Try Again chapter 6
Dirty Clothes Unworn
Opening the door to take the dumplings Ji Minglun handed over, Su Yan stepped aside to let him in. Ji Minglun said he wouldn’t go in, as he had documents to look up that evening.
Su Yan was unaware that Jiang Lin had returned. The delicious smell of the dumplings made him feel hungry, so he thanked Ji Minglun and closed the door to eat. When Ji Minglun returned to his apartment, he saw Jiang Lin hadn’t touched the shrimp dumplings on the table, and even the egg was only half-peeled, staring at him with unspoken words.
As soon as Ji Minglun caught that gaze, he understood what Jiang Lin wanted to ask.
Before they had a fallout, such unspoken understanding was enjoyable. Unfortunately, nowadays, that understanding brought only awkwardness.
Back in the kitchen, the electric pressure cooker displayed that the millet porridge was ready. Ji Minglun opened the lid, scooped out the fragrant, soft porridge, and placed it next to Jiang Lin, saying, “I’ll use the computer for a bit. I’ll call a car when you’re done eating.”
He still spoke in that bland tone, feeling completely different from earlier on the phone. Remembering the scene he had seen through the peephole, Jiang Lin couldn’t help but ask, “Are you really close with the neighbor?”
“Yeah, we get along pretty well,” Ji Minglun replied without a hint of hesitation. “He’s really cute and straightforward; he never hides what he wants to say.”
Jiang Lin hadn’t expected Ji Minglun to so openly admit he was close with someone else and even praise the person for being cute. He struggled to control his emotions, wanting to finish his questions.
“So, do you like him?”
Ji Minglun stood in a position that conveniently blocked the geometric crystal light in the middle of the living room. Perhaps due to the backlight, when he looked down at Jiang Lin, his eyes were particularly cold.
Jiang Lin felt his heart tighten under that gaze, and then he heard Ji Minglun say, “Who I like now has nothing to do with you.”
The sound of a door closing from the master bedroom echoed from nearby. Jiang Lin stared at the reflective marble floor beneath his feet. Even though he was alone in the living room now, he remained lost in thought for a long time.
Before returning to the country, he had considered the possibility of Ji Minglun liking someone else and whether he should give up.
This thought had lingered in his mind for a long time and had tormented him as well, lingering until he had bought the plane ticket home without reaching a decision.
In hindsight, he didn’t quite understand why his feelings for Ji Minglun had changed so quickly. Just a few months had passed, yet he couldn’t control the urge to return, to confirm whether that person’s feelings for him had changed, and whether they could really be in that kind of relationship.
As for when he started having those feelings for Ji Minglun, it went back six months ago.
At that time, he had just moved into a new dormitory and met his current roommate, Lu Zhe.
Lu Zhe was from Hong Kong and had a bright personality, easily getting along with anyone. Even for someone like him, who was not good at socializing, communication was smooth.
Initially, he only regarded Lu Zhe as an ordinary roommate, but he gradually began to sense something was off. For instance, Lu Zhe was often surrounded by flirtatious males, would wear makeup when going to nightclubs, and his online shopping included black lace skirts and knee-high stockings. The moment he truly realized Lu Zhe’s sexual orientation was when he borrowed some study materials; Lu Zhe handed him a USB drive, and when he got home and checked it, he found not only study materials but also a folder containing over ten gigabytes of adult films.
He thought these were just adult films and was amazed at how many Lu Zhe had. But when he clicked on one and saw the content—a passionate scene between two men—he immediately hit the close button.
At that time, he was home alone. He went to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of cold water, but his mood remained unsettled. Instead, the scenes he had just seen kept replaying in his mind, leading him to think of someone.
Someone he hadn’t seen for half a year, a good friend who had been blocked because he liked him and had lost contact.
In the first three months after arriving in Los Angeles, he felt very out of place. First, the teaching methods and lifestyle there were completely different from those back home; even though he had no language barrier, it was still difficult to adapt immediately. Secondly, at that time, he had just fallen out with Ji Minglun. With few friends in daily life, he had to solve all the difficulties he encountered on his own, and the lack of someone to talk to deepened his feelings of isolation and helplessness in a foreign land.
