I can still salvage it chapter 34
Attraction
Since Pei Zhiyi’s classes ended later, most of the lights in the dormitory had already been switched off, with only occasional sounds coming from behind one or two doors.
When they returned to the dormitory, they took a shower, and it was already 10:30 PM.
Shen Mian felt a bit hungry and grabbed a box of chestnut pastries as a late-night snack, leaning against the headboard while reviewing the next day’s English vocabulary. It wasn’t because he had been particularly diligent recently, but because the teacher had mentioned that there would be a quiz during the morning self-study.
However, after a while, he lost interest and found his gaze constantly drifting towards Pei Zhiyi sitting at the desk. Pei Zhiyi was blow-drying his hair, still wearing the oversized bathrobe that Shen Mian had bought for him. The robe was an ash-gray color with a pattern of snow-capped mountains and forests. The wide collar exposed his slender and fair neck, his black hair slightly damp with a single water droplet sliding down his spine.
Shen Mian couldn’t bear to look anymore. The English vocabulary felt dull and boring compared to the half-naked handsome man blow-drying his hair in front of him.
His Adam’s apple involuntarily bobbed, and he didn’t know what he was thinking. His ears even turned slightly red.
Ever since he had become self aware, confirming his feelings for Pei Zhiyi, that innocent teenager was no longer innocent. His mind was filled with inappropriate thoughts almost half the time he was with Pei Zhiyi.
Before, when he thought that Pei Zhiyi didn’t like him, he could restrain himself. Whenever he had wild thoughts, he would scold himself, afraid of tainting his pure childhood friend.
But now that he knew Pei Zhiyi also liked him…
And had even said so many seductive words to him.
Shen Mian pursed his lips and looked down, only to find that the English textbook he was reading had coincidentally reached the word “obsessed,” with the Chinese translation next to it: “chi min” (infatuated).
He thought to himself, “This English textbook is indeed knowledgeable. Isn’t infatuated exactly how I felt about Pei Zhiyi?”
While he was lost in his thoughts, Pei Zhiyi had already finished blow-drying his hair. Seeing Shen Mian in a dazed state, he patted his head and casually took away the vocabulary book, asking, “How many words have you memorized? Let me test you by picking a few for you to recite.”
Shen Mian’s romantic thoughts dispersed halfway, feeling that the person in front of him didn’t quite resemble his dear boyfriend, but more like one of teacher Ding’s personally trained disciples.
He reluctantly recited a few vocabulary words and then refused to continue, acting stubbornly and insisting on going to sleep.
Pei Zhiyi had no way to deal with him.
However, Shen Mian still refused to sleep on his own bed. Like a slippery fish, he easily climbed onto Pei Zhiyi’s bed, sitting on his hips and confidently stating, “Brother, I want to sleep with you.”
Pei Zhiyi fell silent for a few seconds.
Unaware of it, Shen Mian’s soft and plump butt pressed against Pei Zhiyi’s waist, inching closer to his crotch area, causing Pei Zhiyi to furrow his brows involuntarily.
“This bed is too small for both of us; it’s too cramped to sleep together,” he refused Shen Mian’s request for the first time.
Shen Mian was not convinced. “But I sleep really well.”
Ignoring all that, he rolled off Pei Zhiyi’s body and snuggled up beside him, wrapping himself in the blanket like a large silkworm cocoon.
He felt a bit offended, saying, “Weren’t we sleeping on the same bed before?”
Pei Zhiyi was at a loss and frowned, pondering for two seconds before finally giving in.
Shen Mian was satisfied.
He just liked squeezing with Pei Zhiyi, surrounded by the familiar scent, with their skin pressed together, which made him feel happy.
He rubbed against Pei Zhiyi’s neck and muttered, “Brother, why are you so warm.”
Pei Zhiyi was rarely warm; but he was the one with a higher body temperature between the two at the moment.
However, Pei Zhiyi refused to answer that question, pressing his hand against Shen Mian’s back and his voice slightly hoarse. “Alright, go to sleep.”
But Shen Mian was particularly restless that night.
If it were just him being unable to sleep, it would be fine, but he kept touching and teasing Pei Zhiyi, sometimes kissing his Adam’s apple, other times playing with his earlobes. He didn’t even know what he wanted to do.
