I Only Want You chapter 9

Yan Lan noticed that the person entering had unsteady footsteps. He walked crookedly from the hallway to the living room, concerned that he might fall. Quickly descending the stairs, Yan Lan approached and supported the visibly intoxicated person, guiding him to sit on the sofa.

Xie Yun Zhi, in his drunken state, couldn’t fully open his eyes. His usually calm eyes were now filled with mist, and he kept looking at Yan Lan as if trying to see his face clearly. However, no matter how hard he looked, it seemed like he couldn’t focus. He weakly grabbed Yan Lan’s wrist and spoke with a softness that was unlike his usual self, “…Who are you? Why do I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere?”

Yan Lan had experience taking care of intoxicated people; Yang Xiaole occasionally got so drunk that he would stumble out of the school gate, and he had carried him back to the dormitory. He knew how to remove makeup and handle Yang Xiaole’s drunken antics. Dealing with a drunken Xie Yun Zhi should be manageable.

So, he calmly released Xie Yun Zhi’s grip on his wrist, went to the bathroom, found a towel used for washing faces, and moistened it with some warm water. As he was about to go back he suddenly noticed that Xie Yun Zhi had followed him into the bathroom without him noticing. Xie Yun Zhi stood there stiffly, silently leaning against the door frame, staring at Yan Lan. In a low voice, he murmured, “Who are you?”

Yan Lan was startled, and his heart raced. Irritated, he shot Xie Yun Zhi a glance, squeezed out from the gap between him and the door frame, and led the seemingly forgetful person back to the living room.

Xie Yun Zhi complied, doing whatever Yan Lan instructed. If Yan Lan asked him to walk, he walked. If Yan Lan asked him to sit, he sat. However, his gaze remained blurry, as if he desperately wanted to see who Yan Lan was.

Using the warm towel in his hand, Yan Lan gently wiped Xie Yun Zhi’s face. Then, he turned to the kitchen to pour a glass of water for him. Before leaving, he turned and emphatically gestured to the person who seemed to want to follow him, shaking his head to signal him not to come along, but to sit quietly.

Xie Yun Zhi obediently lowered his head and sadly sat back on the sofa, waiting for Yan Lan to return with the water.

After gulping down most of the warm water, Xie Yun Zhi looked up at Yan Lan, who was helping him loosen his tie. Suddenly, he reached out and grabbed Yan Lan’s hand, calling out, “Teacher Yan?”

The use of the term “Teacher Yan” caused Yan Lan’s hands to tremble. Xie Yun Zhi seemed oblivious to his reaction. His misty eyes continued to gaze at Yan Lan, and he even raised a hand to gently stroke his cheek. “Is it you… Teacher Yan?”

Unconsciously holding his breath, Yan Lan looked at him in astonishment.

Xie Yun Zhi kept looking at him. With his head resting against the sofa’s backrest, his head slightly tilted, and his eyes blinking slowly, he murmured, “Teacher Yan, my head hurts…”

When Yan Lan regained his senses. He helped Xie Yun Zhi undo his tie, unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt, and then used his hands to gently massage Xie Yun Zhi’s temples.

Xie Yun Zhi’s right palm was still against Yan Lan’s cheek. He continued staring at him, and even lifted a hand to delicately touch the corner of Yan Lan’s eyes. “Teacher Yan, you’re so beautiful…”

Blushing, Yan Lan bit his lip. Even if it was just drunken talk, he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. The coldness and indifference on his face dissipated entirely. This ambiguous situation was too teasing, and he couldn’t bear it. He withdrew his hand, turning his head to avoid Xie Yun Zhi’s hand on his cheek.

Unexpectedly, this evasive action triggered the intoxicated Xie Yun Zhi.

Suddenly sitting up, Xie Yun Zhi grabbed Yan Lan’s wrist, looking puzzled and somewhat sad. “Teacher Yan, where are you going?”

With flushed cheeks, Yan Lan tried to pull his hand back, but Xie Yun Zhi held on tightly. With a bit more force, he then pulled Yan Lan into his arms, wrapping his arms around his slender waist. He murmured, calling out to him, “Teacher Yan…”

Yan Lan’s back was stimulated by his scorching breath, causing a tingling sensation as if an electric current had passed through him. The more he tried to evade, the more Xie Yun Zhi’s face pressed into his neck, as if trying to smell the scent on him.

Yan Lan didn’t actually mind, but it was indeed embarrassing. If he could speak, he might have tried to convince Xie Yun Zhi to let go.

