Blazing fire is hard to extinguish chapter 45

Temptation

Xu Mu was quite surprised by Li Tingyan’s visit.

It had rained that day, and when Li Tingyan entered, water from the eaves dripped onto his face, wetting his collar and leaving a few water stains on his face.

“It’s raining heavily outside? Your collar is all wet. Let me get you a towel.”

Xu Mu found a clean towel for Li Tingyan.

He had recently bought a small villa with Zhao Anzhen. They lived alone and didn’t have a live-in maid, only a part-time worker.

He was quite familiar with Li Tingyan, so there were no false pleasantries.

As he called out Zhao Anzhen’s name upstairs, he turned back to Li Tingyan and asked, “Why did you suddenly come over today?”

“Just passing by.”

Li Tingyan handed Xu Mu a gift. “Anzhen is pregnant, so I brought some supplements and baby items. I’m not sure if they’re what she wants. Since she likes VIVIAN skincare products, I also brought some unreleased new products that are safe for pregnant women.”

VIVIAN was a brand developed by Li Tingyan’s mother.

Xu Mu laughed. “You’re really something; Anzhen mentioned it only once, and you remembered it.”

He muttered, “If you’re so attentive to Anzhen, I’m afraid she might leave me for you.”

Just then, Zhao Anzhen came downstairs.

As soon as Xu Mu saw her, he immediately went to help her down.

Since his youth, he had been a kind and gentle person. Even after marriage, he remained a considerate and tender husband.

When Zhao Anzhen appeared, his gaze was immediately drawn to her.

Zhao Anzhen felt a bit embarrassed, thinking Xu Mu was overreacting.

She smiled at Li Tingyan, saying, “Sorry for the fuss. This guy has been overly sensitive since I got pregnant, even more nervous than I am. Please sit down; I’ll have Xu Mu make you some tea.”

Xu Mu seated Zhao Anzhen and then went to the kitchen.

Knowing Li Tingyan didn’t like sweets, Xu Mu’s fruit platter had only nuts, rose ham crisps, and such.

Zhao Anzhen’s side had a variety of treats: sunflower seeds, fruit nuts, cheesecake, and dried meat.

Zhao Anzhen shared her pregnancy experience with Li Tingyan. “The first three months were a bit of nausea and vomiting, but it’s much better now. I’m not uncomfortable at all, and I’m enjoying everything I eat. My weight is increasing rapidly.”

Li Tingyan smiled. “Gaining weight during pregnancy is normal, but you still look beautiful.”

He meant it sincerely.

Though he had a crush on Xu Mu, it didn’t affect his genuine admiration for Zhao Anzhen.

Zhao Anzhen smiled at his words, shaking her head. “You really know how to flatter people.”

She touched her belly and shared, “We went to the U.S. last month to visit my brother and also did a check-up there. The doctor said it’s going to be a girl.”

She looked very pleased because both she and Xu Mu wanted daughters.

Xu Mu was also happy, saying, “The night before the check-up, I even dreamed it was a girl. The next day, it turned out to be true, and I was so happy I almost cried.”

Li Tingyan also showed a faint smile.

He knew Xu Mu liked having a daughter. Back in college, this guy had confidently declared that he would definitely have a daughter in the future.

At that time, Li Tingyan had joked on the surface, saying not to cry if the wish didn’t come true, but in his heart, he had felt a moment of palpitation.

Because it meant a deeper hopelessness between him and Xu Mu.

But now, looking at Xu Mu, this person still looked exactly the same as he remembered.

A gentle and harmless face, with very fair skin, but with an ivory-like smooth luster, black and dense hair, and especially cute when he smiled.

He had fallen for Xu Mu because, after the car accident, despite his irritability and rage,  Xu Mu still stayed by his side as a friend.

That was the darkest and most difficult time of his life. His first twenty years had been so arrogant and self-assured that the sudden risk of blindness was almost unbearable.

At the same time, his biological father was eager to have his illegitimate child replace him.

His mother was in a new family, and could offer limited affection.

