Try Again chapter 1

He’s Back

The watch by the pillow rang softly and vibrated at nine o’clock in the morning, but it didn’t disturb the person breathing heavily in bed. It wasn’t until a short and urgent sigh escaped from the quilt that the alarm was finally silenced at nine oh two.

Jiang Lin tossed off the blanket, gasping for breath with a flushed face, staring blankly at the ceiling. Only after he felt his mind calming down did he stretch out his arm to grab a tissue from the bedside table.

After wiping his hands clean, he got up and went to the bathroom.

Standing under the shower, the warm water washed over him, and the lingering fatigue became more pronounced. He closed his eyes, wanting to sleep, but his mind kept replaying the dream he had before waking up.

He had been embraced by his best friend since childhood, Ji Minglun, who had grown up with him since kindergarten. They were eagerly seeking each other’s mouths, with Ji Minglun igniting something within him, leading to yet another moment where he couldn’t hold back when he woke up…

To drive away the images in his mind, Jiang Lin pushed his head under the water curtain and squeezed out some shampoo.

The foam, scented with sandalwood and cedar, slid down his pale neck and dripped onto his reddened chest. In this fragrance, which belonged to someone else, he relaxed again, and after washing up, he felt much better.

Turning off the tap, he grabbed a towel hanging on the wall to dry off and walked to the mirror to turn on the light.

After drinking half a dozen beers last night, he didn’t remember when he had gotten drunk. This morning, his eyelids were indeed puffy, his almond-shaped eyes no longer slender, and the corners of his eyes were red.

After using a hairdryer to dry his hair, he heated a cup of milk in the kitchen and steamed two meat buns, then returned to his room to get dressed.

As he pulled off the towel from his waist, his gaze brushed over the mirror on the inside of the cabinet door. Looking at his flat chest in the reflection, the dream returned to his mind.

It had been a year since Ji Minglun confessed his feelings to him, and they hadn’t been in contact since then. Did that person still like him now?

He stared at the handsome boy in the mirror for a moment before lowering his eyes. He casually picked a white T-shirt, paired it with khaki shorts, and put on white sports socks. He tied a small braid at the nape of his neck, ate breakfast, and then grabbed a baseball cap before heading out.

In the garage, he drove the SUV that hadn’t moved for a year to a nearby repair shop for a wash. The newly replaced battery had enough power, but since he hadn’t touched the car in so long, it felt uncomfortable everywhere.

This car was bought during the summer of their senior year, after Ji Minglun suggested getting one. Jiang Lin had no special needs for a car, but thought it was better to have one than none, especially since his internship required traveling. So he agreed to buy one together.

At that time, Ji Minglun had his eyes on a newly released sports SUV from NIO. He dragged Jiang Lin to test drive it, and Jiang Lin found the handling and feel quite good. Eventually, under Ji Minglun’s persuasion, he settled on the same model; Ji Minglun chose the flashy ultra-blue, while he picked a more conventional cloud white.

The washing machine’s noise was very loud, and a staff member was loudly communicating with a customer nearby. Jiang Lin took out his noise-canceling headphones and put them on before sitting under the sunshade on a lounge chair. Before long, he felt a thin layer of sweat forming on his forehead.

In early July, Xiamen was humid and stuffy. Having only returned a few days ago, he already began to miss the coolness of Los Angeles. He took out his phone from his pocket, selected a sentimental song, and opened WeChat to check for the latest messages.

He had kept his phone number when he went abroad last year, but to avoid Ji Minglun finding him, he hadn’t answered any unfamiliar calls from Xiamen during the first few months.

The pinned profile picture on WeChat was no longer his selfie from before he left. Over the past year, Ji Minglun had changed his WeChat profile picture four times, from an empty basketball court to a plush cat on the wall, then to a small alley bathed in sunset glow, and finally to a rainy sky.He also hadn’t updated his Moments since then; each time Jiang Lin clicked in, only a line of gray dashes was displayed.

