Blazing fire is hard to extinguish chapter 42

 Confession

“Why did you come back?”

Lin Chi and Li Tingyan returned indoors, Lin Chi’s lips were red, perhaps from the wind outside, and he sneezed.

Li Tingyan adjusted the room temperature a bit higher.

Actually, Lin Chi was just asking for the sake of it.

Li Tingyan had said the day before that he would come back to celebrate the New Year with him. It was clear that he returned home right at the start of the New Year, and only a fool wouldn’t understand the meaning behind it.

Lin Chi sat cross-legged on the sofa, drinking ginger tea that was sent from the kitchen, smiling as he teased Li Tingyan, “Why did you come over in the middle of the night? Isn’t it a hassle? Don’t you have to entertain relatives at your grandfather’s tomorrow?”

Li Tingyan glanced at him.

He really did need to rush back tomorrow.

He loosened his tie, as if he was serious, and calmly asked, “So, should I go back? The old house really does need me to be there, and there are several visitors coming tomorrow.”

Lin Chi immediately widened his eyes.

Li Tingyan chuckled softly again.

But he had indeed carved out time from his schedule. Before six in the morning, he had to rush back to the old house.

He was purely coming back to spend time with Lin Chi.

So, he rolled up his sleeves, “Let the kitchen prepare some late-night snacks for me. I didn’t eat much at the New Year’s Eve dinner and I’m a bit hungry now.”

The kitchen naturally had late-night snacks prepared, though they were originally meant for Lin Chi.

Li Tingyan’s appetite was also modest; he only ordered a bowl of chicken broth wontons with a few small side dishes.

Lin Chi also ate a few of them, not ordering a separate portion but simply taking from Li Tingyan’s bowl.

He ate one after another, biting the end of his chopsticks while his eyes remained fixed on a plate of mushroom and truffle thin-crust pizza.

Li Tingyan found him cute and leisurely took a sip of matsutake soup.

Lin Chi picked at the peanuts on his plate and asked Li Tingyan, “Doesn’t your family mind you going out in the middle of the night?”

He raised an eyebrow, scrutinizing Li Tingyan.

It wasn’t that he was overly sensitive, but if his own grandson couldn’t stay during New Year’s Day and had to drive back in the middle of the night to see a hidden lover at home… he would definitely want to see which fox spirit it was.

Lin Chi imagined it for a moment, and he felt like he couldn’t eat the peanuts anymore.

“They don’t know.”

Li Tingyan, with lowered eyes, said nonchalantly, “I left only after midnight. The security guards won’t say anything, and as long as I return before morning, it’s fine.”

Lin Chi’s eyebrows twitched again.

If that’s the case, it seemed more like he was hiding a lover in a golden house.

He couldn’t help but smile.

“What’s so funny?” Li Tingyan asked, looking at him.

Lin Chi just shook his head.

He had just asked for a bottle of beer, and without pouring it into a glass, he simply held the bottle and drank.

Seeing Li Tingyan looking at him, he shook the bottle and asked, “Want some?”

Under the light, Lin Chi’s lips were slightly swollen, still smeared with alcohol, making them look particularly moist.

Drinking beer at midnight didn’t match Li Tingyan’s usual lifestyle.

But after thinking for a few seconds, he reached out and covered Lin Chi’s hand, drinking a sip from his beer bottle.

He looked up at Lin Chi, his eyes gathering tiny flecks of light under the lamp.

Their fingers were intertwined, and Lin Chi’s hand could easily touch the palm of Li Tingyan’s hand with a slight movement.

They locked eyes.

No one spoke, but the atmosphere in the living room seemed to grow tense.

With a bang, the remaining half of the beer bottle fell to the floor, and the malty beer spilled onto the floor.

Lin Chi sat on the table, forcefully lifting Li Tingyan’s chin, and leaned down to kiss him.

Sometimes, Lin Chi and Li Tingyan would vie for control.

Lin Chi used to always be the one in control, while Li Tingyan had a natural desire for control.

At first, they even had to wrestle in bed.

But over time, they adapted to different roles.

However, this didn’t stop Lin Chi from occasionally enjoying seeing Li Tingyan in a submissive position.

But while kissing, Li Tingyan pulled him down from the table.

He held him horizontally, one hand around his back. Lin Chi’s hair had grown recently, even reaching his shoulders, and the soft strands lightly brushed against Li Tingyan’s hand.

They both fell onto the sofa.

Li Tingyan looked down at Lin Chi, completely enveloping him beneath him.

Lin Chi let out a chuckle.

He played with the buttons on Li Tingyan’s clothes, teasing, “Did you come back just to have some New Year’s fun with me?”

