Blinded by Lust chapter 17

The sailor who spoke thought he was speaking quietly, but their voices, accustomed to rough work, were loud, so Tan Yi, who had just turned the corner, heard every word.

Tan Yi resisted the urge to look back at Wu Bie’s expression. He indeed was gay, and his orientation was apparent to others at a glance. Just like those sailors said, he wasn’t manly enough; he spoke softly and was effeminate. He couldn’t mingle with the rough crowd on the ship.

But he wasn’t as bad as they made him out to be. His initial reason for boarding the ship was simply to make money. Yet, the way they spoke made it sound like he came onto the ship just for the men. He couldn’t ignore this kind of exclusion and ridicule, so he instinctively leaned closer to Wu Bie, who had shown him some kindness and was someone he could talk to on the ship.

He admitted he did have some feelings for Wu Bie, but these feelings were vague and, at least for now, beautiful. He didn’t want to ruin this by letting idle gossip push Wu Bie away.

“Got nothing better to do?” Wu Bie was fed up with the word “homosexual” and didn’t even want to mention it. Acting impatient, he drove the crowd away, “The ship’s about to leave the port, and you’re still standing here? Seems like you don’t have enough to do.”

As soon as they heard this, everyone dispersed immediately, no longer caring whether Tan Yi was gay or not.

As things got busy, time flew by. Wu Bie stole some free moments amidst the rush to take a few photos and send them to Zhanyan. Seeing the sun setting over Cherbourg, Wu Bie reminded Zhanyan to rest early.

“Go to bed early tonight. The ship is setting off soon. I’ll message you when we arrive.”

Shortly after sending the message, Wu Bie heard the anchor chain and the horn. He pocketed his phone and jogged towards the bow.

That night, Wu Bie wasn’t steering; a colleague was on duty. Following the principle of not leaving the post even if there was nothing to do, he settled into a sofa nearby. Several times, he pulled out his phone, tempted to check if Zhanyan had messaged him, but he restrained himself. Not only was he afraid he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else if he saw a message from Zhanyan, but he also worried about disturbing her rest.

“Wu Bie, still not dating anyone?”

The one speaking was a former colleague from Wu Bie’s previous job, who was over ten years older than him, making Wu Bie have to call him “Ge.”

Most of their old friends and colleagues were married by now. Some were even already dealing with their children’s antics.

The older colleague opened up, “It seems only you and Chen Xian are still single. Even Chen Xian got married and divorced. You’ve never even been married; you should hurry up!”

For some reason, when he heard this, an image of Zhanyan appeared in Wu Bie’s mind. Having been single for so long, his desire to date and get married surpassed that of most people.

“How about I ask my wife to introduce someone to you?”

Wu Bie quickly sat up, “No, no, no!”

The older colleague thought Wu Bie was resisting blind dates and quickly started listing the benefits of having a partner. “Don’t be so quick to refuse! Look, if you have someone, when the ship docks, you’ll have someone to call. There’ll be someone to think about. And when you’re out and about, you can feel more at ease knowing your wife is helping to watch over things back home.”

Wu Bie leaned back on the sofa, fantasizing. If he and Zhanyan got married, they wouldn’t think about having kids just yet—Zhanyan was still young. He would take her out for a trip first, yes, and help her heal her legs. That poor girl must have felt cooped up in the hospital. Once she could stand, he would take her out to have some fun.

“What are you thinking about?” The older colleague had been talking for a while without any response from Wu Bie. When he turned around, Wu Bie was lying back on the sofa with a shy yet content expression, clearly daydreaming about something nice.

Caught in the act of daydreaming, Wu Bie awkwardly rubbed his face and licked his lips, making several nervous gestures in quick succession.

“Nothing.”

“You didn’t hear what I just said?”

Wu Bie stood up and paced back and forth in the control room. “I don’t want to.”

“Don’t be so quick to refuse! You haven’t even met the girl.”

How could he not refuse quickly? What if Zhanyan found out and misunderstood? He wasn’t the type to look at other women when he already had feelings for someone. Wu Bie was very committed.

Afraid someone might sway his determination, he noticed they were nearing the shore and called someone to take over his shift. He then sneaked out of the cabin.

The two ports in Cherbourg weren’t far from each other, but their ship was large, so it took longer.

From a distance, the port’s streetlights could be seen, dim and yellow, with a swarm of mayflies gathered under them. Wu Bie had his hands in his pockets as he walked step by step toward the stern of the ship. He looked around the chairs, found the best spot with a good view, and sat down. He took out his phone, glanced at the time, and found it just right for when the ship would dock.

As the ship got closer to shore, the sound of the horn grew louder. The crew on duty were already in position next to the anchor chain. Wu Bie couldn’t help but yawn and then took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, lighting one for himself.

The nicotine stimulated his nerves, and he became much more awake. As soon as the ship docked, the deck, which had been somewhat noisy, gradually quieted down.