It remained unclear whether Ji Minglun hadn’t updated it or if all updates were hidden from him.

After reading some messages in the group chats, he received a WeChat message from Chen Nidan: [I might be half an hour late; there’s something going on at school. Sorry!]

Along with the message was an emoji apologizing with clasped hands. Jiang Lin replied: [I’m not in a hurry; take your time.]

Chen Nidan sent back an OK emoji. Jiang Lin waited another ten minutes, and by the time the car was finally washed, the heat outside had already reddened his cheeks.

The cloud-white SUV looked brand new after being washed with professional tools. A faint citrus scent filled the interior, and the airflow from the air conditioning vents was much stronger than before. After checking the tire pressure, he fastened his seatbelt and drove away from the car wash toward Xiamen University.

He had been back for less than a week. Apart from going to the supermarket for essential items and adjusting to the time difference at home, the only other things he did were visit his mother’s grave and check on a former teacher from his alma mater who was hospitalized. Other than that, he hadn’t left the house or had the chance to properly see the changes that Xiamen had undergone in the past year.

On the way, he played a song titled “Wish,” an English insert from a Hong Kong drama currently airing. He normally didn’t watch TV series, but his Hong Kong roommate was a fan of TVB dramas, and last week, he had played this song on repeat in their shared dorm. After hearing it so much, Jiang Lin slowly became fond of its gentle melody.

The scorching midday sun was blocked by the heat-insulating film, and the sweat on his back dried quickly, bringing him a sense of calm. After turning at a few familiar intersections, Jiang Lin parked his car at a temporary parking spot near Xiamen University’s south gate.

He waited in the car for more than 20 minutes, spacing out while looking at his phone three times before someone knocked on the passenger window. Snapping out of it, he unlocked the door, and Chen Nidan, bringing the heat from outside with her, sat down and immediately exclaimed, “What kind of hellish weather is this? People are melting out there!”

Jiang Lin smiled and was about to respond when she looked at him again and said, “You’ve been eating high-calorie food over there for a whole year, yet you’re still so thin?”

Turning the air conditioning up a notch, Jiang Lin handed her a bottle of sparkling water with a calamondin flavor. “You haven’t changed either,” he said.

“You’re just trying to make me feel better. I’ve gained nearly ten pounds,” Chen Nidan replied, taking a big gulp from the bottle before adding, “But it seems like I’m the only one who’s changed. Ji Minglun looks about the same as you—no difference at all.”

The reason Jiang Lin asked Chen Nidan out today was to inquire about Ji Minglun. Now that she brought him up, Jiang Lin remained silent, only reminding her to fasten her seatbelt before starting the car and driving forward. After a few intersections, he turned into a small street and parked in front of a Korean restaurant.

This area was a popular spot for Xiamen University students to find food. The restaurant had a distinctive decor and delicious food, so it was always packed during mealtimes.

They arrived early, so there were still seats available. Jiang Lin went to a nearby convenience store to buy a bottle of oolong tea. When he returned, he saw Chen Nidan sitting in their usual spot against the wall. He sat down across from her and had just opened the bottle when she asked if he was still eating the same things as before.

He had eaten two meat buns before leaving home this morning, so he wasn’t hungry. He only ordered a bowl of cold noodles.

Chen Nidan ordered spicy rice cakes and cheese ribs. After scanning the QR code to place the order, she pushed up her round glasses and looked at Jiang Lin. “You really didn’t tell Ji Minglun you were back?”

Chen Nidan and Jiang Lin had been neighbors for eight years and had both majored in journalism at Xiamen University. Compared to Ji Minglun, who was in the same department but not living nearby, she and Jiang Lin were closer and got along better.

“No,” Jiang Lin’s gaze was fixed on the oolong tea bottle in front of him, his tone indifferent. “Apart from you and my dad, only Teacher Gao knows I’m back.”

Noticing the subtle hint of melancholy in his expression, Chen Nidan asked, “Are you two still fighting?”

