Blazing fire is hard to extinguish chapter 46
He Escapes
Lin Chi and Li Tingyan left the study one after another. After having dinner, he went back to his room.
Throughout, his expression remained calm. Usually, he was a person with vivid expressions, whether laughing, angry, or sad, but this time, Li Tingyan could not read anything from his face.
He even played a game of “Match-3” at the dinner table, keeping the volume low, but the game kept bouncing with “unbelievable” sounds.
After dinner, when Lin Chi was heading back to his room, Li Tingyan called out to him.
“Hm?”
Lin Chi turned around.
Li Tingyan actually didn’t know why he called him.
Was there something left unsaid?
No, he had already said everything that needed to be said in the study.
“It’s nothing.”
He said.
Lin Chi found it inexplicable but saw that Li Tingyan had no intention of speaking further, so he went straight back to his room.
Li Tingyan waited until Lin Chi’s figure disappeared before returning to the study.
He opened the study window. The rain outside had stopped, and the cold air rushed in, almost counteracting the heat inside the room.
He stood by the window, dressed lightly, and lit a cigarette with a click.
On the seventh day of the new year, Lin Chi packed his luggage. He had to go abroad for work, battling at fashion week, with countless flashes and gazes awaiting him.
And Huo Yuning would accompany him.
On the day he was to go to the airport, Li Tingyan was attending a summit in another city, almost halfway across China.
Lin Chi even saw a news report with a photo of Li Tingyan in a suit, standing out amidst a crowd of plain middle-aged men, as graceful as a pine and bamboo, clear and refreshing like a spring, which was very pleasing to the eye.
Lin Chi admired the photo for a while and saved it to his album.
He checked the time; it was already one o’clock, and soon, Huo Yuning would come to pick him up.
He closed his suitcase and did a final check of his belongings.
Everything he needed was packed.
The room still carried his strong scent.
But the wardrobe was empty, though the jewelry box still had several items left, including the beautiful, snake-scale-like sparkling bracelet that Li Tingyan had given him.
Lin Chi walked out with his suitcase, refusing the help of the staff who offered to carry it for him.
“It’s not heavy, no need to help me.”
He smiled politely and held on to his suitcase, leaving the staff with no choice but to escort him to the door.
Sure enough, Huo Yuning’s car was already parked at the entrance.
Miss Huo was dressed stylishly in a well-tailored black trench coat and a pair of sunglasses. When she saw Lin Chi approaching, her sunglasses slid down slightly, revealing a pair of sharp eyes, and she curled her lips into a smile.
Lin Chi walked over and pushed her sunglasses back up. “Others look so elegant in sunglasses, why do you look like a bandit?”
Huo Yuning sneered, “That’s because, as your manager, I always have to be ready to fight the world for you.”
Lin Chi was speechless, “Did I commit some heavenly sin that the whole world is against me?”
“Hard to say.”
Huo Yuning went around to the driver’s seat.
Lin Chi threw his suitcase into the trunk and walked over to the passenger seat.
Just as he was about to open the door, he hesitated and looked back at the staff at the entrance.
He glanced at the butler and then at Yan Li, who often chatted with him, and smiled slightly. He said softly, “Thank you for taking care of me these past days. I’ll send you some souvenirs from abroad.”
Hearing this, both Yan Li and the butler had a subtle change in their expressions, sensing something.
However, having worked for the Li family for so long, they knew better than to speak about things beyond their duties.
So, despite their complex expressions, they bowed slightly and said, “Thank you, we wish you a safe journey.”
Lin Chi said no more and got into Huo Yuning’s car. She stepped on the gas and soon drove out of the Li family’s garden.
As they drove away, Lin Chi couldn’t help but look back once more.
He had lived there for nearly a month. Though it wasn’t a long time, he felt as if a lifetime had passed.
Noticing his actions, Huo Yuning asked softly, “What’s wrong? Are you reluctant to leave?”
Before she came, Lin Chi had messaged her, saying he was moving out of Li Tingyan’s house.
Lin Chi had already turned his gaze forward.
The weather was exceptionally good that day, and even the winter sun was dazzling.
