Difficult to Complete chapter 22

For the rest of the afternoon, whenever Shen Qi stopped working, his mind was filled with the image of Gu Yan in the meeting room, scolding his subordinate. He was fierce, strong, but also… very sexy.

Shen Qi didn’t know why he thought of that word. Clearly, that awkward, stifling scene had nothing to do with sexiness. But he just found Gu Yan like that to be very sexy. It was an inexplicable, irrational feeling.

Then he started to regret, wondering why he ever thought he could stop loving Gu Yan. Clearly, even when that person was frowning and being all fierce, he still found him sexy and good-looking, wanting to go up and steal a kiss.

But perhaps that’s just how people are, taking things for granted when they have them, only realizing their value once they’ve lost them.

Unfortunately, it was too late.

After work, they ran into each other in the elevator again. The advantage of having offices on the same floor was evident at times like this—no matter how much Gu Yan didn’t want to see him, they were inevitably bound to cross paths.

Shen Qi got into the elevator first, and Gu Yan came in just as the doors were about to close. Seeing Shen Qi, his expression didn’t change. He casually greeted the other colleagues in the elevator and then stood by the door, staring down at his phone as if he was messaging someone.

Shen Qi stood slightly behind him, unmoving, staring intently at his back. Whatever the person on the other end of the phone said, it made Gu Yan’s lips curl up slightly, but the smile quickly faded as he inadvertently caught sight of Shen Qi’s reflection in the elevator door.

When did someone else become the one to make Gu Yan smile, while he became nothing more than an embarrassing, unsightly mosquito bloodstain on Gu Yan’s heart?

With so many people in the elevator and little air, Shen Qi felt a bit suffocated and unconsciously clenched his fists.

Ding—

The elevator finally reached the underground parking lot. Shen Qi didn’t bother saying goodbye to his colleagues and quickly squeezed out: “Sorry, excuse me, sorry…”

Everyone wanted to get out of the elevator as soon as possible, but with so many people inside, there had to be an order. Naturally, Shen Qi’s behavior annoyed many:

“What’s with this guy? In such a rush to reincarnate?”

“Does he have any manners, pushing like that? Is he really that short on time?”

Zhang Yang, the colleague who had had braised lion’s head at lunch with Shen Qi, happened to be in the same elevator. Seeing this, he quickly apologized to everyone:

“Hey, sorry, everyone, I apologize on his behalf. He’s my colleague, something urgent came up at home, and he’s really anxious, so please be understanding…”

Many in the elevator were from the same company, so they weren’t going to make a fuss over something so trivial:

“Forget it, it’s not a big deal.” “It’s fine, anyone could have an emergency at home. From the looks of it, I hope it’s not something serious like a sick child…”

“Thanks, everyone, thanks for understanding…” Zhang Yang smiled apologetically and moved aside to let others go first.

His companion, who stayed behind with him, whispered, “Hey, what’s up with Shen Qi today? He seems distracted all day, kind of strange.”

“I don’t know, maybe something really did happen at home…” Zhang Yang wasn’t interested in prying into others’ private matters and replied casually.

Gu Yan, who was walking ahead of them, looked up from his phone when he heard this, frowning as he stared at Shen Qi’s quickly disappearing figure.”

…..

On Friday, Gu Yan went to the break room to make coffee, only to find that the coffee bag in the storage compartment was almost empty, not enough for a full cup.

He hesitated for a moment between brewing the little bit left or just drinking some hot water, and ultimately decided on the latter.

As he was about to put the coffee back and call the procurement department to let them know, he noticed that behind the coffee bag was another bag of coffee beans.

It was a relatively niche brand, but one that Gu Yan particularly liked, and he always kept it stocked at home.

Gu Yan took down the bag of coffee beans and found that the beans had already been ground, ready to be brewed.

However, he didn’t think this was purchased by the procurement department. Over the years, the procurement department had only bought a few types of coffee powder, either instant three-in-one or two-in-one, and a niche brand like this one would never be part of their procurement range.

Let alone that someone had carefully ground the beans for them.

Gu Yan, holding the coffee bag, already had a suspicion in his mind.

At that moment, someone else came into the break room. Feeling it, Gu Yan instinctively turned around—and the person who entered was exactly who he had been thinking about: Shen Qi.

The first time he tried this coffee bean was because of Shen Qi.

It was the second year after they started working. Shen Qi went on a business trip with a leader to a certain country. The city they visited was known for its coffee beans. Shen Qi, having finally traveled abroad, bought nothing else but a box full of various brands and flavors of coffee beans.

But Shen Qi himself didn’t have any particular fondness for coffee; he bought them just because Gu Yan loved to drink it.

Because of this gesture, Gu Yan was so delighted that he pressed Shen Qi onto the sofa and kissed him until they were both nearly breathless. After taking a shower that evening, he even scattered the coffee beans over Shen Qi…

Later, he carried Shen Qi to the bathroom for a shower, and as the hot water poured down, Shen Qi exuded a rich coffee aroma. Gu Yan couldn’t help himself and went for it again…

The next day, Shen Qi was lying in bed, unable to get up, cursing Gu Yan with red eyes for being “ungrateful.”

The bag of coffee beans he had casually used became Gu Yan’s favorite, as every time he brewed coffee with it, it reminded him of that night with Shen Qi’s red eyes and the coffee-scented bathroom.

Gu Yan threw the coffee bag back on the shelf and turned to get a cup of hot water. As he was about to leave, Shen Qi called out from behind, “Why, why aren’t you drinking it?”

Gu Yan coldly replied, “I don’t want to drink it.”

He felt that his tone was already quite clear, yet Shen Qi still didn’t take the hint and stubbornly said, “How about I make it for you and bring it to you?”