She had gone on last year’s graduation trip and naturally witnessed what happened that night. There were about ten of them playing Truth or Dare, and in one round, Ji Minglun was dared to confess his feelings to the birthday boy, Jiang Lin.

By then, everyone had drunk too much and was slumped on the sofa. But a few playful friends egged Ji Minglun on. He had likely had too much to drink because he forgot that Jiang Lin was homophobic. Grabbing Jiang Lin’s hand, he had said seriously, “Jiang Lin, I’ve actually liked you for a long time.”

Jiang Lin wasn’t good with alcohol, and after three beers, he was already tipsy. Without thinking about how strange the confession was or noticing Ji Minglun’s expression, he pushed him away and went to the bathroom.

At school, Jiang Lin was always aloof, unlike Ji Minglun, whose cheerful personality made him popular. While their friends didn’t tease Jiang Lin further, they didn’t let Ji Minglun off the hook for his “successful confession.” When Jiang Lin returned from the bathroom and opened the private room door, he heard someone asking Ji Minglun how it felt to “suddenly turn gay.”

Jiang Lin hadn’t taken the joke seriously and had forgotten all about it after coming back from the bathroom. Ji Minglun didn’t bring it up again either and continued joking around with their friends. When everyone finally left, the two of them returned to their shared hotel room upstairs.

They were sharing the same room, and Jiang Lin was about to get up to shower when Ji Minglun suddenly grabbed his wrist with a hot hand.

The room was still dark, and Ji Minglun called his name. As Jiang Lin looked up, he found Ji Minglun right in front of him, their breaths mingling. Ji Minglun’s warm lips pressed against his, and a tongue slipped into his mouth.

Jiang Lin had never kissed anyone before, and the alcohol dulled his senses, so he didn’t react right away. It wasn’t until he was pinned against the wall, with Ji Minglun holding his hands and their bodies pressed together, that he finally realized how absurd the situation was.

Jiang Lin snapped back to the present and nodded slightly in response to Chen Nidan’s question. She sighed and said, “He’s doing okay now, but he was pretty down for a while after you left.”

After moving to Los Angeles, Jiang Lin almost completely cut off contact with his classmates from Xiamen. He was naturally reserved and didn’t enjoy socializing. Apart from Chen Nidan, no one knew that he and Ji Minglun had fallen out.

Clenching his fingers into his palm, Jiang Lin asked, “How was he down?”

“He just stopped talking to anyone,” Chen Nidan said, resting her chin on her hand. “Not long after you left, he stopped coming to school. He spent almost two months alone in Qinghai during the summer break, but after the new semester started, he was back to normal, joking around with everyone again.”

Jiang Lin listened thoughtfully, then asked, “Has he had a girlfriend in the past year?”

Whether it was his imagination or not, Chen Nidan’s expression seemed to change when he asked the question. Feeling guilty, Jiang Lin avoided her gaze, but she quickly responded, “No. But I heard two girls confessed to him, and he turned them both down.”

Ji Minglun, with his 1.84-meter height, striking looks, and penchant for trendy fashion, stood out wherever he went. His easy going personality made him approachable, and he was always surrounded by girls who liked him. Even guys rarely found him unlikable.

Jiang Lin was well aware of Ji Minglun’s strengths, but throughout high school and their four years in college, Ji Minglun had never had a girlfriend or mentioned liking anyone. In the past, Jiang Lin believed his explanation that he hadn’t met the right person, but later he realized that the person Ji Minglun had feelings for had always been by his side—he just never dared to say it out loud.

A sudden phone call interrupted their conversation. Looking at the name on the screen, Chen Nidan explained that it was her professor calling. During the ten-minute conversation with her professor, Jiang Lin also glanced at his phone, and Chen Nidan could tell Jiang Lin was distracted, even eating absentmindedly when the cold noodles were served.

Chen Nidan and Jiang Lin had known each other for over ten years. Though they weren’t the type to share everything, she still knew his personality and character. In fact, when he asked if Ji Minglun had a girlfriend, Chen Nidan already had her suspicions, especially when she thought back to their past relationship and how their fallout happened after that “confession” night. But since the topic was sensitive, she was worried Jiang Lin would feel embarrassed, so she didn’t ask directly.