He felt around in the glove compartment and took out a pair of sunglasses, putting them on.
“A bit.”
He said.
Huo Yuning didn’t ask further. When Lin Chi sent her that message, she had a vague sense that something had gone wrong between Li Tingyan and Lin Chi.
But she couldn’t figure out what exactly.
Nor did she want to pry into Lin Chi’s privacy.
“Moving out is good. At least it’ll be easier for me to find you.”
She said softly, then changed the subject. Noticing the strange earrings on Lin Chi’s ears, she remarked, “Those earrings are pretty nice.”
They were asymmetrical emerald earrings.
The green looked like a condensed summer, shimmering as if water would flow out of the gemstones.
One of them dangled with a small chain, swaying on Lin Chi’s ear, matching his temperament perfectly.
Lin Chi raised his hand to touch them and said casually, “Really? Li Tingyan gave them to me.”
It was the only piece of jewelry from Li Tingyan that he took with him.
Because it was his birthday gift.
Huo Yuning nearly bit her tongue.
She thought gloomily, fine, the more I say, the more mistakes I make, better to keep quiet.
For the rest of the ride, she remained silent like a tightly closed clam.
When they arrived at the airport, they still had some time before the flight, so they sat in the VIP lounge to rest.
Lin Chi sat on a high-backed single sofa, seemingly bored, playing with his phone.
There was more than an hour left before his flight, and he still hadn’t given Li Tingyan a reply.
He hadn’t told Li Tingyan what he had decided about their relationship.
And once he boarded the plane to another land, the fragile thread connecting him to Li Tingyan would snap.
Lin Chi glanced up and saw Huo Yuning standing by the window on a call, probably work-related, her brow furrowed in frustration.
After hesitating for a few minutes, he found Li Tingyan’s name and dialed.
When the dial tone sounded, for a second, Lin Chi wasn’t sure if he wanted the call to be answered.
Li Tingyan might be in a meeting.
Might be attending a brief lunch.
He had countless reasons to miss this call.
But just a few rings later, the call was answered.
“Hello?”
Li Tingyan’s voice came from a distance, slightly hoarse, calling his name, “Lin Chi.”
Lin Chi vaguely remembered that Li Tingyan had messaged him last night, saying he had caught a cold while out of town.
This made Lin Chi’s throat ache in sympathy, rendering him speechless.
He remained silent for a long time.
Li Tingyan called again, “Lin Chi, what’s wrong?”
The voice was so gentle it could break one’s heart.
Lin Chi took a deep breath, gripping his phone, his fingers tense and bloodless.
He spoke softly, “I’m at the airport now, about to board. This time, I’ll be gone for a long time.”
Li Tingyan knew Lin Chi was going on a business trip.
To attend Fashion Week.
It was a significant milestone in his career.
Though he had been there as a model before, this time, all eyes were on him.
THE ONE’s chief designer had reserved the finale for him, and the world would witness Lin Chi’s brilliance.
Li Tingyan was genuinely happy for Lin Chi.
He keenly picked up on something in that sentence, “How long is ‘a long time’? A month, or two months?”
He subconsciously set a timeframe for Lin Chi.
But Lin Chi shook his head, “I don’t know…”
He had a hard time saying it, “Maybe next year, maybe the year after, maybe…”
He exhaled softly. He didn’t finish his sentence, but he thought Li Tingyan understood what he meant.
Li Tingyan also tightened his grip on the phone.
Someone as smart as him could certainly hear the implied message in Lin Chi’s words.
But he was silent for a few seconds and insisted on asking, “What do you mean by this, Lin Chi?”
“It means, it’s over between us, Li Tingyan.”
Lin Chi said in a low voice, “This is the conclusion I’ve come to.”
As he spoke those words, he felt a hollow in his chest, a cold wind sweeping through, leaving him desolate inside.
Li Tingyan’s breathing came from the other end of the phone.
A long silence.
Huo Yuning was still arguing in a low voice with someone about work issues.
The VIP lounge was nearly empty, almost desolate.
“Why?”