However, being mute due to vocal cord issues, even if he opened his mouth, no sound would come out.

His silence seemed like acquiescence at this moment. Xie Yun Zhi held onto him tightly, refusing to let go, as if he cherished the warmth on Yan Lan’s body and wished to press their bodies together.

Perhaps finding it inadequate that only their upper bodies were close, just as Yan Lan was thinking about how to break free, Xie Yun Zhi suddenly lifted him, placing him onto his lap. Tilting his face up, he kissed Yan Lan’s lips.

The wet, warm lips felt scorching, and the unexpectedly non-offensive scent of alcohol didn’t bother Yan Lan. However, the stolen breath made him feel a suffocating discomfort.

He placed his hands on Xie Yun Zhi’s shoulders, instinctively turning his head to breathe, but a displeased Xie Yun Zhi forcefully brought him back. Punishingly, Xie Yun Zhi bit Yan Lan’s water-red lips and greedily sucked on his soft tongue. His hands on Yan Lan’s back explored eagerly.

Sitting on Xie Yun Zhi’s lap, Yan Lan found it difficult to breathe from the intense kissing. He couldn’t even moan, only frowning weakly as he was kissed.

Drunken Xie Yun Zhi was domineering. He didn’t allow Yan Lan to evade, let alone escape. His strong hands firmly held him, calling him “Teacher Yan,” while his tongue invaded every inch of Yan Lan’s mouth.

Yan Lan, tossed around like a stranded fish, felt his body going limp. He sensed that… At the moment things were taking an alarming turn, and even though he felt uneasy, he couldn’t allow this to happen in the living room.

What if Auntie or Tiantian saw them…

With flushed cheeks, Yan Lan bit his lower lip. Gently patting the head buried in his neck, he slowly stood up from Xie Yun Zhi’s lap, taking the confused and bewildered Xie Yun Zhi with him. He struggled to support his weakened legs and guided him upstairs.

Auntie had prepared a guest room for him, but Yan Lan hadn’t slept there because he was taking care of Tiantian. The room now had no pillows or blankets on the big bed, only a pristine white sheet. Before he could turn around, he was pressed onto the bed from behind…

A night of indulgence.

In the middle of the night, when Yan Lan was half-asleep and drowsy, he was forced to change his position. In a half-dream state, he was tormented until his toes curled up and his waist and abdomen unconsciously tensed and then relaxed heavily.

The room was filled with an enchanting atmosphere and sticky sounds, making the mouth dry and the throat parched. An itching sensation lingered in the chest.

Yan Lan couldn’t remember when he fell asleep. The moment he woke up, he couldn’t even recall everything that had happened last night. He just felt that his muscles and bones were so sore that he had no strength, and he couldn’t even lift a finger.

Reality didn’t allow him to be dazed for too long. Soon, all the memories from last night rushed back into his hazy mind.

Stiffening, he buried his face in the sheet. He could already feel that Xie Yun Zhi hadn’t taken care of things yet…

A feeling of shame, making him want to find a hole to hide in for a lifetime, caused him to tremble all over. His cheeks and ears felt like they were on fire. At this moment, it was as if a little person in his brain was screaming: What to do! What should I do now!

He wanted to run, but he dared not move! Xie Yun Zhi’s arm was still wrapped around his waist!

Just as he was nearing a breakdown, the person behind him finally woke up.

Yan Lan heard a gasp and quickly closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep.

He didn’t know how long passed, but he heard a sharp intake of breath, and then the thing buried in his body slowly slipped out.

Yan Lan’s body trembled continuously. He couldn’t make a sound, but that didn’t mean his body didn’t feel anything.

So, soon, Xie Yun Zhi realized that he was pretending to be asleep. With a husky and inexplicably sexy voice, he said, “Teacher Yan…”

Yan Lan lifted his hand, burying his face in the crook of his arm, exposing his reddened ears.

“Teacher Yan, I’m sorry.”

Yan Lan remained unresponsive.

Xie Yun Zhi, with a regretful expression, lowered his head, seemingly afraid to look at the ambiguous traces all over Yan Lan’s body. “I can compensate you with whatever you want.”

After a while, still embarrassed, Yan Lan slowly sat up. His clothes were thrown on the floor, buttons torn off, and the sunlight entering the room gave his snow-white body an almost transparent quality, dazzling to the eyes.

Xie Yun Zhi struggled to control his gaze, not wanting to look at that body, but not looking meant not knowing what Yan Lan was expressing through sign language. His brows furrowed tightly, attempting to use a serious expression to dispel the current ambiguous atmosphere.

