Let Me Meet You chapter 53
Don’t Think About It
“The rules for the ‘Pick Your Moon’ competition that year required each company to send a five to seven-member group. Our company had always signed actors, never idols. At that time, Ms Zhang Shan wanted to adjust the business and planned to recruit five trainees to form a group for the competition, but hadn’t gathered enough people. I was originally filming a web drama, but halfway through, the investors pulled out, and the funding disappeared. The film crew disbanded, so they pulled me in to fill the numbers.”
Sheng Min let go of Li Xuan and poured himself a glass of water. Li Xuan stood with his back to him, motionless.
“I started acting when I was five. I never learned to sing or dance. When the company told me I had to join the competition, there were only nine days before the auditions. There wasn’t enough time for professional training, just enough for me to barely learn the two dances for the audition.”
Unlike now, that year’s rules focused heavily on team work and chemistry. The first three performances required the group to stay in its original formation, and once eliminated, everyone from the company would be kicked out together. Except for Sheng Min, the other four members of the company had been recruited from other companies’ trainees and had some singing and dancing experience. Sheng Min knew nothing and initially couldn’t keep up. His teammates felt that he was slowing down their progress and feared that his performance would drag the whole group down, leading to their elimination. Eventually, there was some resentment.
Back then, Sheng Min had a pretty face but no singing or dancing skills. His personality was too mild; he didn’t steal the spotlight, and he had no background. The quality of the dramas he had filmed before wasn’t great, so he hadn’t accumulated many fans. In the entertainment industry, people usually seek connections, and even if he asked seniors for advice, it was hard to get extra guidance.
Sheng Min didn’t want to drag down his teammates, but he hadn’t been paid for the last two shows, and his funds were running low. But the company would pay for his participation in ‘Pick Your Moon,’ so he wanted to stay longer. After training, when everyone else was asleep, he would go to the dance studio to practice more. It was during this time that he met Qin Zhengchen.
“You must have heard, before he joined the show, he was a dance instructor at an agency. He helped me a lot back then…” Sheng Min took a sip of water. “I’m very grateful to him.”
It was because of this gratitude that even when the competition entered the later stages, and as more contestants were eliminated, Sheng Min started getting more screen time. With one popular performance and the right styling, more people began noticing his face, helping him successfully rise to the top. He always allowed Qin Zhengchen to ride on his coattails, even though he wasn’t thrilled about it, he tacitly accepted Qin Zhengchen’s attempts to hype up their supposed romance. This continued even after his debut.
Even though their popularity was vastly different, if there was real intention to hype up a relationship, any teammate would have been a better match than Qin Zhengchen.
As a member of a boy group, Qin Zhengchen had little advantage other than his dancing skills. But the entertainment industry didn’t value performance on stage much, and after debuting, most people would transition to acting. His only advantage was lost.
He originally had the least fans, and all his teammates were developing better than him. He became anxious, frustrated, and entered a vicious cycle. Sheng Min wanted to help him, but back then, he wasn’t stable enough to share much. The resources he could offer were limited. Qin Zhengchen decided to find his own way, and in the end, he chose the wrong path.
At first, Sheng Min tried to advise him and repeatedly explained the pros and cons. But once Qin Zhengchen tasted success, he wasn’t willing to give up, and in the end, they parted ways on bad terms.
The night Sheng Min got Qin Zhengchen’s call, they hadn’t been in contact for a while, and Sheng Min had already felt like they were on different paths. But hearing him cry so desperately and repeatedly say he knew he had done wrong and should have listened to his advice, with his words filled with suicidal thoughts, Sheng Min decided to go. On the way there, he even thought that if Qin Zhengchen was willing, he could recommend him for a role in his new show that had a major supporting character yet to be cast.
There were doubts, so he called Yang Xu, but Yang Xu had fallen asleep. He didn’t want to doubt his old friend, and he was worried that if he waited too long, Qin Zhengchen might do something irreversible. To protect his reputation, it would be inappropriate to notify others hastily, so he had no choice but to go alone.
“You should know what happened next.” Sheng Min put down the glass, walked up to Li Xuan, and gently pried open his palm, which had unconsciously formed a fist. “That’s how it went.”
Li Xuan looked at Sheng Min, wanting to ask him: He was grateful to Qin Zhengchen for helping him when he needed it most, but if it weren’t for later using him for publicity, would Qin Zhengchen have truly had a chance to debut?
On the night of their debut, more than half of Qin Zhengchen’s votes likely came from fans of their supposed “couple pairing.” Sheng Min’s solo fans far outnumbered the “couple fans,” and they often clashed bitterly, frustrated by the idea that Sheng Min was being taken advantage of.
Did Qin Zhengchen initially teach him purely out of kindness? Or was it because he knew his own appearance lacked competitiveness in a boy group and decided to gamble on Sheng Min’s popularity? Perhaps Qin Zhengchen had extended his goodwill to more than one person—if it didn’t work out, he had nothing to lose. But if even one succeeded, he might secure his debut.
However, none of these questions really mattered. Li Xuan smiled bitterly to himself. Sheng Min understood everything, he was fully aware, yet he chose not to assume the worst about anyone. Or perhaps he thought these things didn’t matter—others were others, and he was himself.
