Blue Cocktail chapter 44

The person who was called by name pretended not to hear, silently breaking free from Lu Huaiqian’s embrace, lowering his head, and sitting on the edge of the bed without looking at the other person.

However, Cheng Shuo didn’t expect that Lu Huaiqian would remain standing in front of him, as unmoving as a mountain, persistently waiting for a response.

Lu Huaiqian’s muffled voice carried a sense of oppression, “Why?”

“Why.” Cheng Shuo murmured, furrowing his brows in confusion. Suddenly, he raised his head, “It’s just a cheek kiss, you know? It’s a Western social etiquette, one of the ways friends express affection and closeness. You’ve studied abroad, don’t tell me you don’t know about this?”

Lu Huaiqian’s gaze dimmed slightly, “A cheek kiss doesn’t actually involve kissing the other person’s cheek. It’s just making a kissing sound when the cheeks touch.”

Cheng Shuo fell into silence again.

After a long pause, he suddenly lifted his gaze, staring at Lu Huaiqian’s expressionless face. “Why are you asking this question? What do you want me to say? What else can I say? I just had a moment of madness, maybe I’m tipsy, and I felt like kissing your cheek, there’s no reason, I don’t know why—”

The next moment, Cheng Shuo’s eyes widened.

“Uh—”

Lu Huaiqian forcefully kissed him.

His kiss was passionate, like a sudden erupting tsunami. He no longer cautiously probed but instead seized and plundered, kissing until the temperature became scorching, breathing synchronized, kissing until Cheng Shuo’s body began to soften and tremble.

A low, hoarse syllable squeezed out from his throat, “Cheng Shuo.”

Cheng Shuo was forced to tilt his head upward, enduring it. He didn’t know when his tongue had been conquered, but it happened unnoticed.

Breaths turned into a whirlwind over the sea, an endless entanglement, ceaseless intimacy.

Beneath the calm sea surface, in the abyssal depths, a storm was stirred by the blue jellyfish, and it was ready to sacrifice itself. Lu Huaiqian thought he was an explorer of the deep sea, prying open the hard shell of an oyster, using teeth and tongue to explore the soft flesh within, savoring the taste, insatiable.

To obtain the desired response to the pain.

Unconsciously, his fingers entangled, the bedsheet crinkled, Cheng Shuo was kissed until he became completely limp. He instinctively placed his hands on Lu Huaiqian’s chest, attempting to push him away but couldn’t muster the strength.

Although Lu Huaiqian sensed it, he chose to ignore it.

He forcefully pushed Cheng Shuo down, maliciously pressing his entire weight on Cheng Shuo’s chest, kissing the side of his neck and nibbling his ear.

The intoxicated blush on Cheng Shuo’s cheeks gradually spread to his eyes. The redness at the corners of his eyes became vivid yet cold, hinting at the tears of physical excitement. The thick, dense eyelashes couldn’t help but tremble.

He was like a blue rose waiting to bloom, trembling under the onslaught of the elements. Unable to escape the fate of being picked.

Lu Huaiqian squinted his eyes, the struggle in his eyes showing only a tip of the iceberg. Suddenly, he heard a hum from the person in his arms. In a semi-coaxing manner, it sounded like an act of spoiled affection, tempting his suppressed wild nerves. He couldn’t imagine how pleasant Cheng Shuo’s crying and moaning would sound. Thus, he couldn’t hold on to the last thread of his rationality—

Can’t stand it, damn it.

The blue rose belonged to him alone, ready to be picked sooner or later.

He wasn’t a casual person, enduring with patience, playing a game of pure love with Cheng Shuo for almost two months. It was time to claim the corresponding reward.

Lu Huaiqian used his fingertips to separate the petals of the blue rose, passing over the pistil. He reluctantly extracted a thread of reason to judge whether the object in his hand was shy or repulsive.

When he found out that the thorns of the rose were not directed at him but were all retracted.

He completely took advantage.

He had wanted to do this for a long time, he desperately wanted to.

He was hypocritical, vulgar, unconventional, and selfish. Actively seducing someone eight years younger than him. He lacked a sense of morality, but it didn’t matter; Cheng Shuo would tolerate him.

He also never understood why some people, when facing someone they liked, were willing to let go, staying behind the scenes. He would do everything to get what he wanted, including body and heart, without distinguishing between the two.

Just like now.

Absolute control, possession.

Living and dying in a drunken haze.

Consciousness floated and sank, on the edge of extinction, in the deep sea.

For a long time.

Suddenly, Cheng Shuo’s low murmur sounded in Lu Huaiqian’s ear, “No…”

In Lu Huaiqian’s ears, he treated it as a flirting technique, nurturing his desire for conquest, and he became more and more intense.

“No, don’t…” Cheng Shuo’s trembling voice repeated.

In that instant, Lu Huaiqian felt like he was going crazy. The fact that the other resisted somehow excited him.

So, he paid no attention and intensified his actions.

However, in the next moment, Cheng Shuo pushed him away.

It seemed like Cheng Shuo used all his strength to resist. Lu Huaiqian’s actions abruptly stopped, and he looked into Cheng Shuo’s eyes—where desire had been replaced by intense fear. He was horrified to see that Cheng Shuo was filled with vigilance and rejection.

Lu Huaiqian suddenly snapped out of his craze. The boiling blood gradually cooled, turning into an ancient, unchanging cold ice. He couldn’t remember when Cheng Shuo started resisting, whether it was because of his recent actions or something that happened much earlier.

