Deep Desire chapter 62

Extra 1: The Eye of the Earth

At that time, they had just embarked on this journey not long ago.

On the eleventh day of knowing Feng Si, Lu Jingshen sat in his off-road vehicle as they crossed the Sahara Desert.

Outside the window stretched an endless road, with yellow sand swirling in the air as the wheels turned. Occasionally, other vehicles or travelers on camels passed by, but they were unrelated to them.

Feng Si opened half of the car window, one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on the window sill, a cigarette dangling from his mouth. He casually hummed along to the Arabian folk songs flowing from the speakers.

Lu Jingshen’s eyelashes trembled lightly as he leaned back in his seat, his gaze fixed outside the window. However, his thoughts were unconsciously drawn to the person beside him—their breath, their warmth, their voice.

His senses suddenly became much sharper, easily stirred by the presence of the person beside him.

“What are you thinking?” Feng Si’s voice leaned in close, his breath brushing against Lu Jingshen’s ear. Lu Jingshen closed his eyes lightly and turned to look at him. “Nothing, have we arrived?”

“Yeah, we’ll stay here tonight.” Feng Si casually replied, noticing Lu Jingshen’s slight discomfort in his eyes. He chuckled softly, reached out, and pinched his delicate earlobe before pushing open the car door and getting out first.

Lu Jingshen watched his figure disappear into the twilight haze, his mind momentarily empty before following suit.

Their lodging for tonight was a small town nearby, with buildings constructed entirely of gray stones like the rest of the structures in the area. The inn was not in great condition, but it was better than camping by the roadside.

The inn also provided meals, but Lu Jingshen probably wasn’t used to the food and had little appetite. He only took a few bites before setting down his knife and fork and returning to the room.

Ten minutes later, Feng Si came in with bread and water for him.

The cool mineral water bottle pressed against his face, and Lu Jingshen, who was sitting on the bed lost in thought, looked up dazedly to meet Feng Si’s smiling eyes.

“Why do you always look so troubled?” Feng Si asked teasingly.

Lu Jingshen took the items from him and murmured a vague thank you before unwrapping the food.

Feng Si took a shower and came out, but Lu Jingshen had only eaten half of the bread by then. He remained in the same position as before, seemingly unchanged, gazing at the dimming dusk outside the window.

Feng Si leaned against the wall behind him and watched him.

Lu Jingshen’s deliberately straightened back seemed tense, and his shoulder blades protruded more prominently due to his thinness. His body, caught between adolescence and youth, would tremble slightly with nervousness and fear when pinned down by him, yet it would also tremble with excitement when reaching the peak of ecstasy.

A strange contradiction.

Suddenly, warmth encroached from behind, causing Lu Jingshen to stiffen for a moment. Feng Si’s deep voice sounded near his ear, “Tonight, is it okay?”

Lu Jingshen didn’t move, but Feng Si held his hand, pressing their palms together and intertwining their fingers to comfort him.

Pushed onto the bed, their positions shifted to being intertwined. Lu Jingshen dared not look into the eyes that were fixed on him. His throat kept rolling, he closed his eyes, trying to relax, but couldn’t suppress the trembling of his body, and cold sweat beaded on his forehead.

Four days ago, they made love for the first time in a deserted sunflower field. Ten days ago, they kissed for the first time, just one day after meeting each other.

On the eleventh day of meeting this man, their relationship developed unexpectedly beyond Lu Jingshen’s expectations but irresistibly.

In this old inn rarely visited by anyone in the desert, in the dim and cramped room, they were about to make love for the second time.

Feng Si’s fingers gently stroked the redness at the corners of his eyes, forcing him to open them.

Lu Jingshen’s eyelashes kept trembling as he looked up at the man who dominated him.

He felt uncomfortable, so uncomfortable that he even had the urge to collapse and self-destruct. He was gay, and so was he. He couldn’t refuse this man.

He wanted him.

“Alex, where did you come from? Why do I feel that you’re so different as soon as I see you? Clearly, there’s nothing special about you, but it feels like everything about you is special. Are you my nemesis?”

Feng Si murmured softly in Chinese, thinking that Lu Jingshen couldn’t understand.

He was indeed puzzled. Someone like him never lacked admirers, yet he found himself attracted for the first time to this traveler he picked up on the journey.

This person under him seemed aloof and arrogant on the surface, but in reality, he was timid and cautious. When his gaze met yours directly, it was like he was seeking and yearning, making it difficult to resist.

Unintentional seduction was the most deadly.

Feng Si thought, if this could be called falling in love, this feeling didn’t seem bad at all.

“I feel like I’ve never seen anyone like you.”

“Will you leave? How long can we continue this journey together?”

“It’s kind of funny, isn’t it? I actually said something like that to someone. Forget it, anyway, you can’t understand.”

Whisper after whisper, Lu Jingshen’s heart was entwined with countless threads, and the emotions hidden within it found no outlet. He could only tilt his head up and tremulously kiss the lips that uttered words of love.

Feng Si pulled him into his arms, kissing him passionately regardless of everything else.

Their bodies entwined, passion ignited, and Lu Jingshen once again experienced the intense pleasure that almost overwhelmed him.

His body had gradually begun to adapt, and there was still pain, but compared to those overwhelming sensations, it was insignificant.

The more this happened, the more he realized soberly that he was in bed with another man, that his body enjoyed this feeling, and that he longed for all of it.

When the dawn broke, Lu Jingshen hazily opened his eyes, finding himself alone in the room. His muddled mind gradually restarted, and he pushed aside the covers to get out of bed. However, his movements were too abrupt, causing a twinge in his sore waist, and he fell off the bed directly.

