Deep Desire chapter 36
Mine
The plane landed in Beijing at 5 pm, and outside, the first snow of the winter was falling.
Coming from a warm place to the chill of winter, Lu Jingshen felt a bit uncomfortable. He wrapped his coat tightly around himself as he walked down the walkway. When he turned around, he saw Feng Si saying goodbye to others with a smile. The fog from his breath made his face blurry. Lu Jingshen watched him like that, and his emotions gradually calmed down.
Feng Si turned around and saw that Lu Jingshen hadn’t left yet; he was still standing beneath the plane waiting for him. Surprisingly, Feng Si hurried down and his eyes gleamed, “Waiting for me?”
Lu Jingshen’s hands were in his coat pockets as he turned around, “Let’s go.”
Feng Si caught up with him, teasingly said, “Let’s go home then.”
Lu Jingshen’s heart trembled slightly, but he didn’t say anything.
The car that came to pick them up arrived half an hour ago, waiting outside.
Liu Jie was also in the car. Except for family members, only a few trusted individuals knew about Lu Jingshen’s safe return to the country.
Sitting in the car, Liu Jie immediately started reporting work to him. There were so many things that happened in the company in the past month that it was impossible to summarize them briefly.
Most of what Lu Jingshen needed to know was already told to him on the phone by Lu Jing Qing. Liu Jie added more details.
Lu Jingshen listened quietly, and the development of the situation was as he expected. After the board meeting the day after tomorrow, he would remove the stumbling blocks in the company and truly take control.
Lu Jingshen was not a person without ambition. After so many years of dedication to the company, his goal was exactly that.
Liu Jie talked all the way, and when they returned to Mingyue Bay, she still wanted to continue reporting the work to him.
Feng Si stopped her, “Alright, Secretary Liu, we just flew for ten hours, and we haven’t adjusted to the time difference. We haven’t even had dinner yet.”
Liu Jie looked embarrassed, and Feng Si directly concluded, “That’s it for today. Come again tomorrow.”
Lu Jingshen glanced at Feng Si but didn’t object, seeming to quietly accept his suggestion.
Liu Jie realized it wasn’t appropriate to continue and awkwardly said she’d come back the next day, then hurriedly left.
Feng Si turned back and teased Lu Jingshen, “After not seeing each other for over a month, Secretary Liu is even more impatient.”
Lu Jingshen turned and entered the elevator first, and Feng Si followed. He took out his phone and checked the food delivery app, asking Lu Jingshen what he wanted to eat.
Lu Jingshen casually replied, “You decide.”
Feng Si put away his phone, “Then let’s eat out, there’s a newly opened restaurant just across the neighborhood.”
Lu Jingshen nodded.
After going upstairs to put down their luggage, they went out again.
The restaurant Feng Si mentioned was just a ten-minute walk from the neighborhood gate. The snow was still falling, and he opened an umbrella, wrapping his arm around Lu Jingshen’s shoulder. Lu Jingshen looked up and hesitated, “You should get another umbrella.”
“Why didn’t you say that earlier?” Feng Si lazily said, “I don’t want to now; let’s just use this.”
As night fell, the snow fell even heavier, and the city lights looked hazy and desolate. Feng Si held him close, walking into the snow haze.
Lu Jingshen focused on the path ahead, and the cold wind made his ears slightly red. Feng Si turned his head and, seeing this, asked near his ear, “Have you ever watched the night snow with someone else before?”
His lips brushed against Lu Jingshen’s earlobe almost imperceptibly, making Lu Jingshen slightly shiver. He furrowed his brows lightly, “No.”
“I have,” Feng Si whispered, “One year in New York, also the first snow, I walked with someone like this, sharing an umbrella.”
Lu Jingshen subconsciously asked, “Who?”
Feng Si replied, “A man.”
Lu Jingshen’s hand, in his coat pocket, unconsciously tightened, “Where did you go?”
“Where else? We booked a hotel room,” Feng Si said casually.
Lu Jingshen’s fingertips dug into his palm, and he remained silent for a while.
“Unfortunately, it didn’t happen in the end,” Feng Si smiled, “We drank too much, so we gave up.”
That time, Feng Si attended a party, got drunk, and as he was leaving, someone approached him and asked if he wanted to go to a hotel. He didn’t remember what the person looked like; all he could recall were the eyes, which were very similar to Lu Jingshen’s. That person, or rather, that young man, said he was a student studying abroad in New York and that it was his first time attending a party. He hadn’t expected to be infatuated with another man at first sight.
As the night wind blew away Feng Si’s tipsiness, he realized he wasn’t truly drunk. At the hotel entrance, he lit a cigarette and smoked quietly. When the young man hesitantly asked if they should go in, Feng Si looked at him.
Without the influence of alcohol, his clouded mind became extraordinarily clear and sober.
It was different.
They looked similar, but their essence was different. The person he liked wouldn’t look at him with that kind of seemingly pleasing gaze, wouldn’t show a similar shy and awkward expression, and definitely wouldn’t be so straightforward and tell him they liked him.
In this world, there might be countless people who looked like him, but none of them was him.
After crushing the cigarette butt, he called a car for the young man and sent him away without any attachment. Then he left without looking back.
Until he completely forgets that person, he will keep searching.
Feng suddenly remembered that old story, not because there was anything particularly worth remembering about that boy back then, but because it was after that moment that his attitude changed.