During the toughest times, he forced himself not to seek out that person as he used to depend on Ji Minglun. He couldn’t even allow himself to think about it, let alone recall the night that caused their fallout. But the more he tried not to think about it, the more his body rebelled, often dreaming of kissing Ji Minglun again, with each time being a different position but with increasingly intense feelings.
He couldn’t control these dreams or explain his impulsive behavior, only managing to reassure himself that it was all a side effect of the drastic changes he was undergoing and that it would gradually get better. Until he discovered Lu Zhe’s sexual orientation and found so many movies about what men do together.
After spending about twenty minutes in the kitchen, he returned to his room and copied the folder of those small films to his computer’s hard drive. By midnight, he put on his headphones, locked his door, and quietly watched the first two films.
That night, he suffered from insomnia until dawn, not just due to the strong visual shock, but because he actually watched them all without the expected disgust and nausea.
Before Ji Minglun confessed to him, he had never questioned his sexual orientation, but he also realized, like Ji Minglun, that he had never felt attracted to any girl. From the first time he experienced a wet dream on Ji Minglun’s bed, which Ji Minglun discovered, to their discussions about hand movements, and finally to the onset of voice changes.
Ji Minglun had participated in his entire sexual awakening process, but their friendship felt too much like family for him to ever think of it in a different direction. Until Ji Minglun suddenly confessed, catching him completely off guard and causing him to flee in panic, as if there was no other way but to escape.
The shrimp dumplings had unknowingly cooled down. Jiang Lin brought his thoughts back, picked one up with chopsticks, popped it into his mouth, and after swallowing, scooped some millet porridge with a spoon, which was just the right temperature when it reached his lips. Yet, his eyes suddenly felt hot, as if they had been burned.
Countless images flashed before him, each scene depicting events that had happened in this home, with Ji Minglun’s figure in every frame. He finally discovered in these memories that Ji Minglun used to smile at him a lot, and that tenderness and thoughtfulness were given to him alone.
After finishing the millet porridge, Jiang Lin scraped the bowl clean, leaving not a grain of rice. He also finished the shrimp dumplings and boiled eggs, even drinking the now-cold milk.
After cleaning up the bowls and chopsticks in the kitchen, he had just washed a spoon when he heard the bedroom door open.
Without turning around, he focused on washing until he heard footsteps approaching. One hand turned off the faucet, and Ji Minglun said, “Just leave it. Take your medicine; I’ll call for a car.”
Jiang Lin nodded, not saying anything unnecessary this time. He picked up the freshly washed glass to pour water, then took out the medicine from his bag by the coffee table and swallowed it with warm water.
Ji Minglun entered an address into his phone and ordered a ride. He then heard the voice prompt confirming that a driver had accepted the order and was on the way.
Jiang Lin put down his backpack and said, “Can you find me two bags? I need to pack my dirty clothes.”
There were special drawstring bags in the bathroom for clothes. Ji Minglun walked in and took out two from the wall cabinet, watching Jiang Lin approach the laundry basket. He first picked up a white checkered cotton shirt and folded it neatly, then took the dark green boxers from the middle, and finally picked up a pair of beige shorts.
As he was folding the shorts to put them in the bag, he heard Ji Minglun ask, “Aren’t you wearing any underwear?”
Jiang Lin’s lowered eyelashes trembled slightly as he replied, “It’s dirty; I didn’t want to wear it.”
Looking at the loose black sweatpants Jiang Lin had on, Ji Minglun was completely unprepared for Jiang Lin to have become this bold. As he contemplated whether to give him one of his new pairs of underwear, his phone vibrated, notifying him that the driver was 0.6 kilometers away and had sent a message asking if he would arrive at the pick-up point on time.
Jiang Lin had already packed all his dirty clothes and didn’t look back at Ji Minglun, turning to walk out.
As his eyes swept over Jiang Lin’s long legs again, Ji Minglun pressed the cancel button on the order. When he stepped out, he saw Jiang Lin putting on his shoes and walked over, picking up the car keys from the shoe cabinet. “I’ll drive you back.”
He didn’t look at Jiang Lin’s face while speaking, lowering his head to put on his shoes. After tying them, he moved aside to open the door.