Li Tingyan’s voice was like a breeze from the wilderness, light but like a small hammer tapping on the eardrum.
Li Tingyan only asked this.
But Lin Chi could barely hold it together. He had been prepared, calmly packing his things after leaving the Li household, chatting with Huo Yuning.
But hearing Li Tingyan’s voice, he still felt defeated.
Why?
He looked out the window, his chest heaving continuously. He also wanted to ask why himself.
Why couldn’t he compromise a little? There were countless imperfect loves in the world.
Li Tingyan was already a relatively flawless, precious diamond among them.
Bright enough, large enough, dazzling like the Heart of the Ocean when worn on a finger.
And if he just turned a blind eye, Li Tingyan would belong to him.
But he couldn’t do it.
“Did I make you angry?”
Li Tingyan asked on the phone, his sensitivity to certain things remarkable.
Lin Chi shook his head.
“No.”
He bowed his head, took a deep breath, and looked at his hand.
There used to be a bracelet on that hand, a gift from Li Tingyan, now left in the bedroom that once belonged to him.
“I’m not angry because I can understand everything you say.”
Lin Chi said in a low voice, “Someone like you, with your background and family, is not someone I should casually get involved with. The problems you face are different from those of a small model struggling in the fashion world like me.”
“Actually, I’ve seen the documents on your desk, those girls,” Lin Chi sighed as he said this, then couldn’t help but laugh lightly, “You shouldn’t have let me into your study so freely, you gave me too much access.”
“Those are documents my grandfather sent,” Li Tingyan explained in a low voice, “But I wasn’t planning to agree, nor did I intend to meet them.”
“I know.”
Lin Chi repeated, “I know, that’s just who you are. If you decided to date or marry someone, you wouldn’t waste my time.”
He had that kind of trust in Li Tingyan.
However, after saying that, the two fell into a long silence again.
After a while, Li Tingyan softly asked, “Then why are you leaving?”
He guessed, “Is it because of Xu Mu? But I said I had already let him go…”
Lin Chi didn’t answer immediately this time.
Xu Mu.
He had only met the person that name represented once.
At Xu Mu’s wedding.
In fact, that day, looking at that couple gazing into each other’s eyes, he felt a momentary daze. He thought he would never have a wedding in his life.
But he also wondered what it felt like to be eager to spend the rest of one’s life with someone, like Xu Mu and Zhao Anzhen.
And now he knew.
“Partly,” Lin Chi sighed softly and admitted, “But more because I can’t accept being compared to anyone.”
He said, “Li Tingyan, before you, I had never fallen in love with anyone. Really, no one had ever made my heart flutter like you did. I thought my life would always be carefree, doing the work I love, meeting all kinds of beautiful people, and ending my life casually on some bed. I would welcome that ending happily.”
“But you changed me.”
“I am someone who fears intimacy, who doesn’t believe in love. The idea of handing over my soul, my emotions, to someone else is too terrifying. I don’t want to experience it.”
“But if it’s you, I seem willing to be brave for once.”
These words were even more honest than his confession on New Year’s Eve.
Li Tingyan was stunned.
He knew Lin Chi loved him, but he didn’t know Lin Chi loved him this much.
Lin Chi continued, “So… I can’t accept that your love for me is flawed. I also don’t accept trying with anyone else. I don’t want an uncertain love.”
When he said this, Lin Chi seemed to hear a small crack in his heart.
But he continued, “I know it’s difficult. There are so many unbearable, absurd loves in the world. There’s no reason why my love should be perfect.”
“But I still want it.”
But I still want it.
When he said this, he sounded like a child stubbornly asking for a toy, but his voice carried a faint trace of pain.
And his nails were almost piercing his palm.
Li Tingyan caught it.
He was on the other end of the phone, the phone pressed so tightly to his ear that it felt burning hot, his heart seemed to contract and burn, flames rising from his chest to his throat, making it dry.
His assistant had actually already come by once.
He still had an important appointment coming up, and he was never late.
Yet here he was, standing still, holding his phone, not moving a step.
“I can’t give you perfect love, can I?” he asked Lin Chi softly.
