Decayed Vulgarian chapter 37
Melodramatic
At six in the evening, the city of Huafu in Hualong illuminated with countless lights.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, the night and the temperature fell together. Upon exiting the car and escaping the warmth of the heater, Shen Xun immediately felt the chill. He hunched his shoulders to reduce the cold and took a few steps. Meng Yuan Cen grabbed his left hand, conveniently tucking it into the coat pocket, and their fingers intertwined.
The surroundings were filled with the deafening noise of honking vehicles, but neither Shen Xun nor Meng Yuan Cen minded the noise. They raised their voices to converse. The words they spoke turned into white puffs of breath that sprayed onto each other’s cheeks as they strolled to their doorstep.
For dinner, Meng Yuan Cen prepared millet and sweet potato porridge, accompanied by two side dishes. After the meal, Meng Yuan Cen tidied up the table and went to the kitchen to do the dishes.
Shen Xun had tried to dissuade Meng Yuan Cen from doing this, but his injured right hand lacked any persuasive power. Meng Yuan Cen’s words, “Your right hand can’t get wet; how can you wash the dishes?” left him speechless.
During this gap, Shen Xun briefly explained the situation to the captain and took photos of the hospital registration forms, among other things. He requested a medical leave verbally since, given his current condition, even if he went to the police station, he wouldn’t be able to do anything. It would be more of a hindrance.
Silently returning his phone to his pocket, Shen Xun leaned against the kitchen door and watched Meng Yuan Cen’s back. He felt a sense of surrealism, like he was living in a dream. The roles seemed to have reversed from his previous dreams.
“We should be together.”
“Okay.”
In his previous dreams, he had always been the one confessing, and Meng Yuan Cen had been the one to agree. This time, their roles had switched.
The evening sun and the artificial light outside embraced each other and filtered into the room. The window grilles carved the light into parallelograms that landed on the kitchen stove and on Meng Yuan Cen’s shoulders.
“Shen Xun.”
Shen Xun was lost in thought, gazing at the patches of light. He finally came up with a satisfactory comparison. It was like the golden leaf on the Happy Prince, beneath which was a gentle and powerful heart.
“Shen Xun?”
Meng Yuan Cen called him again, but Shen Xun didn’t react. His hand, which had just been under running water, was damp, and he flicked it towards Shen Xun’s face, splashing water droplets.
Shen Xun wiped away the droplets with his left hand and remained silent for a moment. Then he said solemnly, “I’m thinking about how I stole your heart, and how many people must be heartbroken.”
He had a way of delivering jokes so seriously.
Meng Yuan Cen couldn’t help but stifle a chuckle. He closed the kitchen door and pushed Shen Xun’s shoulder as they moved towards the living room. “So, since I’ve also stolen your heart, how many people are heartbroken?”
Shen Xun hesitated before responding, “none.”
Meng Yuan Cen replied, “being modest huh?”
Shen Xun gave Meng Yuan Cen a puzzled look. “I’m not lying.”
After some thought, he asked, “You must have been pursued by many people since you were young, right?”
Meng Yuan Cen was taken aback for a moment, but he quickly understood that this question was something of a trap. He shifted his answer. “Those who pursued me, I didn’t like any of them.”
However, Shen Xun’s focus was elsewhere. ‘So, you’re admitting that many people pursued you.’
After a brief pause, he said, “But I wasn’t.”
Shen Xun walked slowly to the floor-to-ceiling window, drawing the curtains gently. When he turned around, he noticed Meng Yuan Cen had turned on the living room light.
He curled up on the couch and turned on the TV. No matter how hard he pressed the remote control, it couldn’t reach the channel he wanted.
Shen Xun pressed the red power button and threw the remote onto a nearby cushion.
The person next to him was staring at him, and Shen Xun couldn’t ignore it. ‘…There’s nothing interesting on TV.’
Meng Yuan Cen suggested, ‘Then let’s do something else.’
Shen Xun said, ‘What should we do?.’
Meng Yuan Cen shifted closer, wrapping one arm around Shen Xun’s slender back and placing his fingertips on Shen Xun’s shoulder. With a little force, he made Shen Xun lean against his chest. ‘Chat with me for a while.’
Shen Xun remained motionless, his body stiff. After a few seconds of silence, he said, ‘I don’t know what to talk about. I’m not very good at making small talk.’