Only Xu Mu.

Only Xu Mu, regardless of the storms, accompanied him unconditionally. Taking advantage of their close proximity, Xu Mu would always come to visit him, never getting angry even when scolded, and the next day still sitting by his bed, sharing a music box he had found.

He thought he would always remember the bird songs from that 20th-century music box and the help Xu Mu had given him.

As a friend, as a long-time classmate, if Xu Mu ever encountered any difficulties in this life, he would never stand by idly.

But now, looking at Xu Mu, he finally felt no more heartache as he did at twenty.

He listened to Zhao Anzhen enthusiastically sharing parenting tips and watched Xu Mu buying pink clothes for his daughter. He finally didn’t feel like he was drowning and couldn’t breathe.

“Congratulations.”

He said softly.

He looked at Xu Mu, as if seeing him in a groom’s suit again. Though it had nothing to do with him, he did feel that Xu Mu looked exceptionally radiant that day.

He sincerely congratulated Xu Mu on entering marriage and holding hands with the person he loved for a lifetime.

…..

Li Tingyan didn’t stay at Xu Mu’s house for long. By late afternoon, he got up to say goodbye.

“Are you not staying for dinner?”

Xu Mu asked in surprise.

“I’ve been cooking recently,” he stood up and smiled at Li Tingyan, “though it’s not very luxurious, my cooking isn’t bad.”

Zhao Anzhen pinched him from behind, “It’s not like you’re making the meals.”

Xu Mu laughed and raised his hands in surrender.

Li Tingyan still shook his head.

“No, I have a dinner appointment today.” As he spoke, he was already by the door, picking up his coat from the rack.

He was wearing a beautiful deep gray coat with a drapey texture and satin-like sheen, which was different from his usual style. It was a gift from Lin Chi.

He put on the coat, stood at the door, showing with his actions that he wouldn’t stay.

Xu Mu knew his temperament and didn’t try to persuade him further, instead saying, “Alright, alright, then come again next time, and bring Lin Chi with you. We can have a gathering of four…”

Li Tingyan had already pushed open the door and paused when he heard this.

He walked outside, still holding the doorknob.

The entrance to Xu Mu’s house was a step higher than the door, and the light from behind him cast a halo-like glow.

A golden boy and a jade girl, a perfect pair.

“I’ll ask him,” Li Tingyan said with a smile, “you all go back, don’t see me off.”

With that, he completely stepped out and closed the door.

….

When Li Tingyan left Xu Mu’s house, it was still raining outside.

He returned home, but Lin Chi hadn’t come back yet.

That afternoon, Lin Chi had also gone out for tea, saying he would be back only for dinner.

The rain continued outside, drizzling and muddy. A moment ago, Li Tingyan had sent a text to Lin Chi, asking if he wanted him to pick him up.

“No need, my friend will give me a ride back,” Lin Chi replied.

So Li Tingyan didn’t ask further.

Now he sat by the window in the study, looking at the weather outside. On the desk beside him were photos and introductions of wealthy family daughters sent by his grandfather.

When he received them, he couldn’t help but show a hint of sarcasm.

The Li family really had a lot of influence.

So many beautiful and outstanding girls, all presented to him as if for his selection.

But it seemed no one asked if these girls were willing.

He wasn’t a priceless antique that everyone wanted.

But he knew clearly.

Even if he wasn’t a rare antique, he was still an excellent creation cultivated with countless resources and effort in a grand residence.

After graduating and gradually stepping into the core of the Li family’s business, taking over Changhe Group’s operations, he had also accepted that everything he could use was to nourish the prosperity of the Li family.

But…

Li Tingyan closed his eyes, leaning back in his chair. Listening to the wind and rain outside, his mind was as troubled as the weather outside.

He remembered that New Year’s night, the glow of the sparklers, and Lin Chi’s unbelievably bright eyes, smiling and looking up at him.

He also remembered the scrutinizing gaze of Li Zhengtao in the old house study.