No longer holding expectations, there won’t be disappointments. Considering the process of searching as a form of enjoyment, more than a struggle
And in the end, he found him, didn’t he?
Lu Jingshen stopped walking, turned to face him, stayed silent for a moment, and then lifted his hands to grab his collar.
In the future… don’t casually book a room with someone else.
Lu Jingshen’s voice trembled slightly, probably even he lacked confidence while saying those words.
Feng Si smirked and teased him, ‘Lujing, you’re quite domineering. You know'”
Lu Jingshen replied, ‘You got yourself into it. You know I don’t like sharing… both things and people.'”
In the end, those last words were somewhat unclear, but Feng Si heard them clearly.”
“‘Alex, am I your person?'” he asked.
“Lu Jingshen persisted, ‘Aren’t you?'”
Feng’s eyes showed emotions that Lu Jingshen couldn’t understand. After a moment of silence, he slowly said, ‘Yes, I am.'”
Lu Jingshen felt relieved, and his hands released their grip.
Feng Si didn’t say anything more, just embraced him again, saying, ‘Let’s go.'”
After finishing dinner, it was already past 8 PM.
When they got back home, Feng Si moved all the piled-up packages outside the door inside. Those were all things he bought since Lu Jingshen never shopped online. The house was cold and empty, but with Feng Si , it finally started to feel a bit like a home.”
Lu Jingshen noticed a long-unused mailbox on the wall with a piece of paper inside. It turned out to be a postcard. He took it down but didn’t have time to look at it as Feng Si called him from inside the room.
Lu Jingshen absentmindedly stuffed the postcard into his coat pocket and entered the room.
After taking a shower, it was not yet 9 PM. Lu Jingshen sat at his desk and opened his notebook, intending to pass the time by reading the documents Liu Jie had sent him.
But inattentive, he remembered the postcard he just brought in. He took it out from the coat hanging on the rack and sat back down at the desk.
The postcard had a red background with a large fiery red rose. It was another postcard that Feng Si sent from Oslo, Norway, along with the two he sent before.
Lu Jingshen was slightly startled. He turned the postcard over, and in the blank space on the back, there was a message written by Feng Si’s own hand.
“‘Alex,
I wrote this postcard in Oslo, Norway, where you were also present. The morning sunlight was beautiful, and we had breakfast together in a restaurant. It felt strange, like I had been waiting for this day for too long.
We agreed to come here together to see the Northern Lights, and this time, it finally became possible. They say you can see the Northern Lights in this city at night, a symbol of good luck. Last night, we saw it together. Does it mean that good luck has come to both of us?
I hope so.
I know you must be curious about whom I’m sending this postcard to. If you ask me directly, I’ll tell you, it’s for you.
It’s the first time I’ve sent a postcard to you, and I’m glad.
I look forward to you receiving this postcard and being as happy as I am.
Feng
October 19, 2022′”
Lu Jingshen stared at those lines, his mind blank. His world fell silent because of those words.
Only the sound of his heartbeat, strong and overwhelming, drowned out everything else, resonating throughout his chest.
He turned the postcard back over, and next to the red rose, there was a line of English poetry.
‘You are the last rose in my barren land.’
The intense and unadorned affection was the essence of that poem.
When Feng Si chose this postcard, he must have seen that line as well.
Lu Jingshen bent down, resting his forehead on his elbow, tightly gripping the postcard in his hand, motionless.
In the bathroom, Feng Si was showering when suddenly the light went out.
He turned off the water, held his breath, and listened for a moment before turning it back on.
The sound of water covered the footsteps and the chaotic heartbeat. The warmth of the body pressed against him, and an extended arm wrapped around his waist.
Feng Si turned around, feeling Lu Jingshen’s wet bathrobe. He helped him take it off and asked, ‘Didn’t you just shower? What are you doing here?'”
The darkness concealed the expression in Lu Jingshen’s eyes at that moment. He leaned toward Feng Si and passionately kissed him.
His tongue eagerly explored Feng Si’s mouth, entwining with him passionately.
The entangled lips and teeth couldn’t fully convey the turbulent emotions and desires in Lu Jingshen’s heart. The more he kissed, the more he felt unsatisfied. That level was far from enough to fulfill his inner yearning.
His desire for this man was never just physical.
Even though he had never admitted it.
The long kiss ended, and Lu Jingshen pressed his lips against Feng Si’s, breathing heavily and erratically.
Feng Si chuckled softly, ‘What’s wrong? You’re being overly enthusiastic tonight. I haven’t finished showering yet.'”
Lu Jingshen’s voice was slightly hoarse, ‘Isn’t a little enthusiasm good?'”
“Absolutely, it’s more than good.”
Feng Si was pleased, ‘Do you want to continue?'”
Lu Jingshen handed him something he brought in especially. Rarely so proactive, Feng Si graciously accepted it, and his strong arms encircled Lu Jingshen’s waist, swapping positions and pressing him against the wall. His thighs firmly nestled between Lu Jingshen’s legs.
With Lu Jingshen being so tall, Feng completely supported him, lifting his feet off the ground. That position made Lu Jingshen feel a bit uneasy, so he could only hold onto Feng’s shoulders, fully surrendering himself to him.
In the enclosed darkness, only the sound of water and the intertwined breaths could be heard, concealing everything else beneath.
Feng Si got closer, and his breath fell on Lu Jingshen’s lips, whispering, ‘Alex, become mine too, i want you all for myself.'”
Lu Jingshen’s response was another eager kiss that covered his lips.