Blazing fire is hard to extinguish chapter 53
I Love You
The meal was very quiet.
Lin Chi casually made some small talk, downplaying his relationship with Li Tingyan as just “old friends.” But after that, he was at a loss for words.
He was usually so adept in social situations, confident and poised, able to reject others without hesitation. But facing Li Tingyan, he became tongue-tied.
He cut the beef on his plate but had no appetite, continuously sipping his cocktail.
He finished one glass and ordered another.
In the short span of the meal, a row of empty glasses lined up in front of him.
Li Tingyan looked like he wanted to say something, but in the end, he remained silent.
This made Lin Chi feel somewhat resentful. He was probably a bit drunk, and his discontent grew.
He thought, if he didn’t know what to say, why didn’t Li Tingyan know either?
Wasn’t he speaking so fluently just now?
Saying he came to Thailand for him.
Saying he wanted to find him as soon as he landed.
Why was he silent now?
This made Lin Chi even more frustrated. He took another sip of his drink, his face flushing, his eyes dark and bright, misty like the humid summer air.
He stared at Li Tingyan with those eyes, not saying a word.
Li Tingyan felt a bit hot under his gaze. He didn’t know if it was because of the weather or something else.
When the last dish, Thai coconut cake, was served, Lin Chi ate just one piece and said he was full.
The unusually quiet meal left him feeling depressed.
He wiped the corner of his mouth and said expressionlessly, “I’m done eating. Please take me back to the hotel.”
Li Tingyan didn’t object and stood up directly.
When they walked down the stairs of the villa, he supported Lin Chi for a moment, but was quickly shrugged off.
However, Li Tingyan’s hand soon grabbed on again.
“It’s raining outside,” Li Tingyan told him, raising an umbrella to cover Lin Chi’s head.
It was indeed raining.
The garden was wet, and the stone path was a bit slippery.
Lin Chi had been drinking and his steps were unsteady, but he clearly wasn’t that drunk. He looked at the blue umbrella, then at Li Tingyan, and ultimately said nothing.
In the car, the door locked, yet it felt like the dampness of the rain had seeped inside.
Li Tingyan didn’t start the car immediately.
Lin Chi looked at him after a long time.
Not knowing how much time had passed, Lin Chi started to grow impatient. He grasped the car door handle, contemplating whether to get out and take a taxi back to the hotel.
Suddenly, he heard Li Tingyan speak softly.
“Before having dinner with you today, I waited near your shooting location. I sat alone in the car, preparing many drafts in my mind, thinking about what to say when I saw you, how to talk about our separation over the past six months, how to express my feelings, how to… bring you back to my side.”
With his eyes lowered, from Lin Chi’s angle, Li Tingyan’s long, thick eyelashes looked like fans.
He sighed lightly, turned his head to look at Lin Chi, and smiled helplessly.
“But when I saw you, I couldn’t say any of it.”
Lin Chi was taken aback.
He turned to look at Li Tingyan.
The raindrops outside tapped against the window, seemingly blurring the sounds inside the car.
He hadn’t expected Li Tingyan to suddenly say these things, his face blank.
Li Tingyan smiled faintly.
His trip to Thailand was clearly with the intention of reconciling with Lin Chi.
After letting Lin Chi go at the airport, he dreamt of him every night.
Dreaming of him sitting in his garden, of him nestled in bed watching videos, of him barefoot on the floor, dancing to music.
Every night, these dreams reminded him of what he had missed.
So he went to Helsinki.
But now, four months had passed since that night in Helsinki.
Seeing Lin Chi in person, he realized that the question he most wanted to ask, the answer he most urgently sought, wasn’t whether Lin Chi still loved him.
But rather…
Was he doing well?
For the past six months, his informants had been constantly feeding him information about Lin Chi, just as he had revealed, he knew everything about Lin Chi.
But only seeing him with his own eyes could put him at ease.
He asked softly, “How have you been these past six months? I’ve seen a lot of news about you back home. You’ve been to fashion weeks, become the finale model for Yu Nian, many people like you, you’ve become an ambassador for luxury brands, shot promotional films, and joined Gu Yiyuan’s film crew…”
“Every few days, I hear news about you, all highlighting your achievements.”
“But I keep wondering if you’re doing well. Have you been dieting for your figure? Was Gu Yiyuan harsh during your first film shoot? The international fashion scene isn’t easy, right? Have you been bullied? If you were wronged, who did you talk to? Has Huo Yuning been taking good care of you? And that day in Helsinki, I couldn’t wait for you to wake up. When you left the airport, I didn’t stop you. After all this time, have you really been waiting for me?”
For Li Tingyan, these words were extremely revealing. As a reserved person, he wasn’t good at organizing beautiful, heartfelt words.
But seeing Lin Chi, these words naturally flowed out.
He looked at Lin Chi, his eyes like the night in Chiang Mai outside the window, containing the fog and rain of a summer.
He spoke softly, “While we were having dinner just now, I kept thinking about these things but didn’t know how to start.”
“I also wanted to present myself more effortlessly in front of you, to be graceful, to say something interesting, to make you happy, just like you used to like.”
“But I can’t do it.”
…
But I can’t do it.
These five words hit Lin Chi’s eardrums like small hammers.
He instinctively opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but no sound came out.
He just stared at Li Tingyan in a daze.
Li Tingyan seemed unchanged from his memory, still handsome and composed, unflinching even in the face of a collapsing mountain.
In his impression, Li Tingyan had always been strong, composed, whether at work or in front of him.