Feng Si came in through the door, having bought breakfast and brought a map. Seeing this, he quickly strode over to help him up, placing his hand on his lower back. “Are you okay?”

Lu Jingshen closed his eyes and shook his head.

Feng Si seemed to understand something from his embarrassed expression and teased, “Did you fall asleep and dream? How can you fall off the bed like this?”

Indeed, they had been too passionate last night. Both Feng Si and Lu Jingshen had deliberately indulged themselves,

Feeling increasingly embarrassed, Lu Jingshen muttered, “No,” and withdrew his hand to go to the bathroom to freshen up.

During breakfast, Feng Si looked at the map in his hand and casually suggested to Lu Jingshen, “Shall we go to Guelb er Richat today?”

Lu Jingshen didn’t know what Feng Si was talking about, but nodded indifferently. He didn’t have a destination in mind anyway, and Feng Si was the one leading the way.

Looking at him, Feng Si asked, “Can you handle hiking?”

Lu Jingshen nodded while nibbling on his bread, “It’s fine.”

Feng Si smiled, “Good. If you can’t, just say so. No need to force yourself.”

After breakfast, they set off into the morning light. The rising sun cast a crimson glow over the vast desert, adding a bit of vitality to the barren land.

Quietly observing, Lu Jingshen took out his camera and took a few photos.

Turning to look at him, Feng Si saw the glow reflecting in Lu Jingshen’s eyes and smiled. However, Lu Jingshen remained unaware of his own charm.

At the end of the road, Feng Si stopped the car, gesturing to the person beside him, “Let’s get off here. The road ahead is impassable, we’ll have to walk.”

It was then that Lu Jingshen remembered to ask, “Where is this?”

“The Eye of the Sahara,” Feng Si pointed to the Richat Structure marked on the map, “One of the ten geological wonders of the world, a visual landmark for astronauts.”

He led Lu Jingshen up to a high point to overlook the area.

Layers of grayish-brown quartzite formed circles, creating the dark pupil of the Eye of the Sahara. Beyond that, the colors of the rock layers became thicker, resembling an iris, while the undulating mountains in the outermost circle formed the eyelids.

Even standing here, they couldn’t see the whole picture.

Lu Jingshen was stunned by the scene before him. The wind on the mountain top brushed against his eardrums, mixing with the sound of laughter from the person beside him. “It really looks like an eye. If we could borrow a plane to look from high above, it should be clearer. Some say this is a meteorite crater, while others say it’s the result of wind erosion after geological uplift. But there’s a more romantic explanation.”

He paused, and Lu Jingshen looked at him puzzled. Feng Si smiled and continued, “It’s the Eye of the Earth. It gazes tenderly here, waiting for its lover hidden in the universe to return.”

Lu Jingshen was slightly taken aback.

When Feng Si spoke, there was a reflection of him in his dark, bright eyes, equally tender and affectionate.

Like the Earth’s eye, silent and waiting, amidst the vast wilderness.

Descending from the mountain, it was still not yet noon when they returned to the small town where they had stayed the night before.

At this time, there were more people in the town compared to yesterday evening. Men wearing white caps and women wrapped in headscarves sold handmade crafts, quietly waiting for customers to arrive.

In the distance, the minaret of the mosque reflected the colors of the sunlight, peaceful and serene.

Lu Jingshen thought, if he were alone, he might want to stay in this place for a few more days.

He needed this rare tranquility.

Feng Si’s voice brought his thoughts back. He turned his head to see Feng Si squatting by the roadside bargaining with someone at a small stall.

Casual and carefree, his lips curled up in a smile.

As Lu Jingshen watched him, he suddenly realized that he was probably attracted to him because of this outgoing trait. The tranquility he craved clashed with the person in front of him, but Feng Si always managed to surprise him, creating new excitement. Yet, despite this, he still found himself irresistibly drawn to him.

When Feng Si returned from shopping, he had bought a handmade blanket at a low price, brightly colored with intricate patterns, of excellent quality, and a great deal.

“Why did you buy this?” Lu Jingshen asked.

Feng Si replied, “You always fall asleep in the car, so I bought it for you.”

Lu Jingshen was somewhat speechless.

He gazed at Feng Si, who was also looking at him, with a smile in his deep black eyes.

Lu Jingshen remembered the Eye of the Sahara he had seen on the mountain before, the eye of the earth, silently staring, waiting for the return of a lover.

But the eyes before him were even more tender and affectionate, with added vivaciousness and unrestraint, giving him even more of a shock.

“Why are you staring at me?” Feng Si asked him.

Lu Jingshen hesitated before saying, “Your eyes are very beautiful.”

Feng Si truly smiled this time. “Really? Thanks for the compliment.”

Lu Jingshen stared into those eyes, trying to remember the expression and warmth in them at this moment.

For many years to come, what he would always remember and yearn for was the smile in those eyes.

“Shall we go?” Feng Si asked again, having already filled up the car with gas.

It happened to be after the hottest time of the afternoon sun. Although they were hitting the road now, they didn’t know where they would end up for the night. They would just keep moving forward.

Lu Jingshen nodded.

Sitting in the car, Feng Si turned on the air conditioning and tossed the blanket he had bought earlier to him. “You can sleep if you want. You looked tired last night.”

He said it casually, but Lu Jingshen held onto the blanket tightly, feeling a slight blush creeping up his neck.

“Where are we going now?” Lu Jingshen asked, trying to ease his discomfort.

“I don’t know, we’ll see as we go,” Feng Si replied, glancing at the navigation on his phone before starting the car, taking a different route from the one they had taken in the morning.

Their journey had just begun.

Author’s note:

I’ve written quite a bit about the details of their trip to Africa in the main text, so I won’t go into further detail. Let’s stop here.