The two entered the elevator one after the other, and the reflective walls showed their figures. Ji Minglun took out his phone, while Jiang Lin stared at his reflection in the elevator wall, both silent, only the sound of the elevator motor breaking the stillness.
The atmosphere was overly quiet, but no one felt awkward, especially Jiang Lin, who was fixated on Ji Minglun, with only one thought in his mind: Ji Minglun had called for a car; why was he now offering to drive him?
This area was the city center; even though it was nearly midnight, Ji Minglun shouldn’t be worried about him, a man, being unsafe while taking a cab, unless—
Was Ji Minglun concerned that he wasn’t wearing any underwear?
As this thought popped up, the elevator doors opened. Ji Minglun stepped out first, and Jiang Lin followed. Once they were inside the car, Ji Minglun asked, “Is your car still parked on the dock?”
“Yeah,” Jiang Lin fastened his seatbelt and replied, “My stomach still feels a bit uncomfortable; I don’t want to drive.”
Without making eye contact with Jiang Lin, Ji Minglun turned onto the main road after leaving the community, heading to the right.
It takes over twenty minutes by car from his home to Jiang Lin’s house. In the past, this route was the one he traveled most frequently and was the most familiar to him. Since the two of them fell out, he had never taken this route again; every time he had to pass by Jiang Lin’s house, he chose to go around. Therefore, tonight’s drive gave him the illusion that there were no problems between them, as if Jiang Lin were still sitting in the passenger seat as before. Even if they didn’t talk for a long time, it wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.
The orange-yellow streetlights lined the sides of the road, dispersing the dimness of the night. This road, with a speed limit of 60 km/h, was wide at both ends, yet Ji Minglun only drove at 45 km/h. The lights flickered across his face, and the changing illumination couldn’t clarify Jiang Lin’s features, but Ji Minglun could feel him watching him.
That gaze was so direct that it was utterly unhidden; he couldn’t tell if Jiang Lin thought he wouldn’t notice or if he wanted him to notice.
His mind was filled with a jumble of thoughts, and his attention gradually scattered. If it hadn’t been for Jiang Lin suddenly pulling him, he wouldn’t have realized he was almost running a red light.
Jiang Lin didn’t ask why he was distracted, but after that pull, Jiang Lin’s palm rested on the bend of his right arm, and it remained there for quite a while without withdrawing.
The car’s air conditioning was a bit cold; Jiang Lin’s palm was not warm, and his fingertips had little temperature. Ji Minglun endured for a while, then used the motion of adjusting the air conditioning to retract his arm.
In the latter half of the journey, Jiang Lin didn’t move again. It wasn’t until they stopped at a red light that Ji Minglun glanced at him and realized he had leaned back against the headrest and seemed to have fallen asleep.
His gaze slid from Jiang Lin’s slightly curled eyelashes to his delicate nose, and then to his light-colored, well-defined thin lips. The memory and sensations from that night resurfaced in his body.
That was their first kiss, and also each other’s first kiss. Before truly kissing Jiang Lin, Ji Minglun had read quite a bit of theoretical knowledge and pretended to exchange so-called “experiences” with some friends. Unfortunately, no amount of theory held up in practice; otherwise, he wouldn’t have lost control over a single kiss, wanting to continue with Jiang Lin.
He was jolted back to reality by the honking of a car behind him. For the rest of the ride, he didn’t think about anything. When they drove into the neighborhood where Jiang Lin lived and parked in front of the familiar building, he turned off the engine and turned to wake Jiang Lin.
Jiang Lin wasn’t in a deep sleep, but it was clear he looked tired when he opened his eyes. Upon realizing they had arrived home, he unbuckled his seatbelt and said to Ji Minglun, “Thanks for today.”
Half of Ji Minglun’s face was hidden in the shadows where the streetlight didn’t shine. He replied in a very calm tone, “No problem.”
Jiang Lin’s fingers pinched the loosened seatbelt, and he lowered his gaze, focusing on the pattern of the sweatpants between his legs. He had no intention of getting out of the car, and Ji Minglun didn’t rush him. After a brief silence, he softly asked, “Can we meet again?”