And earlier, his college days, playing football on the green field, Xu Mu in a blue and white jersey, proudly lifting his chin at him.

At that moment, he had impulsively thought of confessing to Xu Mu, but after careful consideration, he calmly gave up.

These countless details from the past blended together.

In the end, the voice that appeared in his ear was another one.

That voice sounded like Chen Yilin’s gloating, but it also seemed like his own.

Unclear and indistinguishable.

The voice said, “If you really make a choice, he will really leave you.”

…

With a click.

The door to the study was pushed open.

Li Tingyan suddenly opened his eyes. He turned around and saw Lin Chi standing in the doorway.

Lin Chi was wearing a loose yellow sweater, which stood out brightly in the dim room.

He hesitated for a moment, then walked in and turned on the light.

“Why didn’t you turn on the light?” Lin Chi asked as he walked over.

His gaze first landed on Li Tingyan’s face but then swept past the desk.

Under a few books, a stack of documents was pressed down, with a corner of a photo faintly visible.

But he quickly looked away.

“I forgot for a moment,” Li Tingyan said.

Lin Chi nodded, but he sat down on the sofa next to Li Tingyan and casually asked, “Where did you go this afternoon?”

He already knew.

Having lived here for so long, the staff at Li Tingyan’s home treated him like another master. Li Tingyan’s visit to Xu Mu was not a secret, so no one would hide it from him.

Li Tingyan did not lie, “I went to see Xu Mu.”

Lin Chi’s hand, which was arranging the cushions, paused.

He sat stiffly for a moment before slowly turning around to look at Li Tingyan.

No one spoke, and the room was so quiet that even a pin drop could be heard.

Lin Chi sighed softly, then smiled and asked Li Tingyan, “So, have you got an answer to the question I asked you a few days ago?”

….

Once these words were spoken, it felt like the warmth and peace of the past few days had been torn apart.

That confession had truly happened.

They could no longer gloss over their relationship with just “platonic” or casual.

Li Tingyan’s eyes subtly glanced at the desk.

In fact, he already had the answer in his heart.

Lin Chi and he were indeed not compatible.

Even without Xu Mu, he and Lin Chi were not a good match.

Lin Chi’s free-spirited nature was harder to capture than a seabird.

In terms of gender, family background, and any other aspect, he could never meet the requirements of the Li family or become another master of the Li family.

When they met, they had clearly agreed not to talk about love. He had only used Lin Chi to escape a broken heart, and Lin Chi had been indifferent, only seeking his physical presence.

How had they developed from that to where they were now?

To the point where the thought of Lin Chi leaving made a pain rise from deep within his body.

“I don’t know how to define my feelings for you,” Li Tingyan said softly as he looked at Lin Chi, “I didn’t want to deceive you. From the moment we met, I never expected to develop any feelings for you. I thought we were just using each other.”

“I still remember you accompanying me to Xu Mu’s wedding. That day, I was grateful for your presence. But this afternoon, when I went to see Xu Mu, I realized I no longer felt pain when I saw him. I could even calmly bless him and Zhao Anzhen as they are about to have a daughter.”

“I think I’ve let go of him.” 

“But I liked him for six years. It was almost like a habit. So asking me to completely forget this experience without any lingering attachment, I think I need a bit more time.”

Lin Chi was taken aback but then lowered his eyes with understanding, showing no sign of disappointment.

He could fully understand.

If he had watched someone for six years, he would also be uncertain about how to confirm he no longer cared about them.

Especially since he had witnessed Li Tingyan’s struggle and confusion at that wedding.

“So you…”

Lin Chi was somewhat disheartened and was about to speak when he heard Li Tingyan speak first.

“But I also suspect that I have clearly fallen in love with you.”

Li Tingyan’s voice was faint, but in the quiet and empty room, it sounded like thunder.

Lin Chi was stunned, looking at Li Tingyan in disbelief, as if he couldn’t understand what the person was saying.

