Decayed Vulgarian chapter 46
Weak People
Shen Xun could only comply and maintain the embrace, tilting his chin and repeating the previous question, “Have you eaten?”
Meng Yuan Cen nodded, and the subtle shift in weight transmitted through Shen Xun’s right shoulder. “Yes.”
“Can you come to my bedroom, then?”
“There are some things I want to talk to you about, some… past matters.”
To solve a problem, one must take action.
Meng Yuan Cen lifted his gaze abruptly. He really wanted to tell Shen Xun that he didn’t need to say anything; he could take his time. After all, he was patient and would wait for him to open up.
But before he could speak, his wrist was enveloped by the palm of the other. Shen Xun pulled his arm, leading him into the bedroom. The soft warmth silently filled his heart, and he heard Shen Xun’s voice, cold yet resolute, “We were always interrupted before. This time I’m determined to succeed and tell you everything.”
Meng Yuan Cen stood behind Shen Xun’s left side, so if he lowered his gaze by a few inches, he could see the exposed nape of Shen Xun’s neck, pure and white. He couldn’t resist raising his hand to lift the dark tips of the hair above the neck, revealing the skin beneath, gently kneading it with his fingertips.
Shen Xun made no attempt to avoid the touch, letting Meng Yuan Cen’s fingertips move across the texture of his skin. Meng Yuan Cen couldn’t help but think that Shen Xun was truly like a hedgehog; yes, he had spikes all over him, but they would never point toward him.
“It’s not a big deal, really. I’ve been thinking about it for the past few days and thought there’s no harm in telling you. It’s my problem, it’s me—”
His voice abruptly halted, and he paused for a few seconds before finding a somewhat accurate adjective. “It’s that I’m too cautious and reserved.”
The light in the bedroom suddenly switched on.
Shen Xun sat on the bed in his usual posture, leaning back against the pillows, legs bent, and arms crossed around his knees. “This dates back to before the college entrance exams.”
The voice, so close, seemed to float from a distant place, dispersing into the cold winter air.
“In general public opinion, parents place immense importance on the college entrance exams. However, my family was an exception. Although my mother cared, she wasn’t that concerned, and my dad never paid any attention. Besides, our house was quite far from the high school I attended, so I stayed in the dormitory during my three years of high school.”
As Shen Xun spoke, he suddenly realized that this was the first time he had deliberately tried to tell someone about his past, and the content was some trivial and boring old story. But if the person was Meng Yuan Cen, he would make an effort to make it sound more interesting.
However, being misunderstood was the destiny of the one expressing it. Could Meng Yuan Cen truly understand him?
“A few days before the college entrance exam, I went home during the break. My mother said although she usually couldn’t help me, she wanted to accompany me once for the exams. Then one evening, she asked my father if he’d arranged the accommodation I’d previously asked him to.”
“My father didn’t respond. My mother asked why he was silent, saying it was just a matter of telling my aunt. Shen Xun added, ‘My aunt’s house is near the exam site so it was convenient to stay with her during the exam period .'”
“My father remained silent. My mother sensed something was amiss and began to question my father. ‘Can’t you hear me talking to you?’ My mother continued to pressure him. Suddenly, my father erupted, yelling that we weren’t allowed to contact Shen Ru.”
“Shen Ru is my aunt’s name.”
“My mother, after hearing this, kept asking why. My father, annoyed at being questioned, finally explained that he had a major falling out with my aunt a month ago due to the division of property. My mother said, ‘So, you can’t swallow your pride. Then, I’ll contact her myself.’ My father was annoyed and said, ‘No, it’s not possible. Anyway, neither of you will talk to her or stay at her place.'”
“My mother asked where we would stay. My father replied, ‘I don’t know.’ My mother asked if it was still possible to book a hotel. My father said, ‘I don’t know.’ My mother continued, ‘The college entrance exam is in a few days. Since you knew your sister’s place was out of the question earlier, why didn’t you book a hotel earlier?’ My father said, ‘I’ve been so busy, I couldn’t think about it.'”
“That was about three days before the college entrance exam. You know, some parents book hotels right at the start of the second semester of senior high school. The hotels nearby were all taken. The ones farther away were available, but they were too distant. If I stayed there, I’d have to get up at six in the morning.”
“Then my father and mother started quarreling. It was a heated argument, but neither was thinking about solving the problem first. Instead, they dug out many trivial old matters and accused each other. I was about to take the college entrance exam, yet I had to listen to them arguing over this avoidable issue. It annoyed me.”
Upon hearing this, coupled with Shen He’s description of Shen’s father, Meng Yuan Cen vaguely had a premonition that Shen Xun’s description of the argument might not be as simple as the words described it. It might have been a much more violent argument, with the wounds caused by the interruptions of continuous memories forming rifts. When they healed, they left a scar. Shen Xun hurried past.