And Lin Chi asked him back, “Do you think you can?”
The answer was, of course, no. At least not now.
Li Tingyan knew this too.
Lin Chi took a deep breath again; he really wanted a cigarette now.
But this wasn’t a smoking area, so he could only endure the dryness in his throat.
He told Li Tingyan, “Actually, we really aren’t suitable for each other. You’re too rational, and I’m too romantic. Maybe you won’t believe it, but I truly understand you.”
“You have your dilemmas, family pressures, your sense of responsibility, and the expectations of your grandfather who raised you. All these things weigh you down. Compared to being with me, marrying a young lady from a compatible family fits your life plan better. So when you look at me, you can’t be sure if I’m more important than all of these combined.”
“You’re such a rational person. You secretly loved Xu Mu for six years without confessing, probably considering these things too. If you end up with me now, wouldn’t all those years of restraint and self-discipline seem like a joke?”
“Am I right?”
Right or not?
These three words weighed a thousand pounds, and Li Tingyan found himself unable to speak.
Because it was true.
Xu Mu was no longer the issue standing between them.
It was that he couldn’t believe he would become a completely irrational person, abandoning all his principles for Lin Chi.
In their circle, it was not uncommon for someone to abandon their family for a lover, but often, when the passion fades, only a mess is left behind.
He and Lin Chi knew each other too briefly, too hastily, making it impossible for him to determine what kind of relationship they had.
He didn’t want to deceive Lin Chi.
And he didn’t want to make Lin Chi sad, so other than a trial relationship, he couldn’t find a solution.
Li Tingyan thought, Lin Chi was really too smart.
He wasn’t sure if his feelings for Lin Chi were true love until death.
But Lin Chi, he must truly, truly, deeply love him.
That’s why he could see through him so clearly.
At this moment, Li Tingyan realized clearly that he couldn’t hold onto Lin Chi anymore.
Just a moment ago, he even thought about giving up his upcoming schedule, rushing to the airport now, landing in the same area as Lin Chi, and bringing him back.
But now he knew.
It wasn’t necessary.
Lin Chi wouldn’t look back anymore.
Lin Chi had thought everything through, but he was completely empty-handed.
His only bargaining chip was relying on Lin Chi’s love for him.
But now Lin Chi had taken that card back.
Li Tingyan couldn’t describe his feelings at this moment. He was standing thousands of miles away from Lin Chi, but if he wanted to, Lin Chi could never escape his grasp for the rest of his life.
But he remembered that New Year’s Eve, in the dazzling fireworks, the look in Lin Chi’s eyes, as bright as the stars in the night sky.
He apologized softly, “I’m sorry.”
As for what he was apologizing for, he couldn’t say.
Maybe he was sorry for not becoming the perfect lover in Lin Chi’s heart.
Lin Chi now felt a lump in his throat.
Not being able to love him a hundred percent wasn’t Li Tingyan’s fault.
So what was there to apologize for?
At the moment of parting, Li Tingyan was still gentle to him, making him unforgettable.
It was this that made him feel annoyed.
Lin Chi said softly, “You don’t need to apologize. The past few months with you have been the happiest time of my life.”
“If one day you suddenly find yourself madly in love with me, you can come find me.”
“But before that, I think we shouldn’t see each other.”
After saying this, he smiled lightly, “But you’d better hurry, because I won’t wait for you forever.”
Author’s Note:
Forgive me for using this title.
When I was writing the outline, I really wanted to use “He escapes, he chases, he has nowhere to fly.”
(That’s right, I’ll use the other two later)
Actually, Li Tingyan truly broke his principles to love Lin Chi, because fundamentally, he hates losing control, hates irrationality, so it’s very hard for him to believe he’s become such a person.
Lin Chi gave him many new uncertainties.
And Lin Chi, on the other hand, doesn’t believe in love, even avoids it, rejects it, so he needs a lot of love, a lot of security, without a trace of doubt.
These two just had to meet.
They just had to fall in love.
But it’s okay, they’ll be the most loving couple in the world in the end.
After overcoming this, everything will be sweet from now on (hopefully).