Difficult to Complete chapter 1

Shen Qi decided to break up with Gu Yan.

They had been together for seven years. Gu Yan had always treated him very well, perhaps even better than anyone else could. But Shen Qi decided to end things because he no longer wanted to continue living like this. He wanted to…

Return to being a normal person.

The last dish of water-boiled meat slices was ready. Shen Qi brought the dishes to the table: three dishes and a soup. Besides the water-boiled meat slices, there were spicy beef, mapo tofu, and yam pork rib soup—all of which Gu Yan loved.

Shen Qi wasn’t very good at cooking. The last time he cooked was three years ago, on the day they moved into this apartment.

The apartment was bought by Gu Yan with a loan. Both their names were on the property deed. It wasn’t very large, only 80 square meters, but it was enough for the two of them.

Before that, since their senior year in college, they had been renting a cheap place near the school.

On the day of the move, Shen Qi watched a food blogger’s video and made the same three dishes and soup as today: water-boiled meat slices, spicy beef, mapo tofu, and yam pork rib soup.

While slicing the meat, he had accidentally cut his finger. Gu Yan was heartbroken, disinfecting his wound and applying a bandage while assuring him, “From now on, I’ll handle all the household chores—washing clothes, cooking, everything.”

Shen Qi asked, “And what about me? What should I do? Earn money to support the family?” Gu Yan replied matter-of-factly, “Of course, I’ll handle earning money too. You just need to enjoy eating, drinking, and having fun.”

Gu Yan kept his promise. For the next three years, he never washed a single dish or cleaned the floor. He even gave Shen Qi a bank card, transferring half a month’s salary into it every month.

Shen Qi tried a piece of spicy beef. Although it didn’t look great, it tasted surprisingly good. Gu Yan should like it.

Gu Yan loved spicy food, but Shen Qi had a delicate stomach, so they usually cooked light meals at home. Gu Yan only made himself something simple when he was really craving it. He always put himself second to Shen Qi in this way.

Shen Qi glanced at his phone. Gu Yan would be home in about half an hour. He had called earlier to check; Gu Yan wouldn’t be working late and would return on time.

So, he got up, picked a bottle of red wine from the wine cabinet, opened it with a corkscrew, and poured two glasses.

Sitting at the table, looking at the gradually cooling dishes, Shen Qi thought: Cooking for the second time on the day I decide to break up, starting and ending like this, it can be considered a kind of closure in another sense.

Forty minutes later, Gu Yan came home, holding a bouquet of pink roses. He placed the flowers in a vase, walked over to Shen Qi, and kissed his eyes, “Why so many dishes? Didn’t I say I’d handle all the chores?”

Shen Qi smiled at him, “I rarely cook. Go wash your hands quickly; the food is getting cold.”

Gu Yan took off his coat and washed his hands, turning on the TV as he passed through the living room. The World Cup, held every four years, was currently in progress. The sports channel was replaying the semifinal from three days ago: Germany vs. Brazil. Shen Qi knew the result—7:1, Germany won.

They had watched the game together on the day of the semifinal. The match started at 1:50 AM, and they ordered garlic crayfish and cold beer, snuggling on the sofa while eating and watching.

Gu Yan was a football fan, particularly passionate about the German and French teams. When his favorite team won, he was thrilled, and after the match, he had fooled around with Shen Qi three times that night.

Afterwards, it was already dawn, and the alarm would go off in less than 10 minutes. They lay facing each other, and Shen Qi asked, “Which do you like more, the French team or the German team?”

Gu Yan, all clingy, kissed him, “I like you the most.”

Although Shen Qi had already seen the live broadcast and knew the result, Gu Yan still watched with great interest. He served Shen Qi a piece of pork rib and took two big pieces of spicy beef for himself, “Brazilian team really wasn’t up to par this time.”

Shen Qi slowly chewed on the pork rib, not saying a word.

“Shen Qi, are you unhappy? Is something wrong?”

From the moment he walked in, Gu Yan had noticed Shen Qi’s low spirits and worried expression, but he waited for Shen Qi to tell him on his own. When Shen Qi remained silent, Gu Yan decided to ask.

Shen Qi replied, “It’s nothing.”

If it’s nothing, then it’s suspicious. But Gu Yan didn’t want to force him, so he didn’t press further.

The two ate the meal in silence. When Gu Yan was about to get up to clear the dishes, Shen Qi stopped him, “Gu Yan, I need to talk to you.”

Gu Yan walked over and kissed him again, “I knew something was up. What’s the matter? Work not going well? Upset with your stupid boss?”

Shen Qi’s direct superior was a 200-pound man, talentless and unethical, relying on being the big boss’s relative and his skill at flattery to get the position. He did nothing all day but boss around his subordinates. Shen Qi had complained about him at home many times.

Shen Qi shook his head, “No.”

“Then what is it?” Gu Yan joked, “Did you make all this food tonight because you did something to let me down?”

Shen Qi raised his eyes to look at him, his voice very low, as if it was difficult to get the words out: “Gu Yan, let’s… break up.”

Gu Yan’s face immediately turned dark: “What did you say? Today isn’t April Fool’s Day, right?”

Shen Qi clenched his palm hard, lowered his eyes, and repeated, “I said, let’s break up.”