His heart suddenly ached. He felt his throat tighten severely. After a prolonged silence, he finally uttered in a hoarse voice, “Cheng Shuo, I—”

“Don’t come over!”

Cheng Shuo’s terrified voice seemed genuine. He hastily sat up, pressed against the head of the bed, with nowhere else to retreat, displaying a defensive posture.

For the first time, Lu Huaiqian felt at a loss. He sat still, bewildered, opened his mouth several times to speak but stopped. Eventually, he forced out a sentence, “Okay, I won’t come over.”

Cheng Shuo hugged his knees. His entire body seemed immersed in profound fear, and he trembled subtly. His voice trembled as he said, “Please, let me go. Please, can you let me go?”

Lu Huaiqian’s pupils contracted slightly. He tentatively moved his lips but couldn’t produce a sound.

He had decided that he wouldn’t let go of someone he had set his sights on. Nearly thirty years of behavior patterns couldn’t be changed. Perhaps he could pretend to agree, but he didn’t want to deceive Cheng Shuo.

So, Lu Huaiqian chose silence. He silently clenched his hands into fists, and the veins on the back of his hands bulged.

The silence, lasting for a while, made Cheng Shuo somewhat desperate. “Why? You clearly have Cheng Yu. Why won’t you let me go?”

No, their conversation shouldn’t involve Cheng Yu. Cheng Yu is Cheng Shuo’s biological father, as mentioned in He Yin’s letter.

Lu Huaiqian suddenly realized that Cheng Shuo wasn’t talking to him. Similar to the situation after drinking away his heartbreak for the first time, Cheng Shuo had passed out, only to be awakened by thunder. He was now in a state of terror, looking at someone else through him.

Now, it seems like they had another conversation across time and space, but this time, he was mistaken for someone in Cheng Shuo’s memory.

Lu Huaiqian furrowed his brows.

He asked in a low voice, “Who am I?”

Cheng Shuo stared at him.

Lu Huaiqian said again, “Do you remember who I am?”

Cheng Shuo remained silent for a moment, then suddenly chuckled sarcastically. His eyes stared fiercely at the person opposite him, his voice trembling and harsh, “You are a hypocritical pseudo-gentleman, a forever-in-the-dark male third party, a perverted old man who likes to prey on children. I hope you get sick soon and die!

Lu Huaiqian suddenly stopped.

He remembered He Yin’s letter mentioning that Cheng Yu brought a third party home, caught cheating in bed by He Yin. Since then, He Yin had finally made up her mind to divorce.

But he made a mistake. He assumed the third party was female from the beginning, which was wildly inaccurate. He Yin’s letter never mentioned the gender of the third party.

Many overlooked details connected at this moment, and a dreadful speculation surfaced.

Lu Huaiqian once thought that his identity as the bar owner naturally weakened the credibility of his words and actions, making Cheng Shuo overly defensive. It seemed like from the beginning, Cheng Shuo had preconceived him as a bad person. This cognition was stubborn, paranoid, and almost unshakable.

But now, another possibility emerged. The third party involved in Cheng Yu’s affair was about thirty years old at that time.

In that instant, Lu Huaiqian wanted to give Cheng Shuo a hug, to say that everything was okay. However, in the slight movement of his body, he saw Cheng Shuo shrink.

Feeling somewhat helpless, he sighed deeply, restraining his impulses. Instead, he moved his body backward slightly and said gently, “You’ve mistaken me for someone else. I’m not him; I’m Lu Huaiqian.”

Cheng Shuo was stunned, looked up at him for a moment, then lowered his head, burying it between his knees.

“Remember when you were just cursing me as a big liar, an old fox? Does it ring a bell?”

“I carved carrots into rose shapes and arranged them for beef noodles, and you mocked me for it. I have a small car with a purple-gray gradient. You said I was too ostentatious, not caring about others. Does it ring a bell?”

He saw Cheng Shuo’s tense body seem to relax.

Lu Huaiqian stopped talking and silently accompanied Cheng Shuo in the quietness.

He sat there quietly, a considerable distance away from Cheng Shuo.

It seemed like a long time had passed, possibly ages.

The familiar voice finally resounded once again.

Faint and delicate.

“… I remember,” Cheng Shuo lowered his head as much as possible.

“Just now,” he hesitated for a moment, and after a long pause, he reluctantly moved his vocal cords, his voice hoarse, revealing exhaustion, “Just now, I seemed… a bit unclear. Please don’t take any of what I said to heart. It wasn’t directed at you. Just consider it me being drunk.”

Lu Huaiqian paused for a moment but asked, “Can I hug you?”

Cheng Shuo suddenly froze.

A drop of tear fell onto the bed sheet, spreading a deeper color. He very slowly nodded.

Lu Huaiqian leaned forward, enclosing the person in his arms. The person inside trembled violently, and the voice turned into a choked sob, “Fortunately, Cheng Yu came home in time that day. It was close, very close…”

Close to what?

He didn’t continue.

Cheng Shuo almost buried his entire face in Lu Huaiqian’s chest. When Lu Huaiqian lowered his head, all he could see was the ash-blue back of his head. He thought of reaching out to rub it, but suddenly remembered that Cheng Shuo didn’t like having his hair touched. He forcefully changed direction, ending up gently patting his back as a soothing gesture.

However, the person in his arms trembled even more violently, as if years of accumulated fear and resentment had erupted and surged, drowning his calm facade. He looked disheveled, a mix of desperation and hysteria, hating but powerless to change.

This was the second time Lu Huaiqian had seen Cheng Shuo cry.

About Cheng Shuo’s broken and unspeakable past, he unexpectedly glimpsed another corner.