Li Tingyan said, “I always thought I should be a slow-to-warm-up person. We’ve only known each other for just over half a year. I shouldn’t have developed any attachment to anyone. I never thought of confessing to Xu Mu. I assumed I would marry someone I don’t love for the sake of family and career, and I had no expectations for love or marriage.”

“But thinking about you leaving me, not living in this villa, and me waiting downstairs at your company without being able to reach you, I…”

Li Tingyan paused, lowering his eyes, unsure of how to describe his feelings. It seemed that no word was quite fitting.

In the end, he just said softly, “I would be very disappointed.”

After he said this, the room was even quieter than before.

The sound of wind and rain beat against the window. Winter rain was not as torrential as summer rain, but it was still loud and annoying.

Lin Chi sat on the sofa, holding a cushion. His yellow sweater and the dark blue cushion contrasted with his bright face.

His eyes were more complicated than ever, as if every word he wanted to say was stuck, catching him off guard.

Li Tingyan looked at him under the light, as if seeing him shining on the stage that day they first met.

After hesitating for a long time, he finally spoke the words he had been holding back.

He said, “Lin Chi, I also want to understand how much I care about you. If you don’t mind, maybe we could give it a try.”

….

“Give it a try.”

These four words felt like a stone finally falling to the ground.

Lin Chi’s nails dug into the palm of his hand for a moment before quickly loosening.

He remained silent for a long time, his fingers playing with the tassels on the cushion, leaving delicate marks on his snow-white fingertips, and even causing some pain.

After a while, he looked at Li Tingyan, like a student who hadn’t understood the lesson, and asked earnestly, “What does it mean to ‘give it a try’?”

“Does it mean that you can’t judge how deep your feelings for me are, so you want to try dating me until you figure it out?”

Facing Lin Chi’s glaring gaze, Li Tingyan found it difficult to give a definitive answer.

But that was indeed what he meant.

Lin Chi was not the suitable person for him.

But he wanted him anyway.

So he lost his decisiveness, calm, and balance of pros and cons. His rationality and emotions were in constant struggle.

He desperately wanted to keep Lin Chi, and maybe…

Maybe, one day, he would truly discover that Lin Chi surpassed everything he already had, and he would be willing to compete with anyone for Lin Chi.

“Yes.”

In the end, Li Tingyan said.

Lin Chi got the confirmation he needed.

For a moment, he wanted to ask Li Tingyan what they should do if, in the end, he realized that he wasn’t that important.

But he knew well that there was no need to ask.

Once asked, it would put him at a disadvantage.

He looked at Li Tingyan and, for some reason, suddenly smiled faintly.

The room was brightly lit, almost glaringly so.

Li Tingyan sat in a large black chair, maintaining a certain distance from him.

This person was still as attractive as when they first met—handsome face, defined features, eyes that seemed to hold a thousand words but were nonchalant, a cold and distant demeanor. Just sitting there was like a fire that attracted moths, an unparalleled temptation.

But Lin Chi wondered, given another chance, it was hard to say if he would still resolutely push open the door to the bar.

Because loving someone, indeed, was just as painful as he thought.

Actually, Li Tingyan had been quite merciful; he even admitted his feelings.

“Give it a try.”

This was the best hand an admirer could hope for.

The person being admired did not reject him outright but was willing to extend the tempting olive branch and invite him to fall.

Lin Chi thought that if he were a smart person, he should immediately accept.

Having the chance to try was better than having none.

But he looked at Li Tingyan and softly said, “Let me think about it.”

He said the same thing as Li Tingyan had a few days ago.

Author’s note:

Yesterday, I took some time to read the comments from you all, which made me anxious and want to spoil (not really).

How should I put it? Actually, I think Li Tingyan’s feelings are quite clear, but as an extremely rational person who weighs pros and cons,

He himself can’t believe he loves Lin Chi so much.

Six years of secret admiration.

His previous principles.

Have crumbled in the face of a few months spent with Lin Chi.

So he suggested “giving it a try.”

And what Lin Chi thinks… let’s see in the next chapter (a line that sounds so annoying).