to stock it.

But when he opened it this time, he found it filled with fruits and vegetables.

Whoever bought these things probably knew he was lazy, so they picked convenient, hassle-free items, like easy-to-eat fruits and some green vegetables that could be dipped in sauce after a quick rinse or made into a simple soup with an egg.

Did Gu Yan go downstairs early in the morning to do a big grocery run for him? Shen Qi stood in front of the fridge, his fingers unconsciously touching the apples, the greens, the fresh milk, and the strawberries…

It wasn’t until the fridge beeped that he snapped out of his daze, stepped back, and closed the fridge door with a bang.

There was half a cucumber in the kitchen, wrapped in cling film, probably left over from making sandwiches earlier.

Shen Qi put the glass and plate into the sink, unwrapped the tightly sealed cucumber, leaned against the counter, and ate it bite by bite.

That morning, as expected, Shen Qi was late. He hadn’t even had time to explain the reason for his tardiness to his demanding, chubby boss when Zhao Lingling rushed over to his desk with a worried look and asked:

“Shen Qi, what’s wrong with your head? How did you get hurt?”

Shen Qi tried to smile at her, but failed: “It’s nothing, just a small accident after work last night. I got a little cut on my head, and I was feeling a bit dizzy this morning, so that’s why I—”

“Honestly, you should’ve stayed home and rested if you’re hurt. It’s not like the company will go bankrupt without you for a day or something. You didn’t sell your life to my dad, so why push yourself so hard?”

Although her tone was concerned, and Shen Qi knew she genuinely cared about him, her words still made him feel somewhat uncomfortable.

And it wasn’t just Shen Qi who felt that way; he clearly saw several colleagues at the neighboring desks stealing glances at them, their looks quite… suggestive.

Of course, the company wouldn’t go bankrupt without him. In fact, the company wouldn’t collapse without anyone, not even Zhao Lingling’s father, who was his immediate boss.

One chairman leaves, and there will always be another. It seems that no one in this world is truly irreplaceable.

Shen Qi suddenly felt very tired. He pressed the power button, watched the computer screen light up, and then turned to Zhao Lingling and said:

“Let’s have dinner together tonight. I have something I want to talk to you about.”

Zhao Lingling who knows what she thought of, but her anger instantly turned into joy, and she smiled brightly:

“Sure!”