Li Tingyan also seemed somewhat helpless.

At least on his drive back, he had thought he would have a tender and affectionate evening.

He just wanted to spend New Year’s Eve with Lin Chi.

But in reality, once he was near Lin Chi, his usual elegance, gentleness, and composure seemed to be burned to ashes.

He lifted a strand of Lin Chi’s half-length hair, lowered his head, and kissed it.

“Let’s just say that’s the case.”

He looked at Lin Chi, with a slight smile, and his eyes were lazily relaxed. His originally refined and cold face now carried an inexplicable sensuality.

He said, “So we better make it quick. I need to head back in four hours.”

Lin Chi burst into laughter.

….

In the end, Li Tingyan did hold back and they only did it once.

He wasn’t really someone who would come back to spend the whole night in bed if he said he was coming back to keep someone company.

Lin Chi also had some sense of propriety. It was awkward to let the servants clean up after their mess on the sofa, so he nudged Li Tingyan to handle it.

His leg wound, which had already scabbed over, had torn open again due to excitement. Wrapped in a blanket, wearing only underwear, he was disinfecting it with iodine.

“Really, lust-clouded judgment.”

He said lazily, his voice slightly hoarse.

Li Tingyan tried to wipe away some suspicious marks before sitting back beside Lin Chi, only to find him drinking beer again.

Noticing his gaze, Lin Chi looked innocent, “What’s wrong with having a drink? New Year’s Eve should be celebrated like this. Which family doesn’t drink a bit on New Year’s Eve? Drinking while watching TV and having some snacks fits every holiday.”

Li Tingyan thought about it and agreed. There was no need to be too restrained on New Year’s Eve.

He glanced at Lin Chi’s leg wound, confirming it wasn’t serious, and took a can of beer from the table himself.

Lin Chi turned on the TV but didn’t find anything he wanted to watch, randomly stopping on a movie.

This was a new movie that was released that year, starring the veteran actor Xie Lan and the actress Luoyang Shu.

The plot wasn’t anything special—just a story of a young couple separated by war who reunited in middle age. However, the veteran actors delivered such solid performances. When the couple met on the street, and the female lead glanced back, you could see a myriad of emotions in her eyes. Although she didn’t shed tears, it felt like something was falling from her eyes and shattering.

Lin Chi found it a bit moving.

Li Tingyan didn’t keep track of him; he had already drunk three bottles of beer and sneakily opened a bottle of Li Tingyan’s Petrus.

He was drinking as if it were just a beverage, his cheeks flushed from the drinking.

When the female lead in the movie looked at the male lead, her smile contained all kinds of unspoken words. Lin Chi squeezed Li Tingyan’s face and said, “How did you become so good-looking?”

Lin Chi seemed astonished, his voice very low, almost like he was talking to himself.

Li Tingyan chuckled helplessly and noticed that Lin Chi was a bit drunk.

He also knew that Lin Chi’s attraction to his appearance had been evident from the very first day they met. Lin Chi had never hidden his admiration for his body.

He rarely joked around, but he said, “I don’t know. Maybe I should thank my mom for giving me such good looks.”

Lin Chi laughed.

He turned his gaze back to the TV.

The female lead said goodbye to the male lead, leaving the hotel alone, while the male lead silently watched her from the window above.

They both knew that this missed chance would haunt them for a lifetime.

Lin Chi didn’t really like these sad movies. He wasn’t a very artistic person; once he was dragged by Xi Ziwen to watch a French art film by a famous director and almost fell asleep the entire time, nearly being kicked out by Xi Ziwen.

But today, as he watched this slow-paced movie, he found his heart becoming a little sour.

In their youth, the two were neighbors who happened to live near each other.

The male lead was only twenty-five at the time, and the female lead was only nineteen. They could see each other from their windows and, while passing by the alley, would secretly glance up and have their hearts race at the sight of each other’s profile.

What a beautiful beginning.

Soft and pure, like jasmine in early spring.

Unlike his and Li Tingyan’s hurried and accidental encounter as strangers.

Li Tingyan was heartbroken over someone else.

And he, with ulterior motives, just wanted to spend a fleeting night with him.

But such a wonderful beginning in the movie ended up with separation, becoming familiar strangers, with all their words and feelings dissipating into the air.

Including the jasmine that had withered in their youth.

But now Li Tingyan was sitting next to him.

Specially coming on the first day of the new year, staying up late to accompany him for the countdown, sitting on the sofa together, and leisurely watching a love story from the last century.

This made the fire in his chest, which had been burning since he met Li Tingyan, unable to extinguish.

It burned so much that it hurt his heart.

Lin Chi drank a few more sips of red wine, but it was no use. It didn’t cool the warmth in his chest at all.

