Decayed Vulgarian chapter 45

Hedgehog

After a brief silence, Shen He suddenly asked, “Have you seen a hedgehog?”

He attempted a simple description, “They seem soft and gentle even when resisting, but when they curl into a ball, they’re entirely covered in spines, indestructible.”

Meng Yuan Cen’s gaze fixed momentarily in mid-air before returning to normal. “What do you mean by ‘even when resisting gently’?”

Tilting his head, Shen He thought for a moment, then explained, “ Outwardly, they might seem friendly, as if genuinely agreeing with others’ words, but internally, the person might have cursed them a thousand times over.”

“My brother is that kind of person. He rarely loses his temper in daily life, and hardly gets into heated disputes. He always tells me it’s unnecessary, trying to defuse potential conflicts through avoidance whenever he senses a confrontation is about to happen. But you know, sometimes, viewpoints need to collide and rub against each other to understand and comprehend each other better.”

Meng Yuan Cen seemed contemplative.

Shen He continued, “Actually, my brother and I have a good relationship, but he seldom shares those difficult-to-resolve negative emotions with me. I initially thought it was because he felt I was too young and inexperienced. Later, I found out he’s like this with everyone.”

“I asked him why he didn’t talk to someone about it. He said that the real pain begins from the moment you start thinking about it. Speaking it out loud only intensifies the pain. Not only is there a chance of not being understood, but there’s also a likelihood of receiving unwanted ‘well-meant’ advice from onlookers.”

Meng Yuan Cen’s eyes flickered, still remaining silent.

“Even if it’s spoken, it doesn’t help in resolving the problem. He believes it’s challenging for people to genuinely understand each other. If it does happen, it’s because the listener has gone through similar experiences. Empathizing with others is actually empathizing with oneself. Although I don’t entirely agree with this viewpoint.”

“I believe someone with strong empathy can almost entirely understand others because I’m that kind of person. That’s my life experience. But he isn’t that kind of person. His life experience tells him he can’t completely understand others’ pain, and he also thinks others can’t understand him.”

“But maybe it’s a good thing for him because he’s a cop and a forensic doctor. He needs to be more rational.”

Meng Yuan Cen grunted in acknowledgment that he was listening.

Shen He continued, “I grew up only witnessing him losing his temper twice.”

“One time was when he finished his college entrance examination and the family decided on finance as his major. He agreed outwardly but secretly filled in forensic medicine. When Dad found out, he was furious and ran around the yard chasing my brother with a clothes hanger. My brother initially dodged, but after a while, he got angry and snatched the hanger from Dad, bent it, and threw it on the ground. At that time, Dad couldn’t fight back against my brother.”

Thinking about it, it has quite a vivid contrast. Meng Yuan Cen chuckled at the mention.

“As for the other time,” Shen He paused for a moment, and the smile on his face gradually disappeared. “That time was really dangerous.”

“I was young and rash, not understanding things. I was naïve and dared to argue with Dad over some differences. Even when he raised the bowl to smash it at me in anger, fortunately, I wasn’t hit, and it shattered on the ground.”

“When my brother returned from school, the house was a mess. He stepped over the shards, said nothing, and pulled my arm, dragging me back to the bedroom. The door wasn’t closed. I sat on the bed and watched him pick up a broom, silently cleaning the floor and dumping the broken pieces into the trash.”

“After cleaning up, he came to me, and he closed the door behind him. He had a particularly unpleasant expression, and his eyes felt intense.”

“He began shakingly asking me if I was hurt. I said I wasn’t. He breathed a sigh of relief.”

“Then he stood in front of me and launched into a rant. He said, ‘Shen He, are you insane? Why did you argue with Shen Taian? Have you gone mad?’ Shen Taian is our father’s name.”

“I said I was right in this matter; but dad wouldn’t listen to a a word I said.”

“He replied, ‘I’ve told you before, Shen Taian never listens to reason. Don’t try to reason with him; otherwise, you’ll be losing even if you win. When Shen Taian loses it, he’s completely irrational.'”

“I said it couldn’t be that extreme. He coldly remarked, ‘Shen He, you’re still too young; you haven’t seen Shen Taian truly lose it!'”

Shen He’s voice suddenly softened, and his breath momentarily paused. “Then he told me something.”

”Teacher Meng, the house you just saw is not where my brother spent his childhood. We moved houses once. In our old house, there was a wooden door that was cracked, missing a piece of wood.”

“I’ve always been curious about why that door ended up that way. I asked my mother, I asked my brother. They were both extremely secretive about it. But on that day, my brother finally agreed to tell me.”

“He said it was the first big fight between our parents after they got married. My dad wielded a kitchen knife, but luckily mom dodged it.”

“Then he told me, ‘Shen He, in the future, try not to argue with Shen Taian. Silence might lessen unnecessary disputes, but it does not mean compromise. If you genuinely want to resist, first ensure your safety.”

“He continued, ‘If I hadn’t returned in time that day, if Shen Taian had disfigured you with the bowl, if the shards had harmed your eyes, Shen He, it would have been irreversible. Even if Shen Taian regretted it afterward and wanted to make up for it, his regret is pathetic, just thinking about it disgusts me.”

“He also said, ‘Shen Taian is like a bomb that could explode anytime. Our only option is to avoid him, reduce contact and communication, to prevent accidentally igniting his fuse.’

“I was genuinely frightened by his words that time, so I later followed his lead, seemingly complying with my dad but far from having his level of skill.'”

Finally, Shen He returned to his usual cheerful tone. “Teacher Meng, please do not tell my brother that I’ve told you these things. He doesn’t like me sharing these, but I consider you as family, that’s why I confided in you. I trust you.'”

Meng Yuan Cen earnestly replied, “Thank you for your trust. I will keep it confidential.”

After dropping Shen He off at the school gate, Meng Yuan Cen’s car made a U-turn and returned to the parking lot of the Emerald Garden shortly after. He hurriedly made his way up the hallway, not even turning on the lights, merely relying on the flashlight of his phone. He quickly inserted the key into the lock and pushed the door open, finally seeing the familiar and slim figure.

Shen Xun was sitting alone on the sofa in the living room, engrossed in his iPad. Upon hearing the sound, he stood up and walked over to greet him. He casually remarked, “You’re back so soon. I thought it would take another ten minutes for you to arrive.”

Meng Yuan Cen lowered his eyes, changed into slippers, and responded, “Yeah.”

Shen Xun asked again, “You must have had dinner before coming to pick me up?”

Meng Yuan Cen did not reply. Suddenly, he lifted his head and stared at Shen Xun. Though Shen Xun’s eyes usually appeared profound, when directed at him, they were always clear and transparent. Without warning, he stepped forward, encircling Shen Xun’s waist in an unabashed manner, tightly embracing him.

Puzzled, Shen Xun couldn’t help but laugh. “I asked if you’d had dinner, and this is how you answer? Why can’t I understand it?”

As Shen He’s narrative emerged in his memory, Meng Yuan Cen parted his lips but chose to swallow all his words. He rested his chin on Shen Xun’s shoulder, the fabric of his woolen coat brushing against the jawline, causing a tickling sensation. His heart also began to tremble in response, and with closed eyes, he softly said, “I missed you. Can’t I hug you?”

Shen Xun paused for a moment before hugging Meng Yuan Cen with both arms and feeling a sense of inexplicable pride. “Oh, so it’s you who can’t even wait a few minutes.”

Meng Yuan Cen remained silent, tightening his embrace, and in the end, didn’t say anything.