Pei Zhiyi couldn’t bear it any longer and opened his eyes, saying, “What do you want to do?”
Shen Mian’s hand, which was pinching Pei Zhiyi’s earlobe, froze.
He sheepishly retracted his hand, feeling a bit dejected.
Actually, he couldn’t really explain what he wanted to do. He just couldn’t control himself and always wanted to touch and feel Pei Zhiyi.
He liked Pei Zhiyi way too much. Even though Pei Zhiyi was right beside him, he still felt unsatisfied and wanted to kiss and touch him, wanting more from Pei Zhiyi.
But Pei Zhiyi was always so composed. Whether it was kissing him or holding him, it always stopped at a certain point. Sometimes, Shen Mian would even immerse himself in it, but Pei Zhiyi would always withdraw first.
Pei Zhiyi seemed to be clinging to the boundaries of their childhood friendship, like a reliable and steady older brother, making those intimate gestures only to comfort him. It wasn’t much different from when they were on missions before.
He didn’t doubt Pei Zhiyi’s feelings for him, but he wondered if they had been in the brotherhood for too long, and Pei Zhiyi still saw him as a younger brother.
But he was addicted and wanted to see Pei Zhiyi lose control.
Seeing Shen Mian silent and lost in thought, Pei Zhiyi reached out and pinched his cheek, asking, “Why aren’t you saying anything?”
Shen Mian snapped back to reality.
He bit his lip, looked at Pei Zhiyi with a conflicted expression, and after a while, he asked with difficulty, “Brother, am I not attractive to you at all?”
Pei Zhiyi didn’t understand, “What do you mean?”
Shen Mian felt a bit embarrassed and avoided eye contact with Pei Zhiyi, saying in a sullen tone, “I feel like you still see me as a brother. I can’t help but get close to you, kiss you, and even…”
He swallowed the more excessive words, mumbling vaguely, “even think about doing more things to you, but it seems like you never have these thoughts about me.”
The more Shen Mian said, the more he felt his own sorrow. How many people were as pitiful as him, having to ask their boyfriend if they were interested in them and found them attractive?
But he couldn’t blame Pei Zhiyi. With his broad shoulders, long legs, and eight-pack abs, Pei Zhiyi was someone anyone would like.
Meanwhile, Shen Mian, a weak and powerless person, felt a bit inadequate and unattractive.
In his sadness, Shen Mian thought maybe he should sign up for a gym membership, not only to have eight-pack abs, but at least to also make himself stronger.
After a brief moment of astonishment, Pei Zhiyi finally understood Shen Mian’s intentions.
He looked at Shen Mian’s face, filled with genuine frustration, and found himself almost laughing.
Pei Zhiyi knew how much he desired Shen Mian. Only he understood it best. When Shen Mian was fifteen and used to take a nap beside him, he at times couldn’t control his desire to possess him entirely, to make every part of Shen Mian smell like him. He could only act flirty towards him but later cry alone.
But now, Shen Mian was earnestly asking if he found him unattractive.
Pei Zhiyi felt a headache coming on.
After a moment of silence, he flipped over, propped himself up on the mattress with his arms, and pinned Shen Mian beneath him.
His gaze was heavy as he stared at Shen Mian and said, “Have you ever considered that I’ve never gone too far with you, not because I didn’t want to, but because I was afraid of scaring you?”
Shen Mian didn’t understand what he meant and blinked innocently at Pei Zhiyi, like a spoiled little puppy who didn’t know how to avoid danger.
But the next second, he was kissed by Pei Zhiyi.
Pei Zhiyi’s hand held his jaw, forcing his mouth open to endure the intrusion.
He was wearing the same bathrobe as Pei Zhiyi that night and felt comfortable in it…
With his slender and well-defined hands, Pei Zhiyi lifted the hem of the rob, pinched Shen Mian’s fair and delicate thigh, exerting some force, making the pale skin turn red.
Shen Mian gasped in cold air but was silenced by Pei Zhiyi’s bite on his lip, unable to make a sound, only a muffled and seductive whimper.
He could feel Pei Zhiyi’s hands exploring his body, from the inner thigh to the hips, waistline, and then gradually moving upward, stopping at a certain point on his chest, giving it a firm squeeze before gently caressing it as if to console.
Shen Mian felt the pain and his moans grew softer.