Wu Bie held the cigarette in his mouth, checking the time on his phone every second. He wanted Zhanyan to sleep a little longer but didn’t want her to miss the sunrise in the morning.

The sea breeze blew gently, causing ripples to form on the calm sea surface, shimmering under the dim, yellow light.

Wu Bie stared blankly at the distant horizon. It was pitch black, and the sunrise was still a long way off.

A “ding” sound rang out—the notification sound for a WeChat video call request. Zhanyan’s name made Wu Bie’s hand tremble, causing ash from his cigarette to fall all over. He was both surprised and delighted as he quickly answered the video call.

When Zhanyan’s face appeared on the phone screen, Wu Bie’s drowsiness was almost entirely gone. However, being his mischievous self, he had to feign a serious tone to question Zhanyan.

“Didn’t you say you’d wait for me to call you? I told you to sleep well.”

Zhanyan’s eyes were more muddled than usual. Her black hair was slightly messy, clearly just having woken up. When she spoke, her voice was sticky and slow. “I guessed that you’d call me at a specific time, so I set an alarm. I woke up to keep you company. Actually, it’s already light here.”

As if afraid Wu Bie wouldn’t believe her, Zhanyan switched her phone to the rear camera, aiming it at the window. The lace curtains were illuminated, appearing gray and white—it was indeed already morning.

“I wanted to wait with you.”

At this quiet, tranquil time with no one around, Wu Bie, holding the cigarette in his mouth, was somewhat lost in thought. When Zhanyan switched back to the front camera, through the wispy white smoke, he saw Zhanyan’s blurred face. At that moment, she seemed so beautiful it felt almost unreal.

Wu Bie raised his hand, trying to touch the person on the screen, but his fingertip only touched the warm phone screen. His desire to see Zhanyan grew increasingly urgent.

“What’s wrong?” Zhanyan asked tentatively.

Wu Bie seemed different from usual. Normally, he talked a lot, always teasing her with a playful smile. But now, why did he suddenly become so serious?

Huo Zhanyan had just woken up. Worried that he wasn’t in the best state, the wig was a bit disheveled. Afraid that Wu Bie might notice something was off, he hid half of his face under the blanket, showing only his eyes as he looked at Wu Bie.

Wu Bie just smiled, his tone uncharacteristically gentle as he said, “Nothing.”

Zhanyan felt something heavy drop in her chest. She was usually the one teasing Wu Bie, so she knew exactly what this feeling meant. The vague expression and hesitant tone weren’t about saying something specific; it was just a desire to call out the other person’s name.

“There are still stars. Want to see them?”

The camera suddenly shook. Wu Bie stood up. From this angle, Huo Zhanyan could just see his chin and Adam’s apple.

From the first moment he saw Wu Bie, he was captivated by his presence. On video, his raw, untamed masculinity was irresistible to him—every look, every breath had a deadly allure.

The camera shook violently until Wu Bie reached the railing. He turned the phone’s camera to the sky.

From such a distance, even the streetlights weren’t very visible. Other than darkness, nothing could be seen.

But when Wu Bie asked if Zhanyan could see anything, she still lied, eyes wide open, “I can see.”

Wu Bie leaned close to the camera, revealing his smooth forehead and bright eyes. When his gaze met Zhanyan’s, she smiled even more brightly.

“Can you really see?”

“I can,” Zhanyan said with utmost sincerity.

Wu Bie’s eyes crinkled with a smile, “Is it beautiful?”

Wu Bie’s face, enlarged, took up most of the screen, and Huo Zhanyan’s gaze never left his face.

“It’s beautiful.”

Wu Bie chuckled. If Zhanyan was trying to make him happy, she was doing a good job; her eyes were fixed on him while saying it was beautiful. But if she were serious, her gaze would have shifted skyward.

“Wu Bie.”

“Huh?” Wu Bie was in an awkward, uncomfortable position and was trying to find a more comfortable one. He didn’t pay much attention to Zhanyan calling his full name.

“I don’t want to look at the stars anymore.” Zhanyan paused for a moment, not giving Wu Bie time to react, “I want to look at you.”

They had only been apart for a few hours, but Huo Zhanyan was eager to make up for those lost hours.

The cigarette between his fingers burned to the end. Wu Bie felt a slight burning sensation. He instinctively let go, and the cigarette butt fell to his feet. The flying ash sprinkled on the back of his feet, burning hot, but he had no time to care.

He wanted to switch the camera back like usual and playfully ask Zhan Yan, “Do you miss me that much?” But he couldn’t bring himself to say it, nor did he have the courage to switch the camera.

His heart was pounding wildly. He thought he must look ridiculous right now. He felt so useless, completely flustered by a single sentence from a nineteen-year-old girl.

The sea breeze blew against Wu Bie’s body, numbing his senses. He moved his tongue that didn’t feel quite right, his mouth devoid of taste, unable to speak. Both his taste and hearing were much duller than usual.

He thought he was done for.