Seventh Year Of Separation chapter 39
Can’t Easily Regret
By the time the two returned to the hotel, it was already nightfall.
Gu Jiahe hadn’t eaten much these past few days, and after a day of running around, he was quite exhausted. He washed up and crawled into the bed, soon falling silent.
Li Zhao had just come out of the bathroom when he noticed Gu Jiahe was already lying in bed, asleep, with only his head sticking out of the covers.
In the dim light of the bedside lamp, that head looked fuzzy.
Li Zhao gently pulled back his side of the covers and lay down beside him. Originally, Li Zhao was lying on his back, but after half a minute, he slowly turned to his side.
He faced the fuzzy head of Gu Jiahe. Gu Jiahe had probably just washed his hair; there was a refreshing lemon scent between the strands, mixed with a hint of the lingering snow from the day. Li Zhao knew snow shouldn’t have a scent, but he still felt that way at the moment.
Then, he raised his hand and turned off the bedside lamp. The whole room fell into darkness, with only a trace of natural light sneaking in through the gap in the curtains. The snow outside had lessened a bit, but it still hadn’t stopped.
Tonight, it was difficult for Li Zhao to fall asleep.
In the darkness, he stared at the back of Gu Jiahe’s head for a long time. Until the hot air from the air conditioner turned and gently blew Gu Jiahe’s hair. That long scar revealed a faint trace.
Li Zhao couldn’t help but lean forward a few centimeters, reaching out to touch the scar with his fingertips.
Then, the next moment, he gently kissed Gu Jiahe’s hair.
Gu Jiahe seemed to sense some movement, and he shrunk his head, pulling it under the covers in one swift motion, leaving only a tuft of hair exposed.
Li Zhao felt a little absent-minded. Even after all these years, he hadn’t changed this little habit of his, still liking to cover himself with the blanket when sleeping.
Early Monday morning, the snow outside finally stopped. There was a layer of ice on the window of the room. Gu Jiahe leaned against the window sill, staring at the layer of ice.
After Li Zhao finished washing up and came out of the bathroom, he saw Gu Jiahe’s back. “What are you doing?”
Gu Jiahe turned around and smiled at him, pointing to the layer of ice on the window. “A convex lens.”
Li Zhao walked over and took a look. Indeed, the layer of ice had been polished by the wind into a mirror-like surface. Looking through the ice, the trees outside appeared somewhat distorted.
“Alright, let’s go,” Li Zhao said, glancing at his watch. It was already past nine.
Gu Jiahe’s appointment with the insurance company was at ten in the morning. The two of them hurriedly left.
It was freezing cold, and there was a layer of ice on the ramp outside the hotel.
Gu Jiahe’s shoes weren’t non-slip, and as soon as he stepped out, he slipped, almost losing his balance and falling backward.
But he managed to steady himself after swaying for a moment, as Li Zhao reached out from behind to grab his waist. Gu Jiahe barely managed to stand still, patting his chest with lingering fear.
This time, Gu Jiahe didn’t politely thank Li Zhao when he turned around. He just smiled and patted Li Zhao’s shoulder.
Soon, the two of them got into a taxi to go back to the insurance company.
This insurance company wasn’t some big company with a strong background. Gu Jiahe felt lucky that this company hadn’t gone bankrupt after all these years.
However, communicating with the staff from a small company was quite challenging.
The two of them arrived at the insurance company right on time at ten o’clock. Gu Jiahe tried calling the person a couple of times but couldn’t get through.
They ended up waiting for another half an hour before the agent finally showed up.
“Are you here to retrieve the policy?” The man was wearing a poorly fitting black suit, shivering in the cold, and didn’t bother to greet them, just glancing at Gu Jiahe.
Although Gu Jiahe felt uncomfortable, he could understand from the other person’s perspective. He wasn’t their target customer, nor was he bringing them business, so he didn’t have much value to them. After all these years, having someone sacrifice their rest time to come to the company to retrieve old files like this, anyone’s attitude would be bad.