However, it was destined to be futile because, after seeing Yan Lan’s expression, his deliberately serious expression instantly dissipated in surprise.

The usually indifferent and expressionless cold face now revealed a hint of faint shyness. There was none of the disgust, anger, or humiliation that Xie Yun Zhi had imagined. Instead, it was pure, and anyone could see what was on his mind.

Still in shock, Xie Yun Zhi, who was leaning against the head of the bed, saw Yan Lan quickly raise both hands, making four simple sign language gestures: “I,” “only,” “want,” “you.”

After completing the sign language, Yan Lan quickly lowered his head. His long eyelashes were like small fans, beautiful enough to captivate the heart.

Xie Yun Zhi stared at him in a daze. When he realized that Yan Lan’s sign language was an answer to his earlier question about what compensation he wanted, his entire worldview was shaken.

“…Teacher Yan, I’m not gay.”

Yan Lan lowered his head, revealing a clear hickey on his collarbone: “I’m not either.”

Xie Yun Zhi couldn’t help but raise his hand to his forehead. For a moment, he didn’t know how to react.

If it were just any random stranger, things would be much simpler. But it happened to be Yan Lan, whom he addressed as Teacher Yan, like an ice-cold mute beauty.

All the usual compensatory measures seemed belittling and sacrilegious when spoken aloud.

Xie Yun Zhi’s mind went blank, seemingly capable only of repeating the same sentence: “Teacher Yan, I’m not gay…”

Yan Lan nodded calmly, indicating that he understood, then supported himself on the bedside table and stood up slowly. Awkwardly and laboriously, he picked up the clothes on the floor and quietly put them on.

Xie Yun Zhi kept staring at him, watching him put on one piece after another with his back turned. He even picked up the two broken buttons on the floor, putting them in his pocket. Then, he turned slightly, nodded to Xie Yun Zhi, and left the room.

After Yan Lan left, it took Xie Yun Zhi almost half an hour to fully accept the two facts: that he had slept with Yan Lan, and that Yan Lan had feelings for him.

He couldn’t recall everything that happened in this room last night, but he vaguely remembered some memories from downstairs. He remembered that he was the one who pulled Yan Lan into his embrace first. He even vaguely recalled the gentle expression on Yan Lan’s face at that time.

So, Yan Lan liked him…

The shock this fact brought to him was no less than when he woke up and found Yan Lan sleeping naked in his arms.

Guilt and regret pressed on his heart like a mountain. He couldn’t think rationally at all. His mind was filled with the image of Yan Lan dressing in front of him, as well as his quiet and shy sign language.

He couldn’t understand Yan Lan’s feelings for him at all. In his memory, the total number of times they met could be counted on one hand. How could Yan Lan possibly like him? Was it just because they met a few years ago?

But what happened back then? He couldn’t remember anything. Their first meeting, as far as he knew, was on the day he came to work. Later, he couldn’t even recall Yan Lan’s name.

His confused thoughts were like two thick hemp ropes tied in a dead knot. The more he thought about it, the more he felt that he owed Yan Lan. But he couldn’t respond with guilt.

Before leaving the Xie family, Yan Lan quietly went to Tiantian’s room. Tiantian was still asleep, and he carefully touched Tiantian’s forehead to confirm that he wasn’t running a fever. Only then did he let out a sigh of relief, tucked in the sleeping child, stood by the bed, quietly watched the little face for a while, before reluctantly picking up his canvas bag and leaving.

He left without alerting Auntie. It was a secret departure. Since both he and Xie Yun Zhi fell asleep immediately after their intimate encounter last night, there was no cleanup. He walked out and took a taxi, but his underwear was soaked along the way, making him very uncomfortable.

What was even more uncomfortable was that his legs were still weak. Walking intermittently for a while, it took more than twice the usual time to return to the dorm.

Yang Xiaole was still sleeping, a cartoon eye mask almost covering half of his face, even making small snoring sounds in his sleep.

Carrying his clothes, Yan Lan entered the bathroom, exhaustedly cleaning himself. It seemed like he couldn’t wash away everything. His collarbone, the inside of his thighs, and even his chest were covered with hickeys and bite marks, each one vividly red.

There was nothing to regret. He did it willingly, and being rejected was expected. Besides, the part-time job had already ended. Although he missed one class last night, it didn’t matter much; he would just receive a little less money. They probably wouldn’t have a chance to meet again in the future.

Looking at his body in the mirror, Yan Lan thought, it’s not bad.