Their bodies rubbed against each other, the fabric of their bathrobes separating their skins, the warmth of their flesh and the slightly rough fabric amplifying in Shen Mian’s mind, making him unable to resist the urge to moan softly, his waist becoming weak like water, collapsing and sinking into the soft bed, yet involuntarily responding to Pei Zhiyi.
Shen Mian sensibly felt something pressing against his thigh, hard and hot.
His face instantly turned red.
Because a certain part of him also seemed to have become erect as well.
And at the right moment, Pei Zhiyi released his lips and sat up to look at him for a while.
His gaze was far from the usual cold and composed, even showing a hint of madness, as if considering where to start in order to devour him whole.
Shen Mian’s gaze immediately became pitiful.
He didn’t know why, but he felt that the current Pei Zhiyi was a bit dangerous, so he had better behave and not accidentally ignite Pei Zhiyi’s anger.
His plea for mercy was very effective.
Pei Zhiyi closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, he seemed to have regained a trace of sanity.
But his hand went down again and grabbed Shen Mian’s still erect crotch.
“Mian Mian, do you like it when I touch you?”
As if Shen Mian was not embarrassed enough, Pei Zhiyi asked the question close to his ear.
Shen Mian was on the verge of tears, but he couldn’t refuse. He could only bite his lip as he remained silent.
But that was extremely difficult for him. Pei Zhiyi’s skills were exceptional. His fingers slightly grazed Shen Mian’s tip several times, teasing him without giving him the ultimate release.
It made him feel like a fish stranded on the shore, his head dizzy from lack of oxygen, no matter how he breathed, it felt insufficient.
After an unknown amount of time, Shen Mian moaned and released, dirtying Pei Zhiyi’s hand.
His temples were wet with sweat, and he lay absentmindedly on the pillow, gasping for breath. His robe had completely fallen apart, revealing a snow-white and slender body, flawless like jade, but flushed with a peach-like blush.
He had no strength left, even though it was Pei Zhiyi who was pleasing him. He felt exhausted like he had just finished a marathon. But at least he remembered that he had dirtied Pei Zhiyi and frantically tried to grab tissue paper to clean him up.
However, Pei Zhiyi shook his head gently, raised his hand, and licked off what remained of Shen Mian on his hand.
Shen Mian’s mind exploded, as if a bomb had gone off.
Pei Zhiyi naturally had a cold and indifferent face, as if he didn’t care about anything. Many girls at school had a secret crush on him, but very few dared to confess because they knew they would be rejected, so it wasn’t worth trying.
But now, this unattainable flower in other people’s eyes had been defiled by him.
Thoroughly, inside and out.
Shen Mian was dumbfounded, like a startled deer that had realized it had gone too far, staring at Pei Zhiyi in a daze.
The room was very quiet, with only the uncontrollable sound of heavy breathing.
Shen Mian couldn’t bear that tense atmosphere and wanted to cover his eyes with his hands.
But Pei Zhiyi caught his hand.
He brought Shen Mian’s hand to his lips and gently kissed it.
His gaze was like a stormy sea, containing turbulent waves.
He said, “Mian Mian, now you can guess how attractive you really are to me .”
He sucked on Shen Mian’s fingertips and even seemed a bit lazy, jokingly asking, “Guess what I want to do to you now?”
Shen Mian dared not guess.
He was like a quail that finally realized it had gone too far, shrinking into Pei Zhiyi’s arms, not daring to utter a word.
Fortunately, Pei Zhiyi didn’t really want to force him.
As if suppressing his own restlessness, Pei Zhiyi lightly bit Shen’s fingertips, applying some force and leaving a round tooth mark.
Then he let go of Shen Mian, opened his robe, and got out of bed, preparing to go to the bathroom.
Shen Mian grabbed Pei Zhiyi’s robe and propped up his weak upper body. His face was so red it could drip blood, but he still endured the shame and said to Pei Zhiyi “I… I can help you too…”
Based on the principle of reciprocity, he felt obligated to help please Pei Zhiyi.
But when he saw Pei Zhiyi turning around and removing his hand, there was a forced calmness in his voice.
“It’s better for you not to touch me now, or you might have to take a leave of absence tomorrow.”
Shen Mian was taken aback, as if he had burned his fingers, and quickly let go of Pei Zhiyi’s clothes.