Lack of love chapter 45
Impossible (Li Qi x Lian Sijiao)
Extra 09
The heavy rain continued until evening without stopping, making it impossible for Lian Sijiao to drive Li Qi away.
“You should rest now, right?” Li Qi looked at the clock on the wall, which showed it was half-past five in the evening. At this time, if Lian Sijiao didn’t have any customers, he would start packing up. Lian Sijiao’s studio was semi-open, with a floor-to-ceiling glass window facing the street, offering a glimpse of the interior while maintaining privacy. While waiting outside, Li Qi sometimes caught a glimpse of Lian Sijiao’s figure moving inside the house, which made the long and boring wait seem less dull.
Lian Sijiao knew he would say that, as he must have figured out his work schedule. He also knew that Li Qi was intentionally or unintentionally revealing this information, trying to soften his heart.
Li Qi was a proactive person. Once he set a goal, he would wholeheartedly pursue it.
Although Lian Sijiao said on the surface that it was up to him, he knew deep down that as long as he didn’t respond, Li Qi couldn’t do much. But he couldn’t help but wonder how he spent several hours here, from 8:30 in the morning until after five in the evening, passing the time in such a boring situation.
He agreed and made up his mind to drive Li Qi away: “Yes. So, you should also go back.”
Li Qi smiled, revealing a hint of awkwardness in his smile.
Lian Sijiao knew he shouldn’t ask, but he still asked, “Where are you staying?”
Li Qi said, “I worked late this week and didn’t have time to book a hotel… and with the heavy rain, nearby hotels are all fully booked.”
Lian Sijiao frowned at him for a moment before saying, “I won’t let you stay at my place.”
“I know.” Even though he knew Lian Sijiao wouldn’t easily agree, Li Qi still felt a little disappointed. “Then I’ll leave…”
“Where are you going?”
“Back home.”
“Did you come here by car?”
“Yes.”
Lian Sijiao thought about how Li Qi had come early in the morning and would now have to endure the rain to go back. It made him feel a bit uncomfortable. However, he deliberately acted as if he didn’t care and said what he didn’t really mean: “Then don’t come tomorrow.”
“That’s not possible.” Li Qi firmly refused, “You said it’s up to me, so you have to give me a chance…”
Lian Sijiao didn’t say anything more, and Li Qi didn’t insist. He left wearing Lian Sijiao’s clothes and borrowed an umbrella from him.
The sky had already darkened, and Lian Sijiao stood at the door, watching Li Qi’s figure walking in the rain gradually blur until it disappeared.
He turned off the lights in the studio and walked into the heavy rain, holding the umbrella. It only took a short ten-minute walk from the studio to his home, but even with the umbrella, he still got drenched. He couldn’t help but think that Li Qi would have to drive for hours in wet clothes just to get home and take a hot shower. He sighed and entered the bathroom to take a shower, trying not to let his mind wander.
The heavy rain stopped in the middle of the night, and the next day was sunny.
When Lian Sijiao went to work, he saw Li Qi at the entrance of the studio.
Probably due to lack of sleep, Li Qi’s complexion looked a bit pale. When he saw Lian Sijiao approaching, he said, “The clothes I borrowed from you haven’t dried yet. I’ll return them to you next week.”
Lian Sijiao had already persuaded him twice, and now he was too lazy to convince Li Qi again. He just didn’t want Li Qi to do something stupid, but it didn’t mean he was genuinely indifferent: “You don’t look well. Do you want to come in and rest for a while?”
Li Qi seemed pleasantly surprised by the offer.
“Don’t misunderstand, I just don’t want you to get sick. Otherwise, it would become my problem. There’s a room on the second floor for resting; you can use it as you like. But I’m very busy today and don’t have the energy to entertain you. When there are customers around, you can’t disturb me. Even if you overhear something you shouldn’t, you can’t talk about it…”
“I understand.” Since he had this opportunity, how could Li Qi let it go?
He followed Lian Sijiao into the house and went upstairs to the resting room. It was evident that the room was rarely used, but it was kept very clean. After he showed him around, Lian Sijiao went downstairs to work.
Lian Sijiao was working differently than usual, with a much softer tone and a more gentle voice. Most of his clients were women, with occasional men. Lian Sijiao would adjust his way of speaking based on the client’s personality.Li Qi listened intently and suddenly remembered that he had asked Lian Sijiao before why he chose to study this profession. He felt that people in this line of work, who dealt with negative and pessimistic emotions, were many. Without passion, patience, and compassion, it would be difficult to persevere. But this was different from his perception of Lian Sijiao, and this contrast gave him a mysterious aura and charm.
What was Lian Sijiao’s response at the time?
Right, Lian Sijiao said that he was actually saving himself. Everyone has varying degrees of psychological issues, and when emotions cannot be released, they accumulate and become a burden. These individuals may not necessarily need to see a doctor, but having the impulse to vent their frustrations is simply seeking psychological comfort. He didn’t deny that he was the same way; he didn’t just want to help others, he also wanted to help himself.
Li Qi knew very little about Lian Sijiao’s family matters, and Lian Sijiao didn’t disclose much either, but he knew what he needed to know—both of his parents had cheated on each other.
Li Qi forgot how he reacted when he learned about this. It seemed like he didn’t care? But that was because he had confidence that he wouldn’t become that kind of person. However, he was still too young back then, just graduating from school and entering a good company. He always believed there was no problem he couldn’t overcome. So he almost subconsciously ignored Lian Sijiao’s unease, despite his repeated assurances of love. But it seemed that Lian Sijiao didn’t really believe it; he always thought Li Qi was a bit frivolous and couldn’t maintain an appropriate distance with others. He was probably a bit fed up, so he stopped talking about it later, and their relationship gradually began to crack.
Until now, Li Qi slowly understood that all Lian Sijiao wanted was a sense of security, simply someone to protect him. Such a simple thing, and yet he couldn’t provide it to him at the beginning.
If they had communicated well from the beginning, perhaps things wouldn’t have come to this.
But fortunately, it wasn’t too late. From the moment Lian Sijiao dragged him into the house from the heavy rain, he knew that this person was just tough on the outside but soft-hearted…
Li Qi closed his eyes and fell asleep while deep in thought.
During the lunch break, Lian Sijiao went upstairs. He originally wanted to ask Li Qi what he wanted to eat, but he saw him sleeping with a blanket. He stood there for a while and noticed the dark circles under Li Qi’s eyes, so he decided not to wake him. Lian Sijiao took the initiative to order takeout and left a meal box on the table on the second floor, ready for Li Qi to eat when he woke up.
Time passed quickly when they were busy.
Lian Sijiao felt that his work state was good that day, and he felt calm inside, no longer as restless as in the previous weeks. He was a mental health professional, and he couldn’t deceive himself. With Li Qi here, he seemed to feel a bit more at ease.
In the evening, Li Qi finally came downstairs. He looked much better after the nap, but his complexion was still a bit pale, probably due to staying up late.
Lian Sijiao recalled that Li Qi had always been busy with work, and he was a highly valued employee in the company. After Li Qi completed his studies and returned to the country, the company probably wouldn’t easily let him go. He originally wanted to remind him to take care of his health, but he decided against it. Being overly concerned might give Li Qi the wrong impression .
In another three weeks at most, he would have to leave. He couldn’t give Li Qi hope and then ruthlessly shatter it. He couldn’t do it.