“Yes, please,” Gu Jiahe nodded quickly, thanking him profusely.
“Ah, what a hassle. It’s been so many years…” The agent shook his head and led them upstairs.
The office here was quite spacious, but there weren’t many people. The agents didn’t have to come to work regularly; only the three of them came early in the morning.
As they walked further inside, they arrived at the clerical staff’s office area.
The agent led them to a partitioned office and then leaned against the door to tell the person inside, “They’re here to retrieve the backup policy. Get it for them.”
Gu Jiahe nodded towards the person inside and handed over his ID card.
Li Zhao, seeing that everything seemed to be going smoothly, turned to the agent and asked, “Excuse me, where’s the restroom?”
The agent waved his hand in a direction, indicating where it was, and Li Zhao nodded before heading there.
Gu Jiahe spent about fifteen minutes filling out two application forms, pressing several fingerprints, and signing several names before finally retrieving the backup policy from years ago. He carefully checked the information on it, confirmed it was correct, and then thanked the clerk.
The clerk just yawned and didn’t reply, turning back to play with their phone.
Gu Jiahe awkwardly withdrew his smile and walked towards the door. He sent a WeChat message to Li Zhao, saying he was waiting for him at the door.
Gu Jiahe stood on the sidewalk outside, staring at the remaining snow on the curb, lost in thought.
But the next moment, he looked up and saw two familiar figures. “Familiar” wasn’t quite accurate; Gu Jiahe had only seen them twice, but he hadn’t forgotten their faces. It seemed that Pingcheng was indeed too small.
In less than half a minute, the two figures were less than three meters away from Gu Jiahe.
They seemed a bit surprised and stopped in their tracks, squinting to confirm Gu Jiahe’s identity.
“Uncle, Auntie, long time no see,” Gu Jiahe greeted them with a slight bow, subconsciously rubbing his cuff.
The two people in front of him were Li Zhao’s parents. The last time Gu Jiahe met them was when he went to Li Zhao’s house as a classmate.
At that time, the couple were in their prime, and they looked young and well-maintained. Now, nearly ten years had passed, and they showed signs of aging, with traces of gray in their hair.
Li Zhao’s mother glanced at Gu Jiahe, her expression stiffening for a moment, then turned and tugged on the man’s arm.
The three of them stood facing each other on the sidewalk for more than ten seconds. The atmosphere was not particularly friendly.
In the end, the couple just nodded slightly at him and brushed past him without saying a word.
As the two passed by Gu Jiahe, they brought a gust of wind. Soon, the wind dissipated without a trace.
Gu Jiahe stood still for about half a minute, not moving, just exhaling a puff of white breath. He turned to look towards the entrance, where Li Zhao had just walked out, waving at him.
When Li Zhao approached, Gu Jiahe tentatively asked, “When did you come out?”
Li Zhao looked at him. “Huh? I just came out. Why?”
Gu Jiahe shook his head, smiling. “Nothing.”
The two of them still had their luggage in the hotel lobby, so they had to go back to get it. Soon, Li Zhao hailed a taxi.
Gu Jiahe’s mind was still preoccupied with what had just happened, and he felt a little dazed until they got into the car.
The taxi drove past the protective moat of Pingcheng, and the scenery outside flashed by like slides.
Finally, Gu Jiahe spoke up, “How are your parents…”
“What’s wrong?” Li Zhao looked at him.
“Is your relationship with them still okay?”
Li Zhao nodded, then shook his head. “It’s just okay. Why are you suddenly asking about this?”
“After you told them about…,” Gu Jiahe realized the taxi driver was still sitting in front and changed his wording, “…that thing, what was their reaction?”
Li Zhao was quite candid. “They didn’t really accept it.”
“What do you think?”
“I can decide my own life. Whether they accept it or not is their problem.” Li Zhao looked out the window, and the cloudy weather seemed to be clearing up.
Gu Jiahe didn’t reply, propping his chin on his hand, staring out the window absentmindedly.
They had booked a high-speed train ticket to return to the northern city at seven in the evening.