Gu Yan’s tone grew even more impatient. “Don’t bother.”

“It’s not a bother! Anyway… anyway, I want to drink it too,” Shen Qi said.

Gu Yan glanced back at him. He remembered that Shen Qi didn’t like this brand of coffee, complaining about its sour taste.

“Is that okay?” Shen Qi asked, looking at him.

His timid and cautious demeanor made Gu Yan feel inexplicably irritated.

He wanted to say, haven’t I made myself clear enough? Who are you putting on a show for? What are you trying to deceive me with now? Or do you think I’ll soften up and be foolish enough to be deceived by you a second time?

Absolutely not.

“Do as you please.” He had no intention of engaging further, and after saying this, he walked out of the break room without looking back.

The coffee in the storage compartment was indeed placed there by Shen Qi. He had actually wanted to bring it over a year ago. Gu Yan loved coffee and was quite particular about its taste, but the break room coffee was mostly instant, and he was afraid Gu Yan might not like it.

Later, when the coffee beans were ground and bagged, he hesitated again—Gu Yan had been drinking these coffees since his internship; how could there be any question of whether he would like it or not?

It seemed a bit redundant, and Gu Yan might not appreciate his gesture.

But after the New Year, he had a sudden realization and decided to give Gu Yan the best he could offer, putting all his attention on Gu Yan. Since Gu Yan used to pamper him, now it was his turn to treat Gu Yan well. If Gu Yan refused to believe him, he would do his best to show that he was serious.

But Shen Qi never expected that Gu Yan was already so tired of him that he wouldn’t even drink the coffee he brought.

Previously, when he made this coffee for Gu Yan, Gu Yan would habitually take a sip, cling to him, and then pass the coffee in his mouth to Shen Qi’s, whispering:

“I’ll love this brand of coffee even when I’m old, and I want you to make it for me.”

When Shen Qi walked into the design department with the freshly brewed coffee, it unsurprisingly attracted a lot of attention, not to mention that he later boldly knocked on Director Gu’s office door.

Shen Qi was actually quite nervous, his palms sweating. He deliberately kept a wooden expression to hide his emotions and nodded to everyone in the design department as he walked through. — It was only polite to acknowledge everyone since he was intruding on their turf.

Knock, knock, knock.

After a few knocks, Gu Yan’s voice came from inside the office: “Come in.”

He must have thought Shen Qi was one of his subordinates. The voice wasn’t the gentle, affectionate tone Gu Yan used with him before, nor was it the current cold and rejecting tone, but rather a professional and distant calmness.

Shen Qi carefully pushed the door open, and their gazes immediately met. Gu Yan was momentarily stunned, put down his pen, and his fingers intertwined, resting on the desk.

The gesture was very clear: it was a rejection, an unwelcoming gesture.

“Why are you—” He probably intended to ask Shen Qi why he was there, but his gaze quickly fell on the steaming cup of coffee in Shen Qi’s hand. Realizing the context from their earlier conversation in the tea room, he stopped himself from asking further.

Shen Qi pretended not to see the defensiveness and rejection on his face. He walked over and placed the coffee he was holding on the desk, trying to control his emotions as he said:

“I came to bring you coffee.”

Gu Yan nodded slightly, “Hmm,” but didn’t touch the coffee. Instead, he picked up his pen again and began reviewing the documents on his desk.

A few minutes later, he looked up again, pinching his brow with his thumb and index finger as if feeling somewhat helpless and impatient. He asked Shen Qi:

“What exactly do you want to do?”

After delivering the coffee, Shen Qi hadn’t left; he just stood silently by Gu Yan’s desk, watching him. Gu Yan wanted to pretend the other person wasn’t there, but Shen Qi’s gaze was so intense that he couldn’t ignore it.

“I just…” Just thought that your serious working look was so captivating that I couldn’t bear to leave, wanting to take a few more glances.

After all, it would probably be hard to get another chance to come into this office today.

But such words seemed too cheesy and pretentious for Shen Qi to say out loud.

Gu Yan sighed, leaned back slightly in his chair, and finally shifted his gaze from the documents to Shen Qi. He looked at Shen Qi with half-closed eyes, his expression darkening:

“Shen Qi, please leave.”

“And don’t do unnecessary things in the future. If coffee or tea leaves are used up, the procurement department will replenish them. There’s no need for employees to spend their own money on these things.”

Shen Qi placed his hand on the desk: “I…” He wanted to defend himself, to say that the things I do for you shouldn’t be considered unnecessary.

But in the end, he just forced a smile and said:

“Gu Yan, you can remain friends with people you used to date. Why do you have such hostility toward me? Don’t say you don’t—I can feel it. You’re just annoyed and don’t want to see me.”

“But why, Gu Yan? Why can’t we be friends? Is it because you still love me?”

Heavy ailments require strong medicine. Although Gu Yan and Shen Qi had only recently broken up, many things had accumulated in their hearts over the years, becoming rotten and needing to be cut away with powerful treatment.

The office wasn’t a good place to discuss personal feelings, but Gu Yan’s coldness had provoked him, making him step closer and stare at Gu Yan.

He had never spoken to Gu Yan in such a forceful tone before. In front of Gu Yan, he was always gentle and kind.

Gu Yan’s face was already quite grim. Originally, one was sitting and the other standing, so he had to look up at Shen Qi from a slightly lower position. But now he too stood up, using his height advantage to look down at Shen Qi.

If he had tried to maintain their dignity before, that pretense was now stripped away:

“I don’t know if you’ve heard this phrase, though it sounds a bit cheesy, I think it makes sense.”

He paused slightly and said, “That is, people who have truly loved each other can’t be friends.”

“Shen Qi, I once truly loved you…”