“Why?” Gu Yan asked with a sullen face. This was too sudden for him. Just the night before, they were entangled passionately, and now Shen Qi wanted to break up with him? How could that be?

Shen Qi bit his lower lip, avoiding eye contact, staring at his own feet. He didn’t speak for a long time, and Gu Yan didn’t push him. The two of them just sat there in silence.

“Because…” After a long while, Shen Qi finally spoke again with difficulty, “Because I’m straight.”

Gu Yan sneered: “Straight? Shen Qi, are you trying to fool me with such a ridiculous excuse?” They’ve been together for seven years, done it countless times, and now he was saying he was straight? What kind of international joke was this?

But Shen Qi said, “I really am straight.”

“Straight? To hell with your ‘straightness’. Why didn’t you say you were straight when I was pursuing you seven years ago? Why didn’t you say you were straight when I was fucking you every night?”

Shen Qi’s eyes were very red, and he looked like he was about to cry.

“I actually… always wanted to tell you.”

The idea of breaking up wasn’t something that suddenly appeared today. It had been hidden in Shen Qi’s heart since the day they started dating, surfacing from time to time over the years, causing him to struggle with it.

Many, many times, he thought, maybe he should just be honest with Gu Yan.

Honest about what? That he was actually straight, that he didn’t like men, and that he had agreed to be with Gu Yan back then only because Gu Yan was so good to him.

But it was precisely because Gu Yan was so good to him that he couldn’t bear to say it. He kept hesitating and avoiding it, dragging it out day after day, year after year, for a full seven years.

Now he couldn’t drag it out any longer. Five years after graduation, nearing thirty, his parents and relatives at home kept asking about his love life, asking if he had a girlfriend, when he planned to get married. During family gatherings on holidays, they would inevitably ask, and his aunt even started arranging blind dates for him.

Shen Qi was under too much pressure.

A while ago, the daughter of his boss, who had just graduated, came to the company for an internship. She was originally assigned to be supervised by a manager in their department, but the girl took a liking to Shen Qi at first sight and insisted on having him as her mentor.

A few days ago, the girl confessed to him. Shen Qi didn’t accept, but he also didn’t have the courage to come out. He thought he would never have that courage, so he made up his mind to break up with Gu Yan.

At this moment, Shen Qi’s phone on the table rang. Gu Yan glanced at it, and the contact name was Zhao Lingling, clearly a girl’s name, the boss’s daughter.

Shen Qi’s face looked a bit awkward. He was about to reach for the phone, but Gu Yan grabbed it first and put it on speaker.

“Hey, Shen Qi Ge, have you had dinner?” As expected, it was a female voice, and the last word was drawn out in a playful tone.

Shen Qi looked even more uneasy, his eyes red as he looked at Gu Yan, as if pleading for mercy.

Anger and pain burned away Gu Yan’s reason. He was in so much pain himself that he wanted to make this person hurt along with him.

He shoved the damned phone to the other end of the dining table, then grabbed Shen Qi by the neck, pinned him to the table, and yanked off his belt and pants…

Although they had done it just the night before, Shen Qi still felt like his body was being split in two, the pain making him see stars, and it took him a while to recover.

“Shen Qi Ge, why aren’t you saying anything? Is the signal bad? Hey, hey, hey? Shen Qi Ge, what are you doing?”

Shen Qi Ge—how affectionate that sounded.

Gu Yan pressed Shen Qi’s head down with one hand and gripped his waist with the other. The table shook with each thrust, and the dishes clattered noisily.

He leaned close to Shen Qi’s ear and whispered in a low, rough voice, “Why aren’t you making any noise? Tell her what you’re doing with me.”

“Aren’t you straight? Why do you feel pleasure then, huh?”

His voice was low and deep, filled with a hint of lust, but also cruel. Shen Qi shook his head desperately, biting his lip hard, refusing to make a sound.

Gu Yan laughed. Maybe he finally couldn’t stand the noisy girl on the phone, so he grabbed the phone and smashed it against the wall. With a loud “bang,” the screen shattered into pieces, and the phone went completely silent.

“Don’t, Gu Yan, no, please…” Only then did Shen Qi dare to plead, but Gu Yan wasn’t ready to let him off so easily. He kept pressing Shen Qi’s head down, repeatedly asking him,

“Shen Qi, aren’t you straight? Then what are you doing now?”

“Shen Qi, can you still be straight?”

…

Who knows how much time passed before Shen Qi felt like he was about to die, and only then did Gu Yan finally let him go.

Gu Yan didn’t take off any of his clothes. Afterward, he got up as if nothing had happened, sat back at the table, and started using his phone, expressionless.

Shen Qi, on the other hand, was a mess. His hair was stained with soup, his waist felt like it had been broken, and he couldn’t even stand up straight, his whole body trembling slightly.

He stayed in that position, lying sideways on the table, for a long time before he finally stood up, hands shaking as he slowly put himself back together.

Gu Yan loved having sex with him, and they did it frequently, but Gu Yan had never treated him so roughly before.

In bed, Gu Yan had always been gentle and considerate, kissing him all over with tenderness, even kissing his toes with love. Afterward, he’d cuddle him, kissing and holding him for a while, then take him to the bathroom to clean him up carefully.

But tonight… Tonight there were no kisses, no tenderness, nothing at all. This wasn’t an act of intimacy; it was Gu Yan venting his anger.