After returning to the hotel lobby and retrieving their luggage, they realized it was not even one in the afternoon yet. They still had half a day left unplanned.
“Where do you want to go?” Li Zhao turned to ask Gu Jiahe.
Gu Jiahe thought for a moment and said, “I want to go see her.”
Li Zhao didn’t ask who “her” was and just followed Gu Jiahe out of the hotel lobby.
Instead of immediately hailing a taxi, Gu Jiahe went to a flower shop near the hotel and bought a bunch of red roses.
Carrying the bouquet, Gu Jiahe returned to the roadside and hailed a taxi. The car drove along the urban expressway for forty minutes and stopped in front of a desolate grassland.
The continuous snowfall had covered the grassland in a silver-white coat.
Li Zhao took the luggage from the taxi’s trunk and realized where they were.
It was the suburban cemetery of Pingcheng.
The weather after the snow was even colder than yesterday, but fortunately, the sun appeared without any cloud cover, shining straight down on the snowy grassland, reflecting a layer of shimmering light.
The cemetery was very quiet, with an extremely desolate view. It was rare for anyone to come to the cemetery in the afternoon.
“Let’s go.” Gu Jiahe picked up his suitcase, holding the bouquet of roses, and walked ahead.
A clean path had been trodden on the snowy ground. Gu Jiahe walked along that path all the way. After about five minutes, the two turned a corner of the cemetery, and Gu Jiahe stopped.
He turned back to Li Zhao and said, “She didn’t used to live here. She was buried in a random grave on the outskirts of the city. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I had some money and helped her get this new home.”
Snow had accumulated thickly on the tombstone, and Gu Jiahe brushed the snow off with his hand. Li Zhao saw the name on the tombstone: Qian Liyun.
In the center of the tombstone, there was a photo of a woman with clean features and her hair tied up in a high braid. Next to it was a line of black characters: Passed away on May 1, 2008.
Gu Jiahe squatted down and placed the bouquet of red roses in front of the tombstone.
“Mom, I’m here,” Gu Jiahe said only this sentence and didn’t say anything else. He reached out to wipe the photo, drying the water stains on it.
Gu Jiahe seemed very familiar with this process. He wiped the entire tombstone with the handkerchief he carried with him.
He also put away the withered bouquet that had been placed here before, throwing it into the nearby recycling bin.
Li Zhao stood behind him. After a while, he also squatted down to help clean up. Until the tombstone was cleaned spotlessly.
After finishing all this, both of them had a slight sweat on their backs.
Gu Jiahe finally stood up from in front of the tombstone and carefully looked at the photo of Qian Liyun.
Li Zhao thought he might cry, even took out two tissues from his bag, ready to hand them over. However, Gu Jiahe just looked at the photo like that, for about two minutes, before patting his pants and turning to walk back.
The moment he turned around, Li Zhao saw a hint of moisture in the corners of his eyes, but it was quickly wiped away by him.
The two walked back to the entrance of the cemetery. The sunlight became stronger, casting a golden veil over the entire snowy ground.
Gu Jiahe stood in front of Li Zhao, without turning back, but looked up at the sky for a while.
After a moment, he suddenly spoke, “Ge.”
Li Zhao looked at him when he called him that.
“I suddenly figured something out,” Gu Jiahe stood there like that, talking to himself, “I used to instinctively run back when I saw an unexplored path.”
“But now… I suddenly feel like walking on that new path. To see what fate has in store for me.”
Li Zhao’s gaze lingered on the back of his head, not responding immediately, but after a pause, he spoke, “Gu Jiahe, that day you said to me, you’re trying to mend what we had.”
After saying this, Li Zhao took a step forward, walked to the position beside him, turned his head to look at his face, and said, “But I hope, this time, you can weigh everything carefully and consider all the pros and cons.”
Gu Jiahe suddenly turned his head, somewhat puzzled by his meaning.
Li Zhao continued, “What I mean is, if you decide this time… you can’t easily regret it.”
Gu Jiahe looked directly into his eyes against the sunlight, and firmly said two words, “I know.”