Perhaps it wasn’t just Yang Xu and Zhang Zhihua, even Qin Zhengchen himself probably misunderstood that Sheng Min truly had feelings for him. After all, the idea of repaying kindness so grandly without romantic feelings sounded laughable. Without love, who would give up so many benefits simply out of initial gratitude?
A deep sense of helplessness welled up inside Li Xuan. He wanted to tell Sheng Min: You can’t be like this. You can’t be kind to everyone without principles.
But he couldn’t say it, because Sheng Min was just that kind of person.
He could give Yang Xu a job simply because Yang Xu handed him a glass of water when he had heatstroke, even though he was struggling financially. He tolerated Zhang Zhihua’s lazy work ethic for years simply because Zhang Shan signed him into the company. Even with his mother and brother, he provided for them like a money tree simply because of familial ties.
“Are you done?” Li Xuan didn’t know how to explain his current emotions—anger or frustration—so he responded coldly, “So, what now?”
“This isn’t some interrogation. I’m not blaming you,” Sheng Min said with a slight frown. “I’m just asking, why didn’t you ask me? Why didn’t you discuss it with me?”
“Ask you? Discuss with you? Would you have agreed?” Li Xuan asked, then answered his own question. “No. So why waste time?”
“But did you think about the consequences?”
“Before doing it, I made sure no one would suspect me,” Li Xuan sneered, pausing briefly. “What, are you going to report me? With our situation, it wouldn’t be easy to explain. But if you want to, go ahead.”
“I’m not talking about that,” Sheng Min said, sounding weary.
Li Xuan’s response became harsher, his anger flaring: “Then what do you mean? Just say it!”
“Yes, you can get away with it. You’re ten times smarter than others—what can’t you do?!” Sheng Min seemed to have also been pushed to his limit. The guilt in his eyes grew more evident. “But you know this isn’t the way to solve things, don’t you?”
“And why not? Do you think I’d feel guilty about it? Let me make it clear to you—I won’t! I don’t go out of my way to provoke anyone, but if someone dares mess with me, they shouldn’t expect to get away unscathed! Your way of repaying evil with good doesn’t solve problems, so of course you can’t agree with me. But I don’t need you to!”
“Don’t look at me like that.” Sheng Min stopped speaking, his brow furrowed deeply. Li Xuan wouldn’t back down. He took a few steps forward until he backed Sheng Min into a chair. Leaning down, he braced one hand on the chair back, looked into Sheng Min’s eyes, and after a long time, a smile curved on his lips. “I won’t discuss it with you because it has nothing to do with you. Don’t think I’m doing it for you—no, I’m not. I’m doing it because I want to, and I can.”
“You think it’s over?” Li Xuan leaned closer to Sheng Min’s ear, his voice chillingly indifferent. “Not even close. If you feel heartache,” he tapped Sheng Min’s chest lightly, “there’s more to come.”
Li Xuan straightened, stepping back without looking at Sheng Min’s expression, and turned to leave.
“Li Xuan!” Sheng Min’s voice stopped him as he reached the door.
Li Xuan didn’t want to respond, but with his hand on the doorknob, he couldn’t bring himself to press it down. He turned back.
“What do you want to say?” He thought Sheng Min would ask about what else he had done and had even prepared a sharp retort in his mind.
But after a long moment of eye contact, Sheng Min spoke, asking instead: “Li Xuan, think carefully, does it really have nothing to do with me? What has nothing to do with me? Who has nothing to do with me?” His Adam’s apple moved slightly, and it was difficult for him to speak the rest. “You?”
Time seemed to stand still, yet the shadows of trees outside swayed in the sunlight breaking through the clouds, golden light cascading down.
Tyndall effect, the most basic principle in optics. Li Xuan’s thoughts wandered aimlessly before circling back to Sheng Min’s words. Something seemed to spin a web around him, holding him in place, while something else clawed its way out of his heart. What was it? Could it be something he had been deliberately ignoring? Finally, his gaze returned to Sheng Min’s face, and all other thoughts vanished. All that remained was, Why does he look so sad?
For a moment, Li Xuan regretted his earlier outburst. He wanted to say something, anything, but his throat felt choked, unable to form the words—be they affirmations or denials.
Sheng Min also stared at him, watching as Li Xuan’s expression shifted from cold indifference to confusion. When Li Xuan finally looked at him, there was even a trace of helplessness in his eyes. Sheng Min suddenly regretted speaking. Li Xuan shouldn’t be like this—especially not because of him.
“Forget it.” This thought crushed him like the final straw. Sheng Min’s shoulders slumped. “Don’t think about it anymore.”
3 Comments
milui
OMG
milui
Yo I can’t even articulate my thoughts. That was intense!
Riia
Oh my ghadddd, this some of the few novels where the seme is facing the consequences of his actionsss. altho done for his wife, he is also reprimanded by his wife, this so breathtaking! Maybe because i just read the casual novelss but some wives really just let their partner’s actions go no matter how bad it was 🤧🤧. My thinking has even adapted to this logic and it got me really scared of how evil ive become omggg