Strawberry Pop Pop Pop chapter 49
The timing was wrong, and the moment was also wrong.
Han Yang couldn’t be at ease with Gu Nuan until he had completely dealt with Han Yongnian. Though knowing that Gu Nuan also liked him, he was ecstatic.
The scenes from the past were too terrifying, making it impossible for Han Yang to take any steps forward.
He wanted to say, “I’m sorry, Gu Nuan, can you wait for me a little longer? Wait until I’ve resolved the issue with Han Yongnian, wait until…”
But he couldn’t bring himself to say a single word of it.
Han Yongnian was like a time bomb, and although Han Yang had a plan, he didn’t know if this plan would work flawlessly when executed. He didn’t know if Han Yongnian would really stay put in that place until his death.
He needed some time to put his plan into action, but he was afraid that this time would make Gu Nuan grow distant from him.
So, Han Yang did many small things, such as intentionally renting a place close to Gu Nuan, giving Gu Nuan a key, and no matter how busy or tired he was, he always accompanied Gu Nuan to the hospital, letting him know that he was always by his side…
When they were younger, Han Yang had hoped that their time would be equal. But now, he wished for Gu Nuan to grow up slower, while he himself could become more independent and have the ability to protect Gu Nuan.
In addition to this, his heart was filled with many unrealistic hopes.
He wanted to be with Gu Nuan, he wanted to always be by Gu Nuan’s side.
With the closest proximity, in the most intimate way.
Once again, that thought appeared in Han Yang’s heart – “If only Han Yongnian could die sooner.”
This thought once again occupied Han Yang’s heart, especially at this moment when Gu Nuan confessed to him.
Suddenly, he felt ashamed of himself; he wasn’t any different from Han Yongnian.
Violence was a hidden similarity in their nature, and Han Yang was always suppressing himself. It was only when he had pushed Han Yongnian’s head into the water tank yesterday that his heart had calmed down a bit.
Now, he felt unworthy of Gu Nuan in the bright sunshine.
Perhaps his heart had always been “sick,” the illness stemming from self-blame and guilt, from the blood that had been shed.
In silence, Han Yang wanted to hug Gu Nuan, to kiss his forehead.
But in the end, he did nothing.
Gu Nuan looked at Han Yang, who remained silent, and his heart went from burning with passion to cooling down in just a few minutes. It was the first time he realized that being rejected by someone he liked could feel so desolate.
He envied Su Li’s successful confession and understood that his confession had never had a 100% chance of success.
He had, in fact, prepared himself for rejection.
But when faced with reality, Gu Nuan couldn’t bring himself to look directly at Han Yang. His heart was bitter, tangled, and he couldn’t find the words to say.
But Gu Nuan didn’t want to make the atmosphere too awkward, nor did he want to make Han Yang uncomfortable or hurt because of his abrupt departure.
He pursed his lips and tried to act as if he didn’t care: “It’s okay.” He forced a smile, “It’s not wrong not to like me. You don’t need to apologize… I, I never really thought I would succeed, I just wanted to tell you.”
He spoke softer and softer.
Han Yang hesitated, wanting to step closer to Gu Nuan.
But Gu Nuan took a step back, his hands trembling, as he tried to restrain the emotions that were threatening to make him cry. He couldn’t stay here any longer. So, Gu Nuan pretended to be composed, took out his phone from his pocket, and pretended to check messages, “I almost forgot, I have something to do at school today. Brother, I won’t have lunch with you today.”
Gu Nuan’s eyes turned slightly red, and he left the rental apartment. Just before leaving, he accidentally hit his forehead on the door frame, adding to his embarrassment.
Clutching his forehead in embarrassment, he didn’t cry out in pain and rushed out of the door. The sharp pain on his forehead made him entertain an unrealistic fantasy in front of the elevator: that Han Yang would come out to check if he had hurt himself.
Unfortunately, after waiting for a while, Han Yang didn’t follow him out. Gu Nuan lowered his head, feeling foolish. He let out a sigh, and then pressed the elevator button.
The winter wind was bitterly cold during the day and at night.
Gu Nuan wiped away his tears and sat quietly by a flower bed, letting his tears fall. In reality, he had nothing to do today, and he had plenty of time to daydream and cry to ease the sadness of being rejected by Han Yang.
On his phone, there was a message from Gu Yuanchen: [I got off work early today. Do you want to go with me to pick up Dad from his workplace and then go out for dinner tonight?]
Before Gu Nuan could reply, Gu Yuanchen sent another message: [I just asked Han Yang, and he said he’s busy with something. If you’re free this afternoon, you can come to my office and wait for me. I’ll buy you a strawberry cake.]
Seeing the name “Han Yang,” Gu Nuan felt a pang of sadness, and tears flowed like a dam bursting.
He replied to Gu Yuanchen while hiding the truth: [I have plans to have dinner with Su Li, so I won’t be a third wheel.]
He didn’t want to show up with red, teary eyes in front of Gu Yuanchen and Ji Mu. They would surely notice something was wrong.
Unfortunately, this appearance caught the attention of Xia Fei.
Gu Nuan didn’t know why Xia Fei kept coming to Han Yang’s place so frequently, but now that he was caught, he couldn’t bury his head in the sand like an ostrich.
Xia Fei, dressed in a long winter coat and carrying a pot of chicken soup, was shocked to see Gu Nuan crying.
Gu Nuan wiped his tears and hastily wiped his sleeve across his face.
“Xiao Nuan! Who bullied you?!” Xia Fei was instantly filled with anger, “Tell me, I will deal with them!”
Gu Nuan couldn’t speak and didn’t want to tell Xia Fei that he had been rejected after confessing his feelings. He wore a distressed expression, trying to come up with an excuse.
However, Xia Fei misunderstood and thought he had guessed correctly.
He remembered that he had messaged Han Yang in the morning, and Han Yang hadn’t replied, so he tried to comfort Gu Nuan, “Maybe he’s asleep, since I have a key, I can go open the door for you.”
Gu Nuan shook his head and added, “I have a key now too.”
“So, he really isn’t here?” Xia Fei didn’t think much of it. He was more concerned about comforting Gu Nuan, who was crying. He handed over the chicken soup he had brought, “Take this, it’s my mom’s chicken soup, it’s really delicious. Since Han Yang isn’t here, we won’t let that stinky blockhead have any.”
Gu Nuan didn’t want the chicken soup, and his long eyelashes were still wet with tears. “My brother isn’t a stinky blockhead.”
Xia Fei smacked his own mouth, “Right, your brother isn’t. I am! Come on, let me take you home. It’s freezing cold in the middle of winter, and you might catch a cold crying here.”
He gestured to his car, “I drove today. It’ll be convenient for me to give you a ride.”
Gu Nuan didn’t want to trouble Xia Fei, but Xia Fei was determined to take him home. Gu Nuan couldn’t resist Xia Fei’s enthusiasm and sniffed, feeling like he couldn’t go home just yet, after all, Aunt Xu was still at home.
“Xia Ge, how about you take me back to school instead? I have something to do.”
“Sure, we can go anywhere.”
Gu Nuan wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, and his face felt icy from the tears. He thanked Xia Fei while getting into his car.
Little did Gu Nuan know that behind him, Han Yang was standing there for a long time, wearing only indoor clothing watching them.