Later, over dinner, they talked about their current lives. Jiang Lin didn’t go into detail about his life in Los Angeles, only discussing academic matters, while Chen Nidan mentioned the changes in the journalism school over the past year.

After dinner, Chen Nidan had to meet a friend, so she didn’t let Jiang Lin drop her off. Before they parted, she asked Jiang Lin if he was still planning to hide his return from Ji Minglun. Jiang Lin unlocked his car door and said he would think about it. Just before saying goodbye, Chen Nidan remembered something else.

When she mentioned that Ji Minglun and a friend had opened a café together, Jiang Lin asked for the address. After Chen Nidan left, he opened the car’s GPS and located the café, called “Chaka.”

The café was located in the Shapowei Art District, just a few minutes’ drive from Xiamen University’s south gate. After parking his car, Jiang Lin put on round-framed sunglasses and pulled down the brim of his baseball cap. Only after confirming that nothing looked off in the mirror did he get out of the car and walk to the café.

It was a cozy, 50-square-meter café with a romantic, free-spirited atmosphere, featuring potted plants and bohemian-style decorations. The minimalist sign at the entrance had the word “Chaka” written in two elegant script letters in black on a white background. As Jiang Lin examined the sign, he recalled that Chen Nidan had mentioned Ji Minglun had visited Qinghai, so the name likely referred to the Chaka Salt Lake.

Standing behind a large phoenix tree, Jiang Lin looked into the café. Inside, there was one man and two women busy working, with many customers seated in the dining area. By the door stood a delivery rider in a yellow jacket, talking on the phone. Behind him, a small blackboard on the wall read “Part-time staff wanted.”

Jiang Lin stood under the tree for over an hour, but Ji Minglun never appeared. Figuring he wasn’t in the café, Jiang Lin turned back to his car.

He cranked the air conditioning to full blast and downed an entire bottle of mineral water. Staring at the setting sun, he decided to check out Ji Minglun’s apartment.

In the days since he returned, Jiang Lin had held off on meeting Ji Minglun. But after his conversation with Chen Nidan today, he realized that much had happened in Ji Minglun’s life during the past year that he didn’t know about. And while he had also changed in ways Ji Minglun was unaware of, the distance between them when living in separate countries made the unfamiliarity less noticeable. Now, however, things were different.

He was back in the same place where they could meet anytime, yet the person who had once been so familiar to him was now no longer someone he could see at will.

Jiang Lin waited across from Ji Minglun’s apartment complex until 8 p.m., starting to grow restless.

It had been hours since he last used the restroom, but this area was filled with upscale residential buildings, with no public bathrooms in sight. He had waited so long, yet no lights had come on in Ji Minglun’s home, and no cars had entered or exited the building. It seemed he wasn’t back yet.

Just as Jiang Lin was debating whether to hold out a bit longer or call it a day, a familiar car finally appeared in his rearview mirror.

Ji Minglun’s car model was the same as his, and the color was easily recognizable. But what really stood out was the license plate—they had both chosen their birthdays as their plate numbers. As soon as Jiang Lin saw the numbers, he held his breath and stared at the person in the driver’s seat. But before he could get a good look, he noticed someone sitting in the passenger seat.

The person in the  passenger seat was wearing a black face mask, with a ponytail draped over their left shoulder. Perhaps feeling uncomfortable, the person’s head was leaning against the headrest. As Ji Minglun slowed down to turn into the apartment complex, Jiang Lin saw him reach out with his right hand to touch the person’s neck and say something. As they waited for the gate to lift, Ji Minglun leaned his whole body toward the other person.

Author’s Note:

Some readers had questions about the word “watch” in the first sentence. To clarify, Jiang Lin was wearing a smartwatch, not a regular wristwatch, and I didn’t mention the brand because I didn’t want to specify.