Meng Yuan Cen proposed, ‘Just say anything. For example, you can talk about yourself.’
It sounded like a good suggestion. However, Shen Xun was aware that he had always been the type of person who didn’t easily share his past. It was a self-preservation mechanism that had formed over the years. He preferred to keep his past as part of his private life and didn’t find it interesting or want to share it for sympathy.
But Meng Yuan Cen’s words provided an opportunity to change that. Shen Xun considered it as a way to express trust. Although it seemed illogical because it was his first time, he decided to talk about himself.
Meng Yuan Cen encouraged, ‘Say whatever comes to your mind. Tonight, let me be your exclusive confidant.’
Shen Xun had many unspoken words, and now he finally had the chance. He attempted to dissect himself. Because it was his first time, it may sound illogical. ‘When I was in junior high, I wanted to become a forensic doctor. You’ve seen my diary, but you only saw parts of it, right?’
‘Yes.’
‘Back then, I was quite arrogant. I brought forensic science books to school.’ Shen Xun chuckled self-mockingly. ‘I was very introverted as a child, even more than I am now. I was the weird kid next door, although I had good grades. I looked gloomy.’
Meng Yuan Cen frowned slightly at the end, then quickly returned to normal. It was the first time he had heard someone use the term “gloomy” to describe themselves.
“Imagine this: If you had a male classmate in your class who always scored the highest in exams but never spoke, always kept to himself, had no friends, and instead, he enthusiastically read gruesome books every day, would you think he resembled a childhood silhouette of a high-intelligence murderer from a TV series?”
“No,” Meng Yuan Cen replied without hesitation. “I think that’s a prejudice.”
However, Shen Xun continued as if ignoring Meng Yuan Cen’s response, “My middle school and high school years were like that – introverted, quiet, and not inclined to smile. So, people were somewhat afraid of me.”
“But I think you’re adorable.”
Shen Xun blinked at Meng Yuan Cen and said, “Please don’t interrupt; keep quiet, Mr. Confidant.”
Meng Yuan Cen nodded with a smile and remained completely silent.
“I’ve actually asked some friends about their opinions on forensic scientists.”
“Uh-huh.”
Shen Xun delved into his memories, “I’m not sure if it’s because the sample size was too small, but their answers were quite similar. They all said that forensic science is a noble profession, one worthy of their admiration and respect.”
“So, I asked them what if their potential partner was a forensic scientist? They said they would still admire and respect them from a distance.”
Shen Xun pursed his lips, looked up at Meng Yuan Cen, and continued, “I’m not sure if I’ve made myself clear. What I want to express is that my friends don’t discriminate against the profession of forensic scientists. On the contrary, they hold great respect for them. They acknowledge the greatness of forensic science. However, they wouldn’t consider choosing a forensic scientist as their partner.”
“For various reasons, such as a challenging work environment and limited time with family, I can understand their choices. I think it’s just human nature.”
Meng Yuan Cen patted Shen Xuan’s hair, “So, what’s your point?”
Shen Xun’s throat moved slightly, and he spoke softly, “So, I find it surreal.”
Meng Yuan Cen inquired, “What seems surreal?”
“From when you asked me to be with you at the hospital… to everything that happened afterward, it all seems unreal.”
“Why?”
Shen Xun lowered his gaze, absentmindedly tracing circles on the pillow with his fingertips. “Because I’ve imagined it many times. I always felt that I would be the one to break through the window paper, and I would be the one to confess my feelings.”
Meng Yuan Cen cupped Shen Xun’s hand with both of his. “Why can’t it be me?”
Shen Xun spoke slowly, “Because you’ve never lacked admirers, and I’ve never been a popular person from childhood to now. So, I feel like it should be me.”
Meng Yuan Cen gazed into Shen Xun’s eyes, then lifted Shen Xun’s hand and kissed the back of it. “What if it’s me?”
Shen Xun felt somewhat uncomfortable and pulled his hand back without saying a word.
Meng Yuan Cen redirected his attention and gently turned Shen Xun’s face, leaning down to kiss his lips. They kissed with enthusiasm, their breath and heartbeats falling into harmony. Shen Xun’s body relaxed, his eyelashes glistened with dew, and only when their lips parted did Meng Yuan Cen say, “So, does it feel a bit more real now?”
Shen Xun’s ears turned slightly red, and after a silent pause, he nodded.