Unintentionally, he tightened his grip on Shen Xun’s palm, even lightening his breath, afraid of adding pressure to those wounds. He listened as Shen Xun continued.
“So, I quietly sneaked back to my own bedroom, called my homeroom teacher on my phone, and asked if I could still apply to stay at the school for two days for the college entrance exam. My homeroom teacher said, ‘Why didn’t you apply earlier? Fortunately, you still have time.'”
“Then, I packed a few review materials, prepared my school bag, and before returning to the campus, I went to the living room and asked them stop quarreling as I was going back to school. Finally, they stopped quarreling. I felt like the whole world was quiet again.”
“My mom looked at me in shock and asked if I applied for accommodation. I said, ‘I just applied.’ She then asked, ‘But what about food?’ I replied, ‘I’ll eat at the school canteen. I’ve been eating there for three years and won’t have an upset stomach these two days. My mom said, ‘I even got my days off. I planned to accompany you for the exam.’ I told her, ‘You don’t have to now. You can rest at home.'”
“Finally, she said she’d take me to the school, but I refused and told them to Let it go. Shen He was hungry, and neither of them had had dinner. So I just told them to stay home and have dinner. It’s was one and a half-hour round trip anyway.'”
“That evening, I took a taxi back to school by myself. Few people stayed in the school for the college entrance exam, and my roommates had all left. So, I was alone in the dorm those days.”
“Then, the college entrance exam ended smoothly, and that matter passed away. I didn’t regard it as a regret. Sometimes when I recalled this incident, I thought, ‘Oh, so this also happened back then.'”
“But now, I feel like it’s quietly affecting me. Because later on, for every important thing, I never let my parents get involved. I don’t trust them. I feel like only I am the most reliable.”
At this point, Shen Xun slowly exhaled. “So, I need to slowly change my perspective because I’ve been like this since childhood, rarely depending on others.”
He smiled, jokingly adding, “After all, relying on others seems to end up not so good.”
“This is the first thing I’ve never told Liang Yan. I only told you just now,” Shen Xun continued. “The second thing is even more boring.”
“In summary, it’s that my parents disagreed with me becoming a forensic doctor. I agreed on the surface, but when I filled out my preferences, I chose forensic medicine. My dad chased me with a clothes hanger in the yard. It’s quite ridiculous when you think about that scene. Is that the most outrageous thing I’ve ever done?”
Shen Xun spoke in a light and unimportant manner. He intentionally made his expression and tone light and humorous. But when he finished speaking and raised his eyes, he found that Meng Yuan Cen’s face had no trace of a smile, his gaze heavy.
As a result, Shen Xun couldn’t smile either.
“I’ve always been…how should I say it? I guess I’m someone who accepts things that come my way.”
“I have met many of my parents’ requests, just to reduce friction and arguments.”
“But the college entrance exam preferences determined my life’s trajectory. So, I couldn’t listen to my parents. Choosing my partner, which will also determine my life’s path. Therefore… I will definitely come out to my parents in the future. But I’ve become accustomed to being cowardly, always lacking the courage to tell them proactively.”
“I told Liang Yan things I hadn’t told him before, which I’ve now shared with you. That’s all about that evening…I’m sorry.”
As soon as he finished speaking, Meng Yuan Cen abruptly embraced Shen Xun, rubbing his hair with his palm and then pressing his face against his chest. He earnestly said, “That’s not being cowardly.”
Shen Xun fell silent for a moment, closing his eyes and muffledly asked, “How is it not cowardly?”
Meng Yuan Cen’s lips moved, and he really wanted to say that if he had a father like Shen Taian, he would also choose to keep it a secret. But he didn’t say it. After a long time, he squeezed out, “If I say it’s not, then it’s not.”
“Okay,” Shen Xun was rarely amused by Meng Yuan Cen’s childlike words. “You seem different from usual today.”
“You’re not cowardly.” Meng Yuan Cen, as if he didn’t hear Shen Xun’s words, reiterated his opinion and continued to earnestly tell Shen Xun, “You’re brave, calm, careful, and perceptive—on a murder scene, on the dissecting table.”
“Because I think, a coward can’t be a forensic doctor.”
Shen Xun suddenly looked up, paused for a few seconds, and then smiled, his pupils reflecting the bright yellow light from the chandelier. “Thanks for the rain rainbow fart Mr. Meng.”
Meng Yuan Cen’s Adam’s apple rolled, and an indistinct emotion surged in his eyes. “I’m serious.”
Shen Xun, however, was completely unaware of this and chuckled with his head down. “Thank you for the serious rainbow farts, Mr. Meng.”
Author’s Note:
“Being misunderstood is the fate of the speaker.” — From “Quirks of Fate” (a Chinese TV program).
A metaphorical and more formal synonym for “rainbow farts” could be “colorful compliments” or “flattering remarks.”