This was the first time he saw him showing such helplessness and frustration, uncertain and anxious, like an ordinary man not knowing how to win the heart of his beloved.
This made Lin Chi inexplicably feel a bit sad.
“You really are…”
He said softly.
His hand loosened from the door handle and fell to his lap, his eyes shifting from Li Tingyan to the rain outside the window.
“How could I be anything but fine?”
He said quietly.
“As you know, my career has soared over the past six months. I’ve met many new people, some of whom have become my mentors, willing to give me work opportunities.”
“Many people are pursuing me. Besides work, I seem to be attending parties all the time. Everyone is very enthusiastic and kind to me. Occasionally, there are one or two annoying people, but I can ignore them now. The work opportunities that belong to me won’t be easily taken away.”
“I rented a hotel suite in Paris, with the Eiffel Tower right outside the window. When I was seventeen, I never imagined I would live like this one day.”
“I’ve already surpassed the best dream I had at seventeen. My life is flawless now. So what could be wrong?”
His last words were spoken softly.
And he was being honest.
As someone who had risen from the bottom to the runway, as someone who had moved from a dark, decaying county to his current life, he had always been content and happy with life.
He had everything an ordinary person could hardly imagine, so what could he possibly be dissatisfied with?
But when he said these words, his voice trembled for some unknown reason.
As he blinked, a tear rolled down his cheek.
It fell on the back of his hand.
He cursed something in French quickly, leaned back in the passenger seat, and covered his face with his hand.
The car remained silent for a long time.
Li Tingyan’s breathing became rapid.
He reached out to Lin Chi, but only lightly touched the tip of his hair.
“I really feel like I’m living well.”
Lin Chi’s hand still covered his eyes. He shed only one tear, then stopped.
But his nose was still red, like a peach blossom.
“If you hadn’t come to Finland to find me, I might have continued living well.”
“When I said goodbye to you at the airport, I was serious. I didn’t hold out much hope that you would come looking for me. I was learning to let you go. Life abroad was busy; I was walking the runway, shooting, and socializing. I had no time to think about you. Give me a little more time, and I could have forgotten you. I could, I really could.”
As he said this, he moved his hand slightly, looking at Li Tingyan with his red eyes.
“But why did you, you bastard, chase me all the way to Helsinki? I went so far away from you, why did you still come after me?”
He gritted his teeth and questioned Li Tingyan, “You left me a note on your own, asking me to wait for you on your own. But why should I agree? You didn’t even give me a deadline. Why should I wait for you?”
Six whole months.
Apart from that night in Helsinki, the rest was endless waiting.
It was like a long sentence without a deadline from the judge, and he could only mark the days on the wall with small stones to count.
He didn’t know when he would be released because the key was in Li Tingyan’s hand.
He had no choice but to keep waiting.
And now, this person finally appeared.
In perfect shape, looking much better than the rumors suggested, dressed in fine clothes, looking refined and elegant, with no trace of dishevelment.
What was this?
How could Li Tingyan be so calm and collected, as if he knew Lin Chi couldn’t escape?
“Bastard.”
Lin Chi cursed again, but in the next second, he unbuckled his seatbelt.
In the pouring rain, in the summer of a foreign land, in the humid and muddy air.
He pounced on Li Tingyan and kissed him without hesitation.
This was the real reunion celebration.
A glass of wine.
A few grandiose words.
How could they express his suffering all this time?
Four months later, he finally kissed this person again.
Li Tingyan was stunned for a moment, but quickly took control, holding Lin Chi tightly.
This kiss was hot, frantic, mixed with the taste of blood, almost setting the rainy night on fire.
In the intervals of the kiss, Li Tingyan tightly gripped Lin Chi’s shoulders.
They were like two tangled vines, with Lin Chi’s shirt buttons falling to the ground.
Entwined passionately.
The air inside the car felt like fuel, and the rain outside couldn’t extinguish the flames of the night.
“I love you, Lin Chi.”
In the intervals of the kiss, Li Tingyan murmured.
“I love you.”
“I’m sorry I came too late.”
This “I love you” came far too late.
Long before he met Lin Chi.
Long before they met in the bar, when he saw Lin Chi playing guitar on stage.
He should have said these words then.
But he was so late, crossing one six-month period after another, from China to Finland, then to Thailand, before finally expressing his feelings.
In love, he was the worst soldier.
Lin Chi was stunned, his fingers tightening unconsciously, almost digging into Li Tingyan’s shoulders.
Even though he understood Li Tingyan’s feelings.
But truly hearing these words, he still felt a daze, like a bell ringing in the wilderness, buzzing, clearing his mind, making it impossible to think.
He clutched Li Tingyan’s clothes, and for a moment, he also wanted to respond to Li Tingyan.
But with red eyes, he just fiercely bit Li Tingyan’s lips again.
He grabbed Li Tingyan’s hair, taking the upper hand, forcing Li Tingyan to endure his kiss.
I love you too.
He looked at Li Tingyan, softly responding in his heart.
But he wouldn’t let Li Tingyan hear it easily.
That’s just the way he was, always repaying grudges.
Li Tingyan had made him wait for half a year, anxious and uncertain, so he would make Li Tingyan submit to him, be his prisoner.
Author’s Note:
Alright, now it’s all about the little couple’s flirting and tug-of-war.
They actually love each other to death.
When Li Tingyan finally gets him into his nest, he can say “He can’t fly away” anymore.
Looking back at this story, I think it’s sweet.