“In fact, I don’t really care how many people pursue me,” Meng Yuan Cen said while looking into Shen Xun’s eyes. “I’ve always believed that having a few close friends is enough, and when it comes to someone you love, one is more than sufficient.”
Shen Xun chuckled, “Are you in Versailles or something?”
Meng Yuan Cen shook his head, saying, “I’m really not.”
He continued, “I’m a bit peculiar. I have a kind of childish and somewhat laughable stubbornness, especially when it comes to my profession. This sense of dissonance becomes even stronger.”
“I know a lawyer who specializes in family law. I’ve heard a lot from him about marriages that ended in failure. I’ve also seen couples tearing each other apart during property division and custody battles, becoming unlikable enemies. I’ve handled murder cases, and theoretically, I should be a thorough realist. But in reality, I’m more like someone who has waded through the waters of reality but still believes in love, innocently and stubbornly, like the heroism of Romain Roland.”
Shen Xun looked up at Meng Yuan Cen, and their eyes met. He seemed to read something in Meng Yuan Cen’s eyes.
“I also remembered a very romantic story from when I was studying back in University.”
“At that time, communication tools weren’t as advanced, and school publications were more widespread. There was a special section in the school magazine for making friends, initially created to provide students with a way to meet new people. Eventually, it evolved into a ‘marriage seeking’ section, and we all joked that it was similar to today’s confession walls.”
“There was a girl who wrote about herself in great detail in the school magazine. She wrote with sincerity and her words had a lot of spirit. She left her contact information at the end, and many people sent her text messages. However, only one guy chose to send her a handwritten letter because the girl had mentioned in her writing that she loved letters. In the end, they got together.”
“One day, the girl and the guy talked about their fate. The guy asked the girl if, after her story was published in the school magazine, she was busy replying to a lot of people’s greetings every day. The girl said that she didn’t. Out of a kind of strange ritual that she pursued, she replied to only one person among the over a hundred who had contacted her. She likened it to ‘a river of thousands of currents, but I take only a ladleful to drink.’ She found it very romantic.”
“So, how naive am I?”
Shen Xun had a premonition of what Meng Yuan Cen was going to say next.
“I wonder, could the first person I actively pursue be the right one, and then we’ll spend the rest of our lives together.”
Shen Xun suddenly raised his head, grabbed Meng Yuan Cen’s collar, and kissed him directly. He kissed with inexperience and fierceness, innocence and loyalty.
Meng Yuan Cen held onto the back of Shen Xun’s head with both hands as their lips and tongues explored each other. When they kissed again, he gently bit Shen Xun’s lip and heard Shen Xun’s muffled groan of pain. Then, he used his tongue to lick the blood seeping from the corner of Shen Xun’s mouth.
Shen Xun suddenly remembered something and pushed Meng Yuan Cen away.
Meng Yuan Cen hadn’t had enough of the kiss and was caught off guard by Shen Xun’s interruption. The captivating eyes of Shen Xun were fixed intently on him, “So, did we kiss that night? Was it you who bit my lip?”
“Yes,” Meng Yuan Cen admitted straightforwardly.
“Why didn’t you say anything before… What happened that night?”
Speaking of this, Meng Yuan Cen still felt a bit annoyed. The night he was forced to cool off by himself ended with him having many passionate dreams, each starring Shen Xun. “You came to flirt with me when you were drunk, and after sobering up, you called me to say you didn’t remember anything. What was I supposed to think? Do you really believe I would actively bring this up and mention it?”
After Meng Yuan Cen said all of that, he realized that it had another layer of meaning. Shen Xun looked somewhat embarrassed.
Meng Yuan Cen was partly convinced, partly doubtful. “You can’t have no memory at all, right?”
Shen Xun spoke softly, “I really don’t remember anything after getting drunk.”
Meng Yuan Cen pretended to be stern, saying nothing for a moment, but a few seconds later, he couldn’t contain his laughter and said, “Alright, I believe you.”
Oddly, on the other side, Shen Xun was silent for a moment, and for some reason, he suddenly let out a long sigh.
Meng Yuan Cen asked, “What’s wrong?”
“It’s just that I feel like I’ve said a lot of things. I regret it a bit. It all feels quite melodramatic,” Shen Xun turned to Meng Yuan Cen and asked, “So, can you forget it all tomorrow?”
Meng Yuan Cen smiled and nodded, “Mr. Confidant says it’s no problem.”