On the other hand, Li Tingyan looked a bit worried seeing him drink so much. He frowned in disapproval and took the wine glass from his hand.

Lin Chi wasn’t very happy about it.

But he hesitated for a moment and then let Li Tingyan take it.

He propped up one knee, with the blanket messily draped over him, revealing his beautiful muscles, shoulders, and slender collarbone, exuding a carefree charm.

But at the end of the movie, when the female lead lit a sparkler and silently cried,

His eyes sparkled under the lights, showing a rare childlike expression. He lifted his chin towards the TV and said, “I want one of those too.”

Li Tingyan didn’t understand at first.

Lin Chi yawned, lazily repeating, “A sparkler, I want one too.”

Li Tingyan raised an eyebrow, thinking the request was a bit demanding.

He had various large fireworks at home, but sparklers were a bit harder to come by.

But he didn’t refuse Lin Chi. He called the butler to find one.

Fortunately, they found some in the warehouse, though it was unclear who had bought them. They were small and mixed with other fireworks.

Li Tingyan, even as a child, hadn’t been interested in such cheap little toys.

But seeing Lin Chi’s enthusiasm, he patiently accompanied him to the garden.

Lin Chi changed into a simple blue robe, with soft white fleece as an inner lining, both light and warm.

He sat in the garden’s corridor, playing with the sparklers in his hands. He divided them into two and looked at Li Tingyan, who was standing nearby, smoking a cigarette and watching him like a serious and devoted guardian. Lin Chi couldn’t help but laugh.

He beckoned Li Tingyan with his finger, “Bend down, light this for me.”

Li Tingyan bent down.

Without even moving the cigarette from his lips, he leaned close, his eyelashes lowered like the dense shadows of trees by the lake.

The cigarette touched the sparkler, and Li Tingyan quickly stepped back.

The sparkler burst into flames, scattering sparks and lighting up Li Tingyan’s face.

He wore a black coat, tall and straight, with a slender, powerful build like bamboo segments. His face was pale in the night, still holding the cigarette, casually smiling, with his gaze on Lin Chi.

He looked like a gentleman from a Republic of China novel having a secret meet up with a lover in the garden.

Lin Chi stared at the thin sparklers in his hand, lost in thought.

The fireworks were so dazzling, and Li Tingyan was just as dazzling in his heart.

He suddenly asked Li Tingyan, “Do you know why I wanted to play with this?”

Li Tingyan shook his head.

“No.”

Lin Chi sighed and smiled, “When I was a child, during the New Year, my mom could only buy some sparklers and firecrackers to cheer me up.”

“You know our family’s situation wasn’t very good at that time, so when I played with sparklers, my mom would say that during the New Year, I could make a wish.”

“Very small wishes, like a new pair of gloves or a new backpack. But most of the time, I didn’t make those wishes, just let the fireworks slowly fade away.”

He stared at the sparkler in his hand, still burning, and then slowly looked up at Li Tingyan.

His voice was soft but clear on the cold winter night.

In the garden full of evergreen trees, even in winter, there was a faint scent of grass and trees.

Just like the night when he and Li Tingyan met.

He said, “Since my mother passed away, I haven’t lit one of these in many years. But now I’ve grown up, and I have new wishes.”

He gazed steadily at Li Tingyan, and at the moment he spoke these words, the sparkler in his hand finally burned down to its last moment.

A bit of gray-black ash fell to the ground and was swept away by the night wind, disappearing into who knows where.

Li Tingyan met his eyes. Even though the fireworks had gone out, those eyes were still so bright.

It made him feel a slight, burning pain all over.

In his heart, he vaguely realized who Lin Chi’s wish was related to.

He shouldn’t speak.

He shouldn’t ask.

He should just play the role of an indifferent bystander, remove himself from the situation, and keep his hands clean.

But looking at Lin Chi’s eyes, he still asked softly, “So what is your wish?”

Lin Chi smiled faintly.

He stood up and faced Li Tingyan. He was slightly shorter than Li Tingyan, but still a tall adult man.

This year, the transformation brought by work and the runway had completely shed the last bit of youthful innocence, turning him into a mature adult.

Moonlight fell on his face, his features well-defined, his eyes bright and captivating, enough to mesmerize anyone.

He looked at Li Tingyan without hiding or avoiding, with no aggressive movements, even a bit casual and carefree.

But anyone could feel the underlying firmness that emerged from his core at this moment.

“My wish is that I like you, and I hope you can like me too.”

Lin Chi said.

Under the witness of the garden full of flowers and trees, in the moonlight that no third person knew of, on the first night of the